


The Season of Change

by PensToTheEnd



Series: All Of Me Loves All Of You [7]
Category: Hockey - Fandom, Hockey RPF
Genre: Bisexuality, Concussions, End of a Career, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gen, Homophobia, Injury, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, NHL RPF, Retirement, Same-Sex Marriage, Trade Talk, hockey violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-05-04 12:04:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 43
Words: 75,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14592657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PensToTheEnd/pseuds/PensToTheEnd
Summary: The 2024-25 season brings changes to the Penguins.  Sid and Jamie are both negotiating new contracts.  Injuries, however, make Sid take stock of his career and what he wants for his future.  Once upon a time, he thought he'd play hockey forever, but that was before Jamie and Kylie entered his life.  Now he has to think about more than just himself.  They say that when it's time, you'll know.  Sid knows.  Change is inevitable and this is a season that will bring big changes for Jamie and Sid, their hockey, and their futures.This is the season prior to the Prologue & Epilogue of All of Me Loves All of You.





	1. The Start of A New Season

Jamie hates physical fitness testing day. 

Lung capacity tests.  Endurance and stamina tests.  Vertical jump.  Horizontal jump.  Resting blood pressure and heart rate.  Maximum exertion blood pressure and heart rate.  Bloodwork.  Psychological evaluation.  Cognitive function testing. EKG.  MRI.  CT scan.  Eye exam.  Height.  Weight.  The list went on and on.  All designed to give the team doctors and trainers a baseline that could be used in determining future medical issues that might arise, and to make sure there weren’t any existing issues.

The physical exercise part of the day had never bothered him as much as the poking, prodding, needles, and getting hooked up to various machines.  This year things are different, he’s starting his tenth season in the league and his body is definitely telling him he’s not an eighteen-year-old rookie any more.  The bike had just about killed him.  What he gets for taking most of the summer off and not working out with Sid.

Jamie loves physical fitness testing day, because it marks the start of a new season. 

The 2023 – 24 season had ended earlier than any of Jamie’s other seasons with the Pens.  A first round loss to New Jersey of all teams. To add insult to injury, it had been a sweep as well.  That meant Jamie had a long summer to think about the sting of that humiliation.  He didn’t want it to happen again.

He scans the room, checking out this year’s crop of wannabes. There are a couple of promising prospects.  The first-round draft pick, some hot shot out of the OHL, was eyeing Jamie up earlier.  Jamie wasn’t sure if he was star-struck or homophobic the way he was looking at him.  The kid’s from the Toronto area, so who knows.  Then there’s Schwartz, the kid from Switzerland.  Surprisingly, he doesn’t speak much English.  He does speak German, and French, so at least he can communicate with some of the players.  Knuckles has been acting as interpreter for the trainers.  He could be competition for a spot on Sid’s line, fast and highly skilled.   

 “Have you and Sid talked about it?”  Brian asks, pulling Jamie back into their conversation.

“Not really.  He says Pat’s talked with Bob.  They’d like an extension.  And they’d like to get it done early.”  Jamie answered him.

Sidney was in the final year of his contract.  As far as Jamie knew, he wanted to keep playing.  And, the Pens wanted him to keep playing.  It was just a matter of settling on a number. 

Years, not dollars.

“Has Pat mentioned you?”

Jamie was also in the last year of his contract.  Like Sid, his contract would be a matter of length not amount.

“Not until after they have Sid signed.”  When Brian looked puzzled, Jamie added, “Bob’s rule, not Pat’s.”

“Oh.”  Brian nodded.  “That doesn’t sound promising.  You don’t think they’d let you go UFA, do you?”

“Nah.  I’m not worried.”  Jamie tried to sound positive. 

He couldn’t imagine the Pens not signing him.  But.  Bob Grummand is not Jim Rutherford, by any stretch of the imagination.  So, until he actually signed a new contract, that little nagging doubt would hang in the back of Jamie’s brain, an itch he couldn’t scratch.

“You need to ask for more money.  Bout time you get paid what you’re worth, Fluff.”

“Not about the money.”  Jamie shrugged.  “Not my thing.”

“I don’t get that.  Really?”  Brian said.  “Aren’t you worried about your future?  About Kylie’s future?”

“Nope.  Not really.  Sid’s pretty much got us well taken care of.  And, before you say it, even without Sid, I’d be okay.”  Jamie waved a hand nonchalantly in the air.  “There is life after hockey, Dumes.  I can go back to school.  I could be a scout. I could coach.  I could do a lot of shit.”

“What if you…”

“Don’t say it.”  Jamie warns him.  So, okay, some of Sid’s superstition has rubbed off on him.  He knocks three times on the table.  “We don’t talk about that.”

Injury.  Never talk about long-term, career-ending injury. 

“Something you need to think about.”  Brian said.

“Think about, yes.  Talk about, no.”  Jamie scowled.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Training camp opened the next day.  It was good to be back on the ice.  Good to feel the puck on his stick.  Good to get bumped around. 

Even though the Pens had faltered last season, squeaking in to the playoffs and going out in the first round, Jamie had an above average season.  Not a career season.  But not a bad season.  Twenty-two goals and sixty-one assists is a career season for a lot of players.  For Jamie, 83 points was his lowest points total ever.

There’s a comfortable familiarity about the first day of camp.  Lots of familiar faces.  Some in different roles with the Pens now.  Kris is there, a player development coach working with the defense.  Flower is the main goalie coach now.  A lot of the guys he’d won his first cups with had left, moving on to other teams or retiring.  Sid and Geno the only two left from the 2009 Cup winning team. 

They were the core two, surrounded by the next layer of Pens’ leadership - Jamie, Brian, Hags, and Knuckles.  Jamie had been wearing an A on his sweater full-time since Kris’ retirement.  It still felt strange.

Training camp was one of those familiar, comforting parts of life for Jamie.  With Mike Sullivan still coaching the Pens for at least a couple more years, this part was more routine than work.  After all this time, Sully still preached the basics and emphasized skill.  Play the right way.  Play our game.  Don’t think ahead, just play the game at hand.  Keep it simple.

He was reminded of that scene from _Bull Durham,_ picturing Sully walking into the locker room and throwing an armful of sticks across the floor.It’s a simple game.  You skate.  You pass the puck.  You shoot the puck.  You score goals. 

These kids will learn that, and their education starts today.

As he has every training camp, Sully has the players divided onto three teams.  Jamie has always been on Team 1, with Sid.  The teams are set up so that each of the top three lines is on a different team, and the d-pairings are split over the three teams, the others fill out the team rosters.  At least that’s the way it had been.

“What the hell is this?”  Jamie protests, looking over the team rosters. 

“Problem, baby boy?”  Sid asks from across the room.

“I’m not on your team.”

“Uh oh.  The dynamic duo has been split-up?”  Brian chirps.

“What team are you on?”  Sid asks. 

“Three.”  Jamie turns and walks back to his stall.  “With Shea.”

“Third line?  That’s some demotion.  What’d you do to piss Sully off?”  Brian laughs.

“This isn’t funny.”  Jamie says under his breath, giving Brian the death glare.

Brian knows better than to push it.

“Must have been a tough decision.”  Sid leans over and bumps his shoulder to Jamie’s.  “Maybe why they didn’t post rosters until this morning.”

“I think Sully just didn’t post it, so I wouldn’t have time to come complain to him.”  Jamie says through clenched teeth.

“You’ll survive.  There has to be a reason for it.”  Sid tells him.  He finishes tying his skates, grabs his sticks and heads out to the ice. 

Jamie sits and stews.  No point putting on his gear yet, he’s got two hours before his practice starts.  He puts on his sneakers and heads for a treadmill.  Time to run off his frustration.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

“Did you talk to Sully?”  Sid asks on the drive home.

“No.”

Ah, Sid thinks, still pissed.

“We’ll need to both drive the next few days.”  Sid kept his eyes on the road.

“We get done at the same time on Sunday.  And we won’t know about Monday until then.”  Jamie says.  “And I can just stick around and wait for you tomorrow.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Really pissed.

“You think it has anything to do with Grummand?”  Jamie asks after a few minutes.

“Sully sets the line-up.”

They ride in silence several more miles.

“Why would he split us up?”

“It’s only for training camp, Jame.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.  Cause unlike you, I talked to him.”  Sid braces himself, waiting for the fireworks to go off.

They don’t.

Sid glances over at Jamie, who is just staring back at him blankly.

“He wanted to give Schwartz a serious look.  So, he put him with me to let me work with him and give him an honest opinion.”

“Truth?”

“God’s honest.”  Sid smiles.  He reaches over and pats Jamie’s leg.  “Your spot on my wing is secure, baby boy.  Relax.”

More silence as Jamie sat back in his seat, thinking about what Sid said.

“Sid?”

“Yes?”

“Can we stop at the diner?”

“You ate.”

“Grace said she was going to make blueberry pie the other day when we stopped.”  Jamie added.

“You don’t need pie.”

“Please?”  Out came the puppy-dog eyes.  Sid tried his hardest not to look over at Jamie, but he could feel those eyes looking at him.  Soft, sad, so green and beautiful.

“Okay.”

“Yes!”  Jamie exclaimed happily.

Well, if all it took was a piece of pie to make him that happy, Sid was all for it.  Of course, it ended up not being just pie.  A giant cheeseburger, fries, and onion rings, was polished off and then followed by the pie, warmed up and topped with ice cream.  After all these years, Sid still had no idea where all the food went.


	2. Star-Struck Rookie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fuck that shit.” Jamie leaned forward, relaxing his posture. “He’s star-struck around Sid. That’s nothing new.”
> 
> “No. He is star-struck around you. Has no problem with Sidney.” Kris says, then nods at Jamie to indicate that their food is coming. 
> 
> Jamie looks a little confused.

When the season started a little over two weeks later, however, Jamie was not on Sid’s line.  Instead, he was playing with Riley on the third line, while one Swiss rookie had taken his spot on the top line.  He gotten passed his pissed stage and is just confused.  He had a great training camp and kicked ass in preseason.  Of course, he did it with Riley.

But, Sid also had a phenomenal preseason with Andreas Schwartz on his left wing.

Fuck.

Jamie knew what Sully was doing, he was trying to get back to having three or four strong scoring lines.  The way it had been when they’d won their last Cup, and the ones before that.  Last season they had lost some players and things weren’t balanced.  Other than when lines were switched up during games, though, Jamie had always started on Sid’s top line.  He knew that Sully never thought of the other lines as being lesser lines, but the fact of the matter was that they got less playing time.  That might be what bothered him the most.

Adding to Jamie’s stress was the addition of the OHL hotshot.  Yeah, the kid had made it through preseason and would be starting out in Pittsburgh.  The question was if he’d be staying there all season.  Jamie hoped not.  There was just something about him that put off a bad vibe to Jamie.  He had yet to put his finger on what it was exactly.

At least they were opening the season in Pittsburgh this year.  That was nice.  In fact, their first three games were at home.  Jamie used to love road games, as far as getting to see other cities was involved, not so much the flying.  But now, having Kylie at the games meant more.  And she had been to every home game since she was born. 

She had become a part of their game day routine.  She went to daycare at the rink while they took in morning skate or off-ice workouts.  Then it was out to the diner for lunch.  When they’d get home, it was time for pre-game naps and she’d curl up between them and fall asleep.  They’d drop her off at Luc and Diane’s on their way to the game.  After a win, it was ice cream time.  After a loss, they still got ice cream for Kylie.

The day before the opener, Jamie met Kris for lunch after practice.  Kris’ suggestion, and they were going to Primanti’s.  Obviously, Kris thought something was bothering Jamie if he was taking him to Primanti’s.

“Is there something you want to talk about?”  Kris asks after the server takes their order.

“No.  Is there something you want to talk about?”  Jamie raises an eyebrow at Kris.  He waves his hand in the air, motioning to their surroundings.  “I mean.”

“Dillon.”

Yep.  Straight to the point.

“What about him?”

“You tell me.”  Kris’ face takes on a serious look.  “He thinks you hate him.”

“No.  I don’t hate him.  I don’t know him well enough to hate him.”  Jamie sits back against the seat, back straight, arms down, hands flat on the table.  “It’s Schwartzy I don’t like.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.  I know.  But he’s not having a problem with that.”  Kris says.  “Dillon is.”

“Why?”  Jamie questions.  “Okay, I don’t know what it is about him, but the kid just gives off this weird vibe.  Like, I don’t know, he’s uncomfortable around me and Sid.  Think he’s got a problem playing with us, I mean, couple us.  Ya know?”

“That’s not the problem.”  Kris shakes his head.  “That’s really not the problem.”

Jamie scrunches his brow in confusion.  He stares at Kris, trying to figure out that comment.

“He’s…”  Kris starts.

“Gay.”  Jamie finishes.  That’s what he’s been getting from the kid.  Not homophobia.

“I was going to say star-struck, but he is gay, too.”  Kris says.  “And he’s afraid to say anything around you and Sid, cause he thinks you hate him.”

“He’s not out?  Wasn’t out to his team before?”  Jamie stays on the thought that the kid is gay.

“No.  I would assume he was afraid he wouldn’t get drafted.”

After all this time.  Some things may never change in hockey.

“Fuck that shit.”  Jamie leaned forward, relaxing his posture.  “He’s star-struck around Sid.  That’s nothing new.”

“No.  He is star-struck around you.  Has no problem with Sidney.”  Kris says, then nods at Jamie to indicate that their food is coming. 

Jamie looks a little confused.

“What?”  Kris cocks his eyebrow.  “You are surprised?”

“Me?”

“Yes.  You.  Why would you find that hard to understand?”

Their server brings their food, after she leaves, Kris leans forward.

He says softly.  “He has a crush on you.”

“Shut up!”  Jamie exclaimed, jerking back.

Kris looked around to see how much attention that drew, a few people were looking over at the hockey stars.

“Sssshhhh.  But, yes.  Why aren’t you getting this?”

“Shut the fuck up.”  Jamie repeats.  “He does not.”

“Yes.  He does.”  Kris says, leaning back.  “You’ve just been with Sid too long, your gaydar is broken.”

Jamie sat there, dumbfounded.  How had he missed something like this kid having a crush on him.  And wait, this kid had a crush on him?

“On me?”

“Yes.  You.”

“I just. I.  Wow.  Okay.”

“I think he’s here to stay, too.  Geno likes him.  He’s playing good on his wing.  The coaches like him.”

“He has a crush?  On me?”  Jamie says, still trying to process that fact.

“What part of that are you not getting.  He is gay.  He has a crush on you.  You are his favorite player.  Yes.  You.”  Kris tells him.  “Personally, I don’t understand it.  I’m so much better looking.”

“Not.”

“Bullshit.  You still think I’m sexy.”  Kris chirps.

“That’s not the point.  You’re not sexier than me.”  Jamie laughs.  “Okay.  So, what do I do about this?”

“Well, for starters, you can be nicer to him.  He thinks you hate him.”

“You keep saying that.  Why would he think that?”

“Oh, I don’t know?”  Kris answers, his voice and face taking on the famous Tanger sarcasm tone.  “Maybe because you never talk to him.  You ignore him when he tries to talk to you.  You’re an asshole to him.  Hhhmm…. Should I go on?”

“I’m not an asshole to him.”

“No.  You’re right.  I was wrong about that.  You’re an asshole to everyone lately.”

“Ha, ha.”  Jamie snaps.  “Whatever.  Wait?  Why did he tell you all this?”

“My charming personality.”  Kris smirks.  “I don’t know.  Maybe he’s less star-struck around me.  And, he’s a Frenchie.  You know, we all stick together.”

“Star-struck.  Over me?  That’s just so weird sounding.”

“You are a big star.”

Jamie shrugged.  He never thought of himself that way.

“Anyway.”  Kris continues.  “You need to be nicer to him.”

“Okay, Dad.”  Jamie grins.  “I’ll play nice.”

“With Schwartz, too.”

“Now you’re pushing it.”  Jamie laughed.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Jamie got up and went for his run.  When he got home, Sid was already getting up and had breakfast fixed for Kylie.  Jamie took a quick shower, then came down to fix his own breakfast while Sid showered.  He cleared Kylie’s breakfast dishes as he sent her off to get dressed.  A short time later, the three of them were on their way into Pittsburgh for morning skate.

Jamie sat in the changing room silently watching Dillon Chamberlain.  The rookie had looked across the room at him a couple of times.  Jamie had smiled, which caused Dillon to drop his chin sheepishly to his chest and look away. 

“Stop teasing him.”  Sid leaned over close to Jamie and whispered.

“I’m not.”  Jamie said under his breath.

“You are.  You’re flirting.  And that’s teasing, because it isn’t going anywhere.  And you need to stop.”  Sid said sternly.

“Yes, sir.”  Jamie said, irritated.  “But, isn’t tormenting the rookies half the fun of a new season?”

“Not this one.  Don’t do it.”

“Fine.”  Jamie said.  “You kill all my fun.”

“You’re such a brat sometimes.”  Sid laughed.  He stood and pulled his compression shirt on, then bent down to whisper into Jamie’s ear.  “If what Kris said is true, we need to have a chat with him at some point.  And soon.”

“I have no doubt that what Kris said is right.”  Jamie whispered back.  “I’ll handle it.”

“Don’t hurt him.”  Sid said as he stood and walked away.

Jamie looked over at Chamberlain again.  Dillon was laughing and joking with Geno, who was standing in front of his stall.  Dillon glanced around Geno’s legs and caught Jamie looking.  Jamie dropped his gaze instantly and swore to himself.  He hurriedly finished changing and went in search of Kris.  He needed some more advice.


	3. Lunch Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dillon blushed, and beamed, at the compliment.
> 
> “Why did you ask me to lunch?” 
> 
> “Because I wanted to have a chance to talk to you, see how things are going.” Jamie said. “And, apologize for being an asshole.”
> 
> Dillon smiled, a soft chuckle escaping his lips before he brought a hand up to cover his mouth in embarrassment.
> 
> “That’s okay. Kris says you are an asshole a lot.” Dillon said.
> 
> “He did. Yeah. Takes one to know one.” Jamie smiles. “He says a lot of things. Like he told me that you are, um, well…”
> 
> “Gay.”
> 
> “Yes.”

_Lunch?  On me_.

Jamie debates several moments before he sends the text.  Then he waits.  And waits.  And waits.

Just before their flight lands in Chicago on the first stop of the season’s first road trip, Jamie gets a response.  A simple, yes, nothing more.  He tells Sid that the kid said yes as they ride to the hotel.  They get their room keys and drag their bags up in the elevator.  Jamie takes some time to freshen up after the flight, then gives Sid a kiss good-bye and goes off to meet the star-struck rookie for lunch.

“Have you been to Chicago before?”  Jamie asks Dillon as they wait for their ride.

“No.”  Dillon stands with his hands in his pockets, shoulders rolled forward, looking a lot like a nervous Sid. 

“Well, it’s not necessarily my favorite, but everyone needs to experience Chicago pizza at some point.  That sound good today?”

“Sure.”

Like pulling teeth, Jamie thinks.  Wow, has he really been that much of an asshole to this kid that he’s this uptight around him?  He’s really tried to be nicer since the season started.  It’s been hard.  On one side he’s got Kris telling him to be nicer.  On the other side is Sidney telling him not to flirt with the kid.  Jamie didn’t think being nice was flirting.  Sidney does.  Jamie kind of likes jealous Sid at times.

Their car pulls up and they climb in the back seat.  Jamie chats with the Uber driver and gets him to take them to the driver’s favorite deep-dish pizza place. 

“How’re things going?”  Jamie asks after they’ve been seated and placed their order.

“Okay.”

“Living with Tanger going okay?”

“Yeah.  It is good.”  Dillon fidgets with his napkin, twisting it in his hands under the table.

“That’s good.”

“Do you think they will keep me here?”  Dillon asks abruptly, his eyes, which have been looking anywhere else, suddenly focused directly on Jamie.

“I, uh, I think so.  G’s very happy, that’s a good thing.”  Jamie chuckles.  “And you’ve been playing well.”

“You think so?”

“Two goals in four games.  And G has two goals and two assists.  Yeah.  That’s a pretty good start to the season.”  Jamie was pointless through four games.  Sid and Schwartz both had two goals and two assists each.  He was the one who wasn’t having a good start.

Dillon blushed, and beamed, at the compliment.

“Why did you ask me to lunch?” 

“Because I wanted to have a chance to talk to you, see how things are going.”  Jamie said.  “And, apologize for being an asshole.”

Dillon smiled, a soft chuckle escaping his lips before he brought a hand up to cover his mouth in embarrassment.

“That’s okay.  Kris says you are an asshole a lot.”  Dillon said.

“He did.  Yeah.  Takes one to know one.”  Jamie smiles.  “He says a lot of things.  Like he told me that you are, um, well…”

“Gay.”

“Yes.”

“I asked him to say something.”

“You know, you could have come to Sid and me, too.  There’s no issue with the Pens or our locker room.”

“There is.”  Dillon states, coldly, matter-of-factly.

“What?”  Jamie was taken-back by that.  He wasn’t aware of any issues in the locker room.  “Who?  What?”

“It’s okay.  I just.  I think it is better if I don’t tell anyone.  You know.  I just try to play my best.”

“Better not to tell us you’re gay?  Or, better not to say if someone is harassing you?”

“Not harassing.  Just.  There have been comments made.”

“By who?”  This lunch had taken a different turn from where Jamie thought it would go. 

“I would rather not say.”  Dillon stared down at the table.

“I’d like to know.  No one has to know the info came from you, but the Pens really don’t tolerate that behavior.”  Jamie says seriously.

“It was another of the rookies.  I just do not think he knows that it is not right to say things like he does.”

“Schwartz?”

Dillon nods his head, reluctantly. 

Fuck him, another reason for Jamie not to like Schwartz.

“What did he say?”

Dillon shakes his head.  “I’m not going to say.”

“But, it made you uncomfortable?”

Dillon nodded slowly.  “It was very, well, it was not good.”

“Okay.  I’ll take care of it.”  Jamie said as their food finally arrived. 

As they sat and ate, they talked about a multitude of things.  Jamie learned about Dillon’s family, his pets, and his hockey growing up.  They talked about TV shows and movies, and what Dillon liked to do away from hockey.  He likes music, doesn’t play any instruments and can’t sing, he tells Jamie.  His family owns a farm and his favorite thing is to work with the horses, he loves riding. 

The more they talk, the more Dillon seems to relax around Jamie.  Kris’ advice had been on point.  Take him to lunch and let him talk, he’d said.

They finished their meal, spent some more time talking over dessert, because, one important thing Jamie had learned from Sid was that dessert was always a good move.  Then Jamie called for their ride and they returned to the hotel.

“How’d it go?”  Sid questioned when Jamie got back to their room.

“Good.”  Jamie flopped down on his back on the bed next to Sid.  “Great.”

“But?”

“Well he doesn’t think I hate him anymore, so that’s a plus.”

“Does he want to come out to the team?”

“No.  And, that may not be the not so great part.”  Jamie rolled over and propped himself up on his elbows.  “Schwartz has made some homophobic comments from what I gathered.  Dillon didn’t tell me what exactly was said, but it was enough to bother him.”

“Andreas?”  Sid seemed honestly surprised.

“That’s what he said.  The kid’s a jerk, I told you that before.”

“Coming from you I have my doubts about that.  You’re just a bit biased.”  Sid said.

“Well, Captain.  It’s coming from another player, someone with no skin in the game.  So, you may want to look into it.”

“Okay.  I’ll get on it tomorrow.”  Sid pointed at his laptop.  “Want to call home?  I was waiting for you to get back.”

“Damn right I do!”  Jamie exclaimed happily.  He got up and positioned himself next to Sid, so they could both see the screen and be in the camera shot.  For the next hour at least, Jamie didn’t worry about Andreas Schwartz, Dillon Chamberlain, or anything to do with hockey or the Pens.  For the next hour, his world revolved around a five-year-old and her art project for kindergarten.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Knuckles says you’re wrong about Schwartz.”  Sid says as they settle into their hotel room in St. Louis the next night. 

They had beaten Chicago, 3-2, and flown out to their next stop.  It’s the first time Sid’s had a chance to talk to Jamie in private since Jamie told him about the comments the Swiss rookie had possibly made.

“You talked to him?”

“Yeah.  He said he’s never heard him say anything that he thought was wrong.”

“What if he said it in French?  Would Knuckles know?”

Sid paused from hanging his suit jacket in the closet, his hand lingering on the hanger as he pondered Jamie’s suggestion.

“I didn’t think about that.”  Sid turned back to Jamie.  “He could have.”

Sid walked back to stand next to the bed.  He slowly started to unbutton his dress shirt, deep in thought.  Jamie went about stripping out of his suit and hanging his own jacket up in the closet, eyeing Sid cautiously as he walked back and forth across the room.

“Well?”  Jamie finally says.

“I’m trying to think if he’s said or done anything quirky around me.  I mean, if he does have a problem with it, wouldn’t it come out at some point?  In front of me.  To me.  I mean, if you’re that way, you couldn’t hide it.  Not the way we act around each other at times.”

“He’s a sneaky bastard.  Maybe he can hide his feelings really, really well.”  Jamie says, walking in to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

“He is not.  You just don’t like that he took your spot, admit it.  That’s why you want to believe the worst.”  Sid follows him through the doorway.  “Text Knuckles.  Have him come over and grill him yourself.”

“Can’t.  He has plans.”

“This late?”

Jamie gives Sid a sarcastic look, raising an eyebrow and tipping his head slightly.

“He has plans.”  He says again, stressing each word individually.

Sid stares blankly.

“Shears.”

“Oh!”  Sid exclaims, things finally connecting in his brain.  “Right.  Shears.”

“We’re only in town tonight, so they’re hooking up.”  Jamie goes on.

Shears had been traded to St. Louis last year.  This would be the first time Tommy has seen him since the trade.

“Don’t look so smug.”

“Hey, when the master matchmaker makes a match the match stays matched.”

“Say that again.”  Sid steps behind Jamie and wraps his arms around his middle, letting his chin rest against Jamie’s back between his shoulder blades.  “Matchmaker.”

Jamie spits out his toothpaste, rinses his mouth and twists himself around in Sid’s arms.  He bends down and gives Sid a quick kiss.

“Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.”  Jamie sings.

Sid leans up on his toes, chasing Jamie’s mouth for another kiss.  This one, longer, deeper, and much slower. 


	4. Dinner At The Crosby House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andreas and Dillon chat in French with Kylie. Sid listens intently, not letting on at just how much of the conversation he understands. Jamie can follow most of it, too. But they are speaking very quickly, like Kris when he’s worked up, so Jamie just kind of tunes it out. He instead makes a show of displaying his affection for Sid, very publicly. He’s hugging Sid, kissing Sid, holding his hand, all to see what kind of reaction he gets from Andreas. So far, he’s gotten nothing.

The road trip ends with the Pens taking five out of the six points up for grabs with wins in Chicago, St. Louis, and an overtime loss in Dallas.  It was a relatively short trip, three games in six days.  Jamie was happy to be back home, even six days was too long away from his girl.  They get in to Pittsburgh late.  Kylie will be fast asleep, so they have to wait until morning to go get her.  Diane has offered to fix them breakfast.

They have the day off, so they can spend it with Kylie.  They’ve already told her teacher that she won’t be there.  It’s easy to just pull her for a day here and there, like her daycare had been, her schooling is at either the training center or PPG, depending on where the team is practicing.  Kylie and several other players’ kids, including Olivia, are home-schooled.  Eventually, they plan on having her attend public school, but for now, this is more convenient to their schedule and life-style.

Nothing more has been done about the possible Schwartz situation.  Sid is insistent that his winger is not bigoted.  Jamie is just as adamant that he is.  It’s been a point of contention since St. Louis.  It is also the last thing Jamie wants to be thinking or talking about on the drive home from the airport.

“I think we should have the rookies over for dinner.  We haven’t done that yet this season.” 

Jamie’s had his head resting against the passenger side window, eyes closed, half asleep.  He slowly opens one eye and gives Sid a sideways glance.  Then he huffs and shifts in his seat, twisting to face the window more.

“Don’t ignore me.  You’ve done that for two days.  We have tomorrow off.  Let’s have them over.”

“No.  We’re spending the day with Kylie.”

“We can do both.  Besides, she loves it when the guys come over.”

Jamie lifts his head and stares over the console at Sid.  “I’m too tired for this.  No.”

“I’ll send them a text when we get home.  What should we have?  Supposed to be nice tomorrow?  We could grill steaks.  Kylie could make those potatoes she likes.  Salad.  Wonder if we could still find some corn?”  Sid continued, ignoring Jamie.

“Sid.  Not happening.”

“Maybe we should get some good German beer for Schwartzy.  I think he’d like that.”

“He’s not old enough to drink here.  Neither is Dillon.”

“I don’t remember that stopping either of us from drinking.”  Sid muses.  “Maybe we should make some fun drinks instead.  Margaritas?  Daiquiris?  Whatcha think, baby boy?”

“I don’t think we should be serving them alcohol at our house.”

“So, then you agree that they’re coming over?”

“That’s not what… fuck you, asshole.”  Jamie swears at him.  “Okay.  Are we inviting Knuckles over too, then?  To translate?”

“Andy speaks French.  Dillon speaks French.  I think we’ll be okay.”  Sid grins.  He’s won this round.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“This is a very nice house.”  Dillon says as Kylie gives him the grand tour.

“Merci.” Kylie thanks him.

 _“You speak French?”_ Dillon asks hopefully.

“ _Yep.  Uncle Tanger and Uncle Flower taught me.”_   Kylie tells him, raising her arms palms up and shrugging, like it’s silly that he’d say that.  “ _And German.  It’s cause I have lots of uncles from all over.  And Nikki, he teaches me Russian and I help him with his English.”_

That leads to a long conversation about being a hockey kid as they wait for Andreas to arrive. When he finally gets there, he gets the tour of the house as well.  Kylie talks to him in French, too, which impresses him.  She doesn’t let on that she knows German.  Daddy told her not to tell him, but she’s not sure why.  “Our little secret, to play a joke on Papa.”  Jamie had told her.  Kylie was good as keeping secrets with Daddy from her Papa, so they could prank him.

It’s a warm mid-October evening in Sewickley, which makes grilling on the back patio is a go.  They sit around sipping virgin Daiquiris, strawberry, Kylie’s favorite, as Sid cooks the steaks.  The conversation centers around hockey.  Kylie tells a lot of stories about learning to skate and play.  She asks them tons of questions about how they like Pittsburgh.  She talks about the zoo, and museums, and parks, and all the places they need to see. 

Dillon likes the city so far.  He’s also been told that he’ll be staying with the Pens for the season.  Andreas still isn’t sure of his status.  He thinks he might be sent down to Wilkes-Barre, which wouldn’t be bad, he says.  He’s finding Pittsburgh a little overwhelming.

 _“I am from a small town in Switzerland.  I am not liking the big city.”_  Andreas tells Dillon.  _“Maybe you could help me get around since you to like it here.”_

 _“I am not sure you would like to hang with me.”_ Dillon answers shyly.  _“I don’t think we like the same things.”_

Andreas’ smile disappeared for the briefest of seconds, before he shrugged and told Dillon to never mind, that Dillon was probably right about that.  Andreas got up and went to get refills on the drinks for everyone and that was the last that was said about it.

Andreas and Dillon chat in French with Kylie.  Sid listens intently, not letting on at just how much of the conversation he understands.  Jamie can follow most of it, too.  But they are speaking very quickly, like Kris when he’s worked up, so Jamie just kind of tunes it out.  He instead makes a show of displaying his affection for Sid, very publicly.  He’s hugging Sid, kissing Sid, holding his hand, all to see what kind of reaction he gets from Andreas.  So far, he’s gotten nothing.

Dinner is delicious.  The steaks grilled to perfection, if Jamie does say so himself.  Kylie’s potatoes are a hit, too.  They’re simple baking potatoes, sliced, but not all the way through, to make slats.  Then you put butter in the slats, add garlic salt and parsley flakes, and that’s it.   They get wrapped in foil and baked.  Diane makes them this way and she taught Kylie.  Jamie’s not surprised that Kylie likes them, they used to be Kyle and Cat’s favorite, as well.

Andreas’ phone rings as they are finishing dessert, yellow cake with peanut butter and chocolate frosting.  He excuses himself as he answers it and starts talking in German.  It’s a short call.  He laughs a couple of times and smiles.  He gets serious for a few minutes, his face taking on a strained look.  By the time he ends the call, he’s all happy again.  He says a few things to Dillon in French, who translates for Sid and Jamie.

“His Maman.  She is a nurse who works overnight shift.  She calls him every night to see how he is and tell him good-night.” 

Jamie and Sid smile at that.  It’s got to be hard being so far from home and away from family.  They’ve both forgotten what that’s like at this point.

Jamie sees Kylie giggling out of the corner of his eye.  When he gives her a puzzled look, she just smiles at him and shakes her head.  Jamie’s not sure what’s going on with her.  Once the boys have left for the night, he carries her up to bed.  He tosses her down on the mattress and she scrambles off to go put her pajamas on and brush her teeth.

“What gave you the giggles earlier?”  Jamie asks as he turns down her bed sheets.

“Andy.”  Kylie laughs from her bathroom.  “What he told his mom.”

“Oh?  It was funny?” Jamie tried to sound less interested than he was.  This was why he told her not to tell Andreas she knew any German.  His plan had worked.

“Yep.”  She comes charging out and jumps on the bed, snuggling down under the sheets and blanket as Jamie pulls them up around her.

“You gonna tell me what he said?”

“Nope.”

“Sunshine.  Come on.  You have to share.”  Jamie tickles her sides, making her squirm and scream.

“He’s got a crush on Dillon.  He thinks Dillon is cute.  He said he tried to ask him out, but Dillon said no.”  Kylie gets out between giggles.

Jamie’s mouth drops open.  Well, that puts a new twist on things.


	5. Minor Disagreements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can cut the tension on the ice with a skate blade. The vets are used to riding out the ups and downs of having a couple on the team. Try as Sid and Jamie might, personal life problems often spill over to professional life. Truth is, most guys’ personal lives are brought to work on occasion, you just normally don’t have issues compounded by having both parties there. 
> 
> The newer guys look shell-shocked by the time practice ends. Andreas and Dillon look downright scared.
> 
> “Did we do something wrong last night?” Dillon asks Andy, who shakes his head and says he doesn’t know.

It’s a good thing Jamie’s driving.  Sid would probably have wrecked when he hears Jamie make a shocking admission.

“Excuse me?  What was that?”  Sid stammers in disbelief.

“I was wrong.”

“About?”

“Andreas.”

Sid stares at Jamie incredulously.  Jamie, for his part, keeps his eyes focused on the road.  Kylie giggles from the back seat.

“That’s right, Sunshine.  Papa’s being silly.”  Jamie glances at the rearview mirror at her reflection. 

“That had to hurt.”  Sid goes on.  “Wow.  I’m not sure I’ve ever heard those words come out of your mouth before.”

“I’ve admitted I was wrong before.  It just doesn’t happen to me as often as it does you.”

Sid scoffs at that.  “No.  You just don’t admit it as readily as I do.  Anyway.  You were wrong about him.  That’s good.  But, uh, what changed your mind?”

“I tried my hardest last night.  Tried to get him to bite.  Make some comment.  Show some disgust.”

“Yes.  You were rather affectionate last night.  I wondered what was up.  I should have known.”  Sid shakes his head.  “So, he’s not the problem you thought.  That’s good.”

“Well, I thought maybe he was just good at hiding it, you know, controlling his feelings.  But, I found out something else last night.”  Jamie turned to give Kylie a sly wink and she giggled loudly.

Sid turned in his seat to look at her.  “You in on some secret, Sunshine?”

“Uh huh.”  She laughs.  “I know something you don’t know.”

“What’s that?”  Sid says before Jamie can say anything.

“Andy has a crush on Dillon.”  She blurts out.  And again, it’s good that Sid’s not driving as he nearly spits out his coffee.

Jamie frowns at her and Kylie freezes, getting quiet right away, her hands darting up to cover her mouth.  God love her, he thought, she liked pranking Sid, but she had always been terrible at keeping secrets from him, so unless the pranks were carried out quickly, the game was up before he had a chance to really set Sid up.

“That was a secret, Kylie.”  Jamie smiles.

“I’m sorry.”

Jamie turns and glances back at her.  She’s got her head down and looks like she might cry because she thinks he’s mad.

“It’s okay.  I just wasn’t going to tell Papa, yet.”

When Jamie glances over at Sid, he’s getting the evil Sid stare, the ‘you’re in big trouble mister’ stare.

“Sunshine?  How do you know Andy likes Dillon?  Did he tell you?”  Sid asks.  When Jamie starts to say something, Sid holds his hand up to him in warning.  When Kylie doesn’t answer right away, Sid asks again.  “Sunshine?”

“It’s okay, baby.  Tell Papa.”

“I heard him telling his mom on the phone.”

Jamie glances over at Sid again.  Oh yeah, he’s definitely in big trouble.

They drop Kylie with her teacher and walk in silence towards the locker room.  Once they are out of any kind of earshot of the classroom area, Sid stops.

“You had our daughter fucking eavesdrop on him.  That’s low, Jamie.”

“It wasn’t like that.  Exactly.”

“He doesn’t know she knows German, does he?  You conveniently had her omit that little tidbit from him.”

“It just never came up.”  Jamie shrugs.  “Oops.”

“Oops?  You had her lie.”

“Not exactly.”

“Yes.  Exactly.”  Sid yells.  “You did it to see if you could catch him saying something bad about us in German.  So, it was done on purpose and for no good reason.  Jesus, Jame.  Really?  Using Kylie like that because you’re jealous of him?”

“I’m not…”

“Bull-fucking-shit you aren’t.  Look.  He’s staying here.  He’s on my line.  Get over yourself.  You know that Sully doesn’t consider you a third-line winger.  He’s spreading out our depth.  And so far, it’s working really well.  So, if you aren’t on my line, that’s hockey.  You just got spoiled all this time because Sully kept us together.  Things change.”

“That’s rich, coming from the most superstitious, routine driven, I hate change player in the world.”

“Things change.  That’s the point.  I’ve learned to accept that.”

“Fuck that.”  Jamie throws his hands up and starts to walk away.

“Don’t walk away from me.  We aren’t done, yet.”  Captain Crosby voice.  Jamie stops in his tracks and spins on his heels.

“Yes, Captain.  What else?”

“Just what are you planning to do with this information?”

“I don’t know, yet.  But, I thought getting them together sounded like a good plan.”

“Are you going to tell Andy you know?  And that Kylie was spying on him?” 

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Let me rephrase that, then.  You are going to tell Andy.”

“Is that an order, Captain?”

“If it has to be.”

“Fuck you.”  Jamie swears, turns, and storms off.

You can cut the tension on the ice with a skate blade.  The vets are used to riding out the ups and downs of having a couple on the team.  Try as Sid and Jamie might, personal life problems often spill over to professional life.  Truth is, most guys’ personal lives are brought to work on occasion, you just normally don’t have issues compounded by having both parties there. 

The newer guys look shell-shocked by the time practice ends.  Andreas and Dillon look downright scared.

 _“Did we do something wrong last night?”_   Dillon asks Andy, who shakes his head and says he doesn’t know.

Jamie rushes to get changed.  He leaves with Kris before Sidney is even done with his shower.  Everyone left in the room gives Sid a wide berth as he finishes getting changed. 

Sid retrieves Kylie and gets Flower to take her home with him for the afternoon.  She doesn’t need to witness the fight he’s sure is coming when he gets home.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kris’ car is parked in the driveway when Sidney gets home.  He thinks about leaving again, letting Kris just work his magic and talk some sense into Jamie.  The more he thought about things on the ride home, the more Sid realized this wasn’t worth a fight between him and Jamie, maybe he’d been too harsh this morning.  A softer approach might be needed to get through this.

Instead, though, he shut the engine off and got out.  Once he’d made his way in the house, he looked around for Jamie and Kris.  He finally saw them in the backyard, sitting on Kylie’s swing set.  Kris is just sitting on one of the swings.  Jamie is slowly twisting around in the other swing, his feet dragging on the ground underneath him.

Sid decides it’s better not to interrupt them.  Let Kris talk.  Jamie is listening, which is a good sign.  He retreats to the kitchen and goes about fixing some sandwiches for them.  He’s almost finished when he hears the French door slide open and close again.  A few seconds later, Kris strolls into the kitchen.

“He’s not mad.”

“Right.”  Sid says sarcastically.  “He’s pissed at me.”

“He’s hurt.”

“Poor baby.”

“Stop it.”  Kris snaps.  “Just.  Stop it.”

“Did you talk some reason into him?  Tell him to get over it?”  Sid walks to the pantry to get some chips for Jamie.  “Did he tell you what he did?  Why we’re fighting?”

“Yes.”  Kris sighs heavily.  “And he knows he did it the wrong way.  But he had good intentions.”

Sid rolls his eyes.  “No, his intentions were not good.  But, okay.”

“Why do you do this?”

“Do what?”  Sid questions.

“Ignore his feelings.  Brush them off.  Tell him he’s not feeling the way he’s feeling.  You still do this to him.”  Kris sits down at the table.  “After all this time.  You still do this.”

“I do not.”

“Sidney.”  Kris’ eyes lock on him like lasers, glaring until Sid looks away, sheepishly dipping his head.

“Fine.  So, I do.”  Sid snaps.  “But he acts like… like… ugh.”

“And we know why.  And we deal with it.  And we support him.  And we don’t yell at him.  We talk calmly.  We work out his feelings and problems.”  Kris drones out, slowly, deliberately.

“I know.  I know.”  Sid sighs softly.  “I need to go apologize.”

“In a bit.  Let him think I’m really yelling at you.”

Sid carries a plate over and sets Kris’ sandwich down in front of him.  They hear the French doors open and close.

“Or not.”  Kris whispers.

Jamie strolls into the kitchen, looks over the sandwich and chips on a plate waiting for him, and walks past them to the fridge.  He opens the door, bends to survey the contents and straightens with a tub of some leftovers that may or may not still be edible.  Sid’s not sure how long they’ve been in there.  Without saying a word, Jamie grabs a fork out of the silverware drawer and leaves.

“Wasn’t there something you were going to say to him?”

“You saw the look.  He’s not in a receptive mood.”  Sid shrugs.  “Better to just let him stew.  He’ll get over it.”

“Sid.”  Kris says, sternly.

“Fine.”  Sid throws his hands up in the air.  “I’m going.”

Sid gets up and goes in search of Jamie.  Kris, a thoroughly smug look of satisfaction on his face, takes a bite of his sandwich and hums happily.  Every now and then, he needs to mediate.  Life with Jamie is like being on an emotional rollercoaster, and Sid doesn’t always deal well with the ride.  This is one of those times.  At least Sid is on his way to talk, Kris’ work is almost done.

Sid had heard the patio doors again, so he made his way in that direction.  Jamie had gone back out to sit on the swing set.  Sid watched him take the lid off the container of leftovers, hold it to his nose and sniff.  Jamie’s nose scrunched up right away and he shook his head at the smell.  He put the lid back on and tossed the container and fork on the ground.

Sid stepped through the doors, closing them behind him.  “I have food for you.  Edible food.”

Jamie twisted the swing around, putting his back to Sid, the chains crossing over his head.

“So.”  Sid walks over and sits down in the other swing.  “I’m supposed to say I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

Jamie turns more, keeping his back to Sid, his head down, feet scuffing at the ground.

“And I’m supposed to say I’m sorry for not taking your feelings seriously.”

He gets a huff.

“And, I’m supposed to say I love you.”

“Kris didn’t tell you you had to say that.”

“So, I don’t love you?”

“You’re an asshole.”

“There it is.  That attitude I love.  Kris just doesn’t understand you the way I do.”

Jamie turns his head, looking over his shoulder to give Sid an eye roll.

“See, I know that this is all so you can get make-up sex.”  Sid grins.

“Fuck you.”  Jamie lets the swing spin back around.

“If you’re lucky.”

“Not happening.  You want make-up sex, go fuck yourself.”  Jamie gets up and heads to the house.

“Stop acting like you’re younger than our daughter.  Jesus, even she doesn’t throw tantrums as much as you do.”

Jamie holds up his hand and gives Sid the finger but keeps walking.

A few minutes after Jamie disappears into the house, Kris appears on the patio.

“You did not listen to a word I said, did you?”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m sorry, Papa.”

“For what, baby girl?”  Sid asks as he tucks her into bed later that night.

“You and Daddy fighting.”

She’s a very astute five-year-old.  And they weren’t really that good at hiding things from her, especially Jamie.

“That’s not your fault, honey.  Don’t worry about it.  We’re not really fighting.  Just having a disagreement.”

“Cause I lied.”

“You lied?  About what?”

“Cause I didn’t tell Andy I knew German.”  Kylie rolls over and buries her face in her pillow.  Sid can hear the soft sobs. “And you’re mad at me and Daddy.”

“Aw, Sunshine, I’m not mad at you.”  Sid leans over her, nuzzling his face against the side of her head.  “I’m not mad at Daddy, either.  It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.”  Now she’s full-on crying. 

It’s way past her bedtime.  She’s over-tired and upset.  It had been a chore getting her to eat dinner and take a bath after Flower had dropped her off.  She had wanted to stay up and play games.  The three of them had played cards, but it was very evident that Jamie wasn’t talking to him.

Sid sat up and pulled her up into his arms.  She buried her head against his neck, her arms tucked in between their bodies, her little hands curled up into tight fists as she sobbed softly.  Sid rocked her gently, singing to her and telling her that it’s all okay until she quiets and falls asleep.  When he’s sure she’s out, he tucks her back under the covers, kisses her forehead and slips out.

“She all set for the night?”  Jamie asks when Sid comes back downstairs.  It’s the first he’s talked to Sid since their earlier argument. 

“She was crying.  Cause she thinks I’m mad at her.  And you made her lie to me.”

“I didn’t…”  Jamie starts, then stops.  “Whatever.”

“What would you call it?  You used our daughter to spy on him.”

“I didn’t…”  Jamie starts again, and stops again.  “Fuck.”

“Yeah.  Fuck.  And she’s upset cause we’re fighting.”

“And that’s my fault, too, I suppose.”

“It’s not my fault.”  Sid flops down on the couch next to Jamie. 

“It is your…”

“No.  It’s our fault.”  Sid corrects him.  “We’re both at fault.  I’m sorry.  I should have respected your feelings about Andy.”

“Yes.  You should have.”  Jamie smirks.  Sid glares.  “Okay.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t be upset over him being on your line instead of me.  There, I said it, okay.  Yes, I’m a jealous bastard.  But I learned from the best.”

“I don’t get jealous.”  Sid scoffed, holding his hand to his chest and looking offended.

“My ass, Crosby.”  Jamie got up and moved to sit on Sid’s lap, straddling his thighs and facing Sid.  He draped his arms over Sid’s shoulders.  “Is she okay?”

“She was upset.  I told her it was all okay.  I’m not mad at you.  We’re not fighting.”

“I’ll make sure I talk to her tomorrow.”

“And?”

“And…”  Jamie let his head drop back and rolled his eyes, groaning loudly.  “And, I’ll apologize to that Swiss asshole.”

“You won’t use that term around Kylie, please.  She repeats everything you say, ya know.”  Sid pleaded.

“She does not.”

“She calls Alex that fucking Russian.”

“Yeah, but it’s said with love.”  Jamie laughs.  He tips his head forward and let’s his forehead touch Sid’s.  “I’m sorry.  It was wrong to spy on him.  And it was wrong to use Kylie to do it.  But I had to find out if he was a problem, okay.”

“Not an excuse.  But okay.”  Sid whispered, brushing his lips against Jamie’s.  “I forgive you.”

Jamie melts into the kiss, bringing his hand up to cup the back of Sid’s head and draw him closer.  They sit there, just kissing for several minutes until Sid pulls back.

“So, does this mean I get make-up sex?”  Sid waggles his eyebrows and winks.

“Nope.  No nookie for you.”  Jamie laughs and climbs off Sid’s lap.

“What the hell?  I said I was sorry.”

Jamie holds up his wrist and points to his watch with his other hand.  “After midnight.  Game day.”

Sid lets his head lull back on the couch and stares up at the ceiling.  “Ah, fuck.”


	6. A Plan Takes Shape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie keeps talking. Telling them about how well they are doing and that he’s glad they’re both staying in Pittsburgh. Dillon keeps talking, as if he’s translating. Jamie just nods along. Even though he knows Québécois, Dillon and Andy are speaking more true French and they are speaking it very fast. Jamie’s not paying enough attention to catch too many words.
> 
> “So. I’m sorry, too. I was rude the other day also.” Dillon dips his head sheepishly.
> 
> “Huh?”
> 
> “We are both going to be staying here. And well, yes. I’m much more used to getting around a big city. Pittsburgh is a lot like Toronto. Maybe, maybe we could go exploring the city together? Yes?” Dillon says. “I think we’d have fun. If you still want to.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to ask Tommy to do this.”

“No.  He’s not going to be any help.  I asked him how to say I’m sorry in German.  He said Ich bin ein Arschloch.  I said it to Kylie and she laughed her ass off.  That’s I’m an asshole, not I’m sorry.  Fucker.“ Sid chuckled to himself.  Yeah, Tommy would do that to Jamie. “Did Kylie tell you the right words?” “Es tut mir Leid, she said.  It’s just easier to get Dillon to do it.“ “I don’t know.  I could try.  You speak enough French that you could do it.”  Sid reasoned. 

“Look, this is perfect.  He speaks French.  Dillon can translate just fine.”  Jamie smirks.  “It’s all part of the plan, Sid.”

“Yeah, about that.”

“Don’t start again.”

“I’m just sayin’, you shouldn’t get involved.  Let things be, for now.”  Sid warns.

“I’m on this.  Stop worrying, okay.”

It’s taken a week for Jamie to get around to apologizing to Andy.  He’s used excuse after excuse to avoid it.  Sid hoped it was because Jamie was waiting for either Dillon or Andy to get sent down, so he wouldn’t have to apologize.  Sid knew that it was because Jamie was plotting on how to get the two rookies together.  Sid had seen him with Flower on several occasions, plotting with the master he was sure.

“So, you’re gonna do this today.”  Sid asks.  “When we get to the hotel this afternoon.”

“That was the plan.  Pay a visit to their room.”  It was convenient that the rookies were rooming together on the road.

“That’s my plan.”  Jamie says.

Sid sighs.  This has disaster written all over it.

\-----------------------------------------------------

“So, I just want to say I’m sorry for something that happened when you guys came to dinner.”  Jamie starts, sitting on the edge of one of the beds.  Andy and Dillon sit side-by-side on the edge of the other bed.  “Kylie, well, she sort of speaks several languages.  She hangs out with her uncles… way too much… yeah, anyway.  She knows German.”

Dillon stares at Jamie for a minute before he translates.

“I heard something about you and I sort of needed to figure out if it was true.”  Jamie continues.

_“He was spying on you.  Because of something I said to him.”_

_“What?”_   Andy looks a little stunned.  “ _What did you say?”_

“Anyway.  The rumor I heard wasn’t true.  So.  I just.  I just wanted to apologize for that.”

 _“I thought I heard you say something.  About hating gay people.  I’m sorry.”_   Dillon tells him.

 _“Huh?  No.  I would… no I would never say that.”_   Andy’s face contorts in distress.  _“No wonder he hates me.”_

Jamie wasn’t really paying attention, because Dillon was translating as Jamie was talking.  He saw the distressed look on Andy’s face, however.

“What did he say?”

“He said Tommy told him you are just an asshole and not to worry about you.”  Dillon says, dead serious.

“He did?  Jesus.  Am I really that bad?”

“No.  Well, yes.  You can be.  We’re learning to deal with it.”  Dillon smiled at him, then he turned his attention back to Andy.

 _“You wouldn’t?”_  He asks.  _“I could have sworn that’s what I heard you say something about them.”_

 _“No.  Never.”_   Andy crosses his heart.  _“I don’t think that way about them.”_   He turns to Jamie and in broken English, apologizes.  “I’m not saying bad thing.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.  Just a big misunderstanding.”  Jamie assures him.

“ _He said not to worry about it.”_   Dillon translates.

“Kylie may have overheard you say something to your mom.  About liking someone.  And, well it’s none of my business, but I think you should go for it.  Just ask him out.”  Jamie goes on.

 _“What’s he saying?”_ Andy tips his head.

 _“The little girl.  She knows German.  She was listening in to your phone call. And…”_ Dillon stops.  It’s his turn to be surprised.  Jamie said to ask him out.  Him.  Had he read Andreas wrong?

 _“And?”_ Andy asks.  _“What?”_

_“Nothing.  He just wants to say he’s sorry.  He shouldn’t have been spying.”_

_“Okay. Again, tell him no problem.  If he thought I didn’t like gay teammates, I guess he had a reason to be an asshole.”_ Andy turns and smiles at Jamie, nodding his head.

Jamie keeps talking.  Telling them about how well they are doing and that he’s glad they’re both staying in Pittsburgh.  Dillon keeps talking, as if he’s translating.  Jamie just nods along.  Even though he knows Québécois, Dillon and Andy are speaking more true French and they are speaking it very fast.  Jamie’s not paying enough attention to catch too many words.

 _“So.  I’m sorry, too.  I was rude the other day also.”_   Dillon dips his head sheepishly.

_“Huh?”_

_“We are both going to be staying here.  And well, yes.  I’m much more used to getting around a big city.  Pittsburgh is a lot like Toronto.  Maybe, maybe we could go exploring the city together?  Yes?”_ Dillon says.  _“I think we’d have fun.  If you still want to.”_

 _“I think that would be great.”_   Andy beams at him.

They turn back to Jamie as he’s finishing up his speech.  “Okay, well, I’m glad we talked and got things all straightened out.  Better for the team if we all get along, right.  So, we’re all good?”

“Alles gut.”  Andreas smiles.  “Good.”

“Yes, all good.”  Dillon smiles as well.  “Thank you.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It went well.”  Jamie worms his way under Sid’s arm, so he can snuggle against him, his head resting on Sid’s chest.

Sid ignores him and keeps reading his book.

“Dillon translated.  Andy said it was okay.  All good.”  Jamie poked at Sid’s side.  “See, and you were worried.”

“Uh huh.  This can still go wrong.”  Sid finally gives in and lifts his arm.  He sets his book down on the table next to the bed.  “You’re playing with fire.”

“Pppshhaaahhh...”  Jamie says.  “They make a cute couple.  We know Andy likes Dillon.  And, I’m pretty sure Dillon likes Andy.”

“From a week of watching them together.  You can tell all that.”

“Yep.  I can.”  Jamie hummed happily.  “And isn’t it convenient they’ve decided to room them together on the road from now on.  It’s like they knew, too.”

“I’m telling you, this spells trouble.  You got lucky with Knuckles and Shears, now you think you’re the love guru.”

“Well, I’m at the least the fuck buddy guru.”  Jamie laughed.   “Speaking of fucking.  Don’t you owe me a make-up fuck?”

Jamie raised his head and lightly kissed along Sid’s jawline, working his way back to nibble at an earlobe.

“I think you already got that.  Wasn’t that what we did the other night?”

“No, no, I don’t think so.”  Jamie kissed down the line of Sid’s neck, stopping to suck and nip at the tender skin.  “That was just sex.  Yep.  So, you still owe me.”

“I thought it was the other way around.”  Sid pushed his head back, baring more of his neck for Jamie.  “I thought you were apologizing to me.”

“If that’s what you want.”  Jamie slid his hand under the bottom hem of Sid’s shirt and ran his fingers over the rippled muscle of his abs.

Sid’s phone chimed.  Once. 

“Ignore it.”

Then again.

“Fuckers. How do they know.”  Jamie complained when Sid shifted and reached for his phone.

“Dumo says they’re on their way over.  Going to order in tonight.  Said party is in our room.”

Jamie grabs Sid’s phone and types out a reply.

_Fuck off.  We’re busy.  Skipping dinner._

Sid snatches his phone back.  “Stop it.”

He erases Jamie’s message and types back a reply telling Brian to bring whoever wants to come.  It’ll most likely just be Hags, Tommy, and maybe Geno.  The kids might come, too.

“Ah, fuck.”  Jamie says as Sid climbs off the bed to straighten up the room and find the room service menu.

“Not tonight, baby boy.”  He laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to say before... the italicized conversations are in French...


	7. Edmonton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay. You want a stretcher?” Mitch motions to the bench.
> 
> “No. No.” Kylie’s in the stands. He can’t get hauled off the ice on a stretcher. He makes himself get up. He stays bent over though. Sid’s beside him, guiding him off the ice. He gets to the bench and is surrounded by coaches and trainers who manage to get him down the runway and to the locker room.
> 
> Sid watched until Jamie disappeared, then looked up in the stands to find Kylie. The seats where the three of them had been were empty. Sid knew they were on their way to Jamie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for injury - concussion

The Penguins roll through the end of October and into November riding a six-game win streak.  In the two weeks since he apologized to Andreas, the two rookies have gone out at least three times, including once on the road, by themselves.  His plan was coming together nicely, the friendship was growing.  It was time for phase two.

“You can’t just throw them together.”  He tells Sid on their drive to the airport.  “Not and hope it goes where you want.  You need to give it a nudge in the right direction.  Keep things moving, ya know.”

“You’ve been scheming with Flower again, haven’t you?”

Jamie grins.  Sid groans.

“So, what is phase two?”  Sid asks.

“Well, as far as I’ve been able to figure out, they’ve gone out.  Several times.  But, just like sight-seeing and stuff.”

“Yeah.  That’s what I’ve gotten from them, too.”

“Phase two gets them to date.  Like, a real date.  Romantic shit.”

“You mean you didn’t just tell Dillon to come out and say, so are we going to fuck or what?”  Sid turns to glance at Jamie, giving him a wink.

“Just cause that worked on you doesn’t mean it works on everybody.”  Jamie smiles back.  He reaches over the console, holding his hand palm up.  Sid takes it and laces their fingers together, then lifts Jamie’s hand and kisses the back of it softly.

“I think it would work.”

“Nope.  We need to be more subtle here, move slowly.  We rush this, they end up just being fuck buddies.  We want them to fall in love.”

“You can’t make two people fall in love.”

“You can.  If they don’t know they love somebody, you can point it out to them.”

“You’re sure that Dillon loves Andy?”

Jamie nods.  “Yep.”

“And Andy loves Dillon.”

“Yep.  It’s just a matter of getting them to see it.”

Sid groans again.

“Relax.  The masters are on the case.”

“That’s what worries me.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s their western Canada trip.  At almost two full weeks, it’s their longest road trip of the year.  Travel day to Vancouver.  Game day.  Fly out after the game to Edmonton.  Game day.  Travel after game to Calgary.  Off day in Calgary.  Practice day in Calgary.  Game day.  Fly out after game to Winnipeg.  Practice day in Winnipeg.  Game day.  Stay over in Winnipeg.  Travel day back to east coast.  Practice day in New York.  Game day against Islanders.  Stay over.  Game day against Rangers.  Fly home after game.

As a special treat, Luc and Diane are flying out with Kylie to go to the games in Edmonton and Calgary.  That’ll help the fact that it’s such a long trip.  Jamie likes to play in front of the crowd in Edmonton, who still consider him a hometown boy, but he’s glad they only do a west coast trip twice a year, unless they make the Cup final.  Jet lag sucks and there’s almost no way to avoid it.  No matter what the trainers say, your internal clock gets thrown out-of-whack.

Jamie thinks the date needs to happen on their off-day in Calgary.  As Sid’s busy hanging his travel suit, Jamie is researching restaurants in Calgary.

“Think Italian?”  Jamie says out loud.  “Or steakhouse?”

“You asking me?”  Sid pauses what he’s doing.  “I’m against this, remember.”

“Come on, help me out.  Which would you think is more romantic.  Italian, right?  Candlelight.  Music.  Nice.”

“I’d go for Italian.  You have no taste, you picked cheesesteak in Philly.”

“I’m cheap.”

“And easy.”  Sid grins.

“You know it.”  Jamie waggles his eyebrows.  “You wanna see just how easy?”

“Not really.  Tired.”  Sid yawns.  “Long flight.  Nap?”

“No nookie?”  Jamie frowns.

“No nookie.” 

“Damn.”  Jamie pouts.  He reaches down and slowly rubs over the material of his dress pants.  “You sure?”

“Yes.”  Sid says, slowly unbuttoning his dress shirt.

Jamie shifts himself around on the bed, resting his back against the headboard and spreading his legs out in a V.  He carefully undoes his belt, then the snap of his pants, and slides the zipper down.  He pulls his cock out, slowly jiggling it at Sid.

“But I didn’t wear any underwear.  Just in case you wanted to, ya know.”

“You didn’t?  Aw, my little boy scout.  Always prepared.”  Sid slips out of his shirt.  Instead of continuing to strip, he climbs on the bed and kneels between Jamie’s legs.  He leans forward and kisses the tip of Jamie’s nose before sitting back on his heels.

“So?”  Jamie grins.

“I suppose, a little playtime would be okay.”

“And you call me easy.”  Jamie laughs.

 

“I hate back-to-back games.”  Jamie groans as he walks to the locker room for the second period intermission.  “Who the fuck scheduled this shit.”

“They hate us.”  Brian says.

The Pens are down 3 – 0.  They are sluggish on their skates.  No zip.  Shots going wide or off the posts.  It’s been a long 40 minutes so far.

“Fucking Oilers.”  Dillon says, trailing behind them.

“You have no idea how much I do not want to lose to these assholes.”  Jamie says over his shoulder.

“We’ve still got 20 minutes.”  Brian says.  “We aren’t done yet.”

Jamie sits down in his stall with a loud thud.  He pulls his helmet off and tosses it on the ground.

“That’s right.  We’re not done yet.”

Sully gives them the standard get your heads out of your asses, simplify your game, play the right way speech.  Jamie takes it all in and lets it all go out.  He grabs a couple of protein bars and downs two Gatorades, then he sits with his eyes closed letting himself regroup.

The third period doesn’t start on a good note as fifteen seconds in McDavid scores. 

“Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuck.”  Jamie swears as he steps on to the bench and slams his stick on the floor.  He looks up into the stands where Luc, Diane and Kylie are sitting, about five rows behind the bench.  Kylie is shaking her head slowly.  Jamie shrugs and looks away.

“Even she knows.”  Sid says.  “We’re playing like shit.”

“What’s your suggestion, Captain?”  Jamie glares down the bench to where Sid’s sitting.

“We’re going to switch up lines.”  Sully says overtop of Sid’s response.  “Jamie, you’re going out with Sid, but on right wing.  Andy’ll stay on the left.”

Jamie twisted around to see if Sully was serious or had been joking.  Sully never joked.

“Don’t look at me like that.  You guys are up.  Get going.”  Sully barked.

Jamie went over the boards with Sid and Andy as Geno’s line came off.  He’s on his off side and it feels strange as they come down the ice, moving through the center with the puck.  He hangs at the blue line, dragging a foot to avoid the offside as Sid snaps the puck into the right corner.  Jamie gives chase.  He manages to get to the puck first and sends it around the boards to where Andy is waiting.  Andy snaps a pass across the center and Sid puts it in the net.

Well, at least it won’t be a shut-out, Jamie thinks as they celebrate the goal.

Two shifts later, Jamie is back defending in the Pens’ zone.  He goes after a blocked shot that careens around the glass and back out to the center of the ice.  He’s focused on the puck.  The hit lifts him off his feet and flips his legs in the air, bringing him down hard on the ice.  His head bounces off the ice.

Jamie rolls over and just stays there, on the ice, trying to get his bearings.  The play goes on around him as the Pens clear the puck and play moves to the other end of the ice.  He pushes himself up on to his hands and knees and tries to straighten.  He needs to find his stick.  When he opens his eyes to look for it, everything starts to spin and a wave of nausea washes over him.  He clenches his eyes shut and fights down the bile in his throat.  This is not good. 

He’s hurt.  He’s supposed to signal to the trainers, to the officials.  How?  What’s he supposed to do?  He can’t get his brain to work.  Fuck.  Then he hears the whistle finally stopping play.  He crosses his arms in front of his face and bends forward, resting his head on them.  Breathe.  Just breathe, his brain says.

“Jame?”  Mitch, the new head trainer that took over when Stewie retired at the beginning of the season, bends over Jamie.  “You with us?”

“Yeah.”  Jamie answers weakly.  “Just… just need a minute.”

“Okay.  No problem.”  Mitch says.  “Run the drill with me.  Hands?”

Jamie lifts his head enough to shake his gloves off.  That’s what he’s supposed to do.  Drop his gloves.  That means he’s not okay.

“Jamie?”  Mitch says.

“Yeah.  Okay.  Legs okay.”

“Any numbness?  Tingling?”

“No.  No.  I’m okay.”  Jamie says, trying to straighten.  He opens his eyes and the nausea returns.

“Okay.  Let’s get you up.”  Mitch takes Jamie’s arm.  “Lean on me.”

“Gonna…”  Jamie swallows hard several times, fighting down the nausea.  “Fuck.”

“What?”

“Feel sick.”

“Okay.  You want a stretcher?”  Mitch motions to the bench.

“No.  No.”  Kylie’s in the stands.  He can’t get hauled off the ice on a stretcher.  He makes himself get up.  He stays bent over though.  Sid’s beside him, guiding him off the ice.  He gets to the bench and is surrounded by coaches and trainers who manage to get him down the runway and to the locker room.

Sid watched until Jamie disappeared, then looked up in the stands to find Kylie.  The seats where the three of them had been were empty.  Sid knew they were on their way to Jamie.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

“He’s with the doc.”  Luc tells him.  “They wouldn’t let us see him.”

Kylie’s in his arms, head on his shoulder.  When she sees Sid approaching, she raises up and reaches out for him.  Sid lets her wrap her legs around his middle and her arms around his neck.  She buries her head against his shoulder, hiding her face from the world.

“Daddy’s fine, Sunshine.  I talked to Mitch already.”  Sid hugged her tight, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down her back.  “He’s okay.”

“What’d he say?”

“Concussion.  By the time they did all their tests, he was feeling better.  He still has a headache, though, and given his history they’re being cautious with him.”

“Makes sense.”  Luc nods his head.  “They going to let him fly down to Calgary tonight?”

“No.  He and I are staying over.  I’ll fly down tomorrow, but they’re sending him home I think.  At least that’s the plan if the symptoms don’t clear up overnight.  I don’t think they’re going to.”  Sid said solemnly.  He gave Kylie a kiss on the temple and patted her back.  “How bout you go back to the hotel with Grammie and Grandpa.  Daddy and I will text when we get there, and you can come see him, okay?”

“Kay.”  She sniffled. 

Sid handed her back to Luc, gave her another kiss and hugged Diane.  He waved as they walked away, Kylie waving back over Luc’s shoulder.  Then, Sid turned and went to see about Jamie.


	8. The Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you sure about this?” Kris stares across the table at Sid, not sure he heard him right.
> 
> “I think so.” Sid says slowly.
> 
> “I don’t think you’ll be happy.” Flower looks as surprised as Kris.
> 
> “You’re both doing okay. Did okay. When you decided to retire.”
> 
> “We’re not you.” Flower states. “I’m older, too. Was older. For a goalie.”
> 
> “I would still be playing. If I had the option.” Kris says. “I don’t think I was ready. But Cath was. I couldn’t do it to her any more. Make her worry every time I got hit or had a new ache or pain.”

“Sssshhhh…  Daddy’s sleeping.”  Kylie whispered as she met Sid at the door.

Sid bent and picked her up into his arms, hugging her tight and pressing loud smooches against her neck which made her giggle loudly.

“Sssshhhh….”  He said.  “Daddy’s sleeping.”

“Daddy’s not sleeping.”  Jamie said as he walked into the entranceway.  He wrapped Sid and Kylie in a hug and gave Sid a quick kiss.  “Welcome home.”

“Not quite.”  Sid said.  He was picking them up from Luc and Diane’s.  Sid’s flight from New York had gotten in late and instead of keeping Kylie waiting up for him, he’d decided to just get them the next day. 

“Close enough.”  Jamie smiled. 

“How’re you feeling?”  Sid let Jamie slip his arm around his waist and guide them to the living room.  Kylie stayed in Sid’s arms, hugging him tightly.

“Feel fine.”  Jamie said.  “No problems.  I could have stayed with the team.”

“Is that right, Sunshine?  Or is Daddy fibbing me.” 

“He’s had a headache every day.”  Kylie ratted Jamie out.

“Hey, whose side are you on?”  Jamie acted hurt.

“Papa’s.  Cause I don’t like you being hurt.”

“That’s my girl.”  Sid kissed her cheek.  “We need to protect Daddy from himself, don’t we?”

“Yep.”  Kylie giggled.

“Where is everybody?”  Sid asked.

“Luc and Diane went to the store.”  Jamie replied.  “Just us here.”

“You hungry?  Daddy and I can make breakfast.”  Kylie questioned.  “Pancakes.”

“Pancakes sound great.”  Sid turned and walked towards the kitchen instead.  “How bout you and I make them for Daddy, though.”

Sid noticed Jamie rubbing his eyes, then his temples.

“Maybe you should go lie down.  We’ll bring breakfast to you.”

“I’m fine.”  Jamie sat down at the table.  “I’ll just watch from here.”

It wasn’t long before Jamie got up, made his way to a drawer and opened it.  He took out a bottle of pills, opened it and dropped two into his palm.  He put the rest away and got a bottle of water out of the fridge.  Sid watched intently as Jamie took the pills and then walked towards the doorway.

“Think I will go lay down for a bit.” 

Sid looked at Kylie who gave him a worried look in return. 

“This what you meant?”  He asked her.

“Yep.”  She said.  “He thinks he’s okay.  Grandpa Luc yelled at him a few times when he tried to do stuff.”

“Well, I’m home for a few days.  I’ll make sure he behaves.”  Sid smiled at her.  “Now, how bout a Mickey Mouse pancake?”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you sure about this?”  Kris stares across the table at Sid, not sure he heard him right.

“I think so.”  Sid says slowly.

“I don’t think you’ll be happy.”  Flower looks as surprised as Kris.

“You’re both doing okay.  Did okay.  When you decided to retire.”

“We’re not you.”  Flower states.  “I’m older, too.  Was older.  For a goalie.”

“I would still be playing.  If I had the option.”  Kris says.  “I don’t think I was ready.  But Cath was.  I couldn’t do it to her any more.  Make her worry every time I got hit or had a new ache or pain.”

“That’s how I feel.  This is his third bad head injury.  What if?”  Sid shakes his head and looks down at his plate, unable to finish that thought.

“How’s he doing?  It’s been a week and he’s not back on the ice yet.  That’s not good.”  Flower pushes the hashbrowns on his plate around.

“Headaches.  He’s still having headaches and the doc won’t let him do anything.  He’s going stir-crazy at this point.” 

“Physically?”  Kris asks.

“Tests all clear.  Nothing.  Wondering if it’s his neck.”  Sid answers.

“Massage?  Chiropractor?”  Flower suggests.

“They say no.  Not yet.  Just rest for now.”

“And?”  Kris reads that there is more.”

“And… I’m worried he’ll just say he’s okay, even if he’s not, to get back on the ice.”

“And?”  Kris pushes.

“I used to think I’d play forever.  Be Jagr, ya know.  Well into my forties before I retired.  Now.  I have a future that isn’t all about hockey.  I have Kylie.  I have Jamie.  I want to have a future with them.”

“Our boy has grown up.  Look at him being all adult.”  Flower nudges Kris’ leg under the table.  “Thinking about someone besides himself.”

“Rude.”  Sid says, making a face at Flower.  “This is me.  Not Jamie.”

“Rude?”  Flower scoffs.  “Truth hurts, doesn’t it.”

“I think what Flower is trying to say in his usual Flower way is that we thought you’d play forever, too.”

“I want him to think about retiring now, too.  Before… before something worse happens.”  Sid sighs.  “But I don’t see that happening.”

“Have you talked to him about this?”  Kris asks.

“I tried.  Sort of.  He brushed it off.”

“Were you direct?”

“Well… no.  I started talking about how it would be nice to go to the island for a month or two at a time.  How we could winter down there someday.”

“He didn’t like that idea?”  Flower questioned.  “I’d do that.  In a heartbeat.”

“He just said, someday, and walked away.”

“Sounds about right.”  Kris smirked.

“You get it, Tanger.  Why I’m worried.  It’s the same thing Cath probably said over and over again.”

“I want you to be here when you get older.  I want you to know who I am and who our kids are and who you are.”  Kris said flatly, emotionlessly.

“That’s it.  That’s the fear.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, Jamie got the okay to come to Cranberry to meet with the medical team.  He’d been headache free, so he claimed, for a whole 30 plus hours.  Sid was skeptical.

Jamie met with Mitch first, who put him through the concussion follow-up drill.  Then he met with one of the team doctors, Dr. Marino, who’s only been with UPMC for a couple of years.  That worries Sid.  A new trainer, a fairly new doctor.  They might not be able to see through Jamie’s subterfuge if he is trying to hide something.

Sid’s just coming in to the locker room to change into his gear after warming up on a bike.  Jamie already has his equipment on and is in a no-contact jersey.  He’s just lacing up his skates.

“You got the go ahead?”  Sid questions.

“To skate.  Yeah.  See how it goes.”

Sid shakes his head wearily.

“What?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“But you’re thinking it.”  Jamie huffs.  “I swear, Sid.  No headache since Tuesday.  I’m fine.  All better.”

Jamie sits up quickly and Sid is sure he sees him wobble a little, as if the sudden movement threw him off balance.  But just as quickly, Jamie is up and out the doors to the ice.  Sid sits down and thinks about what his next move is going to be. 

He’s pretty sure he’s made up his mind. 

Jamie skates by himself the next day as well, before the pre-game skate.  He wants to play that night, but they won’t let him until he takes some contact.  The Pens are scheduled to fly out the next day for a three-game road trip.  Jamie will be traveling with them.

He and Sid don’t talk about it.  Sid’s tried to voice his concerns, but Jamie’s deflected every single one.  Always there is some reason, some explanation that what Sid thinks he’s seeing or reading into a situation isn’t real.  Always come the ‘I’m fine’ comments.  Always comes the ‘but that’s not me’ when Sid brings up other players and concussions.  Even when Sid tries to talk about how he worries about himself, Jamie changes the topic. 

Avoidance. 

Denial.

Finally, Sid gives up.  He’ll wait until the end of the season.  Then Jamie will have to listen, because what will be, will be at that point.


	9. Secrets and Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Look at me.” Sid steps in front of Jamie, baring his way to the door. He stares up at Jamie’s eyes. Jamie glares down at Sid. “They didn’t go away, did they.”
> 
> Jamie huffs, but he keeps his stare fixed on Sid’s. Sid doesn’t blink, doesn’t waiver. He counts to himself. One second. Two. Three. Four. Five. Jamie dips his head and looks away.
> 
> “No.” Jamie says under his breath.
> 
> “What was that?”
> 
> “No. I’m still having headaches. But they aren’t as bad, and not all the time.”

“Are there any good date places in Buffalo?”  Jamie asks on the way to the airport.  “I need to get operation rookies in love back on track.”

“Operation what?”  Sid laughs.  “Seriously?”

“My plan got interrupted.  So, is there?  I can’t think of anywhere.”

“Send them for wings.”  Sid says.  “Isn’t that the Buffalo thing to do?”

“That’s not very romantic.”

“You could send them up to the falls.”

“Hmmm….”  Jamie hums.

“I’m kidding.”

“Yeah.  Not enough time for that.”  Jamie says in all seriousness.  “I was thinking just for dinner tonight.  I’d make a suggestion.”

“I thought there was a team dinner tonight.”

“There is?”

“That’s the notice I posted this morning.  Per Sully.”

“Well, crap.  That messes with my plan.”

“Did you notice anything odd about them at practice?”  Sid glances over at Jamie who is intently typing away on his phone.

“Like?”  Jamie responds without looking up.

“They were, I don’t know, kind of distant from each other?  Like not talking?”

“Didn’t notice.”  Jamie looked up to see where they were.  He turned to look at Sid.  “You think there’s trouble in paradise already?”

“I didn’t know they were in paradise yet.”

“Did either of them ask for a new room assignment?  What could have happened in a couple of weeks?  Are you sure?  Were they fighting?  Or just not talking?  Inquiring minds need to know, Sid.”  Jamie rattles off the questions at lightning speed, not giving Sid a chance to answer.  “Never mind.  It’s all good.  If they are fighting, I’ll get them back together in no time.  Smooth things over.  The master has this.”

“Gawd.”  Sid groans.  “Don’t push this, okay.”

“What’re you worried about?”

“I just.  You don’t know them that well.  Not like Flower or you knew Knuckles and Shears.  Just.  I’d just go slow, okay.  Don’t rush anything.”

“Relax.  All’s good.  Trust me.”  Jamie holds his hands up, cupped together.  “It’s in good hands, baby.”

Sid sighs.  Like with other things, Jamie isn’t getting Sid’s worries.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

They win in Buffalo and fly out after the game for Detroit.  It’s another back-to-back on the road.  Yeah, the league scheduler must hate them, they all think.  They get in and settled in the hotel around 1:30 am.  Jamie is up and off for a run with Brian at 5 am.  Sid doesn’t know how he does it.  He just rolled over, mumbled a be safe, and hugged Jamie’s pillow.  He thinks he was back asleep before Jamie was even out the door.

The next time he wakes, he hears the shower.  He rolls over on his back, stretches his arms and legs out and yawns.  He looks at the clock by the bed, 7:00.  Time to get up.  Sid slowly drags himself out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom.

After a number of years together, bathroom privacy becomes a non-entity.  Sid goes about his morning routine.  Jamie doesn’t even blink an eye as he steps out of the shower to find Sid sitting on the toilet.  He just grabs a towel, bends and gives him a quick kiss, and leaves to dry off out in the main room.

There’s no game-day skate today, but there is a team breakfast and optional off-ice workout.  Sid will work out.  Jamie will most likely skip it.  He’s sitting on the bed texting when Sid comes out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. 

“Plotting?”

“Yeah.  Flower said the same thing you did.  That they may have had a disagreement about something.”

“Uh oh.  What’d he say?”

“That they didn’t sit together on the bus or plane last night.  I didn’t even pay attention.  I had…”  Jamie pauses.  “I just didn’t notice.”

Sid starts to ask but stops.  He can see it on Jamie’s face, so it comes out as a statement not a question.

“You had a headache.”

“No.”  Jamie lies.  “I had other things on my mind.  I was texting Kylie, she stayed up after the game.”

“You know I can check out that lie pretty easy.”

“I was texting her.”  Jamie huffs.  “I’m not lying to you.”

“No.  I meant about the headache.”  Sid walks over and picks up his phone.  He types out a text and waits.  A few seconds later he gets a response.

 _Headache._ Followed by several checkmarks.

“Fuck Dumes.  Rat bastard.”  Jamie swears when Sid shows him the text.  “You have him spying on me?”

“Just concerned about you.  Since you don’t seem to care about yourself.”

“Right.  Whatever.”  Jamie gets up.  “I’m heading down.”

“Not gonna wait for me?”  Sid knows the answer that’s coming.

“Fuck you.”

Yep.  There it is. 

“You know, if I say something, they’ll scratch you tonight.”

“Then you better not say anything.”

“Look at me.”  Sid steps in front of Jamie, baring his way to the door.  He stares up at Jamie’s eyes.  Jamie glares down at Sid.  “They didn’t go away, did they.”

Jamie huffs, but he keeps his stare fixed on Sid’s.  Sid doesn’t blink, doesn’t waiver. He counts to himself. One second.  Two.  Three.  Four. Five.  Jamie dips his head and looks away.

“No.”  Jamie says under his breath.

“What was that?”

“No.  I’m still having headaches.  But they aren’t as bad, and not all the time.”

“What the fuck, Jamie.  What haven’t you learned from before.  You don’t fuck around with a concussion.”

“It’s not…”

“It is.  It’s another serious fucking concussion.  Three Jamie.  This is three.  Don’t you think you should be taking this seriously?  What if… what if you had another bleed?  What if you got hit again before this one was better?  Compounding them is the worst thing you can do.  Jesus fucking Christ, I knew it.  I knew you fucking lied to them.”  Sid goes off on him.

“You can’t say anything.”  Jamie retorts.  “Please, Sid.  I’m fine.  It’s just a headache.”

“There is no such thing as just a headache.  Not after the hit you took.  God dammit, Jame.  This is what I’ve been trying to fucking tell you.  This.  This is why I’m gonna…”

“Please, Sid.  Please don’t say anything.”  Jamie pleaded.

“Fine.  You know what.  I’m done.  If you don’t care, then neither do I.  You do what you want.”

Sid grabbed the clothes he’d laid out on the extra bed and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.  Jamie stood there for a few minutes before he left to go down to breakfast.

Jamie took his pre-game nap in Brian’s room.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie keeps looking at Sid nervously as they change out of their suits.  They haven’t talked since their argument that morning.  Their teammates know something is wrong, but not what, not even Brian, who’d tried to get Jamie to open up all day.

Sid got changed first and went off to start his pregame routine – a warm-up, pb&j sandwich, tape sticks.  Jamie held his breath, expecting Sid to go to the coaches’ office instead of to warm-up.  When he didn’t, Jamie relaxed and finished changing.

Jamie went about his routine, still worrying that Sid would say something about the headaches.  Eventually, he couldn’t stand it and he went to confront Sid.  He was probably the only person who could get away with interrupting Sid’s ritual.  But even at that, he gets a lot of daggers as he approaches Sid.

“Are you gonna say something?”

“About?”  Sid doesn’t look up from his stick, concentrating on the tape, wrapping it slowly around the blade.

“Are you gonna say something to Doc?”

“Nope.  Told you, I’m done.  You do what you want.”

Several minutes of strained silence pass.  Jamie scuffs his foot on the floor.  His head has been down, not looking up, not looking around.  He sighs heavily and gets up.  He walks away without either of them saying anything else.

Sid finished taping his sticks, then he just sat there, staring out at the ice.  He’s lived with Jamie for a long time now.  He’s ridden the emotional ups and downs.  He knows what to expect, how Jamie is.  And why.  But this is different.  This is their future.  He can’t just sit back and not do anything, regardless of what he just told Jamie.  He stands slowly, picks up his sticks and walks back towards the locker room.

Jamie isn’t in his stall.  Isn’t anywhere to be seen.  All the eyes in the room are kept down, avoiding looking at their captain.  You could hear a pin drop in the normally bustling pre-game locker room.  There isn’t even music playing.

“Did someone die?”  Sid stands in the middle of the room.  “Hello?  Dumo, where are the tunes?”

“We thought… maybe…” Brian hesitates.  “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, he…”

“He what?”

Brian nodded towards the changing room.  Sid walked that way, expecting to see Jamie.  Instead he saw an empty stall.  Jamie’s stuff gone.

Brian came up behind Sid.  “He scratched himself tonight.  Told Doc and Sully he was still having issues.”

“He?”

“Then he left.”  Brian continued.  “Said he was going back to the hotel.”

Sid wondered if Jamie would still be there when he got there after the game.

\------------------------------------------- 

Sid slid the key card in the reader and pushed the door handle down when the green light came on.  He was glad they had opted to stay over in Detroit again instead of flying out after the game.  The team had made arrangements to practice here tomorrow and then fly to Columbus for the last game of the road trip.  Sid was tired.  They game hadn’t been overly physical, a 2-1 win over the Red Wings, but mentally he was exhausted.  He’d had a hard time focusing on the game because his mind kept going to Jamie.

He had no idea what he’d be coming back to tonight.  Would Jamie be waiting?  Would he have gone to Brian’s room?  If he was here, would he be waiting up?  Asleep?  Would he want to talk? 

Sid pushed the door open and stepped into the dimly lit room.  There was a night-lite on in the bathroom, but that was it.  He waited for his eyes to adjust.  There was a large Jamie sized lump in the bed, covered by the sheets and bed cover which were pulled up over his shoulders.  He was on his side with his back to the door.

“You awake?”

No answer.

Sid took his time getting ready for bed.  He stripped out of his suit, hung his jacket and pants carefully in the closet.  He brushed his teeth, went to the bathroom, and then finally climbed in next to Jamie.  He propped himself up on his elbow and leaned over Jamie’s shoulder to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“I know you’re not sleeping.”  Sid whispered in his ear.

“Fuck off.”

“If you want to.”  Sid nuzzled against Jamie’s cheek.

“Go away.”

Sid rolled away and laid down on his back. 

“Why?  Why is it so important to play?”  He wanted to add ‘this time’ but didn’t.

“It’s not.”  Jamie huffed.  “That’s why I wasn’t there.  Obviously.”

“I just don’t understand, Jame.  I don’t understand why you’d risk your future.  Our future.”  Sid put his hands behind his head, elbows out to the side.  Jamie rolled over on his back next to him.

“It isn’t.  You’re right.  But it is.  Playing is my future, too.  Our future.”

“Playing hurt?  That doesn’t do anybody any good, baby boy.  I thought you’d have figured that out by now.”

“Why haven’t you signed an extension yet?”

“I don’t know.  Can’t reach an agreement.” 

“Don’t lie to me.”  Jamie sat up, twisting to glare down at Sid.  “I know what they offered.  It’s a great deal.  Why are you holding out?”

Because I’m not going to sign, Sid thought, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.  But that’s not what he said.

“I don’t know.  I didn’t think there was any rush.”

“Grummand won’t talk about my contract until you sign.”

“So that’s why you think you have to play?”

“Jesus Sid, they moved me down to the third fucking line.  In a contract year.  What do you think?  How do you think I should take that?”

“Sully doesn’t…”

“Don’t give me that bullshit.  It’s not Sully.  My guess is that I’m on the block, or else they don’t make an offer if you don’t sign.  Fuck.”  Jamie rubbed his hands over his face.  “I’m not sure they make an offer even when you sign.”

“They aren’t going to let you go.  That’s just crazy.”  Sid sat up and draped an arm over Jamie’s back, resting his head on Jamie’s shoulder.  “That’s seriously the problem?”

“I don’t want to give them any reasons to not sign me.  Fucking A, Sid.  I’ve been hurt a lot, fucking injury prone.  You know what that normally gets you, fucking traded.  But I’ve got this security shield, ya know, the Sidney fucking Crosby insurance policy.  What happens if I don’t have that.  And I’m hurt and can’t play.  Or I have a shitty year.  Or…”

“Or nothing, Jame.  Trust me.  You aren’t going anywhere, regardless of whether I play next year or not.”

“You don’t know that.”  Jamie pulled away.  “And what do you mean if you don’t play?  You’re gonna keep playing, right?”

Now.  Jamie picks this moment to grasp what Sid’s been trying to tell him for weeks.  Sid weighed his options at that moment.  Come right out and tell Jamie his plans?  That would mean a fight given Jamie’s current mood.  He wasn’t up to that right now. 

So, option two.  Lie.

“Yeah.  I’m gonna stick around.  Not ready to go just yet.” 


	10. Columbus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Holy shit!”
> 
> “Yeah, that didn’t go so well there, matchmaker. Wow.” Sid shook his head. “Why are you smiling? That was just… wow.”
> 
> “You didn’t see it?”
> 
> Sid tipped his head slightly, his brow creasing.
> 
> “Holy shit, Sid. They fucked.”
> 
> “What? No. They… no.” Sid stammered. “Why would you think that?”

Sid tossed his suitcase on the extra bed.  One more night on the road.  One more game.  Then they’d be home for a long stretch.   Being home would be good.  If Jamie was okay, he could talk to him about retiring together.  It would be easier at home.  He’d have help.  Support.  Kylie.  Luc.  Diane.  They’d all be on his side.  Jamie would have to listen to him.

Jamie put his suitcase on the bed next to Sid’s.  No point in unpacking anything.  This was their last night on the road.  He just needed to hang his suit up for tomorrow.  He opened the suitcase though and found his toiletry bag.  He took it and went to the bathroom, setting it on the counter.  When he came out, Sid was sitting on the edge of the bed.  Waiting.

“Ask.”  Jamie said.  “It’s been killing you.”

“Why?”

“Because it wasn’t worth you being pissed at me.”  Jamie stated matter-of-factly, then flopped down on the bed behind Sid.  He pulled a pillow out and rolled over on his side, tucking the pillow under his head.

“That’s why?”

“Yep.  That’s why.” 

Sid didn’t believe it was that simple. 

“How was skating this morning?”  He asked.

Jamie hadn’t practiced that morning, just skated by himself.  Most likely, he wouldn’t be playing in Columbus tomorrow night.  But at least he had traveled with the team instead of being sent back to Pittsburgh.  He guessed that was Sully’s doing.  It gave Sid and Jamie a little more alone time to work through whatever – Jamie – was the problem this time.

“It was fine.  Skating or not skating really doesn’t make much of a difference.  The headaches come and go.”

“Should you see somebody?”

“Like?”

“I don’t know.  Like the guys in Edmonton.”

“No.  Marcaziak isn’t Maroon.  I trust him.”  Jamie said.  “He says just rest.”

The first time he’d had a concussion in Pittsburgh, Jamie’d sought out treatment from a family friend, a head trauma specialist from Edmonton, because he didn’t like the way the UPMC doctors were treating him.  Of course, Jamie had been lying to them in order to get to play in the Stanley Cup Final.  Sid was just as happy now that Jamie didn’t feel the need to bring in an outside doctor again.  Maybe the lying had stopped this time.

“What you said last night.”  Sid pauses, hesitant to broach the subject again.  “About being worried about a trade.”

“I always worry about that.”

“Always?”  Sid stretches out on his side of the bed, facing Jamie.  “Really?”

“Janet and I talked about it.  She gave up and said it was just one of those things that would probably always stay with me.”

Sid reached out and brushed Jamie’s hair back off his forehead.  “Eye?”

“Mmmmmm…” Jamie hummed, closing his eyes so Sid could do the eye thing.  Sid rested his hand lightly on Jamie’s cheek.  He let his thumb stroke gently just under Jamie’s eyebrow, working from the bridge of his nose out.  The relaxation, headache relief taught to him by Geno.  Mama Malkin’s tried and true remedy.

“What exactly is the trade issue?  Don’t know that we’ve ever talked about that one.”

“I fuck up.  I get traded.  Or, well, something bad happens. Like a trade.”

“So, getting traded here was a bad thing?”  Sid kids him.

“Kind of, I mean, it could have been.  Anyway.  I fucked up.  Kicks got sent away.  I fucked up.  I got traded.  I fucked up.  James killed himself.”

“I’m betting Janet told you none of those things were your fault.  You didn’t fuck up.  Especially not in Anaheim.”

“I made waves.  Who’d you think was gonna take the hit, the rookie or the star.”

“You’re not a rookie anymore.”

“Yeah, well I’m not Sidney Fucking Crosby either.”

“No.  You’re Jamie Fucking Crosby.  Four-time Cup champion.  Alternate Captain.  You have almost as much hardware as I do, baby boy.  They’d be nuts not to keep you.”

“Yeah?  Think all that’ll get me a good deal somewhere when the Pens don’t resign me?”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“You keep saying that.  I’ll believe what I believe.”

“Janet said you were beyond hope with that?”

“Yep.  Deep rooted rational fear.”  Jamie opened his eyes and Sid’s thumb stopped its motion.  Sid cupped Jamie’s cheek.

“Irrational fear.  But that’s all in the eye of the beholder.  Isn’t that what you say?”

“My fears are perfectly rational.  Yours, however, are completely irrational based on fluky luck and superstition.”

“Whatever.”  Sid smiled.  Time to change the subject.  “Anyway.  How’s operation rookies in love going?”

Seven years of marriage, and they still haven’t covered all their issues.  Little bits come out here and there at this point.  Usually like now, after a fight or disagreement about something.  Usually when Jamie has done something.  It’s why Kris will politely remind Sid that he knows he has to back down.  It’s why Kris politely reminds Jamie he needs to talk to Sid about things.  Seven years.  And there is still so much going on that Sid doesn’t know about.

“It progresses.  We are going to dinner tonight.  With them.”  Jamie waited for the protest.

“We are?  Having us along kind of kills the romantic thing, doesn’t it?”

“Nah.  We’re the example of a happy couple.”  Jamie smiles.

“Are we?”  Sid’s brow furrows.  His body tenses as he watches Jamie ponder that question for several seconds.

“Just cause we disagree doesn’t mean we’re not happy.  Right?”

“Right.”  Sid relaxes.  There really wasn’t any doubt.  “Where are we going?”

“Mitchell’s.  Upscale but casual.”

“A steak place, I’m guessing.”  Sid smiled.  Jamie would take steak over most anything else.

“And seafood.  Menu looks awesome.”

“What time?”

“Six.”

Sid looks at his watch.  “We have lots of time, then.  And, it’s not a game day.”

“I don’t know.”

“Not up to a little fun?  Head?”

“No.  I just don’t know if I should reward you.”

“What did I do now?”

“Nothing.”  Jamie winked.

“Brat.”  Sid rolled and pushed himself up in one swift motion.  He pushed Jamie’s shoulders back, rolling him onto his back, and in the blink of an eye was straddling Jamie’s hips, his hands pinning Jamie’s arms to the bed.

“Well, since you put it that way.”  Jamie smirked, looking up at Sid.  “I think that you should work on sucking up to me.”

“I’ll give you some sucking up alright.”  Sid laughed.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Dinner was… interesting.

And, not at all what Jamie thought it would be.

The food was great.  The atmosphere great.  Very romantic, just the two couples at a secluded table.  The conversation was… strained.  Jamie and Sid did most of the talking.  Dillon translated some, but it was like it was a chore.  Eventually, he just stopped.  Which meant Sid and Jamie ended up just talking to themselves for most of the evening.

The ride back to the hotel was painfully silent, as was the elevator ride up to their floor.  Sid and Jamie dropped the two rookies off at their room, said good night and walked down the hallway.  They had no sooner gotten in the room and the door swung shut behind them before Jamie turned to Sid, a wide grin on his face.

“Holy shit!”

“Yeah, that didn’t go so well there, matchmaker.  Wow.”  Sid shook his head.  “Why are you smiling?  That was just… wow.”

“You didn’t see it?”

Sid tipped his head slightly, his brow creasing.

“Holy shit, Sid.  They fucked.”

“What?  No.  They… no.”  Sid stammered.  “Why would you think that?”

“Didn’t you see the way they kept looking at each other.  Jesus, Dillon kept blushing.  When he’d translate something, and Andy would say something back, Dillon would turn fucking bright red.”

“No.  Really?”  Sid hadn’t noticed that.

“Oh yeah.  And at one point, Andy had his hands under the table and Dillon jerked.  Like he was, um, taken by surprise.  Wonder where Andy’s hand was.  Shit yeah, Sid, they’re either fucking or fucked.  No doubt.”

“So why wouldn’t they talk?  It was just, wow, it’s easier getting you to talk about stuff that it was getting them to talk about anything tonight.”

“They’re trying to act like they don’t like each other.  Throw people off.  Don’t let the team know, don’t give them anything to be suspicious about.”

“You’re wrong.  There’s.  No way.”  Sid staggered out the words, each phrase edged with more doubt than the last.

“Oh yeah.  I’m sure.”  Jamie hummed happily.  “That makes my work easier.”

“Uh.  What if what you say is true.  They hooked up.  But.”  Sid starts to strip out of his suit.  “What if it didn’t, um, go well.  What if that’s the problem, that’s why they aren’t talking.”

Jamie froze, his face going blank, then contorting into a truly puzzled expression.  He hadn’t thought about that.  Finally he shrugged and shook his head.

“Nah.  It went well.  They just don’t want anyone to know.”

“Okay.  So how do we go about proving this theory of yours?”  Sid asked a short time later as they cuddled in bed, Sid spooned up behind Jamie. “I don’t think you can just come out and say, hey, did you two fuck or what?”

“No.  That wouldn’t go over well.  Have to be sneaky.  Observant.  Pay attention to how they are around each other.  Then, when I’m absolutely sure… wham… that’s when I say that.”

“So, you’re not sure now.  An hour ago you’d have bet you life on it.”

“Yeah, no, I’ve been thinking about what you said.  There’s always that chance.”

Sid nuzzled the back of Jamie’s neck.  “Please tread lightly here.  Just in case.”

“Trust me, Sid.  It’ll all be good.  Rookies in love is still a go.  I think they just jumped ahead of my schedule a bit.”


	11. It's Not Home Any More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie made several phone calls when they got home. He called Sully, and Bob Grummand. He was told to take whatever time he needed. Family always comes first with the Pens, and even though Sam wasn’t technically related to Jamie, he had been the closest thing to a grandfather Jamie had ever had in his life. Jamie called Brian, who’d met Sam and Delores several times when he’d traveled to the lake cabin with Jamie and Sid. Then he called Luc and Diane and told them. They knew Sam but hadn’t been close. Finally, Jamie bought his plane ticket to go to the funeral.

Jamie spent the next week doing what he was told, much to Sid’s amazement.  Morning off-ice, light workout and a little bit of time on the ice alone.  Time with the physical therapist, then a long, deep-tissue massage session.  Afternoon naps with Kylie, followed by a nice dinner and then movies or hockey games.  Kylie loved getting to watch the game from the press box with her daddy instead of sitting in Mario’s box with Luc and Diane.  They all made a fuss over her every time she was there. 

By the end of the week, the headaches were gone.  Really gone.  Jamie felt good.  Good enough that they let him take some contact.  The next day, he woke up a little sore, but no other ill effects.  He was cleared to play.  That didn’t make Kylie any too happy. 

She sat in the kitchen, on the island counter as Sid went about fixing breakfast.  Jamie was up taking a shower.

“When do you and Daddy have to go away again?”

“Not for a little bit.”  Sid answered.  They were in the middle of an eight-game home stand.  Their next away game wasn’t until after Thanksgiving.  “Why?”

“I wish Daddy could just stay home with me all the time.”

“Daddy?  What am I, chopped liver?”

“Huh?”  She tipped her head like a lost puppy.  “You’re not… chopped… um… chopped….”

“Liver.”  Sid laughed.  “I know, it’s just a saying.  You don’t want me around all the time?”

“I do!  I wish you were both here with me.  Every day!  All the time!”  Kylie exclaimed seriously.  “Then we could get a puppy!”

She immediately brought both hands to her face, covering her mouth, her eyes wide in horror.

“A puppy?  Who said we could get a puppy?”  As if he didn’t know.

Kylie shook her head back-and-forth rapidly, keeping her hands clamped over her mouth.

“Daddy told you that, didn’t he?”

Slowly the shaking turned to nodding.  Sid poked her sides, tickling her until she started laughing and squealing for him to stop.

“What’d he say?”  He kept repeating.

“I get a puppy!”  Kylie squealed.  “We’re going to get one from the shelter.  When you both don’t do hockey anymore.”

Sid quit tickling her and put his hands on either side of her face, he bent and kissed the top of her head.

“I won’t tell Daddy you told, but you can’t tell him either.”

“So, we can get a puppy?”

“Yep.  I think maybe we can get a puppy.  If you keep it a secret for now.”

She nodded eagerly, a smile spreading across her little face, green eyes sparkling.  Those damn green eyes, just like Jamie’s.  Yeah, she was Jamie’s, there was no doubt.  And Sid couldn’t be happier or love them both more.  He put the look on her face at the thought of getting a puppy and having her dads home all the time in the pros column on his retirement list. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morning skate went well, the press were all over Jamie being back with the team and taking full contact.  Sully still listed him as a game-time decision, but Jamie knew when they left PPG that he’d be starting that night. 

Sid was driving them home, Kylie sitting in the back in her booster seat, Jamie sitting beside her.  They were singing and dancing in their seats, making Sid giggle.  He doesn’t know how Jamie can make _Row Row Row Your Boat_ sound so sexy. 

Jamie’s phone rings and he looks at the caller ID.  He holds up a hand to shush Kylie for a minute. 

“Gotta take this baby girl.”  He tells her as he answers the phone.  “Hey, Sam.  Oh, sorry, hi Danny.  What’s… oh… no… you’re kidding…” 

Sid watches as Jamie’s face goes white and serious.  He’s nodding his head as he keeps talking.  This side of the conversation doesn’t sound good.  Finally, Jamie ends the call.

“That was Danny Stevenson.  Sam passed away last night.” 

“Oh, Jamie, I’m sorry.”  Sid looks at Jamie’s reflection in the rearview mirror.  “What happened?”

“Heart attack they think.”

“Grandpa Sam?”  Kylie asks quietly.

“Yep, honey.  He’s with Grammie Delores now.”  Jamie said, taking her small hand in his.  “So, we can’t be sad about it.  He had a very long, happy life.”

At five, she was starting to understand about death and dying.  Even with what Jamie said, tears formed in her eyes and started to run down her cheeks. 

“Hey, hey.  What’d I say.”  Jamie wiped the wet off her cheek. 

Sid knew this wasn’t good.  Kylie crying soon turned into Jamie crying with her.  That brought a tear to Sid’s eye.  It turned in to a long, sniffle-filled ride home.

Jamie made several phone calls when they got home.  He called Sully, and Bob Grummand.  He was told to take whatever time he needed.  Family always comes first with the Pens, and even though Sam wasn’t technically related to Jamie, he had been the closest thing to a grandfather Jamie had ever had in his life.  Jamie called Brian, who’d met Sam and Delores several times when he’d traveled to the lake cabin with Jamie and Sid.  Then he called Luc and Diane and told them.  They knew Sam but hadn’t been close.  Finally, Jamie bought his plane ticket to go to the funeral.

“You okay going alone?  I can take the time and go with you.”  Sid offered as he and Jamie settled in for their pre-game nap.  Kylie was already sound asleep, stretched out between them.

“Yeah.  It’s better if I just go.  You stay and play.”  Jamie said softly.  “I thought about taking her, but, I decided not to.  I’ll just go out for the funeral and come back.  Day out.  Day back.  Tops.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Yeah.  I’ll be fine.”  Jamie assured him.  “The weather’s liable to be shitty up by the lake this time of year.  I’d rather not have her along.  Driving could be, tricky, ya know.”

“Gotcha.  That makes sense.”  Sid agreed.  “Still, she could stay with her grandparents and I could go with you.”

Sid had gotten to know Sam and Delores over the years.  He had liked the older couple.  They were a big part of Jamie’s past, and he liked that connection.

“You don’t have to.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I’ll be fine.  Quick trip.”  Jamie rolled over, so his back was to Sid and Kylie.  “No problem.”

Sid closed his eyes and settled in for his nap.  Best to let Jamie deal with his grief in his own way.  He was just starting to drift off when he felt the mattress bounce a little as Jamie rolled over.

“Sid?”

“Hhhmmm, baby boy.”  Sid fluttered his eyes open.

“You wouldn’t mind going with me?”

“Nope.  If that’s what you want.”

“Pens wouldn’t have a problem with it?”

“Nope.  We’ll clear it with Bob tonight, okay.”  Sid reached over Kylie and brushed his hand over Jamie’s cheek.

“Okay.  Yeah.  That’d be good.  I think.  Yeah.  I’d like that.”

When they got up from their nap, Jamie changed to plane reservations to include Sid.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Welcome to Edmonton.  It’s a balmy negative nine out there today with a light snow fall.  That’s a cool 15 degrees Fahrenheit for all our visitors from the States,” the pilot announced as they taxied to the terminal.  “We hope you enjoyed your flight and thank you for flying Air Canada.”

Jamie and Sid waited for the okay, then got up and grabbed their bags from the overhead.  They filtered out of the plane and out into the terminal with the others.  They’re recognized by a few people and politely stop to sign autographs when asked.  Finally, they make their way to the car rental agency and pick up their SUV.

The light snow got heavier the further north they drove.  What normally was an hour and a half drive taking them well over two hours.  Jamie passed the time by telling Sid stories about Sam and Delores from summers past.

The lights are on in the little country store when they pull up in front.  Danny’s behind the counter as they step in, the warmth of the store a sharp contrast to the cold air outside.  The young man quickly steps around the counter to greet them, taking Jamie’s hand and getting pulled into a warm hug.

“I’m really sorry about Sam, Danny.  He was a great man.”

“Thanks, Jamie.”  Danny pulled back, he shook Sid’s hand.  “He always spoke so highly of you.”

“They were like family.”  Jamie smiled.  “You know how that goes.”

“Yeah I do.”  Danny dipped his head, a small smile coming to his lips.

Danny Stevenson had grown up in Smoky Lake.  His family didn’t have a lot, his father died in a logging accident when Danny was eight.  Danny’s mother cleaned houses to provide for Danny and his two older sisters.  When he was ten, Danny started hanging out around the store.  Soon, Sam had him helping, giving him small odd jobs.  Sam would pay him to sweep the floor, keep the shelves stocked and run deliveries to certain customers, paying him a dollar an hour.  Danny took the money home every day and gave it to his mother to help out.

When Danny was sixteen, his mother came down with influenza and died.  Danny was sure she had worked herself to death trying to take care of them.  His oldest sister, 22 at the time, was already married with two kids of her own.  His other sister, 19, lived with her boyfriend and worked as a housekeeper at a local motel.  Neither of them wanted to take Danny in, so he had been on his own.

When Jamie gave Sam and Delores money from the settlement with the insurance company over his parents’ accident, Sam knew right away what he wanted to do with it.  They could have retired on it.  They could have fixed up the store.  They could have traveled.

They gave it to Danny to pay for his college education.

Danny went to the University of Alberta and got a degree in accounting.  After graduating, he came back to Smoky Lake and went to work as a bookkeeper for several small businesses.  He also went back to helping out at the store on his free days.  It wasn’t long before he quit his accounting jobs and bought the store from Sam and Delores who had decided it was time to retire.

Unfortunately, Sam and Delores didn’t get many years to enjoy their retirement together.  Just a year later, Delores suffered a stroke and passed away.  Jamie and Sid had come to her funeral.  Sam had been lost.  Danny moved in with him to take care of Sam.  If Jamie was the grandson Sam and Delores never had, Danny was the son they never had.

Danny closed the store for the day and Sid and Jamie followed him to the house.  They would spend the night there, go to the funeral the next day, then drive back to Edmonton to catch a late flight home.  Danny had dinner cooking in a crockpot for them, beef stew, and had made fresh biscuits.  They sat in the living room eating and reminiscing about the couple that had meant so much to them.

“Excuse me a minute.”  Danny said, getting up and taking the empty bowls to the kitchen.  He came back with a pot of coffee and three cups.  He set the tray down on the coffee table and disappeared again for several minutes.  He returned carrying several scrapbooks.

“Sam wanted you to have these.”

“What are they?”  Jamie picked the top album up off the pile Danny sat in front of him.

Jamie flipped open the book and glanced through the first few pages.  It was a scrapbook about Bill, his adopted father.  There were clippings about Bill’s career as a hockey coach.  Photos and articles about his time with Team Canada and winning the gold at the 2002 Olympics.  Articles about his work to promote youth hockey in Edmonton.  Stories about the various community awards he’d been given over the years.

Jamie looked through the book page by page, taking it all in.

“He followed Bill’s career.  Then yours.”  Danny said, pointing at the other scrapbooks.

Jamie picked up the second book.  The first few pages were pictures of Jamie with Sam, taken every summer when the Marshes came to the cabin.  There were also pictures of Jamie and Kyle together in the store, including one from the last summer they came to the lake, for Jamie’s seventeenth birthday. 

There were newspaper clipping about Jamie’s hockey teams from his very first years playing.  Pages dedicated in the books to his NHL draft, playing for Anaheim and then getting traded to the Pens.  There was a photo of his first NHL goal.  Photos of each Stanley Cup win.  Photos of each award.  Everything up to the 2022 Olympic gold medal with Team USA.

Jamie stared at each page, each photo, each article in amazement.

“I can’t believe.  Wow.  This is overwhelming.”  Jamie said.  “Can you imagine?”

“You were pretty special to him.  He talked about you all the time.”  Danny smiled. 

“I never.  I mean, we loved coming to see them every summer.  Dad would drive us in from the cabin to get ice cream or groceries.  And, Sam always had a quarter in his pocket he’d give us.  We’d put it in the gumball machine and get out these giant gumballs.  Every time we came he’d do that.  He and Delores would come out and have dinner at the cabin with us.  I just always thought they were just good friends with my folks.  Cause they lived up here and took care of the cabin in the winter.”

Danny handed Jamie a small picture frame.  In it was a picture of a young Sam and a much younger Bill Marsh.

“You didn’t know.  Sam wasn’t from here.  He grew up in Edmonton.  Played hockey until he blew out his knee when he went into the boards awkward.  He tried coaching a few years.  That’s when he met your dad.  Bill was just starting out in his coaching career.”

“I had no idea.”  Jamie whispered.

“Sam decided that coaching wasn’t for him, he missed playing too much.  So, he and Delores moved up here and opened the store.  But he kept in touch with your dad.”

“I can’t.  I’d never heard any of that.”  Jamie looked over at Danny.  “How did you?”

“Sam told me.  Told me that when he died, he wanted you to have these.”

“Why would he never have told me any of this himself?  Why didn’t they ever talk about any of this? I can’t remember them ever talking about hockey at all.”  Jamie held up the photo.

“Your dad didn’t know about these.”  Danny pointed at the scrapbooks.  “Sam said that he never liked talking about his time playing and coaching.  Too much, I don’t know, too much sadness about not being able to play I think.  Your dad respected that he said.  But, even though he didn’t talk about hockey, he still did all this.  Followed your dad’s career.  Followed yours.”

Jamie was stunned.  He flipped through the book about Bill again, stopping to skim through a few articles.  Sid sat quietly at his side, watching for signs that this wasn’t okay, that it might trigger something bad for Jamie.  They sat up until the wee hours of the morning looking through the scrapbooks and remembering all the good times. 

Just about everyone in town attended the funeral service, Sid thought, a testament to the kind of man Sam was.  There was a luncheon afterwards, put on by Sam’s friends.  Sid and Jamie grabbed a quick bite, then hit the road back to Edmonton.  They had several stops to make before catching their flight.  Jamie had asked if they could stop at the cemetery where his mom and dad, as well as Kyle, were buried.  Then it will be a quick stop to check on the houses and finally, a stop at a shipping center to mail the scrapbooks back to Pittsburgh.

The snow had stopped, and the roads were in good shape as they drove south from Smoky Lake.  Sid drove, Jamie riding silently next to him.  Jamie had his hand resting on Sid’s leg, his thumb drawing lazy circles just above Sid’s knee.  Jamie’s got the thousand-yard stare going on as he watches the scenery out the side window.

“I’ve been thinking,” Jamie says after almost an hour of silence. 

“About?”

Jamie’s thumb movement changes as he taps it nervously against Sid’s leg.  When he doesn’t continue right away, Sid wonders if he’ll have to wait another hour to find out.  He doesn’t.  Only another few minutes pass before Jamie turns his attention to Sid.

“Home.”  Jamie sighs.  “This doesn’t feel like home any more.  And now, well, without Sam I don’t have any family ties here.”

“Okay.”

“It’s felt, strange.  I mean, I don’t feel like I belong here.  I feel strange, like a stranger.”  Jamie explained.  “Maybe.”  A heavier sigh.  “Maybe it’s time to move on.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Maybe.  Maybe we should sell the houses.”  Jamie says quietly.  “I just.  I don’t know.  I’ll probably always love Edmonton, it's a big part of my life, but it’s just not home now.  Pittsburgh’s home.”

Five years ago, Jamie made Sid buy Luc and Diane’s house when they moved to Pittsburgh.  Jamie also had never been able to part with Bill and Jean’s house, where he grew up.  Sid saw it for what it was, Jamie clinging to his past, to his last connections to his parents and Kyle and Cat.  Even if they never lived in either house ever again, or even stayed there when they came to Edmonton for a visit, Jamie could hold on to the fact that they were still there, and they were still his.

Sid was taken off-guard by Jamie’s suggestion, this had come out of left field.  Sid couldn’t help but wondering if this was fallout from the scrapbooks.  Was this the start of a downhill plunge on the Jamie depression ride?

“It hasn’t been home for a long time now.”  Jamie continued as Sid pondered the reason behind all this.  Sid thought about that statement.

Jamie had dutifully brought the Cup to Edmonton the first three times they won it.  But the last time, he spent his day with the Cup in Sewickley.  He took it to all his favorite spots and several nursing homes and the children’s hospital.  Sid and Jamie had thrown a Cup party at one of the city parks, and the community had its own Cup parade for the boys.  Jamie was right.  Pittsburgh and Sewickley were home now. 

This wasn’t a knee-jerk, emotional reaction.  This wasn't a step backward towards the dark days.  This was a step forward.  This was maybe, finally, Jamie putting his past behind him.  Letting go of the ghosts that haunted his dreams.

“What about the cabin?”

“Nah, Kylie likes coming to the big woods.  We’ll keep the cabin for a while, maybe until she’s grown up and leaves us.”  Jamie smiled. 

Sid reached down and took Jamie’s hand giving it a light squeeze.  “That day’s gonna come way to fast.”

“Yep.  Anyway.  I don’t know that I want to ride by the houses.  I think,” Jamie paused, taking a long deep breath and letting it out slowly, “I think I’d rather just let them go.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Yeah.  I’m sure.  I’ll call a realtor tomorrow.  And the Oilers’ front office, to let them know about that house.  Give them the option to buy it, or maybe one of their guys would want it.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Later, as the plane took off, taking them back home, Jamie sat by the window for a change.  He watched as the plane rose into the air and the lights of Edmonton disappeared below them.  He was glad to be going home, it had been a rough couple of days.  Saying good-bye is always hard.


	12. A Bump In The Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think you’re wrong. I really think they’ve had a falling out.”
> 
> “What makes you think that?” Jamie yelled out at him.
> 
> “Cause they asked to be roomed with different people this trip.”
> 
> Jamie appeared in the doorway, a confused look on his face, brow furrowed, lips pursed to the side.
> 
> “How do you know?”
> 
> “I was told. And, it was suggested that I have a chat with them to see if there is a problem.”

Speculation on the relationship between the two rookies was the talk of the team.  Flower had started a pool on when they would just come out and tell the team they were a couple.  Even though they acted like they were not anything more than casual friends, it seemed obvious to those surveilling their every move that something was going on with them.

Jamie had grilled Tommy.  Who had nothing.

Jamie had grilled Kris.  Who had nothing.

Other than rooming together on road trips, Dillon and Andy had pretty much quit hanging out together. 

“Why are you so sure they’re hooking up.”  Sid asked Jamie one morning. 

It was the first of December and they were getting ready for a two-week road trip to southern California.  It would be nice to have the long road trips out of the way before the All-star break and the push to the playoffs.  Most of their games starting in February would be against east coast teams.

“I just am.”  Jamie stuck his head out of the bathroom, the toiletry bag he’d been packing in his hands.  “I can’t put my finger on any one thing, but I know it’s happening.”

Jamie disappeared back into the bathroom.

“I think you’re wrong.  I really think they’ve had a falling out.”

“What makes you think that?”  Jamie yelled out at him.

“Cause they asked to be roomed with different people this trip.”

Jamie appeared in the doorway, a confused look on his face, brow furrowed, lips pursed to the side.

“How do you know?”

“I was told.  And, it was suggested that I have a chat with them to see if there is a problem.”

“Okay.  Yeah.  Okay.  That sounds like a good thing for the Captain to do.”  Jamie nodded his head slowly, then stepped back into the bathroom.  “I’m surprised at that.  Dillon hasn’t said anything to me.  So, are they splitting them?”  He said as he finished packing his bag.

“Not this trip.  At least not at first.  They need to figure out who to room them with.  Get a couple of guys to agree to it.  You wanna room with one of them?”

“Not particularly.”  Jamie smirked at him.

“About that Captainly duty.”  Sid started.  “I think you should be the one to talk to Dillon there, Alternate Captain Crosby.”

Jamie walked across the room and tossed the small bag down by his suitcase.  He sat down on the edge of the bed and scowled at Sid.

“I don’t think so.”  Jamie says.

“You have a good rapport with him.  He’s your rookie.”  Sid laughed.

“I don’t want a rookie.”

“Look, you have the A.  If your gonna wear it, it comes with certain responsibilities.”

“Which I’ve happily avoided.”

“Well, you need to step up.”  Sid’s tone turned much more serious than it had been just moments ago.

“Fuck.”

You’re going to have to be a leader, Sid thought to himself.  I’m counting on you.

\-------------------------------------------------

“What’s going on?”  Jamie got right to the point of his lunch date with Dillon.

“With what?”

“You and the Swiss cheese.  Why the request for room changes?”

Dillon shrugged.  “I didn’t ask for one.”  He paused, dipping his chin to his chest and staring at the table top.  “Andy did.”

“And you don’t know why?”

Dillon nodded, then shook his head.  “I know.”

“He is homophobic.  He found out you were gay and that’s why?”  Jamie told him, not letting on to everything he knew.

“What?  No.  No.  Absolutely not.  Andy’s not that way at all.  He’s… we…”  Dillon’s head snapped up and he instantly came to Andy’s defense, his face flushing.  “He’s not.”

“How can you be so sure.”

“Because he…  we…”  Dillon’s voice softened, and the words trailed off, he looked away.

“I knew it!  I knew it!  I knew it!”  Jamie exclaimed happily.  “You two are, were, whatever.  You hooked up.”

Dillon started to protest, then slowly nodded his head.

“I told Sid I was right.”  Jamie smirked.  Then he looked at the hurt and confused expression on Dillon’s face.  “I’m sorry.  We’d been wondering.  I kind of figured you were together.  I know Andy likes you, that’s kind of what Kylie heard him tell his mom that night.  But, we didn’t want to come out and say anything.  Then you started hanging out and well, we thought…”

“Yeah.  We were getting close.”

“But?”

“I don’t know what happened.  I think, I think he’s afraid the team will find out.”

“That wouldn’t be a problem.”  Jamie held his hands up, pointing them back at his chest.  “Not with Sid and me there.  Actually, I’m pretty sure they know.  You two are kind of the worst kept secret since Sid and I got together.”

“He’s afraid of people finding out.  He’s had some… some bad experiences.”

“Obviously his family knows and is okay with it.”

“His mother.  His father won’t speak to him.”

“Oh.”  Jamie said, surprised.   Jamie’s thoughts instantly went to Kyle and Luc. “That’s… oh.”

“I really like him, Jamie.  He’s so nice.  And we get along so well.  We like a lot of the same things.  He worries.  About being outed.  About people finding out.  He worried because he figured you knew, but I told him it wasn’t a problem.  It’s why,” Dillon sighed, “it’s why he said the things he said, says, sometimes.  He acts like he doesn’t like gay people sometimes, when he’s around people he thinks hate them.”

That concerned Jamie, it was a worrisome sign.  Balancing that act, being one way with Dillon and another way in public put Andreas in a precarious position, a very stressful position as well.  It had been too much for Kyle.  Jamie didn’t want it to overwhelm Andreas and push him to do something like that.

“How is he around you?”

“Kind.  Sweet.  Loving.  Totally different than what I see in public.”

“That can be hard on a relationship.”  Jamie says.

“Yes.  And now, we aren’t going to be rooming together.  We aren’t going out.  He’s pulled completely away from me because he’s afraid the team thinks we’re together.”

“Nobody will hassle you guys.  Not on this team.”

“I try to tell him that.  But he just won’t listen.”

Jamie stares across the table at Dillon, who looks like he may burst into tears at any minute.  Well, if he has to have a rookie, he’s not going to let his rookie be upset. 

“I think I know somebody he should talk to.”  Jamie says quietly.  “Ask him if he’ll talk to me or Sid about what he’s dealing with.  Then I’ll hook him up with this other person.  You guys deserve a chance.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You really think that’s a good idea?”  Sid questions.

“Yep.”  Jamie lies on his stomach on the bed, behind Sid who is sitting on the edge.  Jamie’s propped up on his elbows and is texting someone.  “I do.”

After all these years, Sid’s seen a different Luc from the one he heard about.  The one who pushed his son away.  The one who caused Jamie so much heartbreak.  Jamie says Luc has changed, that he learned and grew and is not the same person.  If he was, Jamie told Sid, Jamie wouldn’t let him anywhere near Kylie.  In the past five years, since Kylie was born, Luc and Jamie have gotten much closer.  Surrogate father.  Surrogate son.

“He has a different perspective on things.  He can relate to Andy’s dad.  I think, he’ll have a better chance of making him see that things don’t have to be the way they are, ya know?”  Jamie glances over at Sid, who’s bent forward, head in his hands, elbows on his knees.  “What?”

“I just wish you’d have never started this whole get them together thing.  Jesus.  I knew it was going to be trouble.”

“It’s not.  It’s a good thing.  Want them to be happy.  Like us.  Right?”  Jamie gets up and moves to sit behind Sid, his legs slipping around either side of Sid.  He wraps his arms around Sid’s midsection and pulls him back against his chest.  “All you need is love, Sid.  All they need is love.”

Jamie kissed Sid’s cheek and rubbed his hands over Sid’s chest.  He starts singing.  “There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done.  Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung…”

Sid tilts his head back against Jamie’s shoulder and closes his eyes.  He takes Jamie’s hand in his and guides it down to his lap.  Jamie takes the hint, palming Sid through his pants while he keeps singing.

“That’s all it takes, baby boy.  You singing.”  Sid pushes against Jamie’s hand, adding some pressure.

“Love, love, love.  All you need is love.  Love is all you need.”  Jamie sings softly into Sid’s ear as he strokes his hardening cock through the material.

“You want…”  Sid moans.

“Mmmmm…. this…”  Jamie breaths against Sid’s neck, his breath warm, the kisses that follow wet.

Sid undoes the zipper of his pants and Jamie reaches in, guiding Sid’s cock out of his briefs and through the opening.  His fingers wrap around the shaft, pulling the foreskin back with each downward stroke.  He holds it down after a few strokes and lets his thumb play over the red, swollen tip, spreading the precome around. 

“Not gonna take much.”  Sid tilts his head to the side, giving Jamie more neck to nibble at.

“Never does.”  Jamie laughs.

“Brat.”  Sid snorts.

Jamie goes back to working his hand up and down the length of Sid’s hard shaft.  He rolls his palm over the head a few times, tightens his grip and tugs the foreskin up over the head.  Sid tries to push his hips up, tries to thrust into Jamie’s hand.  Jamie wraps his free arm tightly around Sid’s waist and holds him still.

“Fuck.  Fuck. Fuck.”  Sid groans as Jamie increases the pace of his strokes.  “Gonna… fuck.”

“Mmmmmhhhhhmmmmm…”  Jamie hums against Sid’s neck.  “That’s it.”

Sid comes, white spurts shooting up then falling back down to coat his cock and Jamie’s hand.  Jamie keeps the pressure on Sid’s cock as he strokes him through his orgasm.  Sid’s whole body tenses, soft shudders rocking him, then he goes lax against Jamie.

“That was nice.  Wow.”  Sid sighs contentedly.

“All you need, Crosby.”  Jamie kisses his cheek.  “All I need.  Is you.”


	13. Rookies In Love - Step 1: Get Them In the Same House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carefully, Jamie lifted Kylie up. She stirred, mumbled something, and snuggled in against his chest. He carried her upstairs to bed while Sid woke the boys.
> 
> “You can stay over if you want, Andy. We have lots of space.” Sid offered. He watched the hopeful look Dillon gave Andy.
> 
> Finally, Andy nodded, saying it was late and the roads might not be good. Sid left them alone at that point, letting them figure out the sleeping arrangements. 
> 
> The next morning, the door to only one guest room was closed. And, Andy was there for breakfast.

The road trip went okay.  There was an increased level of tension in the locker room.  Mostly everyone was confused because suddenly Dillon and Andreas weren’t even talking to each other.  Tommy let Andreas room with him for the time being, and Dillon suffered alone.  He spent a lot of time hanging out in Sid and Jamie’s room talking to Jamie about things.  Neither of them really minded, except it put a crimp on Jamie’s play time he’d had planned for this trip.  Sid told him that was part of the sacrifice you had to make when you took on a rookie.  Jamie insisted again that he did not have, nor did he want, a rookie.  He was just helping the kid out.

It was fine, until Dillon started coming over and hanging out at the house once they got back to Pittsburgh.  It didn’t help that Kris was encouraging this, even suggesting that Dillon maybe needed to be staying with the Crosby family instead of the Letangs.  Jamie didn’t find that amusing. 

Over the course of two weeks right before Christmas, Kris managed to get most of Dillon’s belongings moved to the Crosby residence.  An item or two a day, snuck over after practices or games.  When they got back from an overnight road trip to Columbus, Dillon just came home with Sid and Jamie, and the move was complete.

“Is he going home for Christmas?”  Sid asked Jamie as he walked into the kitchen.

“I don’t know, are you going home for Christmas?” Jamie asked over his shoulder.

“Yes.”  Dillon said, walking over and sitting down at the table.

“Okay.  Maybe we can get the rest of your stuff moved over before then.”  Sid stirs the diced chicken he’s cooking. 

Dillon hangs his head dejectedly.  “I’m sorry for this.”

“For what?”  Jamie asks, leaning over Sid’s shoulder and stealing a piece of chicken.  “Mmmm… that’s good.  What else are we having?”

“Eventually it’s going to be stir fry, if you leave any chicken.”  Sid scolds him.  “And it’s fine, Dillon.  Kris talked to us before he turned you loose on us.  We all felt that maybe you’d do better with Jamie and I because we’re playing and on the ice with you.  Also, Kris won’t be traveling with the team as much this spring, so there’s that, too.”

“Okay.  I just do not want to be a bother.”

“No bother.”  Jamie smiles at him.  “Nice to have a live-in babysitter.”

“What?”

“Well, since you don’t have a social life.  And you can’t go out and drink.  You can babysit.”  Jamie wanders around the kitchen, getting out plates, silverware, and drinks for the three of them.

“But I…”

“No buts.  Kylie’s excited.”  Jamie smirked.  “I think, in fact, we have tomorrow off.  Sid and I need a night out.”

Sid winked at him.  This was his idea.  “Yep.  Dinner and a movie sounds nice.”

“But I can’t.  I don’t have any experience.  With children.”  Dillon stammered.

“Kylie’s easy.  You’ll be fine.”  Jamie assured him.  He winked back at Sid.  Sometimes his husband could be really devious.  This was a brilliant plan.

\----------------------------------------------------------

“Ich spreche nur Deutsch.”  Kylie exclaimed, yet again, crossing her arms over her chest and taking a defiant, immoveable stance. 

“Kylie, please.”  Dillon pleaded with her. 

“Nicht.”  She said loudly. 

This had been going on since Sid and Jamie walked out the door a half hour earlier.  Dillon had tried French.  Nothing.  English.  Nothing.  He was at a loss and getting frustrated.  Kylie was not being cooperative, as Jamie had promised she would be.  He pulled out his phone.

Dillon:  _She won’t talk to me.  Saying she only speaks German.  I think.  Won’t play game.  Won’t eat.  What do I do?_

Jamie:  _The number you have contacted is temporarily out of service.  Figure it out rookie._

“Fuck.”  Dillon swore.

“Oh!”  Kylie gasped.  She brought her hand up and shook her finger at him.  Then she proceeded to march around the room.  “Fuck!  Fuck! Fuck!”  She chanted as she marched.

Well, at least it wasn’t German, he thought.  That was a start.  He was exasperated.  There was only one thing left to do.  He typed out another message.  He waited but got no response.  Everyone had abandoned him he thought.  Twenty minutes later, however, the doorbell rang.

 _“Oh my god, thank you!  When you didn’t answer me.  I thought…”_   Dillon said, the relief that he had help now coming out in his voice.  He wanted to just hug Andy but held back.

 _“I wasn’t sure.  But you sounded so desperate.  I decided to come help.”_   Andy stepped in and followed Dillon to the living room.

“Andy! Andy! Andy!”  Kylie yelled, running across the room and throwing herself into Andreas’ arms when she saw him.

“Was machst du mit dem armen Dillon?”

Kylie giggled.  “Ich spreche nur Deutsch.”

“Ich verstehe das.  Warum?”

Kylie shrugged and giggled more.  “It’s fun.”

“Aha!”  Dillon shouted.  “Finally.”

Kyle clasped her hands over her mouth in horror.  She squirmed out of Andreas’ arms and ran away, the boys giving chase.  And thus, the game of catch Kylie was on.  She squealed with delight as they chased her around the house, ducking under tables or fleeing over furniture whenever they got close to grabbing her.  By the time Dillon managed to tackle her, all three were laughing so hard tears were rolling down their cheeks and their sides hurt.  Andy fell down on the floor next to them and draped his arm over Dillon and Kylie. 

Dillon looked over at him, eyes bright, sparkling, full of happiness.  Andreas reached out and touched Dillon’s cheek, smiling softly. 

 _“I miss you.”_ Andy mouthed.

 _“I miss you, too.”_   Dillon mouthed back.

When Sid and Jamie got home, they found the three of them asleep on the couch.  There were games and toys spread across the floor and the house looked like a tornado had gone through it, but Kylie was tucked safely between the two boys.  Dillon was on her right, leaning over with his head on Andy’s shoulder.  Andy was on her left, an arm protectively wrapped around her shoulders and hand resting on Dillon’s thigh.  It was the picture of domestic bliss, so Jamie snapped a few pictures to share. 

Carefully, Jamie lifted Kylie up.  She stirred, mumbled something, and snuggled in against his chest.  He carried her upstairs to bed while Sid woke the boys.

“You can stay over if you want, Andy.  We have lots of space.”  Sid offered.  He watched the hopeful look Dillon gave Andy.

Finally, Andy nodded, saying it was late and the roads might not be good.  Sid left them alone at that point, letting them figure out the sleeping arrangements. 

The next morning, the door to only one guest room was closed.  And, Andy was there for breakfast.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Andreas had indicated that he really didn’t want to talk about things, at least not with Jamie right now.  Dillon said they had talked and it was better, but Andreas was still worried about appearances.  So, okay, they could work with that. 

After their last short road trip before Christmas, most of the team headed out for a few well-earned days rest.  Dillon flew out to Toronto.  Andreas went home to Germany to spend Christmas with his mom.  Sid, Jamie, Kylie, Luc and Diane flew to Cole Harbour for a family Christmas. 

Sid and Jamie’s household had unofficially grown by one following the babysitting episode.  Andy had come back to their place when they got home from the road trip, spending the night before the break started.  This seemed to be the solution to hiding their relationship.  Getting them in the same house was a start and this was the best way.  It could be easily explained if anyone asked.

So, when they were all back in Pittsburgh three days later, Andreas moved out of Tommy’s apartment and in to the Crosby house, making the change official.

“You picked up another rookie, I see.”  Dan Potash asked Jamie casually after practice the next day.  “Was there an issue with him at Knuckles’ place?”

“Nah.  He was fine there.  But, he wanted more of a family home.  The bachelor thing at Tommy’s wasn’t for him.”  Jamie joked.  “Like with Chamberlain.  He was fine at Tanger’s, but Kris will be spending some time at Wilkes-Barre.  It just made sense for Dils to live with someone traveling with the team.”

“Heard tell he’s become your rookie.  How’s that feel?  Getting your own rookie?”  Dan questioned.

“Ugh.  I feel like I’m still a rookie myself.”  Jamie groaned.  “It’s been a learning experience for sure.”

“I can only imagine!”  Dan smiled.

For all anyone knew, that was the logic behind the moves.  To give the two kids family type stability in Pittsburgh and on the road.  There weren’t issues, they assured the press that asked, it was just something all parties involved thought was best to help with their development at this point.

What it did do was allow Dillon and Andreas to explore a relationship out of the public eye, out of speculation by teammates and the press.  They could go back to rooming together on the road, cause well, that’s what rookies did.  They could be themselves at Sid and Jamie’s, sharing a room if they wanted, or having separate rooms to go to if they needed alone time.  It was the perfect situation. 

Really.

What could go wrong?


	14. House Guest Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you know what else they do?” Jamie looked at Brian. “The Swiss cheese drinks milk right out of the carton. I don’t think he knows what a glass is for at all. And the French dip, he eats all the cookies. And then puts the package back in the cupboard. Empty.”
> 
> “He does not.” Sid shakes his head. “Not out of our milk anyway. He wrote his name on the milk he bought. And it’s not like you never get any cookies. There’s more than enough for everybody.”
> 
> “I don’t care. Cheese still drinks out of the carton. Come on, I never did that.”
> 
> “Orange juice. All the time.” Sid says. “And as for cookies, seems to me I didn’t get any, not even one, of the ones Nathalie sent over last week. You ate them all.”
> 
> Jamie looks at Brian for support.
> 
> “OJ. Sid’s got you there. You do it all the time.” Brian holds his hands up in a defensive posture when Jamie glares.

“God, it’s exhausting.”  Jamie said, flopping down on the bed in Brian’s hotel room.

“It can’t be that bad.”  Brian sat down on the bed, leaning his back up against the headboard and stretching his legs out next to Jamie.  “They’re teenagers, they should be pretty self-sufficient.”

“They’re teenage boys.  And hockey players on top of that.”  Jamie said into the pillow, then he turned his head towards Brian.  “They eat non-stop.  Non-stop.  And play video games.  And shut themselves in their room. Doing god knows what.  And the showering, oh my god there’s never any hot water because one or the other, or both of them, are in the shower all the time.  Jesus.  Food and sex and video games.  That’s their life.”

“Sounds about right.”  Brian laughed.

“I wasn’t like that.  Were you like that?”  Jamie groans.  “I correct myself, they aren’t hockey players, they’re fucking rabbits.  Horny, fucking, rabbits.”

“You were like that.”

Jamie glared at Brian.

“You almost killed Sidney with sex, remember fuck buddy?”

Jamie buried his face in the pillow and let out a muffled profanity laced rant.

“You should be happy.  This is what you wanted.  The rookies are in love.  Mission accomplished.”

“I’m happy.  It’s just.  I didn’t think this through very well, having them live with us.”

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation.  Brian went to see who it was and returned, followed by Sid.  Brian resumed his position and Sid sat in one of the chairs by the windows.

“He’s whining, right?”  Sid nodded at Jamie.  “He has been for a week.”

“I think he’s just jealous somebody’s getting laid more than him.”  Brian chirped.

Jamie, his face still buried in the pillow, raised a hand and flipped them off.

“He’s exaggerating that.  They aren’t nearly as bad as he was.”  Sid laughs.

“I was not…”

“You were.  You still are.”  Sid winks at Brian who laughs.  “They’re just fine.  Haven’t been a problem at all.”

“If I was so bad, why’d you put up with me?”  Jamie flipped over and stared at Sid accusingly.  “Hhhmm?  See, I wasn’t that bad.”

“I put up with you cause I fell in love with you.  Were you not so damn cute, I’d have tossed your ass out after a week. So, quit complaining about them.” Sid said, his face dead serious.

Brian squirmed uncomfortably on the bed, not sure he wanted to be in the middle of the battle that was brewing. 

“Do you know what else they do?”  Jamie looked at Brian.  “The Swiss cheese drinks milk right out of the carton.  I don’t think he knows what a glass is for at all.  And the French dip, he eats all the cookies.  And then puts the package back in the cupboard.  Empty.”

“He does not.”  Sid shakes his head.  “Not out of our milk anyway.  He wrote his name on the milk he bought.  And it’s not like you never get any cookies.  There’s more than enough for everybody.”

“I don’t care.  Cheese still drinks out of the carton.  Come on, I never did that.”

“Orange juice.  All the time.”  Sid says.  “And as for cookies, seems to me I didn’t get any, not even one, of the ones Nathalie sent over last week.  You ate them all.”

Jamie looks at Brian for support.

“OJ.  Sid’s got you there.  You do it all the time.”  Brian holds his hands up in a defensive posture when Jamie glares.

“Whatever.”

“And, at least they know how to do their own laundry.  And they keep their room clean.  And…”  Sid points out to Jamie.

“I do my own laundry.  I do your laundry.”

“Now.  You didn’t when you moved in.”  Sid smirked.  “And shall we list all your other faults.  Some you still have?”

“I still have?”  Jamie snapped.  Brian cringed.

“You’re a slob, baby boy.  Our bathroom regularly looks like a two-year old was allowed to go wild in it.”  Sid says.  “Towels everywhere.  Toothpaste in the sink.  The tube with the cap off, squeezed from the middle.  Soap scum on the mirror.  How does that even happen?”

“If living with me is such a problem.  I can change that.”  Jamie gets up off the bed and walks to the door.  “I’ll be back.  Think I’ll come stay with Dumes this trip.”

“Oh no you don’t.”  Brian says, stopping Jamie in his tracks.  “You aren’t hiding out here.  Face the music.  Having lived with you on the road a few times, I have to side with Sid on this one, too.  You, my friend, are a slob.”

“What the fuck?  Dumes, I’m hurt.”  Jamie turns and leans against the wall, scrubbing his hands over his face.  “It’s just.  I want them to be together.  They’re good for each other.  But, couldn’t they have done it at Kris’ or Tommy’s?  I mean, Dils could have moved into Tommy’s.  Three single guys.  That wouldn’t have been a problem.”

“Tommy, god love him, isn’t the one to be there for them if issues arise.  He’s not got the same insight and experience we have.”  Sid says.  “We talked about this.  You agreed.  And it was all okay.”

“Speaking of being okay.  How come it was okay for you to use Kylie to get them together, but it wasn’t okay for me to have her spy…  wait…  okay, never mind.”  Jamie sighed.  He walked back over and flopped down on his back on the bed again.  “I give up.”

“Don’t they go out?  Give you guys a night alone?”  Brian questioned.

“They haven’t since when, New Year’s Eve?”  Sid answered.

“You guys go out?  Get away from them?”  Brian asked, continuing his line of questioning. 

“We haven’t.  Travel.  Games.  Practice.  Hasn’t been a chance.”  Sid says.  “For any of us, I guess.”

Brian nodded his head and hummed.  He had an idea, for a change, to get Sid and Jamie together.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

“What’s the most romantic thing Sid’s ever done?”  Brian asked as he and Jamie jogged around Raleigh the next morning.

“I don’t know.  Why?”

“Looking for ideas.  Kayla would like it if I was more romantic, I think.”

“He got down on his knees.”  Jamie gave Brian a truly indecent leer and waggled his eyebrows.  “Do you do that for Kay?  You should.”

“Oh my god, you would say something like that.”

“Okay.  Seriously.  He got down on one knee and proposed.  That was romantic.  But you already got that one covered.  So… hhhhmmm… romantic… flowers… for our anniversary, I get flowers.  Every year.  Whether we’re home or on the road, he manages to get me flowers.”

“That’s nice.  I could do that.  What else?”

“I don’t know, Dumes.  It’s… I don’t know.”

“What?”

“Well, I think it’s kind of a personal thing.  What people think is romantic.  Sid’s been there for me.  Through so much.  I guess, that’s romantic to me.”

“Yeah, I guess that is.  Like, what else?”

“Jesus, it’s too early to have to think.  Really?”

“Yeah.  I need help here, Fluff.”

“A bath.”

“Huh?”

“Take a bath together.  Candles.  Scented water.  Bubbles.  Relaxing.  And… uh… lots of fun.”

“Okay.  Yeah.  That sounds like a good one.”  Brian says, this isn’t what he was hoping for.  “So, like if you guys have a free day, house to yourselves, that’s on the agenda?”

“Sometimes.  But like we’re ever gonna get a day to ourselves again.”  Jamie scoffs.  “Not with Frick and Frack at the house.”

“Don’t start.  I know it can’t be that bad.  And besides, you have a kid.  So, your style’s already crimped.”  Brian laughs.

“We get to pawn her off a couple of weekends a month.”  Jamie says.  “So, we’d get some time alone.  Christ, we haven’t even been able to get any alone time on the road lately.  They come and hang out in our room.”

“When was the last time you got laid?”

“New Year’s Eve.”  Jamie bemoans.

“Three weeks?  You haven’t gotten fucked in three weeks?”  Brian nearly trips as he feigns shock.  “That has to be some kind of record for you.  I’m surprised you haven’t died yet, because of the built-up frustration.  Wow.”

“Asshole.”

Well, that’s the ticket, Brian thought as they ran on in silence.  Jamie and Sid did need a day alone.  Forget trying to plan something romantic for them, just giving them the day off from Dillon, Andreas, and Kylie would do wonders for Jamie’s disposition.  He had the solution, now he just needed to find a way to make it happen.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 _“I knew they didn’t really want us to live there.”_   Andreas says to Dillon after he explains Brian’s suggestion to him.

 _“That’s not what he said.”_   Dillon goes on.  _“He just said that we should maybe give them a day to themselves.  As a way to say thank you for letting us stay there.”_

“What’d he say?”  Brian questions, seeing Andreas’ reaction.

 _“Are you sure?”_   Andreas asked.  _“They don’t want us to leave?”_

Dillon asks Brian that question.  Brian shakes his head adamantly.  “No, no, they don’t want you to leave.  It’s nothing like that.  I just think, well, it would be nice if you took Kylie for the day, maybe.  Gave them some alone time.”

“I hear that Jamie has been saying that he’s had it with us.”  Dillon says.  “That he’s been complaining.  It is causing problems with Sid.  Yes?”

“No.”  Brian assures him.  “Look, you just have to know Jamie.  He likes to whine.  It’s part of his… personality… just like being an asshole.”

The two chuckle at that when Dillon translates for Andreas. 

“What do we need to do?”  Dillon asks Brian.

Brian lays out the plan for them, to be executed on their next off-day in Pittsburgh.


	15. The Best Laid Plans...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t care who planned it.” Sid kissed along Jamie’s shoulder, then leaned up on his tiptoes to kiss his neck. “It’s perfect.”
> 
> “Mmmm…” Jamie tipped his head to the side, baring more of his neck for Sid. “Perfect.”
> 
> “So” Sid said between soft kisses. “Eat or play first.”
> 
> “Play.” Jamie turned in Sid’s arms and bent down to kiss him. They stood, tucked together, kissing.
> 
> Then Jamie’s phone chimed.

Two days later, the Pens beat the Capitals in a Sunday afternoon game.  That evening, while Sid and Jamie fix a late dinner, Andreas and Dillon put Brian’s plot into motion.

“Kylie, we want to do something nice for your dads.  You want to help us?”  Dillon asked as they played a game of Chutes and Ladders. 

“Like how?”  Kylie asks.

“Would you like to go see a movie with us tomorrow after practice?”

“A movie? Yay!”  She squeeled with delight.  “We’re going to a movie!”

“Ssshhh… not so loud.”  Dillon held his finger up to his mouth.

“Why?” Kylie whispered.

“Cause it’s part of the surprise.  You have to get them to let us take you.”

“You mean Daddy and Papa wouldn’t come with us?  Isn’t this the nice thing for them?”

“Well, we thought maybe they’d like to have a day to themselves.  Without Andy and me being here.”

“Oh.  Like a date.  Like when I go to Uncle Brian’s.”  Kylie grinned.  “Just them.”

“Exactly.  You want to help us?”

“Hhhhmmm…”  Kylie paused, making a thinking face and holding her hand up to her chin, obviously mimicking her dad.  “What do I get?”

Yes, she was Jamie’s daughter.

“Um.  What do you mean?  You get to go to a movie.”

“And dinner?  At Frank’s.  And a milkshake.”

Dillon talked to Andy for a few minutes and Andy nodded in agreement. 

“Okay.”  Dillon told her.  “Movie and dinner.”

“And a dress up tea party.” Kylie added.

“A what?”

“A tea party.  You and Andy have to dress up with me.  And we’ll sit at my table and we’ll have tea, and cookies, and stuff.”

Dillon translated to Andy who gave him a concerned look.  Dillon asked how bad it could be and Andy’s concerned look increased.  After several minutes of intense negotiation in French, that had Kylie giggling in delight, Andy gave in.

“Deal.”  Dillon said.

“Deal.”  Kylie said and stuck out her hand.  The boys looked at each other one last time, Andy nodded, and they shook on it.

“You have to make them let us take you.”  Dillon said.

“They will.”  Kylie smiled at him.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night, Kylie snuggled down into the blanket between Sid and Jamie on their bed. 

“Papa, I wanna go see _Scarlet Rose.”_

“We’re going down in Dallas, while Daddy’s at the All-star game.”

“No.  I want to go see it here.  With Livia.  And Dillon.  And Andy.”

“You don’t want us to go?”  Jamie asked, acting hurt.  “Sunshine?”

Uh oh.  She hadn’t thought about that.

“Um.  Yeah.  You and Papa, too.  But we can go see it at the All-star game.”

“You think you should get to go twice?”

“Uh huh.”  She nodded her head against the pillows.  “Cause I’m a princess, too.  Just like Scarlet Rose.”

“You think?”  Jamie rolled over on his side and tickled her tummy, making her squirm and giggle.  “I don’t know.”

“Well, I guess we could go twice.  What ya say, Daddy.”  Sid smiled as he watched them.

“Yeah.  We can go.”  Jamie stopped tickling.  “When do you want to go?  I’ll call Uncle Brian and make arrangements.”

“Tomorrow.”  Kylie said cautiously, she needed to fix her mistake.  “But, I just want Andy and Dillon to take us.”

“Really?  We have practice.”  Sid said.

“Yep.  After.  Tomorrow.  I want to go tomorrow.”  Kylie told them. 

Jamie rolled over and found his phone.  He typed out a message to Brian and hit send.  There was a long delay before he got a response.  All Brian said was _OK._

“All set, I guess.”  Jamie shrugged.  “You sure you don’t want Papa and me to come, too?”

“Nope.”  Kylie said, crossing her arms over her chest.  “Just them.”

“Okay then.”  Jamie laughed at her determined look.  “We’ll see what they say.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 “Kylie wants to go see it.”  Dillon said when Jamie told him about Kylie’s demand they go to the movie that afternoon.  “It’s all she’s been talking about for weeks.”

Jamie knew that.  The newest Disney movie, something about a horse and a girl that he wasn’t sure about, was in fact Kylie’s latest obsession.  He and Sid had been planning on taking her, though.

“We were gonna go see it over the break.  In Dallas while we were there.”  Jamie said.  He and Sid would be going, Jamie playing this time, Sid along as a spectator. 

“Oh.  Well, I just thought.  She asked us to take her.”  Dillon said.  “I told her she had to clear it with you.”

Jamie dished up a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, hashbrowns and toast, then slid it across the counter to Dillon.  Kylie came running in to the kitchen then, followed by Andreas.  She climbed up on a stool between them as Jamie fixed their plates.

“Sunshine, Dils says you asked him and Andy to take you to the movie?”

“Dillon said we could.”  She informed him. 

Jamie looked over at her smiling face.  She adored the two house guests, and they adored her.  Well, if they wanted to go.  “Okay.  You guys can take my Jeep.  I’ll ride in with Sid today.  I suppose you’ve conned them in to taking you out to dinner as well?”

Kylie nodded, grinning around a mouthful of eggs and toast.  “Fanks.”

The diner was Kylie’s favorite place, too.

“I should have guessed.”  Jamie smiled.  He fixed his plate and went to sit down at the counter with them.  “Papa coming?  His breakfast is ready.”

“He said he’d be down in a few.”  Dillon offered.  “Was on the phone.”

Jamie wondered who he could be talking to this early.  Mario maybe?  His folks?  Then he remembered.  Sid had an early morning call from Pat Brisson scheduled.  More contract talk.  He thought they had come to a deal, another three years. 

When Sid finally came down, Jamie gave him a questioning look.  Sid just shook his head no.  No contract agreement, yet.  Which meant Jamie’s negotiations were still on hold.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

The first off day the Pens had in Pittsburgh wasn’t going to be until after the All-star break the last weekend of January.  Not that the plan couldn’t have waited, but Brian could tell that Jamie needed some alone time.  Monday wasn’t an off-day, but it was a light day with just a morning practice scheduled.  He double checked with the PR staff to make sure no one had any commitments for the afternoon, then started to put his plan in motion.

Kayla would use their key to the house to let the caterers in.  The dining room would be decked out in flowers and a nice meal would be waiting for them.  The house would be theirs.  Dillon and Andreas would be taking Kylie from her school at the training center out for the afternoon and evening.

He was sure this would help brighten Jamie’s mood.

When he saw Kylie running down the hall toward him he threw his arms out wide, then bent down to scoop her up into a gigantic hug. 

“Uncle Brian!” Kylie yelled.  “Guess what!”

“What?”

“Andy and Dillon are taking Livia and me to the movies!”

“Is that so?  Well now, that sounds like fun.” 

She leaned in close to his ear and whispered.  “It’s so you can surprise Daddy and Papa.”

“I know.”  He whispered back.  “Good surprise, huh?”

“Yep.”  She squirmed out of his arms and took off down the hall, headed for the room used for the home school.  Brian heard the happy squeals from the room as Kylie and Olivia started their day together.

“Did she come this way?”  Jamie asked when he saw Brian as he rounded a corner.  “Damn, she’s fast.  I told them they needed to make sure she waited for them, but nope, she bolted the minute they stopped the Jeep.”

“She’s in all okay.”  Brian assured him.  “You’ll need to double warn them if they’re taking them both this afternoon.”

“What’s with that anyway?”

“I don’t know.  You’re the one who asked me about it.  I’m just the middleman for Olivia getting to go.”  Brian laughed.  He slapped his hand on Jamie’s back and turned him around, ushering him down the hall and away from the classroom.  “Come on, we have to get changed.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Quit worrying.  They’ll be fine.”  Sid walked through the door behind Jamie. 

“I just… are you sure?  She can be a handful by herself, but her and Olivia… together…”

“I think they can handle two five-year-olds.” 

“They can barely take care of themselves.”  Jamie scoffs.  Suddenly he stops in front of Sid and sniffs the air, inhaling deeply through his nose.  “What is that amazing smell?”

They walk to the kitchen and find the oven on.  Jamie opens the door.

“Oh my god.  Lasagna.  What the hell.”

Sid picks up an envelope off the counter and opens it, taking out a hand-written note.

_Thank you for opening your home to us.  You have been so gracious.  We thought we’d repay you by giving you an afternoon to yourselves.  A romantic dinner for two and time alone.  Enjoy!  A & D_

“Hhhhmmmm…”  Jamie hums, a suspicious lilt to his voice.  “Uh huh.  The cheese and dip came up with this?”

Jamie closed the oven door and wandered to the dining room.  There were carnations all over and the table was set for the two of them, their nicest dinnerware and candles.

“I rest my case.”  Jamie smiled as Sid came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist.  “This reeks of Dumes.”

“I don’t care who planned it.”  Sid kissed along Jamie’s shoulder, then leaned up on his tiptoes to kiss his neck.  “It’s perfect.”

“Mmmm…”  Jamie tipped his head to the side, baring more of his neck for Sid.  “Perfect.”

“So” Sid said between soft kisses.  “Eat or play first.”

“Play.”  Jamie turned in Sid’s arms and bent down to kiss him.  They stood, tucked together, kissing.

Then Jamie’s phone chimed.

French Dip:  _On way to emergency room_

“What the fuck!”  Jamie swore.

French Dip:  _UPMC Passavant they said_

“What the fuck!”  Jamie swore again.  “They’re headed to Passavant.”

“Why?  What happened?”  Sid said following Jamie to the kitchen.

Jamie paused from typing to turn the oven off.  Sid was already on his way to the door.

“Have they said anything else?”

“No.”  Jamie huffed and slammed the door shut behind them.  “I’ll try Dumes.”

“Is it one of them?  Kylie?  Olivia?  Did they have an accident?  What?”

“I don’t know, Sid.”  Jamie snapped.  “I’m trying to find out.”

By the time they pulled up and parked outside UPMC – Passavant in Cranberry, Jamie and Sid had a better, not a complete, but a better idea of what had happened.  It seemed that the girls talked the boys into taking them skating before the movie.  A bunch of the other kids that were there joined in on the fun.  In the course of the impromptu skating party, a game of whip ensued.  And the boys, not thinking, dragged the girls around.  When Andreas cut back to ‘whip’ the line, Kylie lost her grip on Olivia and went sailing across the ice and into the boards.

“She has a broken arm.”  Brian intercepted Jamie outside the emergency room doors.  “She’s fine.  They’re casting it now.”

“They’re treating her?  Without our okay?”  Jamie protested, trying to push around Brian.  “What if she has a concussion.  What if her arm’s dislocated?  What if…”

“Marcaziak was there.  He checked her over before the ambulance got there…”

“They brought her by ambulance?”

“Yes.  It’s fine.  Calm down.”  Brian continued.  Sid had stopped, at least, and Brian didn’t have to try and wrestle both of them.  “As a precaution.  But she didn’t hit the wall hard.  She broke it when she fell initially, when she hit the ice.  It’s a clean break.  Doc says it’ll heal fine.”

“Where’s Olivia?”  Sid asked.

“She’s with the boys.  They feel terrible.  It was an accident, okay.  Don’t bull your way in there ranting like a lunatic.”  Brian stared at Jamie until Jamie looked away and his body untensed.  He waited until Jamie had uncurled his fists and nodded at him before he stepped aside and let him pass.

“I’ll kill them later.”  Jamie said under his breath as he walked past Brian.

“You can have what’s left after I get through with them.”  Sid whispered back to him.

Brian, who heard them both, just threw his hands up in exasperation.


	16. Part of the Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you need to talk, come to Sid or me. We’re here for you. You’re part of the family now. So, you aren’t going anywhere. And if you need a day alone, just ask. Sid and I can take Kylie and vacate the premises for the day. Likewise, Sid and I may ask you to take Kylie again. If that’s okay with you.”
> 
> “That would be great.” Dillon smiled up at him, finally looking at ease. 
> 
> “Okay. Come’ere.” Jamie held his arms out wide, motioning for a hug. “Group hug.”

“What did they do to you?”  Jamie exclaimed as he strode into the exam room.  “I let them have you for one afternoon and they break you.”

Kylie giggled at him and held up her arm, covered from elbow to knuckles in a bright purple cast. 

“I’m not broken.  See?”

“Looks broken to me.”  Jamie sat down on the edge of the bed.  He ran his fingers over the fiberglass material.  “Does it hurt?”

“Nope.  I didn’t hardly cry, neither.”  Kylie puffed her chest up with pride.  “I’m a tough hockey kid.”

“It’s okay to cry, ya know.  Daddy does it all the time.”  Sid said, leaning over to kiss her forehead.  Jamie shot him a pissed off look.

“I know.”  Kylie said.  “But I’m like you, Papa.  There’s no crying in hockey.”

“See what you’ve done.”  Jamie said under his breath.

“I’m sorry.”  Kylie suddenly looked horrified, eyes wide.  “I ruined your surprise.”

“You know about that?”

She nodded her head.

“It’s okay, Sunshine.  You didn’t ruin anything.”

“I’m okay.  I can still go to the movie.”  She said determinedly.

“I don’t think so.  I think you’ve had enough excitement for the day.”

“Please?”  She turned her soft, green eyes on Sid.  “Please.  Please.  Please.”

“I don’t…”  Jamie started.

“My arm doesn’t hurt.  At all.”  She waved it around in the air.

“No.”  Jamie said.  He looked at Sid.  Who was looking down at those green eyes.  Eyes just like Jamie’s.

“Well…”  Sid drew out the word slowly.

“No.”  Jamie said firmly.

“Let’s see what Doc says, okay?”  Sid smiled sheepishly.  Jamie glared up at him.

Sid went to see if Dr. Marcaziak had come over from the training center.  He was surprised to find Jonas Davenport instead, the team’s head orthopedic doctor.

“I gave her something for the pain.  She’s likely to sleep all afternoon.”  Davenport told Sid.  “But, she shouldn’t be in any pain.  If she wants to go, it’s a quiet activity.  I don’t think it would be any harm.  If the arm bothers her, you can always leave the movie.”

“What do we give her for pain?”  Sid asked.

“Some children’s Tylenol.  It’s not a bad break.  At her age, maybe six weeks to heal.  It’s up the wrist a little, so growth plates aren’t an issue.  She should be fine.”  He informed Sid.  “However, you have a couple of rookies who are feeling worse than Kylie is.”

“They should.”

“Accidents happen to kids, Sid.  It’s part of growing up.”

“They should have known…”

“She skates all the time with the guys.  I’ve seen you and Jamie playing whip with the kids, with her.  Don’t even try to go there.”

Sid ducked his chin to his chest.  Davenport was right.  They did play rough with her, with all the hockey kids.  This could have happened to any of them.

“Thanks, Doc.  I’ll tell her she can go.”

“Like I said, she’s liable to just fall asleep in the theater.”  He smiled.  “Enjoy the movie.”

Sid next went in search of the two guilt-stricken rookies.

“Relax.”  He said, walking up to where they were sitting with Brian and Olivia.  “I’m not going to let him kill you.”

“What about you?”  Dillon asked softly.

“I’m not going to kill you either.”

Dillon and Andreas exchanged relieved looks.

“Kylie wants to go to the movie still.  Davenport says it’d be okay.  She most likely will fall asleep during it.”  Sid told them.  “Do you think you two can be trusted to take her?”

“You’d let us?”

“Well, yeah.  I think you deserve a second chance.”

“Oh, yeah!”  Dillon said happily.  “I promise.  We take very good care of her.”

“Olivia, you want to go to the movie still?”

“Is Kylie okay?”

“Yep.  She’s gonna be fine.”

Olivia looked hopefully up at her dad and when Brian smiled and nodded, she nodded eagerly.

“Okay then.  Let me go smooth this out with Jamie.  Then you can take Kylie and head out.”  Sid smiled.

It didn’t take as much as Sid thought to convince Jamie.  Davenport’s assurances.  And then, the reminder that they had a nice dinner and some alone time waiting.  It wasn’t like she was seriously injured, Sid told him.  She wasn’t in pain and wanted to go.  No point feeling over-protective or… guilty about wanting the time alone at this point.  Jamie finally agreed.

He let Sid take her out to Dillon and Andreas, however.  He wasn’t so sure he wasn’t going to kill them yet.

\------------------------------------------------

Jamie poked at his lasagna with his fork, moving it around on his plate.  After five minutes of this, Sid couldn’t ignore it any longer.

“She’s fine.  I’m sure.”

“Uh huh.”  Jamie said, barely audible, completely distracted.

“You want to just text and tell them to come home?”

“Uh huh.”

“Jame?  Were you even listening?”  Sid reached over and covered Jamie’s hand with his.

“What?  Uh, yeah.  No.  No, they don’t need to come home.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”  Jamie sighed heavily.

“You’ve only been playing with your food most of the time.”

“Just not hungry, I guess.”

“Are you feeling okay?”  Sid chuckled.  “Not like you.  Especially…  lasagna.”

“She got hurt.   And we weren’t there.”

“You can’t be there every minute.  We’ve been through this.”

“I know.”  He shrugged Sid’s hand off his and moved the lasagna back across his plate.  “Dumes gave me the lecture, too.”

Sid got up and walked to stand behind Jamie, resting his hands on Jamie’s shoulders for a moment before running them down his chest as he leaned over Jamie’s shoulder.  Sid kissed him lightly on the cheek.

“Accidents happen.  Much as I’d like to wrap you both in bubble-wrap, you’re both just gonna be accident prone for life I think.  She is yours, after all.”

“She’s ours.”  Jamie smiled, turning his head to find Sid’s lips.

“So, if you aren’t hungry for food?”  Sid mouthed against Jamie’s lips.  “Hungry for something else?”

“Hhhhmmm…  maybe…”

“Come on.”  Sid stood and pulled Jamie’s chair back.  “Upstairs?”

“Probably safest.  They might come home early.”

“Can you believe the things we have to think about just to have sex?”  Sid laughed.  “Like worrying when our family would be home.”

“Family, huh.  They’ve only been here a month.”

“But, they’re family.”  Sid took Jamie’s hand, leading him to the stairs.

“Yeah.  Fuck.”  Jamie smiled.  “They are.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dillon opened the door and held it for Andreas, then closed it quietly behind them.  He takes a look in the living room, then the dining room.  The plates from dinner are still on the table.  Maybe they’re home too early.  He goes to the stairs and cautiously calls out.

“Hello?”

“Yeah.  We’re up here.”  Sid calls back.

Dillon leads the way, followed by Andy who is carrying Kylie.  When they enter the master bedroom, Jamie and Sid are both sitting on the bed, their backs against the headboard, legs stretched out.  They’re wearing sweats and t-shirts and look ready for bed.  They both smile warmly when they see Kylie in Andy’s arms.  She’s got her broken arm, tucked in the sling, across her chest, her other arm folded carefully on top of it.  Her head rests against his chest and she’s sound asleep.

“She made it all the way through dinner.”  Dillon says.  “Passed out on the ride home.”

Jamie gets up and walks over to take her from Andreas.  He carefully lays her down on the bed next to Sid.

“Thanks.  She was okay, then?”  Sid asks.

“Oh yes.  She was good.  Enjoyed the movie a lot.”

“Our tough little hockey player.”  Jamie chuckled.  “Nothing stopping her.”

“Well, we’re going to turn in, too.”  Dillon offers.  “Good-night.”

“Guten Nacht.”  Andreas says.

“Night, boys.”  Sid tells them.  “See you in the morning.”

“Night.”  Jamie adds.

Dillon and Andreas turn slowly and leave, making their way down the hall to their room.

“Go talk to them.”  Sid says sternly.  “They looked like someone kicked them.”

“I should let them suffer for a while.  Talk to them in the morning.”

“Go.  Don’t be an asshole.”

Jamie debates.  Go or have Sid lecture him more.  He goes.  A minute later, he knocks on the guest room door.

“Come in.”  Dillon answers.

They are wandering around the room, picking things up.  A couple of suitcases sit on the bed.

“Going somewhere?”  Jamie questions.

“We, uh, we thought it best we move out.”  Dillon says softly, uncertain of how Jamie will react.

“Nonsense.”  Jamie says.  “Why would you do that.”

“Well, after today…”

“Yeah, about today.”  Jamie motions for them to sit down.  He waits, then stands in front of them.  “She’s five.  Yeah, she’s been skating almost before she could walk, but she’s still five.  And…  well… I forget that sometimes, too.  I play pretty rough with her on the ice, spinning her, sliding her around.  What I’m saying is… well… it could have happened when I was rough-housing with her just as easily.  Accidents happen.”

When neither of them said anything, Jamie continued.

“Sid and I also want to thank you for today, for, uh, for giving us some alone time.  We really needed it.  And that doesn’t have anything to do with you two being here.  It’s been a long season so far, and it’s only going to get tougher from this point on.  We’re in good shape, I think, to make a deep run into the post-season.  So, days off to just, uh, relax, are gonna be important.  And few and far between.”

Dillon and Andreas nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“Look, this time of year is hard enough.  And the playoffs are stressful.  Trying to make a new relationship work, especially one you are hiding from the public, is just about enough to drive you crazy.  Trust me, speaking from experience here.  Your teammates know, whether you’ve told anybody or not, they’re an astute bunch.  They know.  Not to worry, though, they’re also a very supportive bunch.”

A semi-horrified look crossed Andreas’ face when Dillon translated.  He shook his head, but Dillon seemed to offer reassurances that settled him back down.

“If you need to talk, come to Sid or me.  We’re here for you.  You’re part of the family now.  So, you aren’t going anywhere.  And if you need a day alone, just ask.  Sid and I can take Kylie and vacate the premises for the day.  Likewise, Sid and I may ask you to take Kylie again.  If that’s okay with you.”

“That would be great.”  Dillon smiled up at him, finally looking at ease. 

“Okay.  Come’ere.”  Jamie held his arms out wide, motioning for a hug.  “Group hug.”

Dillion and Andreas stood up and let Jamie wrap them up in an impromptu celebration hug. The three team mates stood in the hug for a short time before Jamie stepped back, sized the two rookies up and nodded as if to say 'my work here is done' before leaving. 

After he left, Dillon and Andreas just stood staring at each other, a bit dumbfounded.

 _“He didn’t yell?”_ Andy sounded confused.  _“He didn’t kill us?”_

 _“We’re family.”_ Dillon grinned.  _“Everything is good.”_


	17. Philadelphia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fourteen minutes into the second period of the game, Jamie’s dislike of all things Flyers was reaffirmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW this chapter for head injury, concussion, trade talk... remember.... all happy in the end so....

As is the case every season, trade talk and rumors picked up after the All-star game.  This year, Jamie was more concerned than he’d been any other year.  There was a new name being bantered around.  Brian Dumoulin.

Brian had assumed the position of number one defenseman when Kris retired.  He had signed a new contract two years ago that would probably take him through to his retirement.  He and Jamie thought Brian was set.  But, he’d been having a less than stellar year.  His salary was a big hit on the cap at 7.25 million a year.  And the Pittsburgh fans and media loved to stir shit up.  So, Brian’s name came up every time someone mentioned the trade deadline.

And it didn’t take long for the anxiety to start to build up in Jamie.

“This can’t be happening.  Do you think they’ll really trade him?  I mean, I know what Jim would have done, but Bob?  Bob’s still an unknown.”

“You can’t control what happens, baby boy.  It’s a business.  Players get traded.”  Sid acted as if it was no big deal, which just further irked Jamie.

“It’s Dumes, Sid.  Dumes.  This wouldn’t just be some player getting traded.  What the hell.”

“It’ll be fine.  You’ll be fine.  Whatever happens.”

“What if it was me?  Would you feel the same way if everyone wanted me traded?”

“That’s not the same.”

“It is to me.”  Jamie huffed.

“You’re saying Dumes is your husband?”  Sid retorted.  “I know you’re close, Jame, but no, it’s not the same.”

“What if they’d traded Kris?”  Jamie snapped back.  “When they were talking about it just before he retired.  Huh?  Wouldn’t that have upset you?”

“Yes.  It would.  But not like you getting traded.  I’d have missed him.  But life, hockey, the Pens… it would go on and it would have been okay.”

“You don’t get it, do you?  You just don’t get it.”  Jamie got up from the table where they’d been having lunch and stormed out of the kitchen.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By mid-February, the rumors had intensified to the point that it was almost becoming a distraction.  In addition to Brian, Hags’ name had come up, and Olli.  Jamie hated trade deadline time.  It was way too stressful most years and magnified beyond belief this year.  He was surprised he hadn’t heard his name or Sid’s mentioned. 

It wasn’t that anybody other than Brian was having a bad year, it was just that since the All-star game, the whole team had hit a slump.  They’d lost four in a row.  Four.  Which had dropped them into the third spot in the Metro.  And the fans wanted heads to roll.

They flew out on the sixteenth for a three-game road trip, a game in Philadelphia and then games in New York against the Rangers and Islanders.  Jamie hated Philadelphia.  Really hated Philadelphia.  Their fans were some of the worst in the league, willing to go after their own team as much as they were visitors.  And their players, well, except for a few, they were borderline goons, more interested in taking a cheap hit or hurting a guy than playing the puck at times.  As Sidney had once said in an interview, he didn’t like anyone on their team.

Fourteen minutes into the second period of the game, Jamie’s dislike of all things Flyers was reaffirmed.

Sid wins a face-off just outside the Pens’ zone, kicking the puck back to Brian, who sets up for a rush.  Jamie swings in unison with Sid and Andreas, turning to set up at the Flyers’ blue line.  Brian chips the puck in deep instead of trying to thread a pass direct to one of the forwards.  Jamie gives chase to the corner, getting to the puck just ahead of the Flyers’ winger.  He slaps it around the boards where he’s seen Sid heading towards the back of the net.

It’s like slow-motion every time the next scene plays out in Jamie’s brain.

Sid has his back to the defender, going for the puck.  Sid sends the puck further around the wall instead of playing it, hoping Olli will pick it up.  Sanheim keys on Sid, though, and not the puck.  The hit is brutal. Full-force into Sid’s back.  It will take replaying the video for others to be sure of what Jamie knows from the minute it happens.  Sanheim left his feet and drove his shoulder straight for Sid’s head.  Jamie watches helplessly as Sid slams into the glass and his head hits it and then snaps back before Sid crumples to the ice.

The rookie winger that had been on Jamie made a futile attempt to grab his arm and stop him.  Jamie easily shrugged him off.  He sent his gloves and stick flying as he launched himself across the ice.  He had Sanheim down and was pummeling him before the lineman could even react.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m not used to being on this side.”  Jamie said softly, rubbing his hands over his face.  He stood and paced around the small room where they were waiting for the doctor.

“It’s rough.”  Sully said.  “Waiting.”

Sid had gotten up, had skated off the ice with help.  They’d taken him to the hospital while Jamie showered and changed.  It wasn’t good, a severe concussion.  Sid was still in the emergency room when Jamie got there, and he say him briefly.  For the last hour, he’d been sitting in a waiting room while they did a CT scan and an MRI.

“It sucks.”

Sully had come after the game.  Brian and Flower had wanted to come, but management had sent them to New York with the rest of the team.  Well, Grummand had sent them on.  Sully had tried to get him to let Brian stay at least, for Jamie, but no deal.  And Mario wasn’t with them this trip to override the GM.

A few minutes later, the emergency room doctor came in and sat down in one of the chairs.  Jamie sat down next to Sully.

“He sustained a major hit to the head which caused a concussion.  He’s having trouble concentrating and with his short-term memory.  There is also a significant increase in light and noise sensitivity.  His tests show bruising and swelling, but no bleeds.  That’s good.  They’re moving him upstairs now.  Your team doctor is with him.  We’re going to keep him at least overnight and re-evaluate in the morning.  If he shows signs of improvement, we’ll transfer him back to UPMC in Pittsburgh.  You should expect him to spend a few days in the hospital, though.  Mostly for observation.”

Jamie didn’t ask any questions, he just dipped his head down and stared at the floor.

“Room?”  Sully asked.

“Forty-four oh six.”

The men stood.  Jamie and Sully thanked the doctor and shook his hand, then went in search of Sid’s room.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie flopped down on the bed in the hotel room, burying his head into a pillow.  He was exhausted, having not been to sleep in over 24 hours.  Brian came over and sat down on the edge of the bed next to him, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down Jamie’s back.

“Well?”

“They took him back to Pittsburgh.  By ambulance.  Fuck.”  Jamie turned his head to the side to look at Dumes.  His eyes were red, from lack of sleep and tears.

“How bad?”

“He’s having memory issues still.  God.  We had the same conversation over and over last night.  Where am I?  What happened?  Did we win?  Who did we play?  Where’s Kylie?  Why am I here?”

“Ouch.  That bad.”

“Yeah.  I wanted to just go home with him, ya know.  But by this morning he was a little better.  He said to come play, that he was fine.  That was right before he asked me where he was for the hundredth time.  Ugh.  God, Dumes.  This just sucks, being the one not hurt this time.”

“Yeah, it’s so much easier just lying in a bed and having everyone else be worried sick over you.”

“Hhmmpppfff” Jamie made a small huff.  “I know, seriously.  Mario called last night.  We talked.  This is the worst Sid’s had since he missed all that time.  Mario’s really worried.  He and Kris are gonna be at the hospital, though, when he gets there.  That’s good.  They both said they’d call.  Often.”

“You should have just gone home with him.”  Brian said.

“He insisted.”

“Yeah, and since when have you let that stop you from doing something?”  Brian chuckled softly.

“Grummand.”

“What?  What did Bob say?”

“Can’t have married players on the same team if you lose them both anytime one of them gets hurt.”

“He didn’t.”  Brian questioned in total disbelief.

“That’s what he told Flower.  And that Flower was to make sure I understood what it meant.”

“Fuck.  Asshole.”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe he’ll trade us together?”  Brian smirked.

“Not funny, Dumes.”  Jamie moaned, burying his face into the pillow again.  “Not funny.”

\------------------------------------------------------

After the win in Philadelphia, the Pens split the games in New York, losing to the Rangers and beating the Islanders.  They fly home to Pittsburgh and Jamie heads to UPMC instead of Sewickley.  When he gets there, he finds Sid’s room dark and quiet.  He slips in and pulls a chair up to the bed, trying not to wake Sid.  Just as he sits down, though, Sid’s voice comes from the bed.

“You should have gone home.  It’s got to be late.”

“About two.  I’d rather be here.  The boys went home.  And Luc and Diane were gonna keep Kylie for a few days for me anyway.  So, why not be here.”

“Right.”  Sid pats his hand on the bed.  “Snuggle?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.  Last I heard, motion was an issue.  Don’t want to rock the bed, ya know.”

“Whatever.  Do I at least get a kiss?”

Jamie stood and leaned over to give Sid a quick peck on the lips.

“Happy now?”  He laughed as he sat back down.  “Now go back to sleep.  I’m just gonna sit here for a while.”

“Kay.”

Jamie took Sid’s hand, his thumb brushing lightly over the back of Sid’s hand as he held it.

“Jame?”

“Yeah?”

“Why aren’t you coming to bed?”  Sid asked groggily.

“Cause I don’t want to shake your hospital bed.”

“Hospital bed?  Jame?”  Sid questioned.  “Why am I in the hospital?”

Jamie closed his eyes, his chest tightening.  It had been over 72 hours and the memory issues were still there.  It was getting better they said, but it was still there.

“You got hit, in Philadelphia, remember?  You have a concussion.”  Jamie said patiently.

“Oh, right.  Jame?”

“Yeah?”

“Come to bed.”  Sid started to scoot over.  He raised one hand to his temple and the other clamped tight around Jamie’s hand.  “Fuck.”

“See.  You need to not move around.  Just go to sleep.”  Jamie said, his voice shakey.

“But?”

“Sid.  Just go to sleep.”

Five minutes later, Jamie heard him stir again.

“Jame?”

“Sid?”

“Why aren’t you coming to bed?”

Jamie sighed.  He got up and climbed into the bed, stretching out next to Sid.  If he stopped resisting, maybe Sid would be able to get some sleep.  Sid rested his head on Jamie’s chest as Jamie wrapped an arm around Sid’s shoulder.  The bed really wasn’t big enough for both of them, but they shifted position to make it work.

Jamie brushed his hand through Sid’s hair, listening to him breathe softly, until he fell asleep, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey... so just curious... and yeah, insecure writer needing some affirmation... wondering how many people are still here that started with All of Me... drop me a comment... do you still like the story... thanks...


	18. Concussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s been two weeks.” Jamie complained to Brian as they unpacked their bags. “Two fucking weeks.”
> 
> “It takes time, Fluff. You know that, better than most people.” Brian said, always the voice of reason for Jamie. “Or would you rather he tried to rush back? Or play hurt? I mean, I don’t know anybody that would do that.”
> 
> “Ha ha.” Jamie mock laughed at him. “No. I don’t want him to be like me. God, how did he ever deal with that? With me?”
> 
> “I have no idea.” Brian snorted. “Saint Sidney.”

Thankfully, after the road trip, the Pens had three whole days off in Pittsburgh before their next game.  Sid came home on the second day, his memory issues getting better, but the other symptoms not so much.  Light was the biggest issue, as it had been during his first bad concussion.  Motion was an issue, too, which made the car ride home torturous for him.  Trina and Troy had come down from Cole Harbour to help, and Andy and Dillon did what they could do.  Kylie managed to get to school and her other activities.  There was food in the house whenever Sid felt like eating.  Laundry was done.

Jamie spent most of his time with Sid, camped out in the darkened master bedroom.  He skipped practices, with Sully’s blessing, on the compromise that he’d be at the pre-game morning skates.  Jamie even skipped his morning run for the first two days Sid was home.

On a positive note, Jamie thought, Sid remembered their anniversary which was his second day at home.  When Jamie went to get their lunch, he found the living room filled with carnations.  Trina just smiled and said Sid had told her to make sure they were there. 

The Pens next four games were in Pittsburgh, also a blessing at this point.  Jamie went to the games, played hard, then went home to Sid.  Two weeks to the day after the hit, Jamie had to fly out again for another stretch of road games.  Sid’s condition hadn’t really improved much.  Headaches and light sensitivity still high.

Jamie reluctantly packed his bags by the light filtering into the bedroom from the bathroom.  Sid was having a good day.  Sitting up with his back against the headboard, he watched Jamie wander back and forth from the dresser to his bag on the bed.

“Wish you weren’t going.”  Sid said forlornly.

“Wish you were coming with me.”  Jamie answered, just as forlornly.  “You’ll be in good hands though.  Kylie assured me she’d take great care of Papa while I’m gone.”

“How long’s this trip?”

“A week.  Dallas, Arizona, and Vegas.”

“Crap.  I’ll miss out on casino sex.”  Sid laughed.

“Crap.”  Jamie smiled at him.  “And casino sex is…”

“the best sex.”  Sid finished in unison with Jamie.

“You know it.”  Jamie snickered. 

“It’s gonna be a while before I’m feeling up to it.  You should hit Dumo up.”

“I don’t need to hit Dumes up.  I can manage.”

“I see you spending a lot of time in the shower over the next few weeks.”  Sid joked. 

Jamie shook his head and carefully climbed on the bed and straddled Sid’s legs, sitting gently on Sid’s thighs.  He reached out touched Sid’s cheek lightly.

“Maybe I’ll just spread myself out next to you here and put on a show.  Torment you a little with what you can’t have.  No touching.  Nothing but having to watch.”  He leaned in and brushed his lips against Sid’s, slowly letting the kiss deepen as much as Sid allowed.

“Torture.”  Sid mumbled.  “Brat.”

Jamie sat back and let his hands rest on Sid’s chest, fussing with the material of the t-shirt he was wearing.

“When’s your flight?”  Sid asked.

“A couple hours.”

Sid tapped the side of Jamie’s leg.  “You need to finish packing then.”

“I got time.”  Jamie shifted off Sid and stretched out on the bed next to him.  Sid scooted down and spooned up against Jamie, who draped his arm over Sid’s middle.

\---------------------------------------------------------

“It’s been two weeks.”  Jamie complained to Brian as they unpacked their bags.  “Two fucking weeks.”

“It takes time, Fluff.  You know that, better than most people.”  Brian said, always the voice of reason for Jamie.  “Or would you rather he tried to rush back?  Or play hurt?  I mean, I don’t know anybody that would do that.”

“Ha ha.”  Jamie mock laughed at him.  “No.  I don’t want him to be like me.  God, how did he ever deal with that?  With me?”

“I have no idea.”  Brian snorted.  “Saint Sidney.”

At least Jamie could stop worrying about Brian getting traded, at least for the immediate future.  The deadline had come and gone and Grummand hadn’t made any big moves.  The hockey world was still in shock over that fact.  And, for some reason, the trade talk hadn’t stopped after the deadline.  Everyone was sure that Brian and a few others would be on the block come the off-season, especially if the Pens missed the playoffs, or didn’t win it all.

“Yeah, he’s a saint.”  Jamie laughed. 

“Is he any better?”

“Some.  I guess.  It’s been the light issue this time.  I guess that was a big problem when he had that bad concussion before.  The memory thing is better, well, getting better.  Still a few times that he’ll ask about something he just asked about, that kind of thing, ya know.”  Jamie explained.  “I think the last two weeks have been the hardest on Kylie, though.”

“How’s she handling it?”

“Not so good.  She’s used to Sid being the one okay.  We’ve limited her time with him and that’s causing problems.  That and because I’m spending all my free time with him, she’s missing us both.  That’s another thing he does better than me, balancing his time between Kylie and me when I’m sick.””

“She’ll be okay.  Has lots of people taking care of her.”

“Yeah.  Cheese Dip has been a big help with the housework, surprisingly.  Grandparents looking after Kylie.  I’m not sure I’d manage without them.”

“You’d be fine.  You got this.”  Brian, always the cheerleader.

“Anyway.  This is going to be a long-ass trip.”  Jamie carried his toiletry bag into the bathroom and set it down on the countertop.  “I can’t even Skype him.”

“You’ll survive.”  Brian laughed. 

“Yeah.  But I won’t be happy.”

“We still invited out for dinner?”  Brian asked.  “Or is it just you?”

“Nah, they said to bring you.”  Jamie told him.  Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn had invited them for dinner.

“Excellent.”  Brian smiled.  “I don’t have to babysit you tonight at least.”

“Funny.”  Jamie said, tossing a pillow at Brian’s head.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time Jamie got home from the trip, Sid’s symptoms had improved.  The light sensitivity was gone.  The problem with motion was better.  There was a lingering headache that showed up when he was tired.  But for the most part, Sid felt he was on his way to recovery. 

Then he went and did a light workout.

And the symptoms returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and letting me know you're still here! Been struggling with writing of late and it's nice to get the feedback/support... you may go back to just reading and enjoying now... lol....


	19. A Decision and A Meltdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sid makes a decision about his future. Jamie doesn't handle it well.

It started with the road trip at the beginning of the month.  The Pens won the first game, then lost the next two. They came home for a four game stretch sitting in second place in the Metro.  Four losses later, they had slipped a rung down the ladder.

A six game losing streak, the longest of the season, was definitely not how they needed to start the last full month of the regular season.  With the playoffs looming, they needed to get their act together.

But then they lost seven.

And eight.

And all the while, Sid sat on the sidelines watching.  This concussion was acting funny, different than any other he’d had.  Such was the nature of concussions. 

He’d be symptom free, workout, and have to rest the next day because the symptoms would return.  The next day, they’d be gone, so he’d workout again, and they’d come back. Not only was Sid getting frustrated, but each set-back weighed on his mind for other reasons.

His worry about Jamie’s head injuries had turned into concern for his own future.  The way his body was reacting to this injury added to his list of reasons that it was time to hang up his skates.  His decision was made. He called Pat.

“Yeah, Pat, I’m sure.” 

Jamie heard Sid say as he came into the kitchen when he got home from practice. The boys had picked Kylie up and were taking her out for the afternoon, so they’d have the day to themselves.  It was a rest day for Sid, to see if the symptoms came back after he’d worked out yesterday.

Sid was sitting at the table talking on his cellphone.  Pat meant that Sid was talking to Brisson. Maybe Pat had gotten Sid’s contract settled.  

“No.  We’ll wait and make the announcement after the end of the season, whenever that is.  Yeah. No, I haven’t. He just got home, so I’m gonna tell him. What? No. Keep working on it.  Yeah, thanks Pat. I know. I never thought I would either. I’ll talk to you later, okay. Thanks.  Bye.”

Jamie listened to Sid’s half of the conversation as he puttered around the kitchen getting some juice and grabbing some cookies before he sat down at the table across from Sid.  A few things Sid said piqued his interest. 

“Brisson?”  Jamie questioned as he took a bite of cookie and pulled out his phone to check on a text from Brian.  “Contract set?”

“Um, yeah, it was Pat, but…”  Sid didn’t sound right, which made Jamie look up from his phone.

“But?  What?”

Sid’s eyes were focused on Jamie, the corners of his lips curved down slightly.  He looked sad.

“Sid?  What?” Jamie put his phone down.  “Oh fuck, Grummand doesn’t want me, does he.  He wants to trade me, is that it?”

The Pittsburgh press had started speculating that a Crosby trade would be coming in the off-season, especially if this current slide continued and the Pens didn’t make the playoffs.   Jamie was having an average year, his numbers slumping recently just like the team. And, Grummand had made no bones about his belief that any player on the team was available for the right price.  Sidney, Geno, Jamie, Brian all included.

“Fuck.  He isn’t trading you, is he?”  Jamie said when Sid didn’t respond.

“We need to talk.”  Sid finally said, his expression grim.  “I mean really talk.”

Jamie was worried now.

“Sid?”

“I’ve tried to tell you.  I tried when you got hurt, but you just kept joking about it and avoiding it.”

Fuck.  Fuck. Fuck.  Jamie’s heart started racing.  This was not what he wanted to hear.

“I’m done, Jame.  I’m retiring at the end of the season.”

“Not funny, Sid.”  Jamie tried to brush is off as a joke.

“See, you’re doing it again.  I’m serious. I’m done.” Sid reached across the table and rested his hand on Jamie’s.  “And I want you to retire, too.”

“You’re serious.”  Jamie’s head was spinning.

“Yeah, I am.  I’ve been debating with myself for months.  This…” Sid pointed to his head, “this made my decision easy.  So, whether I play again this season or not, I’m done when the Pens are done.”

“Why?  I don’t understand.  You love hockey. You still love playing.  You’re still one of the best. Why not stay a few more years.  Play out our careers together.”

“That’s why I want you to retire now.  With me. And the why? You know why. You’ve read the articles.  You’ve seen all the research. CTE. Dementia. Jesus, Jame, it’s got to scare the fuck out of you every time you get hit.  Is this going to be the one that does it? Is this going to fuck my brain up so much I won’t be able to take care of myself in a few years?”

Jamie shook his head.  “You don’t know that you’re going to have that.”

“I don’t know that we’re not.”  Sid sighed heavily. “And that scares me.  That’s why I think we should call Bob. Let him know what we’re going to do, so he can start planning for next season.”

Jamie pulled his hand back from Sid, slipping his hands down onto his lap and curling them into tight balls.  His back straightened and he glared defiantly across the table at Sid.

“What we’re doing?  What did you tell Pat about my contract?  Did you tell him not to bother?””

“I told him not to push things.”

“What the fuck?  No.” Jamie shook his head to emphasis his no.  “You don’t get to decide this for me.”

“Think about Kylie.  It’s bad enough she’d have to worry about one parent with dementia, but she’ll have to worry about both of us.  If we retire now, if you retire now, before you have another serious concussion, it reduces the risk.”

“No.”  

“You’ve had three, Jame.  Three serious ones. And how many others?  Five, six times I know you’ve gotten your bell rung and not said anything.  I should have pushed the issue before.”

“I haven’t…”

“Why do you do that?  Why do you lie about being hurt?”  Sid slammed his hands down on the table, making a loud thud.  “You act like it’s nothing.”

“I’m not ready to go.”  Jamie said. “I get it. It’s not nothing.  But you don’t know. You can’t say for sure what the future’s gonna bring.  I have this now.”

“Ya know, I can remember when you talked about walking away from hockey.  Walking away because of our relationship. Walking away to be a stay at home dad.  You were pretty willing to give up hockey for a lot of things, so why are you holding on to it so hard now?”

“Maybe I wasn’t so serious about walking away before.  Huh? Think of that? I was in a different place back then.  Jesus, I feel like my brain was more fucked up because of the depression and PTSD than it’s ever been with a concussion.”

“That doesn’t make sense…”  Sid interjected.

“Yeah, it does.  I’m at the top of my career Sid.  I’m healthy, mentally and physically.  I want to keep playing. Would you have retired at 27 is the roles were reversed?”

“Yes.”

“Now who’s lying?”  Jamie stood up and walked across the kitchen, pausing at the door. “All I ever wanted, it’s here, in Pittsburgh.  Kylie, you, our family. I never thought I could ever have all this. And the Pens. I don’t want to play anywhere else.  I’m home and I never want to leave.”

Jame turned and looked at Sid, his eyes clouded by the tears forming, but not yet falling. “If it comes to it, I’ll give Grummand my list of teams.  If they don't want me without you, I’ll take a trade. Or, if they won’t trade me, I’ll go UFA, Sid. I’ll hate it, but I’ll leave if I have to, to keep playing.”

Jamie walked out then.  Sid heard the front door open and close.  A few minutes later he stood looking out the front window as Jamie drove down the street.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

The game the next night was another shit show.  They were down by four goals at the end of the second period and on their way to their ninth loss in a row.  Jamie had already taken two unnecessary penalties that had resulted in power play goals, and he got his third with a minute twenty left in the period.

The Capitals power play didn’t need the whole two minutes.  With fifteen seconds left in the period, Burakovsky buried one in the net.  Jamie made the skate of shame across the ice to the bench, never stopped and went straight to the locker room.  Anyone near the tunnel heard the loud “fuck” that echoed through the corridors. They then heard the sound of sticks being broken.

As the rest of the team came off the ice, they did their best to avoid their Alternate Captain.  Jamie was in the hall just outside the locker room, pieces of broken stick everywhere. He had another stick in his hand and was winding up to take a swing, to slam it into the wall.

The only person other than Sid who’d be brave enough to approach him was Brian.  He stopped, waited for Jamie to smash this stick, then walked over and grabbed his arm as Jamie reached for yet another stick.

“Enough.”  Brian said quietly.  

Jamie snapped his head around, ready to go off on Brian.  He looked past him for a second, though, and caught Andreas and Dillon watching him, eyes wide, panicked looks on their faces.  Jamie stared at them.

“What the fuck are you looking at?  Get your asses in the room!” Jamie bellowed at them.  They darted for the locker room like scared rabbits.

“You need to stop.  Now.” Brian said. “What the hell is wrong with you tonight?”

“Nothing.  Leave me alone, okay.  Just fucking leave me alone.”  Jamie stormed down the hallway, Brian a step behind him.

“You know that’s not happening, Fluff.”  Brian pushed Jamie in the back, making him stumble.  Jamie caught himself before he fell, wheeling around and taking a swing at Brian.

Brian ducked the blow, and rushed at Jamie, grabbing him around the chest and driving him against the wall.  He held him down with his body weight, while his hands found Jamie’s wrists and pinned them to the wall as well.

“Fluff.  Stop. What the fuck are you doing?”  Brian held him tight while Jamie struggled to free himself.  “Just fucking stop.”

Jamie stopped struggling.  This time when he looked past Brian, his heart sank.  Estelle Fleury was standing there watching the two of them.

“Uncle Jamie?”  She said softly.

“Let go.”  Jamie said under his breath to Brian, nodding at Estelle.  “Let me go.”

Brian eased himself back, keeping a wary eye on Jamie.  He let go of Jamie’s wrists and raised his hands in surrender.  Jamie stood still for a second before he calmly walked off, passing Estelle without saying a word.  

Brian waited until Jamie had gone into the locker room before he walked over and pulled Estelle into a tight hug.  

“Uncle Brian?  What’s was that about?”

“I don’t know, honey.  I don’t know.”

Brian entered the room just in time to hear the end of Sully’s talk with Jamie, who he’d pulled aside.

“I don’t give two fucks what you think, you’re done for the night.  Take a shower and cool off. Then get out of here. If we have this chat tonight, you’re not gonna like what I have to say.  We’ll discuss this tomorrow.”

Jamie saw Brian standing by the door.  He dropped his head as Sully walked away, then sulked into one of the trainer’s rooms to wait until the locker room cleared out.  Brian let him go. Like Sully, he didn’t want to have this discussion with Jamie while Jamie was in his current mood.

 


	20. Talk Number One:  Sullivan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You knew one day this would happen. You’re ten years younger than Sid. He was probably never going to play for your whole career. But, you don’t need him anymore. You’re ready to be out front, to be the star. This can be as much your team going forward as it’s been Sid’s team to this point.”
> 
> “I don’t know.”
> 
> “If you’re really not ready to walk away, then don’t. I can see Sidney’s point and his concerns. I worry about it all the time with you, and him. I worry about Tanger’s future. Every player I’ve ever coached. But when it comes right down to it, it’s your decision. Nobody can make it for you. If you stay, things need to change, though. You have to get your head out of your ass. You need to show me that you can do this without Sidney. That you are that strong, determined young man I saw nine years ago.”
> 
> “You have that much confidence in me?”
> 
> “Yes.”

Mike Sullivan pulled in the the back lot at UPMC Lemieux and parked in his usual spot.  He noticed both Crosby vehicles already there. He wasn’t sure what to make of that, but it was probably a clue as to what was going on with Jamie.  He’d known Jamie long enough to know this wasn’t just about the team going through a slump, or Jamie’s play over the last few weeks. This more than likely involved Sid, and Sid’s current injury.

He walked to his office, passing a few of the coaches who offered morning greetings, but no information on his two star players.  He ran into Dillon coming out of the changing room.

“Jamie is on the ice already.  Rink two. Sid’s with Tanger skating on rink one.”  The rookie offered without being prompted. Sully just nodded his head and thanked him.

Sid being on the ice was a good sign, the next step in his rehab.  He must have had a good day the day before, which meant no symptoms for four days in a row.    

Sully didn’t stop in his office, but instead kept walking out to the rinks.  He waved at Sid and Kris as he walked around the end of the main rink, the made his way to where Jamie was skating.  Jamie was hammering one-timers at the empty net. He was missing more than he was hitting, the loud pings of the puck against the posts or the smack of the puck against the glass echoing through the empty arena.

“Hey”  Sully called out.  

When Jamie looked up, Sully nodded towards the locker rooms, then turned and walked away.  Jamie rounded up his pucks, put them in a bag and slowly made his way to his coach’s office.

“Close the door.”  Sully said without looking up from his paperwork.

Jamie closed the door behind him and sat down in a chair across the desk from Sully.  The coach made him sit there and wait several minutes before he finally looked up from his papers.

“Well?”

Jamie shrugged.

“You’ve never kept things from me, not from the first time I met you.  So don’t just shrug your shoulders at me now. What’s going on?”

“I just had a bad night.”

“Bad nights don’t result in five broken sticks and you almost punching your best friend.”

“Is there gonna be any fallout?  A fine? Suspension? Whatever you want to do is fine.”  Jamie sat slouched in the chair, looking detached from the conversation.  “Just dole it out and I’ll get out of here.”

“Stop being an asshole.  Are you and Sid having problems?  Does this have to do with him being injured?  You not doing so well with it?”

“No.  Sid’s getting better.  Things are fine.”

“And you’ve not lied to me about personal things before.  Don’t start now.” 

Jamie sat up, his demeanor changing, becoming more defiant.

“He’s retiring.  Did you know? Did you know he was even thinking about it?”

“He’s talked to me a few times.  Yes.” Sully said calmly. “He’s ten years older than you, Jamie.  You had to expect this day would come, that he’d retire before you.”

“The fucker wants me to retire, too.  Did he tell you that?”

“That may have come up once or twice, yes.”

“And?”

“And what?”

Jamie threw his hands up in exasperation.  “Jesus. And what do you think? You think I should retire?”  Jamie glared at Sully. “You do! You fucking agree with the fucking fucker!”

“No.  I don’t”  Sully stated calmly, matter-of-factly.  “At least, not because Sid wants you to.  And, I told him that.”

“Fucker thinks he can control my life.  Always has. I’m his fucking husband, not his fucking child.  Doesn’t he get that?”

“Jamie.”

“What?”

“He’s worried about you because you are his husband.  Worrying. Wanting you to be okay. That’s not controlling you.  It seems to me, you’ve always done pretty much whatever you wanted, and to hell with what Sid thought or did.”

“That’s how you see it?  Not how I see it.”

“You’re scared.  Aren’t you?” Sully leaned forward, his elbows resting on his desk, his hands clasped together in front of him.  “You’re scared of having to play without Sid.”

“I’m not.  I’ve played without him before.  He missed all those weeks when he broke his arm.”

“No.  That was different.  You knew he’d be back.  You knew the arm would heal.  You’re not so sure now, about his concussion.  You’re not used to being on this side, having to wait and worry and wonder if he’s going to be okay.  And now, he’s sprung this on you. He’s leaving hockey, and there’s no more certainty that he’ll be back, no security that you’ll have Sid here.  You’ll have to do this on your own.” Sully sat back in his chair and took in the panicked look on Jamie’s face as his words hit home. “And you’re scared to death.”

Jamie shifted nervously in the chair.

“I’m right.  You’re scared of not having Sidney here.”

“No.  That’s not…”  Jamie started to protest, to tell Sully he was off-base.  He stopped.

“What?”

“It’s…  it’s like losing Kicks.  But… not. And Dumes. Fucking hell, Grummand’s gonna trade him this summer.  Can see that coming. And then, what? What do I do? What if Grummand doesn’t want me if Sid’s not playing.  I mean, I know he’s said that having both of us creates problems, but that doesn’t mean he’ll keep me if Sid’s gone.  I think he’d rather Sid stay and I go. And, I know Geno would be here. And other guys, but it wouldn’t be the same as having Sid.  Or having Dumes. And I don’t know. I don’t know if I can do it.” Everything that had been weighing on Jamie since the beginning of February came out in a jumbled rush.  “And yeah, I’m scared Sid’s not gonna recover from this concussion. He’s right. I worry about that shit. But I try not to, cause if I did, I’d end up back in some dark place and I don’t want that.  And fuck. What if my eggs are scrambled, too. I mean. He’s right. How many times have I lied my way out of missing games. Hidden shit. You know. I just…”

“Jamie.  Whoa. Jamie.  Take a breath.”   Sully said.

“What if…”

“Jamie.”

Jamie froze, mid-sentence.  

“One thing at a time.  Okay. Let’s slow down and take it one thing at a time here.”

Jamie nodded.

“Okay.  Grummand doesn’t want to trade you.”

“How do you… okay… stupid question.  But then why wouldn’t he talk to Brisson about me until he had Sid wrapped up?”

“Because.  He needed to know if Sid would be here, or, “  Sully smiled. “If he’d need to figure in the fact that you’d be the Captain next year into your contract.”

Jamie jerked back in the chair, stunned.  “Get the fuck out!”

Sully leaned back in his chair, a wide grin spread across his face as he enjoyed the stunned, shocked look on Jamie’s face.

“I told you three years ago I was grooming you for a leadership role.”  Sully smirked. 

“Fuck.  I never…  fuck.” Jamie said in disbelief.  “You’re shittin’ me, right? Grummand wants me, wants that?”

“He’d like to keep Sidney.  But, if that doesn’t happen, he’d like you to think about the captaincy.”

“Geno should be the next captain.”  Jamie offered, still shaking his head in amazement.

“Geno doesn’t want it.  It’s already been discussed.  He and Sidney have talked.”

“They’ve what?  Fucking hell, did everybody know Sid’s been thinking about this but me?”

“Come on, you honestly didn’t know?  He said he’s been trying to tell you for months now, that he’d been thinking of going.  You really didn’t know?”

Jamie dipped his chin to his chest.  Sullen. 

“I didn’t want to believe it.  So, I ignored it.”

“Typical.  Anyway. That’s also what prompted a lot of the trade talk.  Bob was thinking of bringing on another top center, someone with experience who could step in as captain if you left as well.  Brian would bring that kind of return.”

Jamie nodded slowly.

“He still might do it.  Last night’s little blow-up didn’t sit well with him.  His words, that’s not how a leader acts.” Sully sat forward again, his face taking on a serious expression.  “That and your play lately.”

“Players have slumps.”  Jamie gave the standard excuse.  “As for not being a leader, even the best of them have bad nights.”

“This was more than just that.  You let your personal life affect your game.  I know that happens, but you completely lost it.  This isn’t the first time that’s happened either, Jamie.  It’s been an issue your whole career. If you’re going to lead this team, you’ll need to get your attitude under control.”

“And if I don’t want that responsibility?”

“I think it’s too late for that.  The team needs you to step up. To be there for them.  Everybody is feeling the effects of Sid’s absence. Everybody’s worried about him and what the impact of losing him could be.  They need leadership. They need stability even if things are changing. Do you understand that? That’s what’s going on. This slump.”

“We’re playing like shit.”

“No. Not we. You.  You’re playing like shit.  And it’s filtering down. They don’t see you stepping up.  You, of all people. You, who are missing having Sid here the most and who should be stepping up to fill that gap, because you wear an A, because of who you are, because of your name.  They’re looking to you and you aren’t there.”

“I’m not their savior.”  Jamie hung his head again, refusing to look up, to see the disappointment in Sully’s face.  

“That’s the scared rookie talking.  Didn’t you learn anything after the Olympics?  You aren’t Jamie Marsh. You aren’t Sidney Crosby’s husband.  You’re Jamie Crosby, one of the best players in the NHL, a four-time Stanley Cup winner.  You. You’re the hot commodity in the upcoming free agent extravaganza. There are a lot of teams hoping you decide not to sign with the Pens.  They’d love to get a shot at signing you. You’re in a spot to write your ticket for the future, a long, lucrative contract with any team you want.”

“That’s not me.”

“It is.  You use your last name less than Sidney does, but I’m telling you that at this point of your career, it holds more clout to be Jamie Crosby than it does to be Sidney Crosby.”  Sully continued. “You just need to start acting like the veteran you are. Like the leader I know you can be. I know what’s inside, Jamie. It’s the kid who fought through a shit ton of adversity to play.  The strength that took, that’s what you need to fall back on now.”

Jamie closed his eyes, taking in his coach’s words, mulling them over in his head.  

“You knew one day this would happen.  You’re ten years younger than Sid. He was probably never going to play for your whole career.  But, you don’t need him anymore. You’re ready to be out front, to be the star. This can be as much your team going forward as it’s been Sid’s team to this point.”

“I don’t know.”

“If you’re really not ready to walk away, then don’t.  I can see Sidney’s point and his concerns. I worry about it all the time with you, and him.  I worry about Tanger’s future. Every player I’ve ever coached. But when it comes right down to it, it’s your decision.  Nobody can make it for you. If you stay, things need to change, though. You have to get your head out of your ass. You need to show me that you can do this without Sidney.  That you are that strong, determined young man I saw nine years ago.”

“You have that much confidence in me?”

“Yes.”

Jamie let that all sink in.  He shifted in his seat, leaning forward to mirror Sully’s posture.

“About Brian.”

“When you talk to Bob, about your contract, take that Crosby name out for a spin.”  Sully winked at him.

Jamie smiled.  “Okay. Whatever that means.”

“You’ll figure it out.  Now, how we feeling? Better?”

“Not really.”  Jamie admitted, sitting back.  “About last night.”

“Yeah.  About that.  A 1500 dollar fine.  For busting up the sticks.  Two of them weren’t yours.”

“I thought I grabbed…” Jamie started to protest, but Sully held up a hand to stop him.

“And... you owe your rookies an apology for snapping.  You traumatized them, and not in the fun way you and Sid like to do when you torment the kids.  They were hurt. And worried.”

“I’ll talk to them.  Buy them ice cream or something.  They’ll be fine.” Jamie waved his hand in the air nonchalantly.

“As for you and Dumoulin.  I think you owe him an apology, too.”

“Yeah.  He puts up with a lot, huh.”

“More than Sid sometimes.”  

“I think.”  Jamie paused.  “I think I’m more afraid of losing him than of losing Sid.  Does that make sense.”

“Yep.  That’s why I said to flex a little muscle in your negotiations.”

“I don’t?”

“I can’t say any more.”

“Okay.  I’ll figure it out.”  Jamie smiled, finally starting to relax a little.  “Thanks.”

“First things first.  We need to make the playoffs.  Only a few weeks left. Can I count on you?”

Jamie stood up and stuck his hand out.  Sully stood and took it, shaking it slowly.

“I’ll try.”

“All I can ask.”  Sully smiled. “Now go get ready for practice.”


	21. Talk Number Two:  The Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys looked a little confused at first, but then both nodded eagerly in agreement as they handed the menus back to Carole without even having looked at them.
> 
> “Make it four.” Jamie chuckled, then ordered their drinks. “And, um, an ice tea with lemon, two Cokes, and a lemonade.”
> 
> “Be right back with your drinks.”
> 
> As she walked away, Jamie leaned forward and rested his hands on the table. Dillon and Andreas sat back, looking again like frightened rabbits.
> 
> “I’m sorry I snapped at you last night. Things had just built up and, well, I came a little unglued.”
> 
> “It’s okay. You are under a lot of stress right now.” Dillon sounded more apologetic than Jamie.

After practice, Jamie offered to give Andreas and Dillon a ride home since they’d ridden in with Sid.  He promised not to yell at them. Somewhat apprehensive, they reluctantly agreed. He told them he just had to make one quick stop before they left.

Jamie knocked on the door to Flower’s office.

“Yeah?”  Came a soft voice from inside.  “Dad’s not here. Try the weight room.”

“I’m looking for you.”  Jamie replied. 

Cautiously the door opened.

“What?”  Estelle asked through the slight opening.  The disappointment and hurt in her expression just about killed him.

“I came to say I’m sorry.  About last night, the way I acted.”  Jamie offered his apology, hands on his heart.

“Whatever.”

“I was mad at the world.  Uncle Sidney’s injury. The losing streak.  I know it wasn’t the right way to act, and I’m sorry you had to see it.  That I upset you.”

“You were gonna hit Dumo.”  Stelly said. “He’s your best friend.  That would be like Dad hitting Tanger. He’d never act that way.”

“I know.  I’m sorry, girlie girl.  I’m having a hard time right now.  I sure could use a hug.” He tilted his head to the side, looking all puppy-dog innocent.  He counted on his girl not being able to stay mad at him.

Slowly the door opened wider and she stepped out into his waiting arms.  Jamie picked her up off her feet and twisted back and forth as he hugged her tightly.

“That’s the stuff.”  He said as she wrapped her arms around him.  He put her back down and leaned back. “I’m taking the Cheese Dip for ice cream.  You wanna come?”

Stelly took her phone out and texted her dad a quick message, then walked hand-in-hand with Jamie to the parking lot. 

Andreas and Dillon waited by Jamie’s Jeep for them.  They were in the middle of a rather intense discussion.

“Problem boys?”  Jamie inquired, clicking the key to unlock the doors.

“Are we stopping to sign autographs?”  Dillon questioned.

“You don’t want to?  It’s a Sid thing, gotta stop.”  Jamie said, then he looked over at Andreas.  “You don’t want to?”

“Andy just, he isn’t always comfortable stopping.”  

“And you?”  He asked Dillon.

“I don’t mind.  When with you. They are a little more polite than when it is Sidney.”

Jamie knew that was true.  He made them tow the line and behave, no pushing, shoving or crowding to get near the vehicle.  They swarmed Sid’s Rover most of the time, though. Okay, all the time really. Jamie remembered that overwhelming feeling that came with that kind of rush.  

“Tell you what.  You guys wait here.  I’ll go walk the line and then come back.  That work?”

Both rookies nodded.  

“Stell, you get to pick the music.”  Jamie told them as he walked off. “Make them sit in the back.”

After he was done, Jamie came back and they headed out.  When he went straight across Rt. 19 instead of heading south like he was taking Estelle home, the boys were confused.  Then Jamie pulled into Primanti’s and parked.

“Thought we’d grab a bite.  If that’s okay.” He knew it would be, the two youngsters were bottomless pits when it came to food.

“Hey, Carole.”  Jamie greeted the waitress who came to seat them.  “Usual booth okay?”

She nodded and grabbed some menus for them as Jamie led the group to a corner booth.

“I don’t need a menu.”  Jamie said as he slid in the booth next to Estelle.  Andy and Dillon slid into the seat across the table.

“The usual then?”  Carole smiled.

“Nah, I think I’m going straight for dessert today.  How ‘bout a big brownie sundae.” Jamie winked at Estelle.  “You gonna share, Stelly?”

“Of course not.”  She laughed.

“Make it two.”  He held up two fingers.  “Boys?”

The boys looked a little confused at first, but then both nodded eagerly in agreement as they handed the menus back to Carole without even having looked at them.

“Make it four.”  Jamie chuckled, then ordered their drinks.  “And, um, an ice tea with lemon, two Cokes, and a lemonade.”

“Be right back with your drinks.”

As she walked away, Jamie leaned forward and rested his hands on the table.  Dillon and Andreas sat back, looking again like frightened rabbits.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you last night.  Things had just built up and, well, I came a little unglued.”

“It’s okay.  You are under a lot of stress right now.”  Dillon sounded more apologetic than Jamie.

“Yeah.  I am. But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you guys.”  Jamie went on. “I want you to know how much it’s helped, having you at the house.  Watching Kylie for us, cleaning, laundry. You’ve done a lot.”

Jamie paused when Carole brought their drinks back.  Once she left, he continued.

“I want to make sure you both know that what happened, my stress, last night, it has nothing to do with you staying with us.  I’m just, well, things are going on that I’m not dealing with so well. And, again, I don’t mean to take it out on you. You’re just kind of caught in the crossfire.”

“You mean Sid retiring.”  Andreas offers. Jamie’s impressed at how much his Engish has improved as it dawns on him Dillon hasn’t been translating.  Then Andy’s comment makes it’s way past that thought.

“Wait?  How do you?”

“Would have to be blind to not know that.”  Dillon says. “He been talking about it all season.”

“Am I the only one who didn’t know this?”  Jamie turns to look at Estelle who smiles and nods.  “You know, too?”

“Yep.  He’s been talking to Dad”  She confirms.

“I think you didn’t want to believe it.  You ignore it.” Dillon says. “If you do, it’s not real.  It just goes away.”

“Land of denial.”  Andy adds.

Jamie sat back in the booth, his brow furrowed, slowly a crooked smile spread across his face.  They knew. He didn’t have to worry about maybe letting the cat out of the bag. 

“He’s retiring at the end of the season.  Whether his season is already done is the other issue.”

“He said skating today went well.  He felt good after he got off the ice.”  Dillon told him.

Jamie hadn’t talked to Sid since he’d left the house two nights earlier.  He’d come home, he’d just not talked to Sid, and he’s been sleeping on the couch.  Hard for the boys not to notice that.

“That’s, uh, that’s good.”

Their sundaes arrived and they dug in.

“What about your extension?”  Dillon asked.

“That seems to still be up in the air.”  Jamie admitted. “But, whatever is going to be whatever.  We need to concentrate on the rest of this season. Get out of this slump.  Make the playoffs.”

The rest of their conversation as they polished of the huge sundaes centered on that topic.  By the time they left, Jamie felt that things were mended with the other three. That left just two people to talk to about things, Brian… and Sid.


	22. Talk Number Three:  Dumes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Feeling better today?” Brian asked, looking up from his shot when he heard Jamie. “Grab a stick.”
> 
> “I’m sorry.” Jamie spoke softly as he retrieved one of his sticks, kept here for pick-up games. “For last night.”
> 
> “Eh. Figured something was coming. Have seen it building up in you the last few weeks.” 
> 
> “You didn’t say anything sooner?”
> 
> “Sid said you weren’t in the listening to reason mood.” Brian smirked. “He was right.”

It wasn’t like Jamie had avoided Brian at practice, but he’d avoided Brian at practice.  Now it was time to face that music. He didn’t think Brian would be mad at him, or upset at all, it was just that Brian wouldn’t hold anything back.  Jamie was in for the lecture he’d expected from Sully but didn’t get. Or, so he thought.

He took Estelle home and dropped the boys off at the house.  He told them to tell Sid he’d be home later. Then he drove to Brian’s.

“Hey, Kayla.”  Jamie said when Brian’s wife opened the door.  “He home?”

Kayla nodded and moved aside so Jamie could step into the house.  She didn’t look any too happy with him.

“He’s in the basement.  Hitting pucks.” Kayla motioned towards the stairs to the basement.  “There are times I don’t know why he puts up with you.”

“I know.”  Jamie ducked his head sheepishly. 

“Good thing he loves you.”  She smiled and laid a hand gently on his shoulder.

Jamie smiled weakly.  He made his way down to the basement.

“Feeling better today?”  Brian asked, looking up from his shot when he heard Jamie.  “Grab a stick.”

“I’m sorry.”  Jamie spoke softly as he retrieved one of his sticks, kept here for pick-up games.  “For last night.”

“Eh.  Figured something was coming.  Have seen it building up in you the last few weeks.”  

“You didn’t say anything sooner?”

“Sid said you weren’t in the listening to reason mood.”  Brian smirked. “He was right.”

“Right.”  Jamie shot the puck Brian slid him, it banged off the wall behind the net.  “Did you know?”

“That he’s retiring?  Yeah. He told me.”

“So, I’m the fool.  The idiot that didn’t know what everybody else said was pretty obvious all season.”

“You didn’t want to see it.”  Brian said, passing another puck to Jamie.  “I’m guessing you’ve heard that from several people today.”

“Yeah.”  Jamie wound up and slapped the puck, missing the net again.

“Oh for two, Fluff.  You aren’t doing better today, are you?”

“Not really.  Sully and I talked.  I apologized to Stelly, and the Cheese Dip.  They all knew.” Jamie took his stick over and put it with the others, then went and sat on the couch at the far end of the room.  He looked defeated. Head down. Shoulders slouched. “Why do things have to change? Just when everything’s going good. Bam.”

Brian slapped a couple of pucks in the net then tossed his stick down and went to sit with Jamie.

“What’s the real problem?”  He asked. “It’s not Sid retiring.”

“No.”  Jamie sighed.  “It’s a lot of things.”

“Okay.  Start at the top.”

“Sid.  Not the retiring, but the concussion.  He’s kind of convinced were both gonna end up with dementia, or something, because of the concussions.”

“That’s a risk.  Of course, I’m not so sure you aren’t already suffering from some of that.”  Brian snickered and nudged his shoulder against Jamie’s.

“Ha ha.  Not funny.”  Jamie pushed back.

“Sorry.  It’s something we all have to think about.  And it doesn’t help that there is so much unknown about it.  One hit? Repeated hits. I think it’s much more prevalent in football.  But yeah, we need to worry about it, too.”

Jamie shrugged.

“Look.  If it’s gonna happen it’s gonna happen.  Yeah, you could retire now, too, and it wouldn’t matter.  You could have a heart attack and drop over tomorrow.”

“Wow, aren’t you just a ray of sunshine there Dume-ass.”

“What I’m saying is that nobody knows for sure what their future is going to be.  Life is uncertain and goes by fast. And while you can try and plan for the future, you really need to live in the present.  And your present and Sid’s present aren’t always going to be in sync. Marriage is working out those differences.”

Jamie turned his head and tipped it back, giving Brian a dubious look.

“That’s pretty deep there, frat boy.  When did you get so philosophical?”

“Hey, I’m not just a pretty face.”  Brian laughed. 

“You’re not even that.”  Jamie snorted.

“Ha ha.”  Brian smacked Jamie’s thigh.  “What else ya got for Dr. Dumoulin.”

“They, uh, they want me to be captain.”  Jamie said hesitantly.

“That’s great!  Holy shit, way to go, Fluff!”  Brian exclaimed happily. 

“Uh, no.  Not great.  Jesus, I’m not a leader.  Definitely not captain material.”

“Bullshit.”

“Why’s everyone so sure of that?  Shouldn’t I know myself better than anybody?”

“You’re a conundrum Jamie Crosby.” 

“Why?  I’m not.”

“There are times you ooze confidence, on the ice and off.  And then there’s this Jamie, who doubts everything about his life.”

Jamie thought about that for a few seconds before responding.  “Isn’t that most people, though? I think everybody doubts themselves at some point.”

“Yeah.  But you do it when things are at their best in your life.  Like, you don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve good things happening to you.  It’s part of your depression, and stuff. It’s been some time since you’ve done it, what the Olympics I think.  People who don’t know you don’t see it. You’re very good at putting on a show of confidence or hiding things… injuries… ahem… but Sid, and me, we see right through you.”

“You think…”  Jamie started, but Brian cut him off.

“I think that it’s a part of who you are.  Of what makes you, you. And you know why you do it.  Where this comes from. Like I said, it’s not as bad as it was those first couple of years when you came to Pittsburgh, but it rears its ugly head every now and then.  It’s like, you’re afraid of letting yourself be too happy. Afraid it’s all gonna get taken away from you.”

Jamie flopped his head back onto the top of the couch cushion and stared blankly at the ceiling.

“Am I right?”  Brian questioned after giving Jamie time to digest his words.

Jamie closed his eyes.  Slowly he nodded his head.  “You’re right.”

“Aha.  Chalk another one up for Dr. D.”  Brian nudged Jamie in the side. “Now, we just need to figure out what to do about it.”

“I can do it without Sid.”  Jamie said softly. He opened his eyes and rolled his head to the side, looking at Brian dejectedly.  “I can’t do this without you.”

“Yeah, about that.  You’re gonna have to.”

Jamie sat up with a jolt.  “What?”

“Bob told my agent that he was free to try and broker a trade for the off-season.  All on the QT right now, but if he found a team and a good deal, Bob would listen. That way I wouldn’t go just anywhere.”  Brian said grimly.

“Fuck.  Fuck. Fuck.”  Jamie swore. “Fuck Bob Grummand.  Fucking fucker.”

“Well, we aren’t all star forwards, future captains, with a big ‘ole no-trade-clause in our contract.”  Brian laughed. “Trades happen, Fluff. Part of the game.”

“Fuck that.”  Jamie snapped.  “How can you sit there and act so calm.”

“I can’t do anything about it, Jame.  So why get upset now. Hopefully, it’s a couple of months away.  And hopefully, I leave with another cup.”

“You’re the best d-man on the team.  You’re a leader. Much more than me. You should be the captain, and instead, that fucker is going to trade you?  In what way does that even make any sense?”

“Jame.  Relax. It’s gonna be okay.  You’ll be fine.”

“No.  This can’t.  No. I can’t lose you and Sid at the same time and them expect me to just be okay and step into the captaincy and act like it’s all just part of the job and…”

“Fluff.”

Jamie stopped rambling.

“It’s gonna be okay.  You’ll be fine. You’ll have Geno.  And Tanger and Flower will be coaching.  You’ll do great as the captain.”

Jamie shook his head.  This was what he worried about.

“You know what you said.  About just when things are going great, wham, it all gets taken away from me.  This. This is why I think that way. Cause it’s fucking true. It’s what happens.  Every fucking time.”

“I’m not getting past that today, am I?”  Brian sighed.

“Nope.  Not today.”  

“Fine.  Then let’s move on.  What else ya got?”

“That’s it.  That’s all I got.”  Jamie looked back up at the ceiling.  “Except, I feel bad for taking a swing at you last night.”

“No you don’t.  You’d feel bad if you’d hit me.  I would have pounded your ass.” Brian chirped.  “You a lover not a fighter.”

“Asshole.”  Jamie swatted at him, half-heartedly.  “Just for that, I took the kids out for ice cream.  Was gonna see if you wanted to go. But not now.”

“You took them already?  And you were gonna go again?  With me?” Brian’s eyes widen in awe.  “Damn. You are having a shitty time. Wallowing in ice cream?”

“I took them as an apology.”  Jamie corrected him, but the guilt on his face was blatantly obvious.

“Uh huh.  That’s what they’ll think.  But I know the truth. You’re drowning your sorrows in brownie sundae.”  Brian teased.

“Fine.  Yes. I am.”  Jamie huffed as he admitted it.

Brian laughed, bending over and almost falling off the couch.  Jamie picked up a pillow and whacked him on the back..

“Asshole.”

Brian slowly brought himself back under control, he stood up and stuck his hand out.  Jamie took it and Brian pulled him up off the couch.

“Come on, Fluff.  We have some chocolate peanut butter.  Will that suffice?”

“Chocolate syrup, too? And, a cherry?”  Jamie tipped his head to the side.

“I think we can do that.”  Brian smiled. He slipped an arm over Jamie’s shoulder and led him upstairs.

Jamie tried not to think about his best friend getting traded.  Regardless of what Brian said, it wasn’t going to be okay.


	23. Going in Different Directions... Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I told you, I have everything I want right now. Here. With you and Kylie. We’ve gotten here together, you and me. Together. Remember that word?”
> 
> “Yeah.” Sid took Jamie’s hand and held it in his lap, rubbing his thumb lightly over the back of it. “Together, baby boy. You and me.”
> 
> “And so far, we’ve been on the same path. But now, we’re gonna take separate paths for a while. And, that’s okay. We don’t have to be going in opposite directions, trying to pull each other our way. We can be, we are, still headed in the same direction, side by side, together.”
> 
> “That’s a way of looking at it, I suppose.” Sid smiled. “What wise man told you that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at the request of my most amazing muse... Sid and Jamie finally get a little sexy time...
> 
> thank you @heyheyhockeytown you are the best!
> 
> hope you enjoy...

Jamie stayed well into the evening at the Dumoulin’s. There was a lot of talking, Brian had always been the person who could get through to Jamie when no one else could. Jamie also spent time playing with Olivia and Orrie.  A little ball hockey with the youngsters took his mind off things.

By the time Jamie got home, it was late, and the house was dark.  He turned on a light in the living room and found Sid sitting on the couch.  Waiting.

“Hey.  Didn’t expect you to still be up.”  Jamie sat down next to him.

“I was wondering,” Sid said, barely audible, “if you were going to sleep on the couch again tonight.”

“I don’t know.”  Jamie answered honestly.  “Guess that all depends on you.”

“Okay.”  Sid didn’t argue, he just started to get up.  Jamie reached for his arm, stopping him.

“Wait.  I wasn’t planning on it.”

“I heard about last night.  From several people. Want to give me your side of the story?”

“I had a meltdown.”  Jamie shrugged. “It happens sometimes.”

“Because of me.”

“Well, yeah, you are the cause of my meltdowns… sometimes.”  Jamie chuckled.

“And this time?”  Sid continued in a serious tone.

“No.  You weren’t the cause.  At least not the only one.”  Jamie said solemnly. Clearly Sid wasn’t in the mood for jokes. “I found out a few things today.  Seems I’ve had blinders on all season, with a pair of rose colored glasses, too.”

“Oh?” 

“Everybody else knew and has accepted that you’re retiring.”

“I’ve tried…”

“I know.  And if my glasses have been rose colored, yours have been painted black.”  Jamie said.

“What do you mean by that?”  Sid questioned.

“A wise man pointed out to me that we have no way of knowing what our future holds, so why worry about it so much.  Or expect the worst. We should just enjoy what we have now.”

“I don’t know about that, but okay.”  Sid said skeptically. “Go on.”

“I told you, I have everything I want right now.  Here. With you and Kylie. We’ve gotten here together, you and me.  Together. Remember that word?”

“Yeah.”  Sid took Jamie’s hand and held it in his lap, rubbing his thumb lightly over the back of it.  “Together, baby boy. You and me.”

“And so far, we’ve been on the same path.  But now, we’re gonna take separate paths for a while.  And, that’s okay. We don’t have to be going in opposite directions, trying to pull each other our way.  We can be, we are, still headed in the same direction, side by side, together.”

“That’s a way of looking at it, I suppose.”  Sid smiled. “What wise man told you that?”

“Some frat boy.  I was really surprised at how wise he can be.  Gotta be Kayla’s influence.” Jamie laughed, then he paused.  “You’re being awfully agreeable. What gives?”

“A couple of wise men had a rather serious chat with me today, too.”

“Don’t suppose they had French-Canadian accents.”  Jamie snorted. Leave it to Flower and Tanger to straighten Sid out.

“One did.”  Sid smiled wryly.

“Get out!”  Jamie exclaimed.  “The boys?”

“I was a bit shocked, but yeah.  Andy and Dils had some surprisingly wise advice.  Said I should quit trying to mother hen you and be your husband instead.”

“That is wise.”  Jamie squeezed Sid’s hand. 

“Did you really say that to Sully this morning?”

“Um, evidently louder than I realized if they heard me.”  Jamie winced.

“What would we do without our friends and their words of wisdom.”  Sid sighed happily.

“I’m gonna find out.  Dumes is getting traded.  Once the season’s over.” Jamie shifted so he could lay his head on Sid’s shoulder.

“You don’t know that for sure.”

“Yeah, I do.  His agent has been given the go ahead to try and find a team.”

“Shit.  I’m sorry, Jame.”  Sid tipped his head to rest it against Jamie’s.  “That’s why I’m glad I threw my weight around and got you an NTC right away.  Even if they couldn’t technically give you one on an ELC. Too bad Brian couldn’t get one with this contract.”

“Yeah, too… bad.”  Jamie mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing.  Just thinking about something Sully said this morning.  Hey,” Jamie sat up. “Did you know they were going to give me the C?”

“Yep.  Geno and I talked about it.  He said it would feel weird wearing it.  Said ‘should be Crosby’” Sid said in a bad Russian accent.  “What did Sully say?”

“That Grummand wants me to stay.  That I should maybe, use that to my advantage for getting a good contract.”  Jamie said, his voice drifting off at the end as his brain went into overdrive.  “Fuck. That’s it. That’s what he meant.”

“Jamie?”  Sid asked, puzzled at the sudden change in Jamie’s demeanor.

“That’s it.”  Jamie kissed Sid on the cheek.  “I love you. I have a couple of calls to make.  You go up and I’ll be up in a few.” 

“Who are you calling at this hour?”  Sid questioned. “Jame?”

“I’ll explain when I come up.”  Jamie kissed Sid again. “Thank you.”

“For what?”  Sid shook his head in confusion.

“For being Sidney Fucking Crosby.”  Jamie exclaimed, getting up and taking out his phone.  He hit the speed dial. 

“Dumes.  Yeah, yeah, you were sleeping. Whatever.  This is important.” Sid heard Jamie say from the living room as he walked up the stairs. 

It was a good half-hour before Sid heard Jamie coming up the stairs.  He patiently waited, sitting with his back against the headboard, legs stretched out, hands on his lap, thumbs twiddling nervously.  Jamie stripped down to his boxer briefs and climbed in bed next to Sid.

“Why’d you call Dumo?”

“You gave me an idea.  Had to run it past him.  Then I called Brisson.”

“At this hour?  Bet Pat wasn’t happy.”

“Pat’s never happy with me.”  Jamie laughed. 

“Oh god.  What did you do?  Are you gonna try and get traded with Dumo?”  Sid groaned. “I can see you doing that.”

“Nope.  If the plan works, neither of us are going anywhere.”  Jamie grinned happily as he explained his plan to Sid. By the time he got done, Sid was grinning, too.

“Wow.  I think I could get used to power hungry Jamie.”  Sid laughed. “Grummand’s gonna shit.”

“There’s a new Crosby in town.”  Jamie snorted. “He won’t know what hit him.”

“I like.  It’s, uh, sexy.” Sid hummed, reaching down to brush his hand through Jamie’s hair.  “So, I’ve skated two days in a row…no headaches…no side effects… Maybe we could, um, maybe…”

“That’s great.  You gonna travel with us?  I know it’s just one night, but…”  Jamie looked up. Sid was looking down at him, eyes dark.  “Oh. You mean? Oh!” Jamie scrambled up to straddle Sid’s legs. “You sure you’re up for...?” He asked, his voice trailing off as he discovered Sid wasn’t wearing anything under the sheets and blanket.

“Well, I guess that answers that question.”  Jamie smirked, letting his hands rest on Sid’s chest.

“Make up sex is the best sex.”  Sid smiled warmly. “Haven’t gotten this for a while.  Stupid concussion.”

“Yeah, stupid concussion.”  Jamie leaned in and brought their mouths together.  He let Sid set the pace and deepen the kiss.

Sid’s hands came up to rub up and down his arms, his fingers gliding lightly over the smooth skin.  He traced his fingertips along Jamie’s collarbone, then down his chest. Sid stopped at the dark round nipples, splaying his fingers out around Jamie’s sides so his thumbs could focus on the sensitive nubs.  They were hard already, just from the kissing, from the feel of Sid’s hands on Jamie’s skin. He rubbed his thumbs over them, teasing lightly, bringing soft moans from Jamie.

Sid kissed along Jamie’s jaw, then down the side of his neck.  Soft, warm, wet kisses trailing downward. Sid came to Jamie’s tattoo.  Their tattoo. He traced the hearts with the tip of his tongue, mimicking Jamie’s fingertips that were tracing around the pattern on Sid’s chest.  Sid kissed each number, lingering over Jamie’s 20 a few seconds longer. 

“Why don’t you stretch out and let me just enjoy myself.”  Sid hummed against Jamie’s chest.

“Mmmm… kay.”  Jamie murmured. 

He shifted off Sid and laid down next to him.  Sid scooted down in the bed and rolled over on his side, propping himself up on his elbow.  He reached up with his other hand and brushed through Jamie’s hair, then rested his hand on Jamie’s cheek as he bent down to kiss him again.  Teasing kisses, tugging at Jamie’s lower lip until it was puffy and red.

Sid’s fingertips glided up and down Jamie’s chest, the lightest of touches sending little tingles along their trail.  The soft noises Jamie made encouraging Sid to give him more of this. Sid could tell Jamie was letting himself slip into the free-floating, knowing nothing but the sensations Sid created, space.

Sid pulled back from kissing Jamie and got a protesting groan.  That quickly changed back to the happy mewls as Sid again kissed down the tight cord along Jamie’s neck.  He paused at the hollow just below Jamie’s Adam’s apple to make a few lazy circles with the tip of his tongue and then suck a small bruise into the delicate skin. 

Sid’s hand slid lower, slipping under the band of Jamie’s briefs.  He let his fingers work down the shaft to graze the tip of Jamie’s cock, hard and starting to leak precome. 

“Feel good, baby boy?” 

“Mmmmm….”  Jamie hummed.  “Yeah.”

Well, if he could still answer him, Sid needed to work harder.

Sid ran his fingers around the tip of Jamie’s cock, spreading the pre come around.  He let his fingers run up and down the shaft. All the while, he kissed over Jamie’s chest, spending time again on the tattoo, then moving back and forth between the hard nipples, licking, sucking, biting.  Jamie arched his chest slightly toward Sid, seeking more.

Sid sat up. 

“Lift.”  He commanded.

Jamie obediently raised his hips up off the bed and Sid pulled his briefs down.  Jamie lifted his legs, drawing his knees up so Sid could slide the underwear down Jamie’s legs and off.  Sid moved around to kneel between Jamie’s legs. He held Jamie’s ankles, keeping his legs up. Sid tenderly kissed each ankle, then planted light kisses up Jamie’s left calf.  He took his time when he got to Jamie’s inner thigh, sucking a larger bruise into the smooth skin. Jamie’s hands grabbed for the bedsheets as Sid sucked and bit at his thigh, twisting them up in his fists. 

Sid paused to look up at Jamie.  Jamie’s head was back against the pillow, eyes closed, lips parted.  His cheeks rosy, flushed, lips still puffy from the kisses. 

“God, you are so beautiful.”

Jamie rolled his head to the side, the blush spreading down his neck.  Still with him. Sid needed to push him further into that pleasurable space.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie closed his eyes.  He was floating, feeling his tension drift away under Sid’s care.  It had been since the All-Star break that they’d been able to find time to be together, even longer since they’d done this, taken their time and just let Sid put Jamie deep into his head space. 

Jamie loved moments like this, when just one touch could make him come undone. Sid loved moments like this, making Jamie come apart under his touch. It was a win win situation for both of them.

“God, you are so beautiful.”  Sid said.

Jamie let his head loll to the side, feeling the heat from the blush that was washing over his cheeks and down to his chest. 

He brought his feet down to the bed when Sid released his ankles, letting his knees flop out.  Sid’s hands continued to explore Jamie’s body, rubbing over his thighs, his abs and chest. Sid was touching him everywhere but the one spot Jamie needed to be touched the most.  He arched his hips up a couple of times, then pushed his ass down against the sheets, trying to get some relief.

“Always so hungry.”  Sid’s voice said in his mind.  “Insatiable.”

Finally, Jamie felt Sid’s fingers on his cock, but a light touch that made Jamie wonder if it was real or in his mind as well.  Sid’s lips touched the tip then, his tongue darting through the slit and Jamie moaned, low, from deep in his chest. He held himself still, waiting, as Sid’s lips parted more, and he felt them glide down the length of his shaft.

Little mumbles of pleasure escaped Jamie’s lips as Sid’s mouth enveloped his cock, hot and wet, lips and tongue applying pressure at different times.  Sid bobbed his head up and down, settling on what was to Jamie an agonizingly slow rhythm. He wanted to move, to arch up into Sid’s mouth, but Sid’s hands gripped his hips, holding him down against the bed.

Jamie let himself drift away.  Dark. Light. Nothingness. Just Sid. 

He was vaguely aware of Sid’s hand on his cock.  Fingers rubbing up and down, slipping into Sid’s mouth alongside his cock.  Then the fingers moved down, spreading the wetness down over Jamie’s balls and to his waiting opening.  The pad of Sid’s fingers circling the rim of muscle, pushing in lightly, slowly. Jamie mewled, low and raspy. When Sid finally pushed his fingertip past the rim, Jamie made small gasping noises.

“Uh.  Uh.” Jamie inhaled sharply, his chest rising and falling with increasingly heavier breaths as Sid worked him open.  “Uh. Sid, please.”

The fingers withdrew, and the next thing Jamie was aware of was Sid’s mouth on his, cutting off the small noises he was making.  Jamie instinctively drew his knees up, rolling his hips up to meet Sid’s. The initial moment of pain when Sid entered him passed quickly as Sid rocked his hips back and forth, the pleasure increasing steadily as the tip of his cock rubbed over Jamie’s prostate. 

Jamie’s soft, sweet noises got lost in Sid’s kisses, and as Sid moved in and out, the noises became deeper and more desperate.  Jamie felt himself going deeper and deeper until he was finally falling. Sid’s words of endearment became faint sounds. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

“So beautiful.”  Sid sighed against Jamie’s lips. 

He was stretched out over Jamie, his arms framing Jamie’s head.  Sid was propped up on his elbows, his hands holding either side of Jamie’s head, thumbs brushing over Jamie’s cheeks.  Sid kissed him. Slowly. Deeply. Only getting the meekest of responses from Jamie. He’d gotten Jamie there, to that space so deep in his head where all Jamie knew… all Jamie felt… was the pleasure coursing through him.  That’s how Jamie described it.

Sid kissed Jamie’s lips, his cheeks, his eyelids.  Taking in everything. He loved Jamie. He loved him like this, beautiful beneath him. 

Sid rolled his hips in a steady motion, sliding in and out, hitting all the right spots with practiced ease.  Jamie had brought his legs up to wrap them around Sid’s hips, one heel hooked over the other ankle. He didn’t pull or tug or urge Sid to go faster, he just held on to him.

Jamie’s hands that had been clenching the bed sheet at his sides, came up next to his head.  Sid shifted and took Jamie’s hands, lacing their fingers together, anchoring Jamie.

“I got ya, baby boy.”  Sid whispered into Jamie’s ear.  “Let go.”

Jamie’s breath was hot against Sid’s cheek as he held his face close to Sid’s.  Short huffs blowing out with each thrust by Sidney’s hips. Sid nibbled on Jamie’s earlobe, tugging and sucking.  Jamie moaned, low and deep from his chest. He tried to arch into Sid’s thrust.

“You want more?”  Sid whispered.

Sid straightened his arms, pushing himself up off Jamie.  He stretched his legs out and worked his hips up and down faster, driving harder into Jamie with each downward motion.  Jamie let his legs drop down to the bed, but kept his knees drawn up. 

“Oh.  Uh. Uh.  Uh.” Jamie’s chest heaved with each thrust.

Sid pushed in, held himself there, and began to grind their hips together, pinning Jamie’s cock between them.  He worked his hips in tight circles, letting his abs rub Jamie’s hard cock.

“Come on, you can do it for.”  Sid cooed from above Jamie. Jamie rolled his head back and forth, whimpering softly between gasps for air.  “Yeah, ya can. Come on, baby boy.”

Sid pressed his hips down, and pushed himself forward and back again, using his body to work Jamie’s cock.  Jamie tried to rock with him, when he moved his hips, however, he rocked back onto Sid’s cock, driving it deeper.  When he tried to move up, Sid moved with him, keeping his cock buried deep inside Jamie no matter how Jamie moved. 

Jamie moaned, louder this time.  His hands squeezed Sid’s and his body tensed as he came, white ribbons shooting up over Sid’s abs and chest.  Jamie’s whole body spasmed as Sid fucked him through his orgasm. Sid lasted only a little longer than Jamie, coming deep inside him.  The come warm and sticky around his cock as he rode out his own orgasm. Finally spent, he let his body collapse on top of Jamie.

They laid there, together, as their bodies relaxed.  Sid kissed lightly at Jamie’s shoulder and neck.

“Come on back, baby boy.”  Sid whispered. 

He pushed himself back up again and freed his hands from Jamie’s grasp.  He cupped Jamie’s face again, and planted light, tender kisses on all the same places he’d kissed before. 

“Jame?  Open your eyes, baby boy.”  Sid looked down at Jamie’s face, waiting for him to find his way back.  “Jame.”

Jamie’s eyelids fluttered.  Slowly he opened them, and Sid watched as those beautiful green eyes focused on him.

“God, I love you.”  Sid leaned down to kiss Jamie.

“Mmmmm…”  Jamie hummed contentedly into Sid’s mouth, returning the kiss.

Sid stayed there, just kissing Jamie, until Jamie shifted under him, signaling that Sid’s weight was getting to be too much.  Sid rolled off and laid on his back. He slid and arm under Jamie’s head as Jamie rolled onto his side and rested his head on Sid’s chest.

“Make up sex is the best sex.”  Sid smiled and tipped his head to kiss the top of Jamie’s head. 

“Nope.”  Jamie sighed.  “Sid’s head is better sex is the best sex.”


	24. Team Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How’d it go?” Sid questioned when Jamie found him still out on the ice.
> 
> “They were quiet. I think that while they knew you were going, my saying I might go came as a complete shock.”

The next morning, Jamie was up early and off to the training center.  He needed to get there before the rest of the team. Sid would bring the boys and Kylie at the normal time.

He counted on Sully getting there early, too, as was his practice on travel days.  He met with him briefly, got his okay, and then talked to Jen. She reluctantly agreed to Jamie’s request, as well.

When the players started arriving, a message greeted them on the large white board outside the locker room.

_ Practice Cancelled _

_ Players ONLY Meeting _

_ Media Room – 9 AM _

_ NO MEDIA AVAILABILITY TODAY! _

The boys looked at Sid apprehensively; he smiled and assured them that everything was fine.

At 9:05, the media room was buzzing with chatter as everyone speculated on the reason for this meeting.  It wasn’t the first players only meeting they’d had this year, but the others hadn’t come during a nine-game losing streak.  Most were sure that this was going to be an ass chewing. At 9:07, Jamie walked into the room followed by the guys who had been there since his rookie year – Geno, Brian, Hags, Rusty, Muzz, Olli and Tommy.

The room quieted immediately.

Jamie took his spot front and center, the others stood near or leaned against the wall behind him.  One player was conspicuously absent – Sidney.

“Morning.”  Jamie smiled, easing some of the tension.  “First, as always, what is said in this room stays in this room.  Especially what I’m about to tell you next. Second, this isn’t going to be a bitch and blame session. That shit doesn’t do anybody any good. This is a, I talk, you listen session.”

Jamie scanned the room for acknowledgement.  Heads nodded, guys smiled at him. There was a little grumbling.

“I’m guessing most of you have already figured this out, and I was maybe the last guy to know, but… Sid’s decided to retire at the end of the season.”

Silence.

“There won’t be an official announcement until the end of our season, whenever that may be.”

There were a few comments, hushed words between guys, but nothing unexpected.  Jamie continued.

“My future with the Pens is up in the air.  There haven’t really been any talks before this, they were waiting on Sid’s decision.  And now,” he turned to look at Brian, “there are several factors in play. I really want to stay here.  It’ll be up to them as to whether they want me or not.”

Jamie dipped his head and scuffed the floor with his shoe. 

“Ahem.”  Brian coughed behind him.

Jamie looked back at him sheepishly.  “Right.”

He turned his attention back to the rest of the team.

“I want to say that I’m sorry for how I acted during the last game.  It’s not like me, well, it’s been a long time since I’ve let things get me that far out of my game.  Truthfully, though, it wasn’t just the other night, it’s been the last month, since Sid got hurt. The not knowing what would happen.  I just… I haven’t dealt with it very well. Anyway. I’m sorry.”

“Without Sid, the rest of us,” he waved his hand at the guys behind him. “we needed to step up.  To bring everything we had. They have. I haven’t. That stops today.” He paused, taking a slow breath, collecting his thoughts.  “The last time the Pens didn’t make the playoffs was Sid’s rookie year. I don’t want his last year to be the one where that streak ends.”

“I can’t control how anybody else plays, what other teams do.  I can only control what I do. I know that I haven’t been giving 100 percent.”  He paused, choosing his words carefully. “Leadership. The very word implies that it comes from the front, from the top.  You needed a leader to step up when Sid went out. I let you down. But, you can be sure, that from this point on, this team… you… will get everything I have every game.”

“With that being said, practice is cancelled.  Go home, rest up. Flight leaves at 3 PM. Tomorrow starts the push.  We make the playoffs. We take it all.” 

Jamie lead the procession of players out of the media room.  There was a bit of chatter, but mostly everybody was silent. The press hanging around outside looked perplexed, especially when no one stopped to talk to them even off the record.

Jamie gave Andy and Dillon the Jeep keys and told them to take off, he’d ride home with Sid.  As they left, he went searching for his husband.

“How’d it go?”  Sid questioned when Jamie found him still out on the ice. 

“They were quiet.  I think that while they knew you were going, my saying I might go came as a complete shock.”

“That’ll get back to Bob pretty fast.”  Sid smirked. “Should have him scrambling.”

“We’ll see.  Not gonna worry about it until we’re out.  One way or another.” Jamie shrugged. “Anyway, how’s it going today?  Still good?”

“Still good.  Tanger and I played a little one-on-one.  He bumped me around. Don’t seem any worse for wear.  Maybe I should ask to go to Columbus.”

“Nah.  No need to push.  Gonna need you 100 percent for the playoffs.”

“Given, we make the playoffs.”  Sid raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll get us there.  If I have to drag them all by myself.”  Jamie chuckled.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

Columbus was… Columbus.  But, the losing streak ended.  The following night, the Pens beat them again in the second game of a home-and-home.  With just 12 games left in the season, they needed every point they could get to hold on to a playoff spot.  It was going to be a tight race to the finish in the Metropolitan.

The Capitals were at the top, followed by New Jersey and Columbus.  Detroit sat in the first wildcard spot, with Pittsburgh barely hanging on to the second wildcard.  Carolina and the Rangers were just a point behind. In the Atlantic, Boston was leading the league in the hunt for the President’s Trophy, followed by Toronto and Tampa Bay.

After taking two from Columbus, the Pens lost their next game to the Capitals.  They rebounded with a win over New Jersey, then an important win over Carolina. The Rangers took them to a shoot-out in their next game, but the Pens won when Jamie scored in the third round and Jimmy Vesey got blocked by Muzz. 

Unfortunately, they dropped the next three games, to Florida, Tampa Bay and Carolina.  That hurt. They were close, one goal games, and Jamie was sure everybody had played hard.  They had no excuses for losing.

Five games. 

Five games left, and the wildcard spots were still up for grabs.

That’s when Sid came back.


	25. Five Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crowd erupted in boos and complaints that drowned out the Pens’ fans celebration. The official motioned the players out to center ice for the face-off that was just a matter of formality. Jamie sat on the bench getting congratulatory slaps on the back and hugs from teammates and coaches. They’d won. He’d won it.
> 
> Then the official was called over to the Ranger’s bench. He chatted at their coach for a minute then skated back to center ice.
> 
> “We have a coach’s challenge for goaltender interference.” He announced.
> 
> “Jesus fuck.” Jamie swore. “Are you kidding?”
> 
> “They gotta give it a shot.” Sid said. “Wouldn’t you?”

March  29 – New York Islanders @ Pittsburgh

Sid’s first game back was against the Islanders.  At home. 

And they lost.

Jamie trailed the team into the quiet, subdued locker room. 

“It’s okay boys.”  He said confidently, tapping Muzz’ pads with his stick.  “We just need to work on closing things out.  We can do this.  Four games left.  Eight big ass points on the line.”

“How can he be so optimistic?”  Singer, a second-year defenseman leaned over and asked Brian.

“It’s his job.”  Brian answered.  “Cheerleader.”

 

March 31 – Carolina Hurricanes @ Pittsburgh

The last home game of the regular season was a bit bittersweet to Jamie.  So far, it had always been filled with the anticipation of post-season play.  This year, they still weren’t sure there would be a post-season for them.  This could be Sid’s last game at PPG.  He didn’t try to think about that as he heard his name called to take his sweater over to the waiting fan for their shirts off our backs fan appreciation night.

They’d won the game, which gave them a three-point lead on the Rangers for the last wildcard spot.  Carolina had hit a slump and dropped out of serious contention.  The regulation lose to the Pens was probably the last nail in the coffin, ending their playoff hopes.

Jamie smiled for the selfie with Karen, the fan who won his jersey.  Then he went to the table and autographed it for her.  Another hug and he was done.  He joined the rest of the team to toss t-shirts and other merchandise into the stands.

Three games to go.

                                                                  

April 2  - Pittsburgh @ Philadelphia Flyers

The Flyers were out of the race for the playoffs, had been for a while.  That worried Jamie.  That helped contribute to the overall unease they all seemed to be feeling about the game.  They were a quiet, solemn bunch as they got off the bus.

“Maybe you shouldn’t play tonight.”  Jamie said to Sid as they walked into the Wells Fargo Center.  “Let Sully scratch you.”

“Why would I…”  Sid glanced over at Jamie.  “Oh.”

“I just thought.”

“Yeah, I get it.  Not to worry.  I’m a big boy.  I’ll just have to remember to keep my head up.”  Sid joked, trying to ease Jamie’s worry.  “And not turn my back on Sanheim.”

“I should just pummel him again.”  Jamie’s face scrunched up, his top lip curled into a snarl.  He brought up his fists, shadow boxing down the hallway.  From behind him came a lot of snorts and laughs.

“And in this corner…”  Rusty started.

“Weighing in at 200 pounds…”  Tommy added.

“Shut up.  Just shut up.”  Jamie turned, taking a few swings in the air at them.  “Or you’re next.”

That brought more laughs but helped ease some of the tension they all were evidently feeling about the game.

Jamie didn’t need to pummel anyone.  Sid had a great game, two goals and an assist.  Jamie had a great game, two goals and an assist.  They beat the Flyers 7-1. 

The Rangers won, too, however.

Two games.  Four points left, with a three-point lead.

 

April 4 – Pittsburgh @ New Jersey Devils

They lost. 

Despite Sid’s goal and assist.

Despite Dillon’s two goals.

Despite Jamie’s goal.

They lost 5-4.  In a game they couldn’t afford to lose. 

And…

The Rangers won. 

Fuck.

Wildcard standings… with one game to go.

Pittsburgh Penguins    96 points

New York Rangers     95 points

Did anyone mention that the last regular season game was in New York?  Against the Rangers?

 

April 6 – Pittsburgh @ New York Rangers

Jamie paced in the hallway nervously, waiting to get out on the ice for warm-ups.  He was sure a couple laps around the arena would help settle his nerves. 

They had to win.  Even a loss in OT did them no good.  If they ended tied in the points standings, New York had the tie-breaker and the Pens would be out of the playoffs for the first time since the 2005-06 season.  That was not about to happen on his watch.

Getting on the ice didn’t help.  His nerves were still on edge all through the pre-game routine.  It wasn’t until the puck dropped that he could turn his full attention to just playing and not worry about anything else.  Like that this could be Sid’s last game.

The first period flew by, fairly uneventful.  They killed off two penalties, one by Brian for hooking.  It had saved a goal, so Jamie couldn’t really call it a bad penalty.  And one by Sid of all people for a slash.  Yeah, Sid still did that at times.  Bad Sid.  Jamie’d give him an earful later.  The teams went into the first intermission tied at zero.

The second period was a bit more raucous.  There was a lot on the line in this game.  Jamie got two minutes for getting into a shoving match with Brady Skjei when Skjei took a little too much liberty with Sid.  Sid would give Jamie an earful about that later he was sure. 

That was just the start of it, though.  The shoving and after whistle… conversations… intensified as the game went on.  By the third period it seemed there were more stoppages of play than actual playing time. 

At the end of regulation, the game was still scoreless.

Five minutes of three-on-three.  That was what was left to decide their fate.  A shoot-out could be dangerous and unpredictable, and the Rangers had some pretty good shooters who had been able to score on Muzz at will in other shoot-outs.  Five minutes.  They needed to win.

Puck possession bounced back and forth pretty evenly for the first two minutes.  Nobody was able to really get a breakaway or hold possession for a long time to tire out the other team a bit.  Sully was able to change lines at a fast pace, keeping fresh skaters on the ice.  This is where the Pens’ depth in talent really came into play.  They didn’t need to double shift or quick shift guys.  Yet.

With just under two minutes left, Sully changed that up.  He started sending Sid and Jamie out together, with Brian on defense.  Then pulling them for a shift only to turn around and send them back out.  Doing the same this with Geno, Andreas and Olli.  Running just two lines.

Jamie, Sid and Brian hit the ice again with just under a minute to go.

“No more changes!”  Sully had yelled as they went over the boards.  “This is it.  Go hard.”

Muzz had played the puck to Brian coming on the ice.  He’d dropped behind the goal and was waiting for Jamie and Sid to circle through the zone.  They were waiting as the Rangers had just changed, too, and were setting up a rush based on that change.  Vesey, Skjei, and the Wheeler kid.  Interesting choice, Jamie thought.  A rookie out with the game on the line?  Something to exploit there, maybe give the rookie a lesson.

Jamie, however, was almost the one to get taken to school.  They broke over the Rangers’ blue line and Sid swung towards the net.  Jamie thought he had an easy pass, the rookie playing back off Sid and Vesey playing back off him.  He passed to Brian, and when Brian sent it back, Jamie slapped it towards Sid.

Wheeler stepped right into the pass and was off to the races.  Jamie and Brian turned to give chase, but they were a step behind.  Jamie got close.  Almost got Wheeler’s stick, but the rookie got the shot off first.

PING!

The sound of the puck off the crossbar was sharp and loud, but barely audible over the roar from the crowd.  The puck shot into the netting behind the goal and out of play.

Jamie hung his head, hunched over and tried to catch his breath.  Winded from both from the exertion and the relief.

The face-off was to Muzz’ left.  Sid set to take it, Jamie and Brian both on the net side of the circle.  The puck hit the ice and Sid swiped it out, towards Jamie, who grabbed it and looped down behind the goal, coming back towards center ice along the wall. 

There wasn’t much time left.  Maybe enough for one more rush.

The Rangers had dropped back.  Sid and Brian held up at the blue line, waiting for Jamie to carry the puck over.  Sid went to the net again.  This time Jamie just took the shot instead of trying to pass.

The puck came off the left pad and back to Sid, who swatted at it.  Then all hell broke out in front of the net.  Sid and Jamie converged, poking at the loose puck.  Skjei and Vesey were there, trying to clear the puck and shoving at the two Pens.  The official was leaning over the back of the net, keeping a keen eye on the puck.  The Rangers goaltender was scrambling. 

Five… four… three…two… one…  the clock was running out.

Jamie shoved the puck with his stick.  He threw his arms up in celebration as the goal horn sounded then the game horn sounded.  He looked up at the timer – 0:00.

Shit.

The Pens’ bench was celebrating like they’d won.  Sid and Brian had pulled Jamie into a celly like they’d won.  Jamie thought he’d heard the goal horn before the game ended.  It was close.

Both teams milled around their benches waiting.  And waiting.  And waiting.

Toronto was reviewing the goal.  From the replay, it looked like it crossed the line in time.  They showed it over and over.  The Pens’ fans in the crowd cheered each time.  The Rangers’ fans booed or sat in stunned silence.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, the official took off his headset and skated to center ice.  He flipped on his mic.

“After review.  We have a good goal.  Put .2 seconds back on the clock.” 

The crowd erupted in boos and complaints that drowned out the Pens’ fans celebration.  The official motioned the players out to center ice for the face-off that was just a matter of formality.  Jamie sat on the bench getting congratulatory slaps on the back and hugs from teammates and coaches.  They’d won.  He’d won it.

Then the official was called over to the Ranger’s bench.  He chatted at their coach for a minute then skated back to center ice.

“We have a coach’s challenge for goaltender interference.”  He announced.

“Jesus fuck.”  Jamie swore.  “Are you kidding?”

“They gotta give it a shot.”  Sid said.  “Wouldn’t you?”

“No.  I’d just fucking accept that we lost.”  Jamie leaned forward and yelled towards the Rangers’ bench.

“Fuck off, Crosby.”  Came the response back.

And so, they waited again.  And waited.  And waited.

This time it was the Rangers’ fans who got excited every time they showed the goal.  Jamie just watched and shook his head in disbelief.

“This can’t be fucking happening.  God.  It’s a good goal, come on already.”

The headset came off.  The official skated to center ice…


	26. Boston

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sid’s phone chirped as the plane landed in Boston.
> 
> Flower: Did you bring everything you need for this trip?
> 
> Sid: ???
> 
> Flower: Necessary supplies? Oh, wait… you don’t use them anymore…
> 
> Sid: What are you talking about?
> 
> Geno: Is not like first time here.

****_“After review.  It has been determined that there was…”  dramatic pause.  You fucker, Jamie thought, holding his breath.  “no goalie interference.  We still have a good goal.”_

Jamie vaguely remembers the official making the call on the coach’s challenge.  The Pens bench erupted again.  You’d have thought they’d won the cup.  The puck dropped one last time, the horn sounded, and the regular season ended.

They may have limped into the playoffs, but they were there.  Sid’s season wasn’t over and that’s what mattered.

The flight back to Pittsburgh was the complete opposite of the flight to New York.  There was chatter and celebrations and optimism.  They could do this.

For the first time in ages, they’d be going outside their division to start the playoffs as well.  That set up an interesting scenario.  They could meet the Capitals, or the Blue Jackets, in the conference final instead of the first or second round. 

First things first, however.  They’d need to get past Boston.

Their playoffs would start on Thursday, the 10th.  They’d take tomorrow off, then pick up practices again on Tuesday.  From now until the end, days off would become few and far between.  This year, not only would Jamie have to keep himself healthy through the playoffs, he had Sid to be concerned about, and two rookies.  His life had gotten a lot more – adult – in the last year.

Looking out for everyone meant that Monday’s day off needed to be a day to rest up.  But, the team also needed to celebrate getting into the playoffs.  That meant a last-minute team get-together.  Thank god for wives, girlfriends, partners, and families.  And, Nathalie Lemieux, who pulled it all together. 

Jamie and Brian did the grilling.  It was a minor miracle, Sid told everyone, that the food was edible.  Jamie was mildly offended.  Brian was deeply offended.  He was a great cook, he informed everyone.  Kayla informed everyone that he was indeed the chef in the family.  As evidence, she’d brought store bought potato salad. 

There was laughter.  There was good food.  There was music.  There were games.  There were kids everywhere.  It was good for the team.  They needed to just relax and regroup.

Sid sat on the patio watching Jamie and Brian give Olli a lesson on the proper way to grill steaks.  Mario wandered over and sat down next to him.

“One last run.”  Mario sipped at his beer.  “You ready for this?”

“I think so.”  Sid smiled.  “I don’t know if he’s ready.”

“He’s stepped up the last few weeks.  I think he’ll do okay.”

“I hope so.”  Sid turned his attention from Jamie to Mario.  “Were you ready?  When you left.”

“No.  But, like you, I had health issues and my future to think about.  That’s a tough reality to handle sometimes.  That we’re not invincible.  That we aren’t going to be able to play the game we love forever.”

“Yeah.”  Sid said, a sadness in that one word.

“I’ve heard a rumor from the front office.  Is he going UFA?”  Mario asked, changing the subject.

“Maybe.  All depends on Grummand.”  Sid told him, no reason to deny the rumor to Mario.

“If he needs me to step in…”

“Nah.  Don’t.  He needs to flex his muscle.  For him.  If he doesn’t, well, he’s never gonna be the captain this team will need going forward.”

“The way you needed to when you took over from me?”  Mario smiled.

“Yep.  I wasn’t Mario 2.0 and he can’t be Sidney Crosby 2.0.”

“Okay.  I’ll stay out of it then, let him work out what he wants.  If he does go, well, I guess I’ll understand.”

“He doesn’t want to.  But.  There’s a lot riding on us winning the cup I think.  As to whether he thinks Bob will give him the deal he wants.”

“Well then,” Mario said sternly, “we need to win the cup.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday, April 10 – Game 1  Pittsburgh 4   Boston  2

 _I’m a Believer_ blasted through the locker room as the players made their way in after the game.  The mood was electric.  They’d come into Boston and stolen game one right out from underneath the Bruins noses.  Muzz was solid in the net, making 34 saves and only giving up two goals.  Jamie had a goal, the game winner, and two assists.  Dillon was the other hero, with two goals and two assists. 

Jamie had gotten the Mad Hattricker hat as the player of the game in the win over the Rangers.  Once everyone was in the room, he picked it up and stood in front of his stall.

“Muzz.  Great game.  But…”  He walked over to Dillon.  “First playoff game.  Four points.  Way to go, French Dip.”

Dillon took the hat from Jamie, raised it over his head, then slipped it on.

Winning is awesome.

 

Saturday, April 12 – Game 2  Pittsburgh 1  Boston 3

Losing sucks. 

It was a quiet flight back to Pittsburgh.                    

 

Tuesday, April 15 – Game 3  Pittsburgh 2  Boston 1

“That’s right, boys!”  Jamie yelled over the music.  “This is our house!  Nobody beats us here!”

 

Thursday, April 17 – Game 4   Pittsburgh 3  Boston 0

“Shutout!”  Jamie bumped fists with Muzz.  “Thatta boy, Muzz!”

The Bruins looked completely stunned as they filtered off the ice.  Stunned, and pissed off.  Sticks slammed against the walls.  Gloves got tossed angrily.  They were down three games to one, to the Pens.  The Pens, who had barely squeaked into a playoff spot were on the verge of taking down the President Trophy winners in the first round.

“No practice tomorrow.”  Jamie reminded everyone before they let the media into the room.  “Flight leaves at 3 PM.  One more win, boys.  We got this!”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sid’s phone chirped as the plane landed in Boston.

Flower:  _Did you bring everything you need for this trip?_

Sid:  _???_

Flower:  _Necessary supplies?  Oh, wait… you don’t use them anymore…_

Sid: _What are you talking about?_

Geno:  _Is not like first time here._

Sid looked at the messages again and realized Flower had started a group chat.  His face went white, then flushed a bright red.

Sid:  _Fuckers!  Don’t start.  Flower coaches aren’t allowed to chirp players._

Jamie:  _I brought the black & gold!  Gonna retire it after this season, too!  Giving it an… EPIC… send off!!_

Sid:  _Oh god!  No!  Stop!_

Geno:  _Marshmellow know how to party.  Yes Sid?_

Flower:  _Ah… if only Duper and Kuni could be here to enjoy this…_

That was the cue…

Duper:  _The EPIC send off is going to have to wait._

Kuni:  _Cause we’re in Boston for dinner with you!_

Sid:  _Damn!  I mean…  that’s awesome_

Dumo:  _Ah Boston… I hear it was the start of Sid’s troubles._

Jamie:  _I am not trouble._

Dumo:  _Yes you are… and my troubles started in Detroit._

Flower:  _Did you and Sid flip a coin?  Loser had to keep him?_

Jamie:  _Hey!_

Sid:  _I lost.  Yes._

Jamie:  _Fucker._

Sid:  _Wow.  This could be my last trip to Boston as a player._

Jamie:  _Shut up.  You jinx this and no nookie._

Geno:  _That too much tell!_

Duper:  _Some things never change._

The banter continued between the friends all the way to the hotel.  Sid and Jamie checked in and lugged their bags up to their room.  Jamie tossed his on the extra bed and sat down on the other bed.

“So, you wanna talk?”  He waggled his eyebrows at Sid and leaned back on his elbows, trying to give Sid a sexy, seductive pose.  “Or fuck?”

“If only I’d answered that question differently the first time.”  Sid laughed, walking over to stand in front of Jamie. 

Jamie sat up and wrapped his arms around Sid’s hips, pulling him close.  He rested his chin against Sid’s abs, tilting his head back to look up at Sid’s smiling face.

“Yeah.  If the talk had gone differently, you mean.”  Jamie said.  “But I had you.  You loved me.  You still love me.”

“I do?”  Sid twisted his fingers in Jamie’s hair, tugging lightly.

“You do.”  Jamie made a slight nodding motion.  “So what say you fuck me?”

Sid laughed and pushed himself out of Jamie’s grasp despite Jamie’s groan of protest.

“We have a dinner date.”

“They’ll understand.” 

“No.  Duper and Kuni flew in special.  For me.”  Sid turned to look back.  “For us.”

“Fuck.  Okay.”  Jamie whined.  “But after dinner.  You’re all mine.”

“Playoffs.”

“Screw that.  I’m having my way with you one last time in Boston.”

“We’ll see.  Now get changed.  Dinner’s casual tonight.”

\---------------------------------------------------

Saturday, April 19 – Game 5  Pittsburgh 2  Boston 0

Back-to-back shutouts. 

Taking Boston in five games. 

Jamie had both goals for the Pens, one coming on a power play late in the third period that broke Boston’s will.  On the plane home, he texted Sid.

Jamie:  _Sex during playoffs = win!  Need to do that more!_

Sid:  _You think that’s what did it?_

Jamie:  _Yep.  The b &g is traveling with us from now to the end.  Every night baby!_

Sid:  _LOL  insatiable… after all this time…_

Jamie:  _For you… ALWAYS!_

Sid:  _I do still love you.  All of you._

Jamie:  _I know_


	27. Toronto - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner conversation that night was all about what everyone had done that day. Hags and his wife had taken their kids to the Legoland. Brian and his family had hit the hockey hall of fame. Geno and family had gone to the zoo. It didn’t take long before the question came up… were Sid and Jamie with you?
> 
> When Jamie walked into the dining room, Kylie in his arms, the veterans on the team knew exactly what Sid and Jamie had been doing that afternoon. There were a few snorts and some laughs as they exchanged looks across the room. None of the younger players understood, and they were all a little afraid to ask.

The second round of the playoffs found the Pens traveling to Toronto.  Jamie did not have fond memories of post season games in Toronto. Taking a goal post out with his head was not something he cared to remember.  That injury was tied to a lot of other memories from that season. The one he focused on was Kylie coming into their lives. 

He stared past Brian, taking in the view of the clouds as they approached the airport.  Somewhere on a charter not far behind them, Kylie was flying with her grandparents and Aunt Taylor.  The whole extended Crosby family was flying to Toronto for the first two games of this round, along with Kayla Dumoulin and the kids.  They’d be in the same hotel, too, so he and Sid would get to see her more.

“Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?”  Brian interrupted Jamie’s thoughts.

“Nothin’.”  Jamie hummed.  “Just enjoying the view.”

“Liar.”  Brian smiled.  Jamie’s least favorite view had to be looking out a plane window.  In all their years together on trips, Jamie had never once sat next to the window.

“Family.”  Jamie sighed.  “Just thinking about family.  Nothin’ bad or anything.”

“Okay.  You were just off in your own world.  Making sure everything’s good.”

“Toronto.”  Jamie sighed again.

“Yeah.  Let’s see if you can keep your head in one piece this time, huh?”

That made Jamie chuckle.  Evidently, he wasn’t the only one thinking about that.

“I’m letting them have the goal if it comes to that again.”  Jamie smiled. “Muzz is on his own.”

The plane touched down a short time later and Jamie gathered his bags and boarded the bus for the ride to the hotel.  He looked up, scanning for the other charter and caught it off in the distance. Soon. Soon they’d be together with family and he’d feel better. 

What he didn’t tell Brian was what was really on his mind.  Every game was a game closer to Sid retiring.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

They lost the first game, 3-1, Jamie had the lone goal.  The next morning there were some long faces at practice. When Jamie came out onto the ice, on Sid and a couple of the veterans were out taking some warm-up shots.

“Good God, who fucking died?”  Jamie asked, skating up next to Sid and taking a quick wrister at the empty net.

“I think the kids are a bit dejected this morning.”  Sid smirked.

“Hey, boys,” Jamie skated over towards the bench where they were milling about.  “It was one game. We aren’t out of this. Get your asses in gear. We got a game to get ready for.”

He smacked a couple of them on the ass with his stick, getting them moving around the rink for warm-ups.

“Let’s go.  Come on, Dipster.  Move it.” Jamie nudged Dillon’s shoulder. 

Jamie made a point of talking to each of his teammates over the course of the hour-long practice.  Encouraging, praising, just making sure that they were okay after the loss, refocusing them. In the locker room, he pulled Brian aside for a little planning.

As the bus pulled up in front of their hotel, Jamie stood up.

“The rest of the day is ours, fellas.  Some of us have family in town. Some of us may have plans.  Here’s the deal. Compliments of the captain and myself you are all invited to do some touristing around Toronto.  Hit up the hall of fame, the zoo, the aquarium. Anywhere you want to go. We’ve got people arranging for admissions to be covered, and transportation set up. Then tonight, dinner will be here.  6 pm. Family included. Take the day. Relax. Enjoy. Regroup. Tomorrow we kick some Leafs ass.”

There was a round of applause and cheers, and happy chatter as they got off the bus.

“Where are you going?”  Dillon questioned Jamie as they walked to the elevator. 

“The zoo, I’m thinking.  Kylie’s favorite place. You and cheese coming with us?”

“Can we?”  Dillon looked like Oliver Twist begging for some more food.  Jamie almost laughed out loud at him.

“Family, Dils.  No need to ask.”  Jamie slung his arm around Dillon’s shoulders.  “As a matter-of-fact, how would you guys like to take Kylie for Sid and me.  With the grands, of course.”

“You wouldn’t come?”

“Well, I’d kind of like to spend the afternoon alone with Sid.  If ya know what I mean.” Jamie winked at him.

“Oh!”  Dillon’s eyes lit up.  “Yes. Yes, of course.”

“You’re the best.  I’ll owe ya for this.”  Jamie turned and scanned the lobby for Sid.  “Sid will owe you for this.”

Kylie wasn’t happy her dads weren’t going to the zoo with them, until she found out that Dillon and Andy would be escorting her.  That and Jamie bribed her by telling her she could sleep in Sid and Jamie’s room that night, a super-secret, sleepover, with Olivia.  So, off she went happily, hand-in-hand with Dillon and Andy, with her grandparents and Taylor trailing behind.

Dinner conversation that night was all about what everyone had done that day.  Hags and his wife had taken their kids to the Legoland. Brian and his family had hit the hockey hall of fame.  Geno and family had gone to the zoo. It didn’t take long before the question came up… were Sid and Jamie with you?

When Jamie walked into the dining room, Kylie in his arms, the veterans on the team knew exactly what Sid and Jamie had been doing that afternoon.  There were a few snorts and some laughs as they exchanged looks across the room. None of the younger players understood, and they were all a little afraid to ask. 

“I thought playoff sex was against the rules.”  Kayla leaned over and whispered to Brian at one point.

“Jamie got Sid to give in, when we were in Boston.  So now he’s playing the sex equals a win card.”

“Sneaky bastard.”  Kayla smirked. “Wish I’d have thought of that ploy.”

Brian leaned close.  “We can always give it a try tonight.”

“They’re taking Olivia.  We can pawn Orrie off on them, too.  They’ve had their fun.” Brian raised an eyebrow and nodded slowly.

“True.”  Kayla smiled back.  “Deal.”

That night, Kylie, Olivia, and Orrie crashed in the extra bed in Jamie and Sid’s room.  They had popcorn and watched a movie. All supposed to be on the QT, but several of the younger guys ended up hanging out in the room with them.

Jamie sat in one of the chairs, his feet propped up on the edge of the bed, working on his laptop while the movie played.  He surveyed the scene before him. Orrie passed out on top of Sid, who was stretched out on his stomach on their bed. Kylie in Dillon’s lap and Olivia in Andy’s.  Corker, Wheeler and Johansson all stretched out on the beds, too.

The kids looked relaxed.  Much happier and at ease than they’d been at practice that morning.  Mission accomplished. Whatever it took, Jamie thought. That’s what it meant to be the Captain.

The next night, the Pens beat the Leafs 4-3.


	28. Toronto - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Game four turned into a shitshow, a continuation of the last two minutes of game three. Penalties kill, and they took their toll on the Pens. Ten minutes. A full half of the first period was spent on the penalty kill. They managed to hold off the Leafs for two of the five penalties. Just two. The Leafs added an equal strength goal for good measure.
> 
> It was 4 – 0 after one period.

Game three went to the Pens.  It wasn’t a blowout, at 2-1, far from it in fact.  They hadn’t looked good at all.  The Pens had been down one to nothing at the start of the third period.  Jamie had gotten them on the board, a power play goal ten minutes into the period.  He’d set up Sid for the go-ahead goal with two minutes left.  It had been a free-for-all from then until the end of the period. 

In the last two minutes, there were four penalties.  Three against the Pens.  Through sheer determination, they held off the five-on-three, then four-on-three, to win the game.  A happy energy filled the locker room from the win, yet there was an underlying current of uneasiness.    Jamie thought about addressing it.  They’d been giving the next day off, so if he didn’t do it now, he wouldn’t have the opportunity to do it until morning skate before game four. 

He decided to wait.

Dillon and Andy were waiting in the hallway for Jamie and Sid.  One of the problems with them all riding to the games together was that the rookies were always out of the shower and dressed long before the two veterans.  As they walked to the parking garage, Jamie could hear them arguing in hushed whispers behind him.

“You ask.”  He caught in French at one point.  Then Dillon shoved Andy.  Something was up.

They piled into Sid’s Rover and started out for the relatively short trip home.  At this hour, there was hardly any traffic to contend with on the drive.  The boys rode in silence in the backseat for the first five minutes. 

Rustling noises came from the backseat, making Sid glance at them in the rearview mirror.  He caught Dillon nudging Andy a couple of times.  Sid gave Jamie a sideways glance and Jamie just shrugged.  Unless one of them spoke up, he wasn’t going to pry into what was going on.

“Um.  Sunshine.  She, um, she sleep with, um, grandparents?”  Andy finally asked in his broken English, speaking slowly as he tried to find the right words.  He’d come a long way but struggled with words when he was nervous.  He was evidently nervous.

“Uh huh.”  Jamie answered.  “She’s spending the day with her Crosby grands tomorrow.”

More rustling from the backseat.

“Was… um… what plans are you make for tomorrow?”  Andy asked after a few minutes.

Jamie yawned and stretched his arm out across the front console, patting Sid’s leg.

“Nice, quiet day at home, eh, Sid.”

Sid smiled and nodded.  “Relaxing day off.  Yep.”

“Oh.”  Andy sighed dejectedly. 

More rustling from the backseat.  Sid caught Dillon smacking Andy’s leg this time, then making a ‘go on’ type motion towards the front seat.  Sid glanced at Andy in the mirror.  The youngster looked like he was being tortured.

“Um.  We.  Um.”  Andy stuttered. 

“Why?”  Sid interrupted.  “You boys got something in mind you’d like to do tomorrow?”

“Spend the day at the botanical gardens?”  Jamie added.  “Don’t think you guys have been there yet.”

“No.  We have not seen gardens.”  Andy said.  Dillon heaved a sigh.

“Or maybe we could all go for a drive up to Erie for the day.  Maybe go, where is it, Jamie, that place Zach took us, Presque Isle?”  Sid offers, turning to wink at Jamie.  He’s caught on to what’s happening.

“Little cold yet for the beach, but yeah.  It’s a beautiful ride up the back way.”  Jamie said.  “Maybe stop at the Log Cabin for lunch?”

“Sounds like a plan.”  Sid grins.  “What say, boys?”

“Um.  Well.”  Andy hesitates.  “Okay.  Yes.  That would be fun.”

“Dip?”  Jamie asks, turning in his seat to look back at the boys.

Dillon is glaring at Andy, who just shrugs. 

“Yeah.”  Dillon finally just gives up.  “That sounds like a good day.”

“All settled then.”  Jamie smirks.  “Road trip north it is.”

The rest of the ride home is extremely quiet.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You know what was going on.”  Sid said to Jamie as they changed for bed.

“Huh?”

“About tomorrow.  Why they were asking.”

“Oh.  Yeah.  It took me a minute, but when I looked at Dillon, I got it.”  Jamie laughed.  “How long should we torture them before we tell them they can have the house tomorrow?”

“All night.”  Sid grinned.  “Let them stew a little.”

“I don’t know.  Dip might hurt the cheesemeister.  He smacked him pretty hard walking in the house.  My guess is cheese was supposed to ask us but chickened out.”

“Ya think?”  Sid said, giving Jamie the ‘well duh’ look and tone.

“Whatever.”  Jamie quipped, tossing his shirt at Sid’s head.

“So, what are we doing tomorrow.”  Sid threw the shirt back at Jamie. 

“Hanging out at Geno’s?”

“He’ll be thrilled.”

“Mama Malkin is here.”  Jamie licked his tongue over his lips.  “Homemade borscht and perogies.”

“Oh.”  Sid perked up as he pulled the covers down on the bed.  “Oh, yeah.  That’s a good thing.”

“I can’t let them suffer.”  Jamie pulled on a pair of sweats instead of climbing into bed next to Sid.  “Be right back.”

Jamie headed down the hall to the guest room.  He could hear them arguing before he knocked on the door. 

“Come in.”  Dillon bellowed.

“Hey,” Jamie opened the door and stuck his head inside.  “Change of plans.  Sid and I are gonna go visit with Geno’s parents tomorrow, so, you guys will have to go without us.”

“Oh.  Um, we can do that.”  Dillon nodded.  “Yes.”

“Or,” Jamie added, “you could just hang out here all day.  By yourselves.”

Dillon’s eyes lit up.  He turned to Andy who waited for the translation before he nodded, smiling widely.

“Boys.”

“Yes?”  Dillon said weakly, almost guiltily.

“You just need to ask.”  Jamie winked at them as he closed the door.

He waited outside the room, listening for a few seconds.  There was a whoop and a holler, then what sounded like two large hockey players jumping on the bed.

“Kids.”  Jamie said to himself.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Game four turned into a shitshow, a continuation of the last two minutes of game three.  Penalties kill, and they took their toll on the Pens.  Ten minutes.  A full half of the first period was spent on the penalty kill.  They managed to hold off the Leafs for two of the five penalties.  Just two.  The Leafs added an equal strength goal for good measure.

It was 4 – 0 after one period.

The night didn’t get any better.  By the time the final horn sounded, the Leafs had put up another four points.  The Pens kept from getting shut-out by the grace of a goal by Andy at the start of the third period. 

The flight to Toronto the next day was a solemn affair, coming after a brutal practice and harsh words from the coaches. 

They’d blown their chance to go back to Toronto with the possibility of closing out the series.

It was now down to the best of three.


	29. Toronto - Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you mean second opinion?” Sid questioned, rolling over and sitting up on the edge of the bed. “Who the fuck are you texting?”
> 
> “The juju master.” Jamie’s thumbs typed out the message. He hit the send and looked up at Sid.
> 
> “Flower? You’re texting Flower? Fucking hell, I cannot believe you’re texting him to ask if we should have playoff sex.” Sid put his hands over his face, groaned loudly, and fell back onto the bed.
> 
> Jamie’s phone chimed with a response.
> 
> “Flower says that old guy juju, meaning you, is stronger than rookie juju. Therefore, our playoff sex would counteract the bad juju from them screwing.” Jamie reported happily. He held his phone up, showing Sid the message as if Sid could read it from where he was. “The juju master has spoken, Sid.”

“Stop.  Just stop.”

Sid stood his ground in front of Jamie, arms up, hands pushing against Jamie’s chest.

“But, Sid.”  Jamie protested.  “I’m telling you it’ll work,”

“No.”  Sid protested.  “And you had better of told them no more fucking during the playoffs.”

“Why would I do that?”  Jamie leaned against Sid’s hands, using his size advantage to back Sid up a step towards the bed in their hotel room.

“Because sex during the playoffs is bad luck.  I’ve told you that.  We just got lucky those couple of times.”  Sid bent his knees and stuck his ass out, lowering his center of gravity just they way he would do on the ice. 

“No.  Rookie nookie is bad juju.”  Jamie chirped, sing-songing the rhyme, much to Sid’s annoyance.

“Will you stop saying that!”

“Saying what?”  Jamie snickered.

“Rookie nookie.”  Sid tried to shove Jamie off. 

“Rookie nookie.  Rookie nookie.  Rookie nookie.”  Jamie sang.  “Saying it isn’t bad juju.  Just doing it.”

“See.  I rest my case.  Playoff sex is off limits.”

“No.  Just for the rookies.  Not for us.” 

Jamie grabbed Sid’s wrists.  He put a leg between Sid’s legs and jerked up on Sid’s arms.  That threw Sid off balance just enough that he staggered and fell against Jamie.  In an instant, Jamie had Sid wrapped in a bear hug and pulled him down on the bed.  With a thud.

“Oh my god, you break the fucking hotel bed, we’ll never hear the end of it.”  Sid groaned.

“Then give in.” 

“Never.”  Sid squirmed in Jamie’s grasp.

“What if we got a second opinion?”  Jamie abruptly let go of Sid and sprang up off the bed, going to the dresser and picking up his phone.

“What do you mean second opinion?”  Sid questioned, rolling over and sitting up on the edge of the bed.  “Who the fuck are you texting?”

“The juju master.”  Jamie’s thumbs typed out the message.  He hit the send and looked up at Sid.

“Flower?  You’re texting Flower?  Fucking hell, I cannot believe you’re texting him to ask if we should have playoff sex.”  Sid put his hands over his face, groaned loudly, and fell back onto the bed.

Jamie’s phone chimed with a response.

“Flower says that old guy juju, meaning you, is stronger than rookie juju.  Therefore, our playoff sex would counteract the bad juju from them screwing.”  Jamie reported happily.  He held his phone up, showing Sid the message as if Sid could read it from where he was.  “The juju master has spoken, Sid.”

“Fuck me.”  Sid moaned.

“That’s the idea.”  Jamie laughed, putting his phone down and climbing on the bed to straddle Sid’s legs.  “Bout time you get with the program.”

\------------------------------------------------------------

When the Pens win game five the next night, Jamie gloats the whole way back to Pittsburgh.   Flower tells Sid to never question the power of old guy sex juju.  Sid just shakes his head and lets them have their moment.

The Pens struggled for consistency in the game, squeaking out a 3-2 win.  Jamie knew they had to play better.  Knew they could play better.  He just didn’t know how to get it out of them right now.  It was like you were never sure what team would show up any given night, the team Jamie felt could win the cup or the team that looked like they played in a beer league.

The coaches have talked.  And talked.  And… yelled.

At practice, Jamie decides it’s time for him to say something.  He’s not sure at all what he’d going to say when he gathers the rest of the team around him at center ice at the end of practice.  Sid hangs back, this is his boy’s show.

“What the fuck is going on?”  Jamie starts.

Heads dip.  Skates shuffle nervously.

“We got here.  We belong here.  We, however, don’t play like that.”  Jamie continued.  “On paper, we’re the best team in the league.  Look around, boys.  Look at the fucking talent on this team.  And yet, we’re playing like a bunch of rejects from a bar league most nights.”

That riled several of them.  Jamie heard huffs and grumbles.

“You don’t think so?”  He glared at Larson, a rental they’d picked up last year.  He had no idea why Grummand signed him for another year.  The guy was a waste on the ice, had been a healthy scratch most of the regular season.  Jamie held his gaze until Larson blinked and looked away.  He scanned the rest of the team.  “I said we.  I include myself in this shitshow.  Things have to change.  I thought we had turned things around the last time I called a meeting.  Evidently not.  Asses are dragging.  I’m tired.  I get that.  But we have two rounds to go.  So you better suck it up.  This time of year belongs to those who can work through the tired.  Work through the aches and pains.  So, right now.  Right this minute, you need to decide just how bad you want it.  There are guys standing around that’ll tell you it’s one of the greatest feelings, one of the greatest moments in your life, hoisting that cup.  So just how bad do you want it.”

At that, Jamie skated over and started shooting one timers.  Sid and some of the older guys joined him.  Geno went and got one of the shot blockers and set it up at the other net and started running drills with Hags.  There were a few complaints.  Some head shaking.  But, in the end, all of them stayed on the ice for extra skills practice for another 20 minutes. 

As Jamie finally skated towards the bench, Brian glided up next to him.

“So, Herb, I think you got their attention. Should we get you a whistle?”

Tommy came up on the other side. 

“Again!” He laughed.  “Again!”

Brian snorts as they repeat the word together.

“Assholes.”  Jamie swatted at them with his stick. 

“Well done, Cap.”  Brian smiled.  “You’re gonna do fine next year.”

\---------------------------------------------------------

There were benefits to being a hockey player’s kid.  Kylie had learned at an early age just what some of those benefits were.  One was that you on game nights at PPG you got to walk your dads to the locker room before going up to their private box to watch the game. 

Kyle gleefully skipped down the hallway ahead of her family.  She high-fived everyone she saw. 

“We gonna get them tonight.”  Bernie, one of the security guards said to her on the way by.

“You know it, baby!”  Kylie yelled.

At the locker room door, she stood and put her arms up towards Sid, who scooped her up and twirled her around while he hugged her and kissed her cheek.  He passed her off to Jamie, who repeated the bear hug and kisses. 

“You be good.”  Jamie gave her the familiar warning.  It was all part of their routine.  “Who you wearing tonight?”

Kylie looked eagerly over at Grandma Diane who pulled a small-sized Penguins sweater out of her bag.  Kylie grabbed it and held it up, showing her dad the name.

“Oh, my god.  No.”  Jamie feigned being wounded.  “Not Olli.”

“Olli Maatta and the 40 thieves.”  Kylie sang out her special nickname for him.  “You’ll let him know, right, Papa?”

“Absolutely.  He’ll be very happy.”  Sid smiled, leaning down to kiss the top of her head one more time.  He and Jamie disappeared into the inner sanctuary while everyone else headed to their seats.

Another benefit was getting to watch the game, surrounded by her bestest best friends, from a private box high up at PPG Paints Arena.  Kylie burst through the door to the suite and headed straight for the seats.  Olivia and Nikita were waiting for her.

“I got your coke.”  Nikita smiled at her.  “And some popcorn for us to share.”

“I got m and m’s.”  Olivia added.  “We’re all set.” 

The three youngsters chatted away waiting for the game to start.

They had a lot of cheering to do during the first period.  Geno scored twice.  Each time, Nikita stood on his seat raised his arms and yelled I am score.

When Sid scored Kylie climbed on her seat as they announced the goal and yelled in unison with the announcer.

“Sid… neeeeeeeee… caaaaarrrrrroooooooosssssssssss… beeeeee!”

Brian got called for a penalty in the second period and they did a special, brand new PK dance, singing out the moves.

“Hands hands hands.”  They shake their hands in the air over their heads.  “Jump jump jump.”

They turn around and stick their butts out.  “Booty booty booty at the bench bench bench.”

They spin back around and wiggle their fingers at the Leafs bench.  “Whammie whammie whammie we put a hex on you!”

With that, they throw their arms around each other giggling wildly and jumping up and down.  They repeat the dance two more times during the penalty kill.

Anna’s sitting at a table inside talking with Trina.  She hears the crowd noise level spike and she thinks the Pens have scored a short-handed goal.  She glances up at one of the large screen TVs and sees the three kids on the screen doing their dance.

 “What in world?” She asks Trina.  She’s more shocked by the taunting dance than the fact the kids are on the jumbo-tron.  Over the years, they’ve gotten used to them being shown on TV on occasion.

“That’s their penalty kill dance.”  Trina laughs.  “Kylie told me they were going to do it.”

“Who teach them to do this thing?”  Anna questioned.

“Jamie.”  Trina laughs.  “Who else.”

Anna laughs.  “Of course is Jamie.  That what he must have done yesterday when he had kids outside for so long.”

Toronto doesn’t score and as Brian steps out of the box, the kids yell loudly.  Kylie can’t wait to tell her dad his dance worked.

Toronto scores twice in the first half of the second period, which brings out boos from the three youngsters.  They do their penalty kill dance through two more trips by Pens to the sin bin.  First Geno takes a slashing penalty, then Jamie takes a tripping penalty.  Nikita is the first to point out that three of their four fathers have been in the box. 

The dance works both times, though, as the Leafs can’t score on the power play.  With two and a half minutes left, the Pens hold a one goal lead.

“Hey?  Is the dance just for the PK?”  Olivia asks.

“Hhhhmmmm….”  Kylie hums, her lips pursed and brow scrunched in deep thought.  “I don’t think so.  Nikki?”

“I think it is for all times.”  Nikita says with a grin.

They do the dance over and over for the entire last two minutes, not even stopping if the action stopped.

Toronto pulls their goalie with 92 seconds left.  Muzz faces an onslaught of shots.  The kids keep dancing and chanting.  They hear the crowd start counting down… five… four… three… two… one… and they change their chant to count down with them.

The horn sounds to end the game and Kylie gets to enjoy the absolute best thing about being a hockey kid.  

Getting into the locker room to celebrate winning with your dads.


	30. Days Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a good day, he thinks as he opens his eyes to take one last good-night look at his family. He could get used to days like this. He will get used to days like this.

Sid woke up the morning after their game six win over Toronto to an empty bed next to him.  He looked at the red digits on the clock next to the bed.  It was early.  He hadn’t heard Jamie get up and leave for his run, which was unusual.  Normally, Jamie would kiss his forehead, say he was off, and Sid would roll over to hug Jamie’s pillow and go back to sleep.  He must have been really tired last night.  He closed his eyes in hopes of drifting off again, but his mind started working, the thoughts that had been overwhelming him the past few weeks flooding in with the morning light. 

Two more series.  Tops.

Two more and then his hockey career was done, and his life would take a dramatic turn.

No more practices.  No more dragging his ass home at 2 AM after a late flight home from a road trip.  No more road trips.  No more media.  No more…

Sid was sure he’d made the right decision.  It was time.  But deep down in his soul, the thought of not playing hockey anymore scared him to death. 

It had been his whole life.  Hockey.  He’d said it so many times, in so many interviews.  How great is it to be able to get up everyday and do what you love?  Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he’d be retiring at 37.  He’d expected to, had planned on playing well into his forties.    The wrinkle in his plans – he’d found something he loved more than hockey.

Well, two somethings.

The door to the bedroom creaked as it was pushed open.

“Jame?”  Sid said.  “You’re back quick.”

The mattress dipped next to him as Kylie climbed up on the bed.

“Papa.  It’s me, not Daddy.”

Sid propped himself up and took in the sight of this small bundle of love that was worming her way under the covers to snuggle in next to him.  Hair wild, sticking up in all directions.  Eyes still filled with sleep.  Face soft and angelic.  She was his heart.

“What are you doing up?”

“I had to go potty.  Then I couldn’t sleep.”

“Ah.”  Sid smiled, cocooning himself around her.

“Do you have to go to practice today?”  She asked in a soft voice.

“Why?”

“Could we go to Frank’s for breakfast?  To celebrate you winning?” 

Sid pulled his head back and tipped it to be able to look at her.  She had her head tucked in against his shoulder, but she was looking up at him.  Those green eyes.  Just like Jamie.

Like he could ever refuse her anything when she gave him those puppy dog eyes.

“Of course, Sunshine.  You go back to sleep for a bit and I’ll get you up when Daddy gets home.  Then it’s Frank’s for breakfast.”

“Love you, Papa.”  She leaned up and kissed his check then settled back down.  She was asleep in minutes.

Sid sighed contentedly, his mind letting go of his worries as he held her.  Yeah, he’d made the right decision.  He wouldn’t have hockey.  He would have more days like this, with her.

\------------------------------------------------------

The day was filled with a lot of nothing.  A quiet breakfast at the diner.  An afternoon enjoying the warm May sun on a beautiful spring day.  They hung out in the backyard, Kylie, Dillon and Andy playing games, Sid reading and Jamie learning a new song on his guitar.  It was relaxing. 

They grilled some fish and shrimp for dinner that was accompanied by some garlic, parmesan rosetto that Sid made, tossed salad, and garlic toast.  They’d brought a pie home from the diner to have for dessert. 

That evening, they watched game six of the Metropolitan division second round, the Capitals versus the Blue Jackets.  Columbus was up three games to two with the chance to close it out at home.

Sid was sitting at the end of the couch, at a slight angle, his legs stretched out, feet on the coffee table.  Jamie was stretched out on the couch, on his side with his head on a pillow that’s propped against Sid’s thigh.  Jamie’s knees are drawn up and Kylie is tucked into the pocket behind his legs, her legs draped over Jamie’s.  She’s got a giant bowl of popcorn that she’s sharing with her dads.  The boys are crammed together in one of the large, over-sized chairs with their own bowl of popcorn. 

Sid looks over the scene, it’s sickeningly domestic, and he loves it.  His hand brushes through Jamie’s hair, combing it back, a small action that calms Sid more than it does Jamie.  To Sid, it’s as essential to his life as breathing.

“Who you got your money on?”  Sid looks down at Jamie.

“Columbus.”  Jamie looks up.  “They’ll put it away tonight.”

“Who would you rather play?”  Dillon asks them.

“Hhhhmmm… tough choice.”  Jamie hums.  “Gonna be rough go with either of them.  I think the Caps can be more physical, but Columbus… you’ll get more cheap shots.”

“Wasn’t always the case.”  Sid muses.

“Yep.  Wasn’t always the case.”  Jamie agrees.  “But he’s gone.”

“Oh.”  Dillon says, nodding his head knowingly.  “Wilson.”

“Notable goon Tom Wilson.”  Kylie looks up from the popcorn bowl.

“That’s my girl.”  Sid says, holding up his hand for Kylie to high-five.

“Sid.”  Jamie says sternly.

“What?”

“You forget that but for a split-second, I was going to level him.  I was gonna aim for his head.”

“Yes.  But you forget that you learned your lesson, albeit the hard way.  He didn’t.”

“Notable goon Jamie Crosby.”  Kylie giggled.

“I cannot picture that.”  Andy chuckled.  “Jamie a goon?”

“He’s a lover not a fighter.”  Sid laughs, bending to kiss Jamie.

“Ew.”  Kylie groans.  “Stop.”

“Yeah.  No more mushy talk.  It’s a hockey night.”  Jamie chuckles.  He reaches back and runs his hand playfully over Kylie’s face making her giggle.  “Oops, that’s not the popcorn.”

“So, who is worst on Columbus, do you think?”  Andy asked, getting the conversation back to the game.

“Sergichov.  Took over when Dubinsky retired.  Fucking asshole would just as soon slam you as play the puck.”  Jamie says as he reaches into the bowl to get a handful of popcorn.  “Werner, too, ranks right up there, too.”

“Werner.  He’s one who hit Geno in last game we play them.”  Andy says.  “Cheap shot.”

“Yeah, lucky he didn’t hurt G.”  Sid sighs.  “Wouldn’t have been good to lose him for the playoffs.”

“No.”  Dillon agreed.

At the end of the first period, the game is tied at two.  The pizzas the boys ordered arrives and they move from the chair to the floor, piling pillows up near the coffee table.  Kylie moves down to sit with them.  Most of the pizza is gone by the time the second period starts.

The second period is unexciting, just a lot of back-and-forth puck movement up and down the ice.  The intermission brings another round of snacking, ice cream this time.  Once she’s done with her bowl, Kylie climbs up on the couch again, settling behind Jamie’s legs with her head on his thigh.  She pulls her favorite plush blanket up over her shoulders.

Midway through the last period, Columbus scores two quick goals to take the lead. 

“That’ll be the game.”  Sid says.  When he gets no reply, he looks around and finds everyone else sound asleep. He nudges Jamie’s shoulder.  “Hey.  We should go to bed.”

“Mmmm.”  Jamie rubs his head over the pillow and pulls his blanket up higher.

“Jame?”  Sid nudges him again.

“Mmmm… mmmm…”

“Fine.”  He twines his fingers in Jamie’s hair and Jamie hums again, snuggle in more.

Sid stays awake through the end of the game, which the Blue Jackets hold on to win.  He closes his eyes and lets his head lull back into the couch cushion.  Sleeping sitting up isn’t the best thing, but he doesn’t want to disturb Jamie and Kylie.  It’ll be fine, only one night, he tells himself.

It’s been a good day, he thinks as he opens his eyes to take one last good-night look at his family.  He could get used to days like this.  He will get used to days like this.  Soon.  For now, though, it’ll be back to work tomorrow.  They have a date in Columbus to get ready for.


	31. Columbus Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Game two goes to the Pens. The flight back to Pittsburgh is quiet, however. Columbus has already taken a toll on the team and they still have at least three games to go.
> 
> Andy was right to be worried about Dillon, who sat out game two because of concussion symptoms. They sat together on the plane home, Dillon sleeping with his head on Andy’s shoulder.
> 
> Jamie’s hand was in a brace and taped after x-rays showed a hairline fracture on a knuckle. That really wasn’t going to do much to help it heal. What he really needed was to be able to just not use it at all. That wasn’t happening, so the docs were doing what they could to keep it immobile as much as they could.

Columbus.  It’s the shortest flight they make from Pittsburgh on a road trip, just over half an hour in the air.  Jamie wouldn’t mind flying over and back on the day of the game, but the CBA says that’s a no-no, unless there are extenuating circumstances.  Maybe during the regular season, they could get away with it, too, but this is not the regular season.  Having a short-flight for this series is actually beneficial, since the games are scheduled for every other day.  At least when they flew home after game two they’d get in at a reasonable hour.

They fly out a little later than normal the day before the first game, not leaving Pittsburgh until 4 PM.  It was nice to have the time between an early morning practice and the flight to just lounge around the house.  Jamie had learned over the years to take advantage of every chance you had to just rest during the grind of the post-season, a lesson learned from Sid, who hadn’t figured that out until his fifth season in the league.  So, Jamie rested.  Often.  And, made sure his rookies rested as well.  Well, as much as you can make a couple of nineteen-year-olds take it easy.

Their extended family group had grown as well with their advancement to the conference final.  Dillon’s parents, sister and brother were staying at Mario’s.  Andy’s mother was staying with Sid and Jamie.  Everyone had flown to Columbus for the first two games of the series.

Andy seemed happy to have her there, he was a bit disappointed that his father wouldn’t come.  Being ostracized by a parent was hard.   Feeling like you were the cause of a rift between your parents compounded the situation.  Andy’s mother and father were separated.  He lived in Switzerland.  She had moved to German to be with Andy and support his hockey career.

Despite Sid’s warning not to get involved, Jamie called Luc, who made a call to Switzerland.  He didn’t think it had done any good, Luc told Jamie.  Andy’s dad was a hard man, he said.

Jamie let it go and turned his focus back to beating Columbus.

\-------------------------------------------------------

Game one was brutal.  Andy and Dillon learned what Jamie meant about cheap hits the hard way, both getting blindsided at different times by Sergichov.  Jamie’d leveled him after he hit Andy.  Brian leveled him after he hit Dillon.  When he took a shot at Sid, Jamie’d had enough and dropped his gloves.  He spent the last period of the game watching from the locker room.  But so did Sergichov.

“How’s your hand?”  Sid eyed up Jamie who sat on their hotel bed with an ice pack on his knuckles.

“Worth it.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Sore.  Okay.  That what you want to hear?”  Jamie answered sarcastically.

“And what did you learn from it?”

“That I need to watch where I’m swinging.  And buckets are fucking hard when your hand connects with them.”

“And?”  Sid walks over and climbs on the bed next to Jamie.

“And, taking a fighting major, in a playoff game, doesn’t help the team.”  Jamie dips his chin to his chest guiltily, avoiding eye contact with Sid who is now straddling Jamie’s legs.

Sid reaches out and cups Jamie’s face.  He leans forward and kisses Jamie’s lips lightly. 

“I like it though.”  Sid says softly, brushing his lips over Jamie’s cheek.  “My big ‘ol protector.” 

“Shut up.  Asshole.”  Jamie chuckles.

“I think the kids appreciated you and Dumo sticking up for them, too.”  Sid sat back. 

“I should check on them, make sure they’re okay.”

“Knuckles already did.  Dillon was sleeping.  Andy said he was okay, but he’s worried about Dillon.  They’ll call if anything is wrong.”

“Uh huh.  I’m gonna go check on them anyway.”  Jamie lifts his legs to get Sid to get up.

“Why?”

“Cause they’re my rookies, Sid.  And it’s what a good captain does.”  He gives Sid a quick kiss as he gets up.  “You taught me that.”

Sid smiles.  “You’re gonna be a great captain.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------

Game two goes to the Pens.  The flight back to Pittsburgh is quiet, however.  Columbus has already taken a toll on the team and they still have at least three games to go.

Andy was right to be worried about Dillon, who sat out game two because of concussion symptoms.  They sat together on the plane home, Dillon sleeping with his head on Andy’s shoulder.

Jamie’s hand was in a brace and taped after x-rays showed a hairline fracture on a knuckle.  That really wasn’t going to do much to help it heal.  What he really needed was to be able to just not use it at all.  That wasn’t happening, so the docs were doing what they could to keep it immobile as much as they could.

Geno had taken a rough ride into the boards and his knee was banged up.  Hags had a nasty looking bruise around his eye after a high stick caught him under the visor.

That was the worst of it.  There were a lot of other bumps and bruises, lingering aches and pains, that players were dealing with.  All part of a deep run into the playoffs.  Something you learned to deal with, play through, if you were going to win a cup.  That thought doesn’t necessarily make it any easier, however.

They were back in Pittsburgh for two games.  If they could just hold home ice advantage for those two games, they stood a good chance of taking the series. 

It’s a big if.


	32. The Wales Trophy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where are you going?”
> 
> “Someplace better than this.” Kylie huffed at Dillon.
> 
> “Kylie. I’m supposed to watch from here.”
> 
> “Come on. It’ll be fine. Papa and Daddy will make sure it’s okay.” She declared, making it clear that she was used to getting her way.
> 
> “Not until you tell me where we’re going?” Dillon protested, pulling her back to him.
> 
> “Grandpa Mario’s box.”
> 
> “What? No. No, we can’t do that.” Dillon shook his head, then paused. “Can we?”

****

Sid took the option to not practice on the day between games two and three.  Jamie practiced. 

That evening, the Lemieux family hosted a get-together for all the players’ families in from out of town.  Nothing fancy.  More like an open house, come if you please, type affair.  It was a pleasant distraction from the stress everyone was feeling about this round of the playoffs.

Game three got off to a slow start.  Both teams looked sluggish and out-of-sorts in the first period.  The shots on goal just six to five in favor of Columbus.  None of them found the back of the net.

The second period was a little more lively, with the shots on goal getting to double digits.  The score, however, remained the same.

Between periods Jamie iced his hand and had the trainers spray it to numb it.  Gripping his stick was a trick, thankfully it was his right hand, so it didn’t overly affect his shooting.  Sid watched him grimace as he opened and closed his fist while they sprayed his knuckles.

“You could sit.”  He said as Jamie passed by his locker on his way back to get his skates for the third period.

“Yeah.  I know.”  Jamie snapped.  “Don’t need you to keep reminding me.”

Sid didn’t say another word about it.

Midway through the third period the Penguins came to life.  It started with a breakaway by Hags.  Jamie caught him hitting the ice for a line change and he sauced the puck up ice right to him.  It was beautiful.  Caught the Blue Jackets completely off-guard.  The next goal came on a power play.  Werenski took a bad penalty, a slashing call in their offensive zone.  Forty seconds into the penalty Jamie sniped one past the goalie to make it two to nothing.  A minute and a half later, Jamie found the net again.

From there it just got uglier for the Blue Jackets as their defense and goaltending completely collapsed.

With three minutes left, it was seven to nothing.  Sully shortened his bench, giving the top lines a break.  It was more about keeping them from getting injured than about them needing the rest.  The Blue Jackets were taking out their frustrations on anything in black and gold.

At the horn, it didn’t matter.  The Pens took game three.

Game four wasn’t as lopsided, the Blue Jackets put up more of a fight.  In the end, though, the Pens were headed back to Columbus up three games to one.

\--------------------------------------------------------

The only regular missing from the line-up for game five was Dillon, who was still experiencing dizziness and hadn’t skated since getting hurt.  He was watching from the press box, accompanied by Kylie who had opted to stay with him instead of sitting with her grandparents.

That only lasted through warm-ups.

“Come on.”  Kylie tugged on Dillon’s arm, taking his hand and pulling him towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Someplace better than this.”  Kylie huffed at Dillon.

“Kylie.  I’m supposed to watch from here.”

“Come on.  It’ll be fine.  Papa and Daddy will make sure it’s okay.”  She declared, making it clear that she was used to getting her way.

“Not until you tell me where we’re going?”  Dillon protested, pulling her back to him.

“Grandpa Mario’s box.”

“What?  No.  No, we can’t do that.”  Dillon shook his head, then paused.  “Can we?”

Their antics caught the attention of the media who were amused at by the demanding five-year-old and the reluctant rookie.  The hockey princess had now invoked the names of three people who could make Dillon’s life easier, or harder, depending on if she got her way.  Some of them snorted, trying not to laugh out loud at Dillon’s predicament. 

“Yep.  Now, come on.”  Kylie grabbed his hand and started for the door again.

“Wait.”  Dillon pulled away again.  “He doesn’t have a box here.”

“Yes he does.  They have a box for the visiting owners and team management.  Come on already.  I know where to go.”

Against his better judgement Dillon relented and followed Kylie out of the press box and down the hallway.  A few minutes later, Kylie smiled at the security guard outside the doors to another box.  He didn’t even try to stop her as she pulled the door open and went in.

“Grandpa Mario!”  Kylie exclaimed loudly, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.  She ran to him and jumped up into his arms.  “Can we come watch from here?”

“We?”  Mario looked towards the door where Dillon stood, hands in pockets, shoulders slumped, trying to fade into the wall.  “Oh.  Well yes you can.  You know that.”

Mario waved Dillon over.  “As long as your date keeps an eye on you.”  He said as Dillon approached.

Kylie giggled loudly as he put her down.  She stepped over and took Dillon’s hand.  “See, told you it was okay.”

They found a spot along the wall to watch the game, sitting at one of the tables with the tall chairs.  Kylie kept Dillon busy until the start of the first period, making him get their supply of snacks and drinks.  They watched the introductions, stood for the anthem, then settled in to watch the game.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Pens score.  Jackets score.

Jackets score.  Pens score.

Pens score.  Jackets score.

The game went back and forth for the first two periods, with neither team being able to take control of the game.

The tide turned at the start of the second period when Andy scored on a power play.  That was followed by a goal from Geno off a feed from Jamie less than sixty seconds later.  The final straw that broke the Jackets back was a beautiful snipe from the blueline by Brian.  The game ended up being seven to four, with the Jackets never really mounting any kind of a comeback after those three goals.

Sid received the Prince of Wales Trophy and skated over to share it with the team.  He, Jamie and Geno stood side-by-side with it for a photo.  That was all the celebrating they did.

“One more to go.”  Jamie said as they skated off with the trophy.

“Yep.  One last dance with Lord Stanley.”  Sid smiled.  “We got this, baby boy.”

“Hell yeah we do.”  Jamie grinned.


	33. Are We Okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “After all our talks. Regardless of what you’ve said. You’re not okay with this, are you.”
> 
> “It is what it is.” Jamie whispered. “It’ll be fine.”
> 
> “Jame.” Sid brought his hand to Jamie’s shoulder, urging him to roll over onto his back. Jamie rolled over even further, onto his other side so he was facing Sid.
> 
> “I thought I was.”
> 
> “But?” Sid ran his fingers up and down Jamie’s arm.

A few nights later, it was a family night, team night, at the Crosby house as the Pens gathered to watch game seven of the Western Conference final.  Colorado and San Jose’s series had gone back and forth, like the Pens and Blue Jackets, until it came down to this last game. 

Jamie told anyone who asked that he didn’t care who they played.  Sid knew the truth.

“You’re rooting for the Avs.  Quit lying.”  Sid prodded as they fixed some snacks to put out for their guests that afternoon.

“I really don’t care, Sid.”  Jamie retorted.

“You can’t wait to get the chance to kick Nate’s ass.  You’re not fooling anybody that knows you.”  Sid balled up a paper towel and threw it at Jamie.  “Green giant.”

“I’m not jealous of Nate.”  Jamie smirked, sarcasism oozing from his words.  “See, I even called him Nate.  So there.”

“Only because Kylie’s sitting over there.”  Sid said under his breath, nodding at the kitchen table.

“Are you talking about Papa’s boyfriend?”  Kylie snickered without looking up from her drawing.

“Kylie!”  Sid scolded.  “Do not say that in front of people tonight.”

“Why?  They all know it’s what Daddy calls him.” 

“It’s not nice.”  Sid reprimanded her and gave Jamie a strict look.

“It’s better than her calling him the other name.”  Jamie glared back.

“Macasshole.  Macasshole.”  Kylie sang out.  “Uncle Mac… ass… hole.”

“Kylie Marie!”  Sid snapped.  “That’s not funny.  Jamie.  Tell her it’s not polite.”

“Kylie.  It’s not polite to call Uncle Mac a macasshole.”

“God.  That’s not.  You aren’t helping.  You know what, never mind, the two of you are just alike.  I can’t win.”  Sid threw his hands up in the air, wheeled around in a huff and stomped over to the sink.  He angrily started clattering dishes around as he rinsed them and began to load the dishwasher.

Jamie waited a minute then walked over to stand behind Sid, he laid his hands on Sid’s shoulders.  Sid shrugged, trying to get out from under Jamie’s hands.

“Don’t.”

“I’m sorry.”  Jamie bent down and whispered in Sid’s ear.  “I’ll tell her to play nice.”

“Whatever.”  Sid shrugged again but stopped fussing with the dishes.

“You like it that I’m jealous.  Admit it.”  Jamie kissed Sid’s cheek as Sid tried to pull away.

Just then they both felt a pair of arms encircle their legs and a small body press against them.

“It’s a love fest!”  Kylie laughed.

“Yes it is, Sunshine.”  Jamie laughed back.  “We love Papa, don’t we.”

“And Uncle Mac, too.”  Kylie smiled up at him.  Sid turned his head to look at Jamie.  Waiting.

“And Uncle Mac, too.”  Jamie said, leaning to give Sid a quick kiss.  “Cause he’s Papa’s boyfriend.”

Kylie giggled loudly.

“You asshole.”  Sid said against Jamie’s lips.

Jamie got his wish.  The Avs beat the Sharks 2-1 to advance to the Stanley Cup Final against the Pens.  Just as they had so far, the Pens would not have home ice advantage for this series.  They’d have to take at least one on the road if they were going to win the Cup.

\-------------------------------------------------------

“Having dinner with the enemy tonight?”  Jamie asked as they tossed their bags down on the hotel bed.

“You’re invited.”

“Not interested.”  Jamie took off his suit jacket and draped it over the back of a chair.  “You have fun.  I’ll probably just eat in.”

“Nine years.  Amazing.”

“What’s that?”  Jamie unzipped his bag and dug out his laptop.  He settled on the bed with his back against the headboard and his legs stretched out.

“You’ve held this grudge against Nate for nine years.  Amazing.”

“Don’t start, Sid.  Okay.  I don’t like him.  Nothing personal, he’s just.  Annoying.”

“I think I can count on both hands the number of times you’ve talked to him in those nine years.  How would you know he was annoying from that limited interaction?  Hhhmmm?”  Sid went over and sat down on the edge of the bed next to Jamie’s legs, letting his hand rest on Jamie’s thigh.  His thumb made slow circles over the material of Jamie’s dress pants.  “Come to dinner with us.  Please.”

Jamie paused, his hands on his laptop ready to flip the top up.

“This could be our last road trip together.”  Sid added.

“Then you should spend your free time with me, not Macasshole.”

“Ugh.  Fine.”  Sid stood up.  “Your loss.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------

The TV was on when Sid got back to their hotel room that evening.  He didn’t see a room service cart or dirty dishes so either they’d already picked them up or Jamie had ventured out for dinner.  He put his money on the latter.  Brian had probably come and dragged Jamie down to the hotel restaurant at least.

Jamie was on his side facing away from the door.  Sid called to him softly but got no answer.  He went about getting ready for bed after that.  He stripped out of his button-down shirt and jeans, laying them over the arm of the chair where Jamie’d thrown his clothes earlier.  He wandered to the bathroom and did his nightly routine, finishing up by brushing his teeth.  When he came out, Jamie hadn’t moved.

Sid found the remote on the table next to the bed and turned the TV off.  He slipped under the sheets and cover and snuggled up to Jamie’s back.

“You can stop pretending to be asleep now.”  He said, slipping one arm under Jamie’s head and draping the other over Jamie’s chest.

“What gave me away?”

“You aren’t snoring.”

“I don’t fucking snore.”  Jamie snapped, shoving his ass back against Sid in protest, then trying to wiggle away from Sid.  Sid held tight and pulled him back.

“You were missed at dinner.”

“Heh.”  Jamie snorted. 

“I missed you at dinner.”  Sid kissed the back of Jamie’s neck.  He felt Jamie tense.  “Jame?  What’s wrong?  Are you that pissed I had dinner at Nate’s?”

“No.”  Jamie rolled over towards the window more.

“Then what?”

“Nothing, Sid.  Just go to sleep.”

Sid laid there for a few minutes, not sure what was going on with Jamie.  Things had been… strained…  between them for a while now.  This was more than just about Nate.

“Jame?”

“What?”

“Are we okay?”

A long, painful silence.

Sid sighed. 

“I feel like we’ve been… at odds… a lot lately.  Have I done something?  Are you okay?  Not hiding an injury, are you?”  He questioned.

“No, Sid.  I’m not hiding an injury.”  Jamie huffed.  Then he added, quietly.  “It’s nothing.”

“It’s something.”

Sid waited.

“You’re not ready.  Are you?”  He said after a few seconds. 

Jamie stayed quiet.

“After all our talks.  Regardless of what you’ve said.  You’re not okay with this, are you.”

“It is what it is.”  Jamie whispered.  “It’ll be fine.”

“Jame.”  Sid brought his hand to Jamie’s shoulder, urging him to roll over onto his back.  Jamie rolled over even further, onto his other side so he was facing Sid.

“I thought I was.”

“But?”  Sid ran his fingers up and down Jamie’s arm.

“I don’t know.  Every game.  It’s just… it’s that much closer to that game… your last game.”

“And?”

“There’s just so much up in the air, ya know.  My future.  Dumes’ future.  Our future.  If something doesn’t go our way…”

“You really think Bob won’t give you what you want?”

“I don’t know.”  Jamie grumbled.  “I just… I’m not ready to do this without you.  Okay.  I know how you feel.  I get it.  All the reasons.  I just wish it wasn’t now.”

“You wish it wasn’t ever.”  Sid kidded him. 

“True.”  Jamie smiled weakly at him.  “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Dinner.  I should have gone.” 

“It’s okay.”  Sid leaned over and kissed Jamie’s forehead.  “You didn’t miss much.”

“Sid?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for this time.”

“Being kind of a shithead lately.”

“Kind of?”

“Okay.  For being a shithead lately.”

Sid kissed his cheek this time.

“It’s okay.”  Sid kissed him again.  “Suppose you want make-up sex now.  Or play-off sex?  Or… play-off make-up sex?  That should be pretty damn good sex.”

“Nah.”

“No?”

Jamie shook his head slowly.  “Nope.  Just this.  Kisses.”

Jamie brought his lips to Sid’s, but Sid pulled his head back.

“What?”  Jamie asked, puzzled.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I did.  No sex.  Just cuddles.”  Jamie leaned in for a kiss again, but Sid put him off.  Again.

“Not that question.  The first one.”  Sid said, his voice edged with concern.  “Are we okay?”

“Yeah.  We’re okay.”


	34. SCF - Game One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How bad is it? You skate at all after it started?” Mitch stepped back. “Try standing for a minute.”
> 
> Jamie stood up and tried stretching his knee. It was still twinging, but he could stand it. He nodded and gave Mitch a thumbs up.
> 
> “Maybe we ought to tape it just as a precaution. Strip down.
> 
> Jamie ducked into one of the private rooms and shed his gear, so Mitch could wrap his knee, giving it a little support. Whatever was wrong wasn’t going to be enough to keep him off the ice. Not in the final. He missed the anthem and introductions, making his way down the bench to his spot next to his linemates. 
> 
> “You okay?” Riley asked.
> 
> “Yep. Good to go.” Jamie told him. A few minutes later they went over the boards for their first shift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my apologies... i've been away from my story for way too long... hope this chapter was worth the wait... you get a small look inside Jamie's brain during a game...

Warm-ups

Jamie stepped onto the ice a second or two behind Brian.  His actions automatic, robotic, the same routine as hundreds of other pregame warm-ups.  His mind didn’t need to think about what he was doing, so it wandered, which helped his playoff nervousness stay in check.

_Skate. Skate. Skate.  Shoot. Skate. Skate. Skate. Shoot._

He scanned the crowd as he made a loop around the ice.

_Wow.  Lot of people here already.  Well, they’re excited.  Haven’t been in a cup final in a long time.  Some black and gold out there.  Always good to see._

_Kylie.  Where are they?  Oh.  There they are.  Hi Sunshine._

He raised his stick and waved at her.  Kylie, of course, yelled at him and waved back.  They were near the top of the bottom level.  All the Crosbys, Luc and Diane, Dillon’s family and Andy’s mom.  Their entourage had grown over the years.

_Bon Jovi.  Nice.  They play good shit here, gotta give them that._

“It’s my life.  And it’s now or never.”  Jamie sang along to the chorus. He sent a wrister at the net.

 _Take that Muzz._  

They finished up their drills and everybody went about the rest of their warm-up routines.  Jamie stood along the wall opposite the benches.  He watched the Avs skate by their blue line.

_Okay.  Where’s Mackilljoy.  There he is.  Asshole._

_Stop.  Just stop.  Don’t worry about him._

_They all look a little nervous.  That’ll be to our advantage._

_Oooh.  Imagine Dragons.  Nice. Nice. Nice._

_Thunder.  Thunder.  Lightning before the thunder._

_Oldie but a goodie.  Oldie.  Oh god, it’s not that old.  Makes me feel old.  Don’t think about it._

_Stretch time._

He knelt down on the ice and stuck his left leg out.

_Left leggie.  Stretch._

_Right leggie.  Stretch._

_Ouchie.  That’s not good._

_Left leggie.  Stretch._

_Right leggie.  Ow. Ow. Ow._

_Really not good.  Shit._

He looked up at the clock, they still had ten minutes left for warm-ups.  He stood up and made a couple of laps around the ice, slowly, methodically testing the twinge in his knee.  After the second time around, he headed off the ice with one of the trainers hot on his heels as he walked to the locker room.

_\--------------------------------------------------------_

“It just started?”  Mitch manipulates Jamie’s knee, twisting it gently to the left then the right.

“When I was stretching.”  Jamie winces.  “Think it’s anything?”

“I don’t know.  I’m not an x-ray machine.”

“Fuck.”

“How bad is it?  You skate at all after it started?”  Mitch stepped back.  “Try standing for a minute.”

Jamie stood up and tried stretching his knee.  It was still twinging, but he could stand it.  He nodded and gave Mitch a thumbs up.

“Maybe we ought to tape it just as a precaution.  Strip down.

Jamie ducked into one of the private rooms and shed his gear, so Mitch could wrap his knee, giving it a little support.  Whatever was wrong wasn’t going to be enough to keep him off the ice.  Not in the final.  He missed the anthem and introductions, making his way down the bench to his spot next to his linemates. 

“You okay?”  Riley asked.

“Yep.  Good to go.”  Jamie told him.  A few minutes later they went over the boards for their first shift.

\------------------------------------------------

Period One

_Where’s the puck?  Far boards.  Go Dip.  Thatta boy.  Take it deep._

_No. No. No.  Crap._

Jamie gave chase after the Avs’ forward that had stolen the puck from Dillon, who hadn’t had a chance to change yet.  He glanced around for support.

_Nobody?_

_Fuck.  The D’s changing, too.  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

He was a step behind, but the shot went wide.  After the scrum along the boards, he cleared the puck out to Dillon. 

“Clear up the middle.”  He yelled from behind Dillon.  “Just go!”

_Come on kid.  Let’s go.  Fuck.  Shit Dip.  No. No. No.  Not chip and chase._

Dillon had sent the puck deep and chased it to the corner.  He cleared it around to Jamie coming in on the wing.  Jamie sensed the hit coming.

_Fuck… this is gonna hurt._

_Owie.  Damn it._

As he recovered, the Avs’ pushed the puck over the blue line.

“Off-sides.”  The Linesman shouted.  “Puck cleared.”

The puck glided over the ice and the Pens’ defense picked it up.  Jamie gathered himself and cleared the zone.

_Clear again… this is such bullshit.  Out and swing… and… holy shit… open lane… puck… puck… give me the god damn puck…_

“Puck!  Puck!”  He banged his stick on the ice.  The pass, however, never made it to him.

_Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuck.  No!_

_Shit!_

_That fucking macasshole is macfuckin macfast._

Jamie watched the shot go five-hole on his goalie.  Right into the net.

“Sorry, Muzz, that one’s on me.”  He tapped Muzz’ pads as he skated by.  Then he looked to the bench.

_Change?  Nope.  Shit.  Gotta stay out.  Fair enough.  Okay.  Wait.  Sid’s out._

_Do I change?_

Jamie gave Sully a questioning look.  The glare on his coach’s face was his answer.

_Nope._

_That’s a negative ghost rider… wave off… wave off…_

He skated over and took his spot on the faceoff circle.

_And… puck drop… puck…  hello… puck… come on…  puck..._

_Hello… any time… now…_

_Shit… shit… shit… okay… okay… get to the line… get to the line…_

_Wait for it.  Wait.  Go. Go. Go._

_Puck.  Sid.  Puck._

_Backhand.  Post.  Fuck._

_Hello.  Gotta come off boys._

_Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  Get back._

“Three!  Three!”  Jamie yelled, letting them know it was an odd-man rush as the one defenseman had jumped in on the rush.

_Come on Dumes… get there…_

_Fuck yeah. Okay.  Gotta change.  Come on boys.  Ass draggin’ here.  Pay attention._

At the end of one, the Avs lead 1-0.

\----------------------------------------------------------

Period Two

_A da da da.  Da. Da.  A da da da._

“Jame.”

_Da da da.  A doo doo doo.  Doo.  Dooby.  Dooby dooby doo.”_

“Jamie.”

_Dooby dooby doo.  Scooby doo.  Scooby doo where are you?  We’ve got some work to do now.”_

Jamie continued to stare at nothing, lost in his own world.  Brian finally reached out and tapped Jamie’s arm with his stick.  “Hey.  Hello.  I said, does Mackinnon know about Sid’s, uh, you know?”

“I would think so.  I don’t talk to Sid about him much, so I really don’t know what Sid’s told him.”  Jamie muses, his brow scrunching in confusion.  “Why?”

“Cause Stonehouse asked me who was gonna be the captain next year.”

Jamie turned, seeking out the Colorado forward who was standing near the Avs’ bench waiting for the second period to start.

“Guess that answers that question.”  Jamie shrugged.  The only place Stonehouse could have heard that information would be from Nate.  “So much for keeping a secret.  Asshole.”

“Ah, don’t be too quick to jump on Mac about that.”

“Huh?”

“Think about it.  Think… about… it…”  Brian nodded subtly toward Linus Radamov, who the Pens had picked up at the trade deadline.

“Huh.”  Jamie followed Brian’s look.  “Oh.  Oh fuck.”

Stonehouse and Radamov had been teammates together in juniors.

“May have to have a chat there.”  Brian leaned over and said lowly.

“Might at that.”  Jamie agreed. 

Radamov rubbed Jamie the wrong way, had since he arrived.  There was a bad vibe Jamie got from him, a reminder of a feeling he’d had after the Anaheim incident his rookie year.  He was sure that Radamov was, as Ovi would say, a wolf.  Jamie just couldn’t get anyone to confirm that information.  He kept his distance, all the same, and kept a watchful eye on the Russian forward.  If Radamov had spilled the beans on Sid’s retirement to his former teammate, well, that was just another strike against him in Jamie’s book.

Jamie skated out to the circle for the faceoff.  At some point in the first period, he’d gotten moved up to Sid’s line.  Sully was evidently going to start the second period with him there.  He swung close to Sid and stopped.

“Does Nate know about your plans?  For the future?”

“Yeah.”  Sid looked as puzzled as Jamie had when Brian asked him.  “Why?”

“No reason.”  Jamie moved over to his spot on the circle.

Sid stared at him for a few seconds, shook his head, and turned to the faceoff.  Jamie was sure he’d get grilled later.

By the end of the second period, Jamie was back down on the third line.  And, the Pens were down 2-0.

\------------------------------------------------------

Period Three

“Fuck yeah!”  Jamie yelled as the puck sailed past Hart and into the Colorado net. 

He’d sniped a beautiful one-timer from the top of the circle.  Just like that, the Pens were back in the game with twelve minutes left to play.  Two minutes later, the game was tied.

“Way to go, G!”  Jamie high-fived Geno as the team celebrated his goal.  “That’s how it’s done.”

It stayed tied for most of the rest of the period, neither team being able to take clear command of the game.  Four minutes to go, Jamie’s line jumps over the boards.  The first few seconds of their shift is a back and forth game in the neutral zone, neither team able to mount an attack.  Near the end, the Avs make a push and pin the Pens back in their defensive zone.

Jamie watches a scrum for the puck in the far corner from his spot high on the wall.  The puck shoots out and Riley grabs it.  Jamie smacks his stick on the ice and yells.  Riley sends it cross-rink, tape to tape, catching Jamie as he hits his full stride. 

Jamie looks up.  Timmins is skating backwards, the only one he has to beat.  He heard Dillon yelling that he was coming.

_Come on… come on… let’s go…_

_That’s it… make your move… do it… do what you should do…_

Timmins made his move.

_Thatta boy.  Play the pass…  and… a little razzle dazzle…_

Jamie had the puck on his forehand.  The minute Timmins dropped to take away the pass, Jamie glanced back to Hart.  The goalie was playing for the shot, squared to Jamie, looming large in the net.

_Keep up boys…_

Jamie faked the pass.  Hart flinched.

_You are mine now…_

Jamie snatched the puck with his backhand, twisted himself sideways.

_Bad move… bad move… there it is…_

_Quick hands…._

He snapped his wrists and the puck went short-side.

“Boom baby!”  Jamie yelled, then he felt it.  This was more than a twinge.  More of a pop.

_Son-of-a-bitch.  Fuck.  Fuck._

His teammates swarmed around him, celebrating the go-ahead goal.  Jamie bit down hard on his mouthguard as he skated to the bench.  He high-fived everybody and stopped by the end door.  He stepped into the bench area and gave a subtle nod to Mitch.  Then he went and sat down in the middle, next to his linemates.

“What?”  Mitch leaned over his shoulder.

“Something popped.  Don’t want to go off.  Can you tell Sully I’m done for the night?”  Jamie informed him as he shook off his glove.  He put his hand on his knee, holding it there, trying to judge how bad it was.

A second later, Sully’s hand landed on his shoulder.                                

“Go.”  Sully said, leaning over as Mitch had done to talk in Jamie’s ear.

“No.  Don’t want to give ‘em any ammo in case it’s not that bad.”

“Do you think it is?”

“Right now.  Yes.”  Jamie said grimly.

“Fuck.  Okay.  Hang here.”  Sully straightened and went back to managing the last two minutes down one of his best defensive-minded forwards.

Post-Game

Jamie sat in his stall, his gear still on while he did his media obligations.  He had hoped to avoid having to talk to the press, but when you get the game winning goal, you’re very much in demand.  So, he sat and patiently answered all their questions.  Once they were done with him and had moved on to the players that would be going out to the press room, Jamie slowly shed his gear.  Then he waited.

It wasn’t until the last of any non-Pens people had left the locker room that Jamie finally shed his under armour and headed to the showers. 

Sid had noticed.  Had asked.  Jamie had just shrugged him off.  So, Sid gave him space.

Brian had noticed.  Luckily none of the press paid attention to the fact that he’d gone to shower and had then come back to the locker room and not to the changing room.  They didn’t pay attention to the fact that he sat quietly in the stall next to Jamie, waiting with him for them to leave.

The team noticed.  It was obvious when Jamie finally stood up and walked to the showers that something wasn’t right.  There was a pronounced hitch in his giddy-up.  They watched as he walked slowly, with Brian next to him.

The team noticed how Brian stood next to Jamie in the shower, reaching out to help him balance on one leg as Jamie washed his hair.  They noticed the pair of crutches that appeared outside the shower for Jamie to use to get to the changing room.

The crutches disappeared, however, on the walk to the bus. 

The rookies and newer players noticed that Jamie was surrounded by the veteran players.  Sid on one side, Brian on the other.  Geno, Hags, and Tommy in front of them, as if forming a shield.  Subtly, his friends blocked Jamie from the prying eyes of any press or fans who might see that he was walking with just a slight limp, and only through sheer willpower.

Hopefully, they wouldn’t notice that Jamie took the steps onto the bus one at a time, always leading with his left leg.  Or, that Brian had gone in front of him and Jamie’d held on to Brian.  And that Sid had held on to Jamie from behind.  Hopefully nobody noticed that Jamie and Brian had seats waiting on the opposite side of the bus from normal, and that Jamie sat on the aisle with his right leg stretched out straight. 

The same group provided a shield again as Jamie walked to the elevator and then down the hall to his hotel room.  Sid opened the door and they stepped inside, out of sight to prying eyes.  Jamie leaned against the wall and Sid retrieved the pair of crutches that had found their way to the room.

Sid helped Jamie get undressed and settled on the bed, knee propped up on several pillows.  He retrieved a towel from the bathroom and laid it over Jamie’s knee, then popped a couple of the instant ice packs that had also magically found their way to the hotel room.  Once Sid had Jamie down, he changed into some sweats and ordered them room service.

“Good thing we have tomorrow off, huh.”  Jamie finally broke the silence once the food had arrived and they were eating.  “Mitch said rest it and see how it is Wednesday.”

“Yep.”

“You’re mad.”

“Nope.”

“Sid?  Don’t lie to me.”

“You’re gonna try and play.”

“No.”  Jamie dipped his chin to his chest sheepishly.  “Yes.”

Sid shook his head slowly.

“Honestly, Sid, I don’t know.  I don’t know how bad it is.  I can walk on it…”

“Not really.”  Sid injected.

“I can.  Without an MRI, they don’t know.”

“Should have let them do one.”

“It was late.  I just wanted to get back here for the night.  Whether they did one tonight or do one Wednesday isn’t going to make any difference.”

“Probably not…”  Sid drew the words out slowly.

“But?”

“You made a point of hiding it.  Which means you are planning on playing.”

“Not necessarily.”  Jamie averted his eyes from Sid’s intense stare, taking a bite of his burger so he didn’t have to talk.

“Not necessarily?  Who’s lying now, baby boy?  I know you.  I know what you’re doing.  Can’t fool me.”

“And?”

“It’s your knee.  It’s your future.  I can’t fight about this shit anymore.”  Sid pushed his fries around on his plate.  “It never makes a difference.  You do what you want anyway.  So…”

“So… okay.  I’ll rest and stay off it for a day or two, see how it feels.  I really don’t think it’s as bad as I first thought.  It’ll be fine.”

“Whatever.”  Sid replied curtly.

They finished their meal in silence.


	35. To Play or Not To Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sid rolled up on his toes and kissed Jamie lightly. He locked eyes with Jamie and Jamie saw relief in Sid’s eyes. 
> 
> “Yes. There is. And it’s only taken nine years for you to figure that out.”
> 
> “I’m a slow learner.” Jamie smiled weakly.
> 
> “You’re a stubborn fuck.”
> 
> “If I rest it a couple more days. Maybe. It’s only a mild sprain.”
> 
> “Ah, there’s my boy. I knew this was just a temporary thing.” Sid pulled back, the concern that had been in his eyes for the last couple of days coming back.

Wednesday morning Jamie sat in one of the treatment rooms waiting for Mitch and Dr. Marino.  He’d had an MRI and x-rays.  He thought his knee felt better after a day of rest, but it would all depend on what the tests said as to whether or not he’d play tomorrow. 

The door opened.  Sid walked in instead of the other two.

“Any word?”

“Nope.  Waiting.”  Jamie swung his legs over the edge of the table.  “How was practice?”

“Light.  They told the media you’re on a maintenance day.”

“Convenient.”  Jamie looked at the floor, avoiding Sid’s knowing eyes.

“You’ll do what they say?  You promise?”

“Yeah, Sid.  I promised.  I’ll keep my word.”  Jamie sighed.

They hadn’t fought about it, exactly.  The silent treatment from Sid the day before had led Jamie to promise that he would abide by whatever the medical team said.  If that meant he was done playing for the season, he’d have to live with it.

The door opened again, and Dr. Marino came in, followed by Mitch.  Their faces solemn and concerned.

“Uh oh.”  Jamie said.  “This doesn’t look good.”

“It’s not as bad as it could be.”  Mitch glanced at Sid.  “Or as good.”

“The good news.”  Dr. Marino started.  “It’s not torn.”

“Didn’t think so.”  Jamie smiles.  “So, what’s the bad news then?”

“It’s a grade one sprain of the MCL.”  Dr. Marino continued.  “We’re looking at a month of rest, at least.”

“Well that’s that, eh?”  Sid says.  “Your season’s done.”

“What if I play?”  Jamie asked.

“Jame.  You promised…”

“I’m just asking.”  Jamie protested, then turned back to Marino.  “Can I play?”

“I guess that decision is up to you.  How much pain you can stand.  If you can skate and play effectively.  Would I recommend it?  No.  But I can’t say that you can’t play on it.”  He looked at Sid.  “It’ll be up to him.”

“Great.”  Sid shakes his head and throws his arms up in defeat.  “Just what he needs to hear.  He can play hurt and nobody’s going to stop him.  I fucking give up.”

Sid storms out of the room, huffing and grumbling under his breath.

“If I rest it all day today, I might be able to play tomorrow?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it.”  Dr. Marino tells him.  “But it’s going to be up to you.  We can put a brace on it, help you walk and take some of the strain off it.  Take ibuprofen and keep ice on it again today.  Best I can tell you is it’ll have to be a game time decision.  If you think you can play, you play.  But…”

“But?  There’s always a but.”

“You run the risk of it giving out completely and tearing.  That means surgery and months of recovery.  You could end up missing the start of next season.”  Dr. Marino tells him.  Jamie looks at Mitch who nods in agreement.  “Or longer.”

“So, I run the risk of fucking up my knee royally.”

“Yes.”

“Okay.  I guess we let the press know, too, huh.  I’ll use the crutches to get back to the hotel.”  Jamie says quietly.  “No point hiding it.”

What’s weighing on his mind is that he doesn’t have a contract extension, yet.  If he’s injured, if he’d need surgery, that could seriously hurt his chances of getting a contract.  Grummand could think of him as damaged goods and let him go free agent.  That means Brian goes, too.  It means they might end up on different teams.

Jamie sits, letting these thoughts fill his head as Mitch fits him with a brace and brings him a pair of crutches.  He hobbles his way to the bus and back to the hotel.

They spend the day watching movies with Kylie while the rest of their family does some shopping.  It’s a good day, and at least Sid is talking to him again.  Jamie’s sure that’s only because Kylie is there.

\--------------------------------------------------

The pre-game morning skate is optional.  Sid and most of the starters take the option.  Sid hadn’t even left the hotel. 

Jamie couldn’t take the way Sid was looking at him anymore.  Not anger.  Not disappointment.  Genuine worry.  Every time Jamie moved.  Every time he winced.  The look was there, in Sid’s eyes.  A fear that if Jamie pushed it, his career could be over a lot earlier than he’d planned.  Jamie had to get out of the room, so he decided to take the morning skate.

Jamie gingerly stepped onto the ice, testing his knee.  At first, it’s not too bad, then he pushes off with it trying to build up speed.  He only manages to make a couple laps around the ice before he heads back to the locker room. 

The rest of his day is spent in bed with his knee propped up on pillows and Sid and Kylie waiting on him.  Kylie reads him her favorite Dr. Seuss book, _Go, Dog, Go!_   She manages to ask for a puppy at least a dozen times while she’s reading.

They all take a pre-game nap together before Diane and Trina come to pick up Kylie.  Jamie and Sid get dressed for the game.  They pack their bags for the flight home after the game.  Sid doesn’t say much, his silence weighing heavily on Jamie.  He worries the whole way to the arena.

Sid hangs back to walk with Jamie, who hops slowly on the crutches.  They’re the last to reach the locker room.  Sid stops and pulls the door open.  Jamie slumps on his crutches and hangs his head dejectedly.

“I’m not playing.”  He says lowly, barely loud enough for Sid to hear.

“What?”

“I couldn’t skate this morning.  Not all out.  I won’t be any good to the team that way.”

Sid stepped to him, letting the door swing shut.  “Wow.  I never thought…”

“I’d play.”  Jamie sighed.  “Doc didn’t say I couldn’t.  So, I’d be keeping my promise.  Doing what they said.”

“Nit-picking.  You heard what you wanted to hear.  You always do.  So why?  Why this time?”  Sid reached out and cupped Jamie’s chin with his hand, lifting Jamie’s head so he had to look at Sid.

“There’s more at stake than just winning the cup.”

Sid rolled up on his toes and kissed Jamie lightly.  He locked eyes with Jamie and Jamie saw relief in Sid’s eyes. 

“Yes.  There is.  And it’s only taken nine years for you to figure that out.”

“I’m a slow learner.”  Jamie smiled weakly.

“You’re a stubborn fuck.”

“If I rest it a couple more days.  Maybe.  It’s only a mild sprain.”

“Ah, there’s my boy.  I knew this was just a temporary thing.”  Sid pulled back, the concern that had been in his eyes for the last couple of days coming back.

“Give me this, okay?  Give me a thread to hold on to that I’ll be able to play again this season.  Can you do that?”

“I can do that.”  Sid slid his arms around Jamie’s waist and stepped close to hug him tightly.  “We’ll see how you are when we get home.”

“I love you, you know?”  Jamie whispered into Sid’s ear.  “And it’s a good thing you love me, I think.”

“A very good thing.”  Sid pulled back.  “All of you.”

“All of you.”  Jamie smiled, a little more easily.  “Okay.  I’m gonna go grab Sunshine and hide out in the owner’s box.”

“Wonder whose sweater she’s wearing?”  Sid changed the subject, trying to lighten Jamie’s mood.

“The dip, I think.”  Jamie shrugged.  “At least that’s who she was talking about wearing.”

“See you after the game then.”  Sid stepped away.

“Go get ‘em.”  Jamie yelled back as he hopped down the hallway.

Sid waited until Jamie was out of sight before he entered the locker room.  His first stop was Sully’s office to let him know Jamie would be a scratch.

\----------------------------------------------------

“Son-of-a…” Jamie yelled as Nate sent the puck into the empty net.

“Biscuit.”  Nathalie cut him off, looking at Kylie sitting just in front of them.

“Uncle Macasshole!”  Kylie yelled.  “Bad! Bad! Bad!”

“Kylie?  What did you just call him?”

Jamie turned bright red.  “Sunshine.  Not in public.”

Nathalie smacked Jamie’s shoulder.  “I can’t believe you call him that in front of her.”

“I don’t know where she learned that.”  Jamie says sheepishly.  “Maybe from Sid.”

Nathalie glares at him.  Jamie just shrugs.

Nate’s goal has sealed the deal for the Avs, putting them up by three with a minute and a half left in the game.  Jamie could tell them each miscue that led to an Avs goal.  It was a lot easier to see plays from high above the ice.  He was sure that the game would have been different if he’d been able to play, too.

The horn sounded to end the game.  Jamie stood and watched the Pens filter off the ice, looking completely defeated.  Kylie retrieved his crutches for him and they went to meet up with the family.

Jamie left Kylie with her grandparents and made his way to the locker room. 

“It’s only one game, boys.”  He exclaimed as he hobbled in and sat down in his stall.  “We’re goin’ home tied up.  Not to shabby.  We take two there and bam, we’re sittin’ pretty”

Silence.

“Holy crap.  Hello?  It’s one game.”  Jamie scanned the room.  Nobody would look up or make eye contact with him. 


	36. One Game At A Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie sat sideways in his seat on the plane, his bad leg resting across Brian’s lap. Doc had given him some pain meds which helped him sleep most of the way home. At some point during the just over two hour flight, each of the vets found some excuse to have to get up and walk past Jamie. Carefully, each one reached down and touched his shoulder, pulled his blanket up a little, or brushed a hand through his hair. Just checking on him, reassuring themselves that he was going to be okay, silently thanking him for getting them another game.

The problem was it wasn’t only one game. 

Two nights later, the Pens lost game four to the Avalanche, 3-1.

That meant they were headed back to Colorado on the brink of losing the series instead of being on the verge of winning it all as Jamie had hoped. 

The day after the game, they flew west again.  Jamie and Sid settled into their hotel room and Jamie stayed there all the next day, resting his knee.  The morning of game five, he traveled over to the arena with his teammates.  He met with Dr. Marino and Mitch instead of skating, however.

And, he avoided talking to Sid.  Until they got back to the hotel room.

“Well?”  Sid questioned as soon as the door closed behind them.

Jamie hobbled on his crutches to the bed, sitting down hard once he got there.

“It’s doing better.”

“MRI?”

“No.  No point in one.  It was a mild strain, so Doc says it depends on how it feels to me.”

“Right.”  Sid said skeptically.  “So tell me, honestly, how does it feel.”

“Like shit.”

Sid stared at Jamie for a minute, reading his expression, reading what his eyes said and not his words.  He huffed loudly and turned around, walking into the bathroom.  Jamie heard things being slammed on the counter.

“What?”  He called innocently to Sid.

Sid walked back out, his face red, his anger clearly visible.

“You’re gonna fucking play.”

“No.  I’m…”

“Oh my god, just stop.  We’ve been through this same situation so many times.  You think I can’t read you?  Me?  Give me a break, baby boy.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“You didn’t run with Dumo this morning.  If it wasn’t… that bad… as you say, you’d have run.”

“Running and skating are two different things.  Running is pounding the ground and skating is…”

“Starting and stopping on a dime, spinning around on one leg quickly, pushing off with a bad leg, twisting your knee around.  Yeah… that’s so much easier than just running.”  Sid quipped.  “Un fucking believable.”

Jamie couldn’t even look at him as Sid glared at him across the room.

“You promised, Jame.  You fucking promised.”

“I promised I’d do what they said.”  Jamie whispered.

“You know, you’re very good at playing word games.  Twisting around things so they fit what you want them to.  Semantics fucking shemantics, Jame.  You can’t seriously be thinking about playing.  It’s not worth it.”

“It is.”

“For a piece of metal?”

“It’s the fucking cup, Sid.  You said that same thing before, but truth is, you’d still sell your soul for another cup win.  If you were the one who was hurting…”

“I wouldn’t play.”

“Liar.  You wouldn’t play if it was the regular season.  But for all your talk at me, I can remember you playing with a seriously banged up shoulder when we won our last cup.  Playoffs are different.  You said that to Geno when he said you should sit out the rest of the final.”

Sid’s expression changed.  His eyes softened.  He let out a slow breath.

“I’m gonna go for a walk.” 

That was all he said, turning and walking out of the room.

Jamie was asleep when Sid got back.  He didn’t climb on the bed next to him, but instead laid down on the spare bed to take his pre-game nap.

He woke up with Jamie’s arm draped over his waist and Jamie spooned up tight to his back.  Jamie’s breath was warm against the back of Sid’s neck.  Jamie’s breathing uneven.

“Talk.”  Sid said softly.

Jamie moved away from Sid and rolled over on his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows.  Sid rolled over on his back next to Jamie. 

“You say it’s my decision.  Then in the next breath you’re pissed when it’s not what you want me to do.  Always.”  Jamie sighed.  “For as long as we’ve been together, Sid.”

“I love you.”  Sid said.  “I love you and I worry about you.”

“It’s one game.  If we lose, well… it’s our last game together.  That’s important to me.  More important than that big piece of hardware. One game.  I’ll take it one game at a time, okay.  If all goes well tonight, then we’ll see how it feels before the next game.”

“You say you won’t play hurt, then in the next breath…”  Sid turns Jamie’s words around.  He can feel Jamie tense.  Sid knows he’s not going to get anywhere, Jamie’s made up his mind.

He reaches for Jamie’s hand, twining their fingers together.  “One game then.  Okay, baby boy.”

\----------------------------------------------------------

Mitch wrapped Jamie’s knee.  Then put a soft, flex brace over the tape job, hopeful that his work would give Jamie’s knee enough stability to get him through game five.  Jamie flexed his knee, warmed up on a bike instead of running, and carefully stretched it in warm-ups.  The twinge was there, but it wasn’t going to be enough to keep him out of the game.

The first period doesn’t really go to either team.  It’s sloppy and slow, with them trading possession in the neutral zone over and over, neither able to form much offense.

The second period belongs to the Avalanche who find their game about halfway through the period.  Two quick goals have them riding high on emotion.  They can taste victory.  The cup is in the house and is within their grasp.

During each intermission, Jamie strips down so Mitch can rewrap his knee and put on a dry brace.  Sid watches Jamie grimace as he walks back across the locker room during the second intermission.  He shakes his head in dismay.

The Avs come out playing conservatively at the start of the third period.  That is a mistake.  They had the Pens down.  They should have pushed.  They should have pressured.  They should have kept them down.

With five minutes left, the ice tilts.

It starts with the Pens killing a penalty.  Geno, frustrated, had taking a slashing penalty.  Over the course of two minutes, there was a palpable change in the momentum of the game.  With every blocked shot, with every save, the Pens gained confidence.  This game wasn’t over yet.

Geno stepped out of the box and caught a pass from Brian.  The goal was a thing of beauty.  Hart didn’t stand a chance.  And just like that, the lead was cut in half.

With two minutes left, Riley sauced a cross-ice pass to Jamie at the top of the left circle.  Jamie took the one-timer.  The puck went top shelf past Hart’s glove hand.

Game tied.

Neither team pushed the issue over the course of the final two minutes.  They were both content to go to overtime.  Jamie let his head drop and groaned loudly when the horn sounded ending regulation.  Sid skated up and stood next to the boards in front of him.

“Got another period in that knee?”

“You couldn’t fucking score?  You didn’t even try.”  Jamie complained.  “Guess I’ll have to have one more in me, eh, captain?”

Jamie got up and made his way down the bench and towards the locker room, Sid following close behind.

Thankfully, OT was short and sweet for the Pens.  Just fifteen seconds into the period, Mikko Rantanen tripped Geno coming across the blue line.  The Pens powerplay needed only another ten seconds to put the game away.  Jamie wristed a shot past Hart off a feed from Geno.

The Avalanche were stunned.  The Pens were ecstatic.  There would be a game six in Pittsburgh.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Jamie sat sideways in his seat on the plane, his bad leg resting across Brian’s lap.  Doc had given him some pain meds which helped him sleep most of the way home.  At some point during the just over two hour flight, each of the vets found some excuse to have to get up and walk past Jamie.  Carefully, each one reached down and touched his shoulder, pulled his blanket up a little, or brushed a hand through his hair.  Just checking on him, reassuring themselves that he was going to be okay, silently thanking him for getting them another game.

Once they had landed and the plane taxied to a stop, Brian nudged Jamie, waking him up.  They waited until everyone else had disembarked before Sid came back and handed Jamie his crutches.  He hobbled off the plane and to Sid’s Rover.  Dillon drove, with Andy riding shotgun, so Sid could sit in the backseat with Jamie.  They were barely on the parkway before Jamie had dozed off again.

“Doc really gave him some good shit.”  Andy said, listening to Jamie snore.

“His knee is bad, no?”  Dillon asked over his shoulder, looking in the mirror to catch Sid’s expression.

“He says no.  But… yeah.”  Sid sighed, turning to stare out the window, his normal smile replaced by a scowl.

“Why does he play then?”  Dillon questioned.

“Because we lose three games.”  Andy chimed in.  “I see it.”

“Yep.  He’s gonna drag this team to a cup win.  On one leg if he has to.”  Sid grumbled.

“He wants to win for you.”  Dillon stated.  “He wants your last game together to be winning the cup.  I understand it, too.”  He smiled at Andy and reached out to take his hand. 

“You’re all alike.  Your priorities are screwed.”  Sid said under his breath.

“If things were reversed, what would you do for him?  If you thought this was his last chance for another cup?  With you?”  Dillon pressed.

Sid watched the lights along the river, thinking about what Dillon had said.  He knew what he’d do.  That didn’t mean he was going to worry about Jamie any less.

They got home and carried their bags in the house before helping Jamie in.  Andy and Dillon said good-night and retired to their room.  Sid wandered into the kitchen to grab some water and a snack for Jamie so he could take some more pain medicine if needed.  When he came back out, Jamie was stretched out on the couch sound asleep.

Sid didn’t even try to wake him.  He sat the water and food on the coffee table and retrieved a blanket.  It took a little prodding, but he got Jamie to scoot over enough that Sid could snuggle in behind him, between Jamie and the back of the couch.  He covered them both with the blanket.

Sid lightly kissed the back of Jamie’s neck.

“Mmmm…”  Jamie hummed, on his way out again.

“You got us one more game, baby boy.”  Sid whispered.  “Thank you.”


	37. Who's the Asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate looked up and Jamie saw the bruising around his right eye.
> 
> “Ouch. When did that happen?” He whistled softly. Then stopped. “Markov?”
> 
> “He won’t do it again. Nobody’ll go after you next game.”
> 
> “What the hell? You got into a fight? Cause some asshole slashed me?”
> 
> “Well, yeah.” Nate said weakly. “I mean, you’re, well you and Sid. Well, Sid…”
> 
> “Sid what?”

“Don’t say it.”  Jamie stood in the kitchen, leaning on his crutches.  “Just don’t say it.”

“I…”

“Sid.”

“…don’t think…”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“…we can win without you.”

“What?”

“I don’t think we can win without you.  Not without you on the bench at least.” Sid flipped the pancake, patting the top lightly after it hit the griddle again.  “I’m gonna admit it. We’re a better team when you’re playing. For the life of me, I don’t know why, but we are.”

“Very funny.  Are you screwing with me?  Trying the reverse psychology trip?”

“No.  I’m serious.”  Sid plated the pancake and slid it across the island countertop to where Kylie sat watching the ongoing conversation between her dads.  He turned to Jamie. “Maybe that’s not right. We don’t play better, but you have been, I don’t know, the drive maybe, behind the team’s success.  Cheerleader. Goal scorer. Whatever. I think you bring energy to the team. Because you’re so adamant that we’re gonna win the cup.”

“Uh huh.  So… you’re okay with me playing tonight?”

“No.” Sid winked at Kylie.  “Of course not.”

“See.  Ugh. I knew it.”  Jamie groaned. “Sunshine, Papa’s gonna drive me nuts.”

“I don’t want you to play either.”  She said, then seeing his dismay, shoved a bite of pancake in her mouth and looked down at her plate.

“You don’t?”

Slowly Kylie shook her head from side to side. 

“Well fuck.”  Jamie sighed. “I can’t fight both of you.”

“No.  You can’t.  So you’re gonna play tonight.”  Sid stated flatly.

“Of course he is.”  Kylie nodded.

“And we’re gonna win.”  Sid winked at her.

“Of course we are.”  She grinned from ear to ear.

Jamie groaned in exasperation.  “I give up.”

\------------------------------------------------------

The Penguins, already riding high off their win in game five, rode the home ice energy throughout game six.  Jamie had two goals and two assists on the night. The Pens dominated the Avs, winning 6-2. They were ahead 5-1 after the second period.  Jamie was on the ice for two shifts at the start of the third period, a total of a minute and eighteen seconds. The Pens scored their sixth goal and he sat on the bench for the rest of the period.

That was the final straw for the media.  Tired of the standard ‘we don’t comment on player injuries during the playoffs’ they hounded Sully in his post-game press time.

“We’ve seen him on crutches and wearing a brace.”

“He missed a couple of games.”

“But he’s playing.”

They pressed for information.

“He’s playing.”  Sully grinned wryly.  “I guess that’s your answer.”

“Is this a ploy?  Make the Avs think he’s hurt?”

“He’s playing.”  Sully’s face grew stern.  “That’s the most I’ll comment on his situation.”

Jamie was still sitting in his stall with his pants and skates on, leaning back into it with his eyes closed, when Amanda, the new PR rep, came in and made her way over to him.

“I’m sorry to bother you.”  She said over the music and talk.  “Would you be willing to talk to the press?”

Jamie slowly opened one eye.

“I was told to ask.  Policy is we don’t comment on injuries.  But,” she paused nervously, “I was told to ask you.  And to tell you that it is up to you if you want to say anything to them.  They’ve seen the crutches and brace. They want confirmation that you aren’t risking your career or, um, life, by playing.”

“Are you kidding me?”

She shook her head slowly, looking most apologetic for even asking him.

“Fine.  Give me five minutes.”  Jamie bent to untie his skates.

He stripped out of his gear and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and shirt, grabbed his crutches, and hobbled out to the media room.  He didn’t bother to sit down, instead standing behind a podium.

“I’m gonna make a short statement.  Then I’ll take just a couple questions.”  Jamie started. “I’m dealing with a nagging lower-body injury.  It isn’t serious at this point. The crutches and brace are just to help take any stress off it when I’m not on the ice and give me as much chance to rest it as I can between games.”

“Jamie!”  One of the reporters yelled, interrupting him.

“Jonathan?”

“You sat out the third period, was that because of your injury?  You took a pretty hard slash to the knee late in the second period, did that make it worse?”

“And there you have your answer.”  Jamie smirked. “Which is why teams don’t disclose injuries.  But also, the more I can rest it, the better, so having a big lead the last period meant I could ride the pines.  The boys did a good job of shutting them down and holding on to that lead.”

Jamie straightened and reached for his crutches as other reporters shouted questions at him.

“I think we’re done.  You guys have what you were looking for.  Thanks.”

A short time later, he was headed to the parking garage when he was stopped in the hallway by Nate.  Brian, walking with Jamie, paused a moment before leaving the two of them alone to talk, waiting for Jamie to give him a nod that it was okay.

“So, uh, hey.  I just wanted to let you know that that won’t happen again.”  Nate said sheepishly, scuffing his foot on the floor and avoiding direct eye contact with Jamie by looking down.

“What won’t happen again?”

“Markov.  The slash.  He purposely targeted your knee.”  Nate said. “We had a chat after the game.  It won’t happen again.”

“Whatever.”  Jamie snipped.

Nate looked up and Jamie saw the bruising around his right eye.

“Ouch.  When did that happen?”  He whistled softly. Then stopped.  “Markov?”

“He won’t do it again.  Nobody’ll go after you next game.”

“What the hell?  You got into a fight?  Cause some asshole slashed me?”

“Well, yeah.”  Nate said weakly.  “I mean, you’re, well you and Sid.  Well, Sid…”

“Sid what?”

“Sid’s family.  And, well, that makes you family.  I know we don’t, you don’t, whatever, but it’s still the way I feel.  So, I just wanted to let you know that I took care of that for you. So you could play.  Without worrying about it.”

“I, uh, I don’t…”  Jamie was speechless.

“I was wondering if you could do something for me.”  Nate asked, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.

“What?”  Jamie asked cautiously.

“Could, uh, would, uh, you, um, not call me Mcasshole in front of Kylie?” Nate’s facial features tensed, a flush coming to his cheeks.  “Please.”

“I don’t…”

“My mom heard her call me that.  When they went out to dinner with everybody last week in Pittsburgh.”  Nate continued. “I don’t think Kylie heard it from Sid.”

“She didn’t.”  Jamie flushed, embarrassed.  “Oh god, dude, I’m sorry. I’ll tell her that it wasn’t right.”

“Look, I don’t know what I ever did for you to not like me, but that’s fine, it’s what it is, but she’s my goddaughter and well…”

“No.  Yeah. You’re right.  It’s not right for her to…”

“No. It’s not right for you to call me that in front of her.  It’s not her fault she learned it from you. She’s five. She’s just repeating what she’s heard you say.  But, well…”

Jamie stood there in stunned silence.  Nate jammed his hands in his pockets and rolled his shoulders forward, trying to shrink away in his own embarrassment for having to even ask this of Jamie.  Just like Sid. Just like.

Sid.

Oh fuck.

“Did you?  Does Sid know she said it in front of your mom?”  Jamie whispered, afraid if he talked too loudly someone would hear.  Sid would hear. 

“Huh?  Hell no I didn’t say anything to Sid.  He’d be mortified.” Nate snapped. “I came to you.  Again, she learned it from you, so, maybe you should step up, do something about how you act around her.”

“Yeah. I’ll uh…”  Jamie looked up. Brian was coming back.

“Whatever.  I gotta go. They’re holding the bus for me.”  Nate turned and started to walk away.                  

“Nate?”

He paused and turned to look back at Jamie.

“Markov… even after Kylie…  you still did that?”

“Family.”  Nate half-smiled and shrugged.  “Guess it means something more to me.”

“I’m sorry.  And, thanks. For Markov.”

“Whatever.”

“Safe flight home.”  Jamie said. Nate nodded at him and walked away.

Jamie’s chest hurt, Nate’s words still stinging.  Brian was right. Jamie could be a real asshole sometimes.              

\---------------------------------------------------------

Jamie rode in silence the whole way home.  His knee hurt. Nate’s comments had him thinking.  His head hurt.

His heart hurt. 

God he was such an asshole.  He’d thought it was cute that Kylie repeated stuff like that.  He knew Sid didn’t like it. Well, okay. He thought Sid was just acting like it bothered him.  Playing with them that way. Yeah. Jamie had fucked that up.

But, come on, it was Mcasshole Nate.

Nate who got into a fight with his own teammate.  Nate who got a black-eye for his trouble. For Jamie.  

They’d won.  They’d come back to force a game seven.  He should be feeling great.

He felt like a heel.

All the things he needed to fix ran through his head.  At the top of the list was to tell Sid about what Nate had told him and what Nate had done.  He wasn’t looking forward to the fallout from that.

His phone rang.

“Hello?” 

Just when you think life can’t throw anything more at you...                                                                                                                                                                                    


	38. Surprise, Andy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy looked back and forth between the box and Jamie on the bench, a horrified, shocked look on his face. 
> 
> “Yeah. He came.” Jamie yelled at him. “It’s okay. Keep your head in the game.”

Jamie had a lot to do in a short amount of time.  There was a flight to be arranged.  Hotel to be booked.  Find a ticket to the game.  All of this was hindered by the fact that Andy’s parents spoke no English, so everything was done through a translator.  Luckily, he ended up not having to worry about the ticket.  Andy’s mom called him and told him, through Kylie, that the ticket wouldn’t be needed, everyone would be in the family suite.

It had all come together somehow that morning.  He’d gotten a text when they arrived in Denver that Tobias Schwartz was on his way to Colorado.  Jamie was still on the fence about whether he trusted Andy’s dad, if the man would really show up for the game, but he was willing to give him the benefit of doubt for now.  At least he was coming to Denver.  He trusted Andy’s mother and she was on board with this.

“I only talked to him a couple of times.”  Luc told Jamie.  “I didn’t think it had done any good.  Lost in translation, you know.”

Jamie sat in one of the tall-backed chairs in his hotel room, his feet on the bed.  Sid wandered back and forth around the room unpacking his bag and hanging up his suit.  Jamie had Luc on speaker phone so Sid could listen in.

“Whatever you said, it must have done the trick.”

“What time does his flight get in?”  Luc asked.

“Around 10 pm, last I knew it was on time.  I arranged for a car to pick him up, and for a ride to the game tomorrow.”

“You paid for his flight?  Everything?”

“Yep.  When he said he wanted to come, wanted to try, I offered.”

“Give him a chance.  I hope Andy can do that.”

“People can change.  I’m hoping for Cheese that he has.  We’ll just have to wait and see.”  The tone of Jamie’s voice changed, growing soft and uncertain.  “Speaking of people needing to change.  Did Diane tell you what Kylie did?  God, I feel so bad.”

Sid scowled at him.  Their conversation about the Mcasshole incident hadn’t gone as bad as Jamie had expected, but it didn’t go so well either.  It had involved Jamie saying he was sorry about a million times while Sid gave him the death stare.  They had agreed that Jamie would have to have a talk with Kylie about repeating things she heard him say.  Then, they had agreed that Jamie would learn to watch what he said.  Well, agreed might not be the right word.  Sid had informed him that he would do those things.

“Kids are like little sponges.  They take in things.”  Luc said.

“I know.  I need to learn not to say things in front of her.”

“You’re just learning that after five years?  Jamie, son, her first word was fuck.  I think you would have figured it out from that.”  Luc chuckled.

“Funny.”

“Relax.  I know it was awkward and embarrassing, but it’s something all parents go through at some time.  She called Nate that, but she still loves him, right?”

“Right.”  Sid says.

“Yeah, god help her.  She loves her uncle Mcasshole.” 

“Then don’t worry.  She’s a good girl, an amazing young lady.  You two are doing a pretty good job.”

“Thanks, Luc.”  Jamie smiles.  “Alright, we’ll talk to you tomorrow.  Night.”

“Night, boys.  Get some rest, big day tomorrow.”

“Night, Luc.”  Sid calls from the bathroom.  He walks back into the main room a few minutes later.  Jamie has his head tipped back against the chair, his eyes closed.

“You sure not telling him is the best thing?”

“No.”  Jamie sighs, not bothering to open his eyes.  “I don’t know.  What if he backs out?  I don’t want the kid to be disappointed.”

Sid walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, making Jamie move his feet and sit up in the chair.

“We’re all invited over to Nate’s for a little bit after dinner.  You want to come?”

“I don’t know.  It’d be… awkward.”

“You know how he feels.  You said people can change.  Can you?  This would be a good place to start with Nate.”

Jamie let his head lull back again.

“Fine.”  He sighed.  “I’ll go.”

“That’s my boy.”  Sid patted Jamie’s thigh as he stood up.  He bent down and kissed Jamie’s forehead.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie seemed distracted during warm-ups the next night.  Given that it was game seven of the Stanley Cup Final everyone noticed that he was a bit off.  The press contended it was due to his injury.  Some of his teammates thought it was because win or lose, this was his last game with Sid as a Penguin.  Sid and a few others knew the truth.

Tommy skated up next to Jamie as he stood near the blue line, scanning the crowd.

“Is he here?”  Tommy looked up to the box where their families were sitting.  “Is he up there?”

“I don’t know.”

“When are you going to tell Andy?”

“After the game.”  Jamie looked over to where Andy and Dillon were tossing a puck back and forth off their sticks.  “If he doesn’t show up.  I just…”

“And his mom?  She was okay with this?”

“Yeah.  Evidently, they’ve been talking, working on getting back together.  So, maybe I’m worrying for nothing.”

“She didn’t tell Andy?”

“No.  Same reasoning.  Don’t want to get his hopes up.”

“I hope for the kid’s sake it all goes okay.”

“Me too, Knuckles.”  Jamie skated away.  “Me too.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh my god, I feel like I’m gonna hurl.”  Jamie whispered, leaning over towards Brian.

“You haven’t done that in a long time.”  Brian looked concerned.  “Not sure any more if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

“Ugh.”  Jamie tried to calm his nerves.

“So next year, you gonna go out last, captain?”  Brian asked, a grin on his face.

“No.  I go out third.  Right behind you.”

“But the captain…”

“Geno’s gonna go out last anyways, Dumes.  That’s a given.”

Brian laughed, then the grin and happiness faded from his face.

“Are you really sure this is all gonna work out?  About next season I mean?”  Brian asked.

“No.  Yes.  I don’t know.  I hope so.”

“There’s an answer there somewhere?  Should I just pick one?”

 “You trust me, right?”  Jamie straightened.  “I’m gonna do the best I can, for both of us.”

“I do.  But just remember, Kayla’s not too keen on living in Russia.”  Brian laughed, the seriousness easing from his expression.

“Let’s go, boys!”  Muzz yelled as he made his way past them and to the front of the line. 

A few seconds later, Jamie followed Brian onto the ice for game seven of the Stanley Cup Final.  His last game with Sid.  Maybe his last game as a Penguin.

\-------------------------------------------------------

“There he is.”  Luc pointed down to the ice.  Kylie translated to Andy’s father. 

Tobias looked down as Andy lined up on the blue line for introductions and the national anthem.  He smiled widely and patted Luc on the back, then pointed down at Andy.

 _“My son.”_ Tobias said softly.  He put his arm around his wife’s shoulders.  _“Our boy.”_

Troy and Trina watched the man cautiously from a few rows back.  They, like Jamie, were a bit skeptical about his interest in Andy all of the sudden.

“You think he’s just after Andy’s money?  Now that he’s in the league?”  Taylor asked her dad.

“I don’t know.”  Troy said.  “Luc said he tried talking to him about Andy.  Said the man didn’t seem to care much.  Now he shows up, when the Pens get to the final.  All seems a little iffy.”

Taylor glanced over to the Schwartzes.  Tobias had been late in arriving at the arena, a miscommunication with his driver he said.  He’d missed warm-up and both the Crosbys and St. Croixes had thought he wasn’t going to show up at all.  But now, Tobias stood with his arm around his wife, her head resting on his shoulder.  He was beaming with pride as he watched Andy on the ice.   Taylor smiled when Tobias reached up and wiped his eyes.

“I think it’s genuine, Dad.”  She leaned over against him.

“I see that.”  Troy smiled.  “That’s a good thing.  I don’t need to have another son on the dad trip, and I think Sidney and Jamie were about to adopt him if he was alone again next year.” 

“You love it and you know it.”  Trina laughed.  “Playing dad to all of them.”

“Yeah,” Troy grinned, “I do.”

 _“Mister Crosby.  You see my boy is starting the game right next to your son?_ ”  Tobias exclaimed excitedly at Troy before turning to his wife.  _“He is playing with Sidney Crosby, Eliana.”_

Tobias scanned the ice.  _“Which one is Dillon?”_

For a second, Tobias’ expression changed when his wife pointed out Dillon.  Troy worried that Tobias’ true feelings would come out seeing his son and his son’s boyfriend together, as Dillon was standing next to Andy, smiling as they waited for the introductions to end.  Andy looked happy, though, and so did Tobias when he turned around and said something to Dillon’s parents in French that made them both smile and nod.  Troy relaxed a little when he saw the exchange. 

Maybe people can change, he thought.

\----------------------------------------------------

The clock ticked down…

… the horn sounded.

Jamie leaned forward and rested his head on the top of the boards, sighing heavily.

Overtime. 

Fuck.

“Got another period in you?”  Sid stopped on the ice in front of him and patted the back of his head.

“In me?  Yeah.  In my knee?  It gave up the fight sometime in the second period.”

“You don’t need to do this, Jame.”

Jamie sat up.  His face said it all.  He didn’t need to say anything.

“Okay.  I get it.”  Sid frowned.  “Can you make it to the locker room by yourself or do I need to find Brian?”

“I’ll manage.”  Jamie stood slowly and shuffled his way down the bench area and then down the hallway with Sid.

“This can’t last long.  Can it?  I mean, somebody’s going to score eventually, right?  You’ll score.  You’ll score and this will all end, and we can celebrate, and my leg won’t hurt a bit because I’ll be hoisting that beautiful cup and…”

Sid let Jamie drone on.  Who could have imagined that the game would still be scoreless through sixty minutes of play?  This wasn’t real.  Both netminders were on their game tonight.  Sid had come close, ringing one off the crossbar.  Jamie had sent a pass across the crease that Riley whiffed on.  The Avs had had any number of scoring opportunities. 

But.

They were headed to OT with the score tied 0-0.

Jamie came to an abrupt stop at the locker room doors.

“… one more period, Sid.  I don’t think I got much more than that left.”

“Then we need to score, baby boy.”  Sid rested his hand on the small of Jamie’s back.  “We got this.”

“I’m not so sure we do.”  Jamie tipped his head forward, his face grim.  “I can’t let them see that, though.  My fear.  If I don’t… well… they’ll give up.  Right?”

“Right.”

“My knee if fucking killing me, Sid.”

“One more period, Jame.  You got this.  We got this.  But if you can’t.  Then don’t.”

Jamie straightened.  His lips pursed together in a tight line.

“One more.”  He said, nodding his head.  “They gotta believe.”

“They will.”  Sid watched Jamie square his shoulders and clear his emotions from his face.  Jamie would make them believe in themselves.  It was what a good leader did. 

When they came out for the start of overtime, Jamie made a few laps around the ice to test his leg.  Mitch had wrapped it again and adjusted his brace.  He’d also popped a couple of extra-strength Tylenol, not that he thought they would help at this point.  He made his way to the bench and went to sit down when he saw Andy, frozen on the ice, staring up at the box where is mother and father were sitting.

Andy looked back and forth between the box and Jamie on the bench, a horrified, shocked look on his face. 

“Yeah.  He came.”  Jamie yelled at him.  “It’s okay.  Keep your head in the game.”

Jamie yelled at Sid, who was out on the ice with the boys to start the period.  Sid skated over to Andy when he figured out why Jamie was yelling and pointing at Andy.  Sid spent a few minutes talking to Andy.  Jamie slowly saw the fear and nervousness disappear from Andy’s face.  By the time the puck dropped, he was focused on the game again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as before... italics are conversations in German


	39. One Last Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is it. Last one.” Jamie rested his hands on Sid’s hips. “I can’t believe it. This is really happening, huh.”
> 
> “Last time.” Sid smiled, he reached up and cupped Jamie’s chin in his hand, then slowly raised himself up, bringing their lips together.

One more shift.

Those three words were on a continuous loop running through Jamie’s mind.

One more shift.

They’d score this shift.  They’d end the game.  He could do this.

One more shift.

Only he was on his sixth shift of the first overtime period and so far, it looked like there was no end in sight.  Jamie didn’t even have a single shot on goal this period.  The team all together only had four so far in OT.  The Avs had managed just six.

Sully had been switching up the line combinations since the second period, trying to spark some offense.  Nothing seemed to be working.  That and both Muzz and Hart had made some stand on their heads, highlight reel saves all night.  The fans had to be enjoying this game.  At this point, Jamie was not.

Andy and Dillon had started the game on Sid’s line.  Jamie had replaced Andy a few shifts.  Jamie had replaced Dillon a few shifts.  Jamie had even replaced Sid a few shifts.  He’d also been out on lines with Geno and Hags, Geno and Knuckles, Riley and Hags, Riley and Sid, Sid and Knuckles, Sid and Hags.  When he went over the boards for this shift, he wasn’t exactly sure who would be going out with him.  He glanced down the boards.  Geno and Dillon.  Well that was new.

They were making the change in front of the play.  Jamie looped through the Pens zone along with Geno as Dillon skated across the ice to set up on the center red line.  Brian waited behind the Pens goal with the puck, waiting for Jamie and Geno to signal to start the rush.  He came out and sauced a long pass up ice to Geno who carried it through center.  The Avs came out to check and Geno shot a pass in Jamie’s direction.

Rantanen read the play perfectly.  In an instant he was on Jamie, poking at the puck.  He hit the puck, knocking it away from Jamie and was off to the races.

“Fuck!”  Jamie yelled.  “Dumes, get back!”

Without thinking, by per reflex of a move done a million times, Jamie pushed off with his right leg to give chase.  One stride was all he got.  His knee buckled and he went to the ice. 

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”  He grabbed for his knee.  He waited for the horn to blare over the roar of the crowd signaling that Rantanen had ended the game.  Instead, he heard the collective groan of 16,000 Avs fans.  He managed to look up and saw Brian with the puck.  Somehow, he managed to get up and get to the bench.

“Jamie?”  Mitch was at his shoulder, leaning over so Jamie could hear him.

“It’s gone.  Fuck.  I almost cost us the game.  Fuck.”  Jamie swore, rocking back and forth.  “Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuck.”

“Gone gone? You got up.  Can you put any weight on it at all?  We can get you to the room.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”  Jamie looked out to the guys on the ice.  “But I’m done for the night.  Tell Sully.”

Mitch disappeared for a few seconds then was back at Jamie’s side.  “If you’re done, Doc wants to know if you want him to give you something for the pain.”

“Not right now.  Wait and see what happens.  Don’t want to be doped and trying to celebrate when we win.” Jamie half-smiled at his attempt to lighten the situation.

Jamie sat on the end of the bench.  Watching.  Yelling encouragement.  During a TV time out, he had assured Sid that he was okay.  He apologized profusely for allowing Rantanen to get the breakaway.  And he had a short chat with Andy, reminding him that whatever he was going to say to his father needed to be said in private, not on the ice in front of fans.  Andy just nodded, looked up to the box and said something that Jamie recognized as profanity in German.

With three minutes left, Jamie was starting to think the game would be going to a second overtime.  Then Brian, yes Brian, of all people, took a stupid holding penalty.  Just four seconds into that penalty, Tommy took a penalty for high sticking.

Five on three.  For almost two whole minutes.  Fuck.  Jamie, along with all the Pens fans in attendance, was sure this game was over. 

He was right.

Forty-five seconds into the penalty kill, Hags managed to clear the puck deep into the Avs end, allowing the Pens to make a change.  Jamie watched Andy go over the boards with two d-men.  Andy went back to forecheck. 

“What’s he doin?”  Jamie heard somebody say.

The next minute, Jamie heard the crowd roar as the Pens fans in attendance watched the scene unfold. 

“Go Cheese!”  Jamie yelled as he saw Andy make the play.  “Take him!”

Andy did just what Rantanen had done to Jamie.  A quick poke check with his stick and the puck was behind the Avs forward.  Andy darted around him in one slick deke and was on his way to the net.  A fake left and…

GOAL!

Andy threw his gloves and stick in the air.  He hit the boards, pounding on the glass and yelling as his teammates mobbed him.  The Pens bench erupted, and they poured over the boards to celebrate their Stanley Cup.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie leaned against Brian, waiting for the formalities to end so that they could really get down to partying.  First up was the Conn Smythe.  He was pretty sure it would go to Sid, or Geno, or even Muzz.

“The winner of the 2025 Conn Smythe and the most valuable player of the Stanley Cup playoffs, from the Pittsburgh Penguins, Jamie Crosby.”  Gary Bettman announced.

“Way to go, Fluff!”  Brian slapped him on the back.  “You gonna need help carrying?”

Jamie stood there in stunned silence for a moment before he shyly nodded his head.  “Maybe a push.”

Brian stood behind him and pushed him over to the carpet as Jamie glided on his good leg.  He shook the commissioner’s hand, hoisted the trophy showing it off to the crowd, then held it as Brian guided him over to the bench.  He handed the trophy off to Dana and went back to take his spot on the ice behind Sid.

“Now it’s time for what we’ve all been waiting for.  It was an exciting series and a fantastic game seven.  Congratulations to the Avalanche for getting to the final and for helping make it so thrilling for the fans.  Okay.  Sidney, you want to come forward and collect your sixth Stanley Cup?”

Sid skated over, stood for the obligatory handshake and photos, then raised the cup over his head with a loud yell.  He skated around the rink a little way, pumping the cup up and down, kissing it, all to the cheers and applause of the crowd and his teammates.  Finally, he turned back to where the team was waiting.  He glided up to Jamie and handed him the cup.

“It’s your team now, baby boy.”  He said quietly, just for Jamie as they leaned in over the cup.  “Take good care of them.”

Jamie raised the cup over his head, then lowered it to give it a quick kiss.  Sid moved around behind him, taking over Brian’s job of pushing Jamie around the ice as he showed off the cup.  When he had finished his lap, he handed the cup off to Geno.  Jamie and Sid stopped at center ice.

“This is it.  Last one.”  Jamie rested his hands on Sid’s hips.  “I can’t believe it.  This is really happening, huh.”

“Last time.”  Sid smiled, he reached up and cupped Jamie’s chin in his hand, then slowly raised himself up, bringing their lips together. 

When he ended the kiss, Sid laid his head on Jamie’s chest.  They stood there on the ice, arms wrapped tightly around each other, eyes closed, shutting out the rest of the world for just a short time.  Both wanted to hold onto this moment for as long as they could.

Jamie warily let reality back in, opening his eyes lazily.  Dillon was skating with the cup.  He scanned the ice for Andy but couldn’t see him.

“Shit.”  He said, jolting Sid out of the moment.

“What? Your knee?” Sid raised his head.

“No.  Andy’s father.”

“Go.”  Sid pulled back, pushing Jamie away.  “You okay.”

“Yeah.  I’m not completely crippled yet.”  Jamie gingerly skated towards the Zamboni doors, where family and friends were starting to pour onto the ice.  He still hadn’t seen Andy anywhere.  He saw Luc and Diane walking with Andy’s mother.  “Tobias?”

Luc pointed over towards the benches.  Jamie made his way through the crowd to get over there.  He limped down the runway towards the locker room.  He could hear yelling.  In German.

  _“Why?  Why are you here?”_ Jamie heard Andy’s raised voice before he saw the pair.  _“You said you didn’t want me.  Didn’t want a fag son.  Now you show up?  Now that I am playing in the NHL and I have made something of myself.  Why?  What do you want?  Money?  If that is all I am to you then you can just leave now.”_

 _“I want my son.  My family.”_ Tobias answered him, keeping his voice low, steady, calm. 

 _“You’re not my family.”_   Andy’s jaw tensed around the words.  _“My mother is my family.  She stood by me.  She accepted me.  You… you walked away from us.  Family doesn’t leave, I’ve learned that here.  I have a new family.  They love me for who I am.  Not for what I can give them.”_

_“I don’t want your money, Andreas.  I told you, I came because I want my family back.”_

Jamie wished he’d brought Tommy with him, or grabbed Kylie, although, her witnessing this fight wouldn’t have been ideal.  He wished he knew what was being said.  He had stopped several feet away from the two men who stood down the hall from the Pens’ locker room.  Nobody else was around right now as they were all out on the ice for the celebration.

Andy’s face was flushed red in his anger.  Other than raising his voice, that was the only emotional sign Andy was showing.

_“I have a family.  I don’t need you.  I have Jamie and Sid and Kylie.  I have… I have… I have Dillon.  That’s right.  I have a boyfriend.  What have you got to say about that?  You still want me?”_

_“Yes.”_   Tobias said softly.  He reached his hand up to hold the back on Andy’s neck, his other hand came to Andy’s shoulder, holding him steady.  _“I want my son, Andreas.  I’ve been a stupid old man.  Stupid and stubborn.  And lonely.  I’ve missed your mother.  I’ve missed you.  I want to try.  I want us to be a family again.”_ He stepped closer to Andy, tipping his head so their foreheads touched.  _“I want to try.  Can you forgive me?  Can you give me a second chance?”_

The tears he’d been holding back broke through then, rolling down Andy’s cheeks.  He stood, body shaking as he tried to hold the sobs in.  His father slid his arms around Andy’s shoulders and pulled him into a tight embrace.  Andy buried his face against his father’s neck, letting everything he’d been keeping inside out. 

 _“I love you, Andreas.  I love you.  Please forgive me.  I’m so sorry I hurt you.”_   Tobias rubbed Andy’s back, comforting his son, waiting for the sobs to ease.  He just kept repeating those words… I love you.

Eventually the sobs became sniffles.  Andy straightened. 

 _“Can we try?”_   Tobias asked.  Andy nodded, the corners of his mouth slowly curving up into a smile.  _“Yes?  Okay.  How about we start with you introducing me to your young man?  And your other family?  I’d like to meet the people who have taken such good care of my son.”_

Jamie ducked back down the runway and walked to the ice.  It looked like everything was going to be okay between Andy and his dad, no need to let the kid know he’d been watching all of it.  He was proud, though, of the way Andy had handled it.  He’d stood up to his dad, at least that’s what it looked like.  That had probably taken a lot.  It was something Andy wouldn’t have done a year ago.  And whatever the elder Schwartz had said, he’d evidently gotten Andy to let him back in.  That was also something Jamie didn’t think would have ever happened.

He skated over to where Sid and the rest of Jamie’s family were milling about on the ice, waiting for Jamie to return for pictures. 

“Everything okay?”  Sid leaned close and asked.

“Yep.  I think so.”  Jamie nodded towards the bench where Andy and his father had appeared.  Dillon was standing with them.  They watched as Dillon guardedly stuck his hand out to shake Tobias’.  Tobias grabbed the offered hand and pulled Dillon into a warm hug, which made Andy grin happily.  “I think our family’s gonna get an addition.”


	40. The Best Sex Isn't Always Sex

Photos.  Oh my god, so many photos.

Photos with their family.  Photos with the boys.  Photos with everyone else.

Jamie didn’t remember having to take so many photos after the last four cups.  It seemed, however, that everyone wanted a picture with Sid and the cup, a remembrance of his final season.  Jamie didn’t mind sharing him for all the photos, really, mostly he stood off to the side watching a lot of them, making his own memories of the night.  As he had all the other times, he tried to figure out which one would be his favorite from this year.  It was going to be a difficult decision.  Jamie wondered if he could just get them all framed.

At some point early in the celebration, he’d gotten word that Dana needed him over at the bench.  When he got there, Dana was no where to be seen, but Jamie’s favorite locker room footwear, a comfy pair of leather slippers, was waiting on the bench.  Jamie took his skates off and left them in place of the slippers.  It was much easier navigating his way around on his bad leg off his skates.

Tobias Schwartz had made a point of meeting each of Andy’s teammates.  His pride in his son beaming from his face as he asked everyone if they saw his son score the winning goal in broken English.  Andy always just smiled shyly, shook his head and laughed.

 _“Yes, Papa.  They saw.”_ He’d say, acting all embarrassed.  Jamie caught his eye at one point and knew he was loving every minute of the attention.  It looked like things were going to work out for them.

Eventually the party moved off the ice to the locker room, then either to the hotel or out into various bars and restaurants in Denver.  Jamie, Sid and their group went to the hotel where Mario had rented out the entire top floor, just in case there was a party to be had.  Fairly early in the night, the grandparents took charge of all the kids and left the younger people to party into the early morning hours.

Jamie sat on a couch in one of the suites, leg propped up on a coffee table.  He was sipping on a bottle of water, having only had a few sips of champagne out of the cup back in the locker room.  Alcohol wouldn’t mix well with the pain killers Dr. Marino had given him.

Sid wandered over and sat down next to him with a plate of food.

“You need to eat something.”

“Yep.  Yep.  Yep.”  Jamie giggled happily, reaching for a cracker and some cheese.  “This all you brought?”

“I’ll go get some more.”  Sid smiled.  “What’d Doc give you anyway, you’re feeling no pain.”

“I have no idea, but it was some seriously good shit.  Knee no hurty.  Dick feelin’ flirty.”  Jamie shoved a whole cracker in his mouth, grinning widely as he chewed noisily. 

“I’m not sure about that.”

“What?  You love drunk sex Jamie.”  Jamie grabbed a shrimp, dragging it through the blob of cocktail sauce before shoving it in his mouth.  “Mmmm… rimpies.”

“Drunk sex, yeah, I’m not sure if doped Jamie is better than drunk Jamie.”  Sid leaned over so his lips were right next to Jamie’s ear.  “Or if drunk sex is better than rocky mountain high sex, I should say.”

“Oh hell, that’s easy.”  Jamie didn’t even try to whisper.  “Cup sex is good… but fucking high as a kite, Sid’s last cup, cup sex is gonna be amaza-fuck.”

That brought chuckles from the guys that were close enough to hear it.

“Think you’re gonna have your hands full tonight, Sid.”  Someone offered.

Jamie grinned happily. 

“Oh yeah he is.”  He said rather suggestively, waggling his eyebrows at Sid.  “Full of dick.”

“Oh god.”  Sid groaned.

“That’s what Jamie’s gonna be saying later.  Oh god.  Oh god.  Oh god.”  That voice he recognized.

“Shut up, Flower.”  Sid feigned being mad.  “Don’t encourage him.”

“Besides,” Jamie said around another mouthful of food, “I don’t yell oh god.  It’s oh Sid, oh Sid, ooooooohhhhhh  SSSSSSSSSSSSSiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddddddd.”

“Oh my god.”  Sid face palmed.  “I’m gonna go get more food before you give away all our secrets.”

“I have no secrets from the boys, Sid.”  Jamie laughed.  “You know that.  Hey, speaking of the boys.  Have you seen Cheese Dip?  Are they behaving themselves?”

“Last I saw them, they were dancing.  And drunk as skunks.”

“That’s not behaving.  Bad rookies.”  Jamie scolded the room, shaking his finger at no one in particular, as if that would have some effect on the two youngsters.

“They’re having fun.  Seem to remember another rookie getting trashed when he won his first cup.”

“Who?  What?  I don’t remember that.”  Jamie let his head flop back on the couch cushion, lulling it to the side.  He gave Sid his best puppy dog eyes.  “Sid?  I need more food.”

“Okay, baby boy.  I’ll be right back.”  Sid left the half-empty plate with Jamie to finish and went in search of more food for him.

When he got back, Jamie was standing up, impatiently waiting for Sid.

“Gotta go?”  Sid asked, thinking Jamie needed to go to the bathroom.  “I can give you a hand.”

Jamie shook his head.  He took Sid’s hand and walked to the center of the room.

“Play it again, Geno.”  Jamie called across the room.

Sid’s eyes lit up and a wide smile came to his face as the first notes of the all too familiar song played.  Jamie held out his arms and Sid stepped into the embrace. 

“Is all love Sid sappy song.”  Jamie did his best Geno imitation.  “Is best song.”

Sid laid his head on Jamie’s chest and slid his arms around Jamie’s waist.  They didn’t dance, more or less just swayed back and forth to the music.  Jamie sang along to the song.  By the second chorus, they had been joined by most of the vets, as well as Flower and Kris in one giant Penguins hug.  Just as they had done during their first cup celebration.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

“Ssshhh.  Jesus, baby boy, the whole hotel’s gonna hear you.”  Sid straddled Jamie’s thighs and leaned over to kiss him to shut him up. 

“Mmmmm…”  Jamie hummed into Sid’s mouth.  When Sid let him up for air, he protested.  “Look, I’m just singing.  It’s not like I’m making obscene noises.”  He reached up and banged on the wall.  “Like are coming from the other side of the doors.”

“They’re having fun.”  Sid laughed.

“That they are.  But I don’t need to hear it.”  Jamie snorted.  “Humpf.  I don’t even know half those words I’ve heard.”

“I can close our side of the connecting doors.  Then you shouldn’t be able to hear them quite so well.”

“Nah.  I can just start making some good noises.  Drown them out.”

“It’s not a competition.”  Sid laughed, rubbing his hands up and down Jamie’s chest.

“Like hell it’s not.”  Jamie grinned.  “My cup sex is not to be out-moaned by some pathetic rookie nookie.”

“Oh god.  Please, no.”  Sid shifted off Jamie.  “Roll over.  I know what’s going to shut you up.”

“Your dick in my mouth?”  Jamie smirked.  “I’m all for that.”

“No.  Roll over.”

Jamie flopped over on his stomach and Sid straddled his legs again.  Sid started at his shoulders, massaging the taut muscles.

“You’re surprisingly tense given your level of doped.”

“Mmmmhhhhmmmm…”  Jamie nestled his head into a pillow.  “Nice.”

Five minutes into his back massage, Sid heard the first snore.

“Jame?”  Sid whispered.  “Baby boy?”

His question was answered by another snore.

“That’s my boy.”  Sid chuckled softly.  He shifted off Jamie and reached down and pulled the bed covers up over them as he stretched out next to Jamie.  Sid draped his arm over Jamie and lightly kissed the back of his shoulder before laying his head down.

“I don’t care what the best sex is, baby boy.  This is the best thing in the world.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Bit by bit the boys filtered into breakfast the next morning.  Some of them ordered mimosas or other drinks as they waited for the buffet to get set up.  The best way to avoid a hangover is to just keep drinking.

Jamie and Sid wandered in fairly early, both clean shaven and much more bright-eyed than most of their teammates.  A sure sign they were getting older, Jamie thought.  And, while the excitement of winning a fifth, or sixth, cup was no less than winning a first cup, it was different.  The was evidenced when a certain five-year-old came running across the banquet room and threw herself in her Papa’s arms as he stood in line to get food.

“Good morning, Sunshine.”  Sid pressed his lips against her neck, blowing raspberries and making her squeal.

“We had a party last night.  In Grammie and Grampa’s room.  It was awesomesauce!”

“That’s crazy.  You had a party?  Why would you have a party?”  Sid kidded her.

“Cause we won the cup!”  She shouted, then started the chant.  “We won the cup!  We won the cup!”

The whole room picked up the chant with her for several minutes, Sid spinning around with her in his arms, pumping them up.  Finally he put her down and shooed her over to Jamie.

“Morning, girlie girl.”  Jamie smooched her cheek as she climbed onto his lap.  “Papa bringing you food, too?”

“Yep.  Have you seen Dillon and Andy?  I wanted to make sure they saw your name on the cup.  They were asking.”

“They didn’t see it last night?”

“I don’t know.”  She shrugged.

Jamie scanned the room, searching for the rookies.  “I don’t see them.  They should be down soon, though.”

It wasn’t long before the Chamberlain and Schwartz families wandered in, the boys hand-in-hand and all goofy smiles.  Kylie picked up her plate and went to sit with them, planting herself on Dillon’s lap.

“Looks like at least one couple got lucky last night.”  Brian sat down next to Jamie.  He leaned back, making an exaggerated point of looking Jamie up and down in silent inspection.  He raises one eyebrow incredulously.  “But there wasn’t a celebration in the Crosby suite?”

“I fell asleep.  Damn drugs.”  Jamie bemoaned.  “It was great.”

“Best cup celebration yet.”  Sid smiled.

Brian watched as Olivia darted away from Kayla once she had her plate of food, going to sit with Kylie and the boys.  She eagerly climbed on Andy’s lap.  Andy’s dad laughed loudly as he watched the two hungover teenagers deal with the youngsters.

“Herr Schwartz isn’t what I expected.  He’s a lot older than Andy’s mom.”  Brian commented.

“She’s his second wife.  His first wife died of cancer and they never had any children.  It was a few years later that he met Eliana.  He really wanted a child, so they had Andy.”  Jamie explained the story he’d gotten.  “Did you know he played against Knuckles’ father once?  In a game in Germany before he left hockey and went to work and live in Switzerland.  Erich said he remembered him as a pretty good player.  I think that made Tobias feel a lot more welcome here, too.”

“Think things are going to be all right between them?  I mean, you think he’s just changed over night and accepted his son?”  Kayla asked.

“I think so.  And according to Eliana, it’s not so sudden.  He’s been following Andy all season but didn’t think Andy wanted him to be a part of his life.”

“You gotta be happy about it.”

“I’m happy for Cheese.”  Jamie unconsciously looked across the room for Luc.  “I don’t think he’d have ended up like, well,” Jamie dipped his head, “it’s tough not having your father’s approval and love.”

“Luckily, people can change, Fluff.”  Brian reached under the table and patted Jamie’s leg.  “Even you.”


	41. There's a New Sheriff In Town

“You okay?”

Jamie sat in his stall in the locker room at PPG, staring blankly out at the room. 

“Jame?”  Sid asked again.  “You okay?”

“No.”  Jamie dipped his head and stared down at the floor.  Sid swore he heard a soft sniffle.

“Jame?”

“This is it.  I mean, really it.”  Jamie whispered.

“We still have the parade.”  Logistics, and the threat of wet weather, had pushed the parade back a day.  The Penguins still had their clean-out day, however.

“But this.  This is it, Sid.  Last time we share a locker room.  You’re cleaning out your shit for good.  And then, well, the boys will be leaving.  Next year they’ll get their own place.  And well…  it’s just kind of hitting me.”

“Are you crying?”

“No.”  Jamie definitely sniffled this time.

“Oh.”  Sid almost chuckled.  “Okay.”

Sid stood up and stepped over in front of Jamie, arms spread wide, inviting.  Jamie leaned forward and rested his head on Sid, who wrapped his arms around Jamie’s head.

“It’ll be okay, baby boy.”

“No.”  Jamie sniffled again.  “It won’t.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once he had everything packed up, Sid made his rounds around PPG saying his goodbyes, well his see you later, to all the people he’d gotten to know over his career.  It was a lot of people.  Jamie knew it would take a while, so he’d arranged for the meeting with Pens’ management to be scheduled that morning.  Part of him was dreading this meeting.  There was a strong possibility this could all backfire on them.  Jamie made his way up to Bob Grummand’s office.

Grummand stood and motioned for Jamie to come in and sit down.  Jamie hopped over on his crutches and sat in the chair next to the big oak desk.  He acknowledged the others sitting around the desk – Sully, Mario, Dave Moorehouse, the Penguins CEO, and Pat Brisson, Jamie’s agent.     

“What’s the prognoses?  Haven’t seen Dr. Marino yet to get an update.”  Grummand asked, nodding at Jamie’s knee.

“It’s good, given what it felt like the other night.  MRI was better than expected, no tear.  So, a couple of months rest, some rehab, and I’m good to start the season.”  Jamie smiled.

“Excellent.  That is good news.  We’re really looking forward to moving forward next season with you as captain.  I think the number we gave Pat is extremely generous.  He doesn’t see any hang-ups to getting you signed come July first.”  

Jamie nodded his head.  “More than generous.”

“Well then, I guess all that’s left is for you to sign on the dotted line and it’s a done deal.  We have ourselves a new captain.”  Bob smiled.

He passed a copy of the contract over to Jamie.

Who promptly passed it back.

“Well, now, Bob.  I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”  Jamie leaned forward. 

The smile left Grummand’s face.  Mike almost laughed out loud and he coughed to cover his reaction.

“It’s, uh.  I thought we had a deal.”  Grummand looked at Pat, confused.

“It’s his contract.”  Pat shrugged.

“What’s the issue, Jamie?”  Mike asked, prodding Jamie to keep going with what he knew was coming next.

“Well.  I’m glad you ask.”  Jamie leaned back in his chair, relaxed and confident, a wry smirk on his face. “I guess my decision on what I do come July first all depends on you, Bob.” 

“I’m not sure I understand.”  Grummand’s brow furrowed.  “Your… decision.”

“Whether or not I stay in Pittsburgh.”

“What? I thought…”  Grummand’s expression changed from confused to angered.  “You aren’t going to leave Pittsburgh.  Is this some idle threat to get more money?”

“Of course not.  It’s never been about the money to me, you know that.  And, what I want isn’t really for me, per se.  I want a no trade clause.”

“You have one.”  Grummand said.  “Even without Sidney here, we kept that in your contract.  It’s on line…”

“For Brian Dumoulin.”

“Fifty…”  Grummand looked up from the contract.  “What?  Dumoulin? What’s he got to do with your contract?”

“As I understand it, you had his agent looking for a trade.  I’m guessing something that will tie in to the draft.  I know that several Metropolitan teams are extremely interested.”

“I still don’t see what that has to do with you.”

Mike grinned and sat back in his chair.  He winked at Jamie, subtly nodding his approval.

“Well, they’re pretty interested, because Brian’s agent may have hinted that I’d sign with whatever team Brian got traded to.”

“What?”  Grummand exclaimed.  “How could he?  How can you… you can’t do that.  You aren’t allowed to be talking to other teams.  Not until after the draft.”

“I didn’t talk to anybody.  And neither did Pat.  But Brian’s agent may have also led these teams to believe that I’d sign for the bargain basement price of league minimum.  See, like I said, I’m not about the money.”

Grummand started to say something, then he just huffed.  His body language changed, stiffening and taking on a defensive posture.  “Just who the fuck do you think you are?  Sidney Crosby?  Just because you’re his boy doesn’t mean…”

Jamie leaned forward again, placing his hands flat out in front of him and straightening himself just as defiantly.

“No.  I’m not Sidney.  And I’m not… his boy.  I’m one of the best players in the league, and, I’m pretty damn popular here in Pittsburgh.  How much money you making off my name on the back of a jersey?”

“Enough to pay your salary, Bob.” Moorehouse chimed in.  “I’d think about your next move.”

Grummand sat back in his chair, fuming.

“What else do you want?”  He grumbled.

“Brian.  That’s it.  He stays as long as I stay.  No trades.  If you renege, I’ll just retire…”

“You won’t be able to play on another team if you retire.”  Grummand perked up for a moment, thinking he’d found the flaw in Jamie’s plan.  “And, as I understand it, you’re not ready to give up hockey just yet.”

“Oh, I’m not.  You didn’t let me finish.  I’ll retire from the NHL, and so will Brian.  And we’ll go play in the KHL, seems there are several teams that would love to have us.  Just from some general inquiries Pat’s made.”

“You wouldn’t do that.  You can’t do that.  I’ll go to the league.  Tell them about your threat.”  When Jamie just shrugged and sat back in the chair looking smug, Grummand’s face flushed with anger.  “That’s an idle threat.  You’ve said it before, Pittsburgh is home.  You aren’t going to move to Russia.  Sidney.  Your little girl.  Nobody’s going to be happy about that kind of change.”

Jamie just kept smiling.  “It’s all a done deal, Bob, based on your next move, of course.”

Grummand turned to Moorehouse and Mario.  “You going to let him get away with this behavior?  Acting like a prima donna?  I can’t believe you’d let this little…”

“I’d be careful of what comes out of your mouth next, Bob.”  Moorehouse cut him off.  “If it’s the same word I’ve heard that you’ve used before to refer to Jamie, we’re going to have an issue.”

“You’re going to let him talk to me like this?  I think I have an issue with that, Dave.  One player does not make a team.  I don’t know why you let Mike coddle him the way he does.  He should have been traded years ago.”  Grummand snapped.  “And now, christ almighty, we have two more on the team.”

Boom.  There it was.  Bob Grummand showing his true colors.  Jamie saw the satisfied smiles come to Mike, Dave, and Mario’s faces.  They had him.

“I think that’s enough, Bob.  I think you’re done here.”  Mario spoke up.  “Pack up your personal belongings and clear out.” 

“What?  What the fuck?”  Grummand stammered.  “You’re firing me?”

“I believe that’s what Mario said.”  Moorehouse echoed Mario’s words.  “You’re done here.  There’s been talk all season about your, attitude, and well, we tried to believe that was just unfounded rumors, but I think you just stepped over that line.”

“I’ll go to the league.  Tell them about Jamie’s little stunt, him talking to other teams outside league regulations.”  Grummand threatened, glaring at Jamie.

“I don’t think you’ll do that, Bob.  Not if you want to work in hockey ever again.”  Mario said.  “Not that I’m sure you should, but, if another team wants to hire you, we won’t mention your attitude in any reference.  We’ll just say that you left for personal, family, reasons.  Tell people your wife wasn’t happy in Pittsburgh.  Too far from your girls in college.  So, you’re leaving to move closer to them.  Now, if you’d like to wait outside while we finish our business with Jamie, it’ll only be a few minutes, then you can get your belongings.”

Bob Grummand stumbled over his tongue, stuttering as he sat there and listened to Mario.  He was about to protest when he noticed the security guard step into the office. 

“Bob.”  Jamie said as Grummand stood up to leave.  “Let’s get something clear.  You asked who the hell I think I am.  Well, I’m Jamie Fucking Crosby.  And that trumps Bob Grummand any day.”

Jamie thought Grummand’s head was going to explode at that moment.  He huffed

Once Grummand was out of the room, Moorehouse’s posture relaxed.  He looked across the desk at Jamie, who had a worried look on his face.

“Relax Jamie.  That went better than I thought it would.  And thank you, we needed him to show his true colors.”

“When Mario told me you were going to let him go, I was a little surprised.  Not often a GM gets fired right after winning the Cup.”

“Let’s get something straight.”  Moorehouse smiled warmly.  “A GM doesn’t win you cups.  Players do.  Leaders do.  And that’s you.”

“We got ourselves a new sheriff.”  Sully chuckled. 

“And a deputy.”  Moorehouse added, laughing.  “Brian gets his no trade clause, Jamie.  If that’s all it takes to keep you happy, then it’s a small price to pay.  Your salary will stay the same, two mill a year.  And you agreed to a seven-year extension, right?”

“That all sounds right.  Thank you.”

“Well then, gentlemen, I think we’re done here.”  Moorehouse said, standing up. 

Jamie shook hands with the other four men and then left, leaving Pat to work out arrangements to announce the deal and Sid’s retirement come July first.

\--------------------------------------------------

Jamie wandered around for a bit, looking for Sid.  He found him on the ice, skating circles and figure eights along the center line.  Jamie went to retrieve a pair of skates when something on the bench caught his eye.  His skates.  He sat down and put them on.

Jamie stepped out onto the ice and slowly glided up to Sid.

“You okay?”  Jamie asked.

“Thought I’d take one last trip around the ice.”  Sid’s voice was soft, tinged with a hint of sadness.  “So, how’d your meeting go?”

Jamie snorted, reaching out to take Sid’s hand.  “It went great.  We came to an agreement.”

“Did you let Dumo know?”  Sid let Jamie pull him into an embrace.

“Yep.”

“Your knee okay with this?”  Sid rested his head on Jamie’s chest when Jamie nodded and let Jamie guide them across the ice.  “So.  Did you use it?”

Jamie laughed.  “Hell yeah!  Told him just who he was dealing with.”

“Jamie Fucking Crosby.”  Sid sing-songed the name.  “You’ve come a long way, baby boy.”

Jamie maneuvered them around in circles, lazily working their way over to the far glass near the penalty box.  He pushed Sid up against the glass, bracketing him in with his arms.

“You gonna miss it?”

“Of course.”

“You can always change your mind.  Stick around another six or seven years.”  Jamie leaned down and lightly kissed along Sid’s jaw. 

“I don’t think so, baby boy.”  Sid tipped his head back, giving Jamie room to trail the kisses down the chords of his neck.  “It’s time.”

“Or, the Pens are going to be looking for a new GM,” 

“I’ll bet he didn’t take that well.”

“It was awesome.  Wish you could have seen it.”  Jamie snickered.

“You’re so bad.  I couldn’t believe it when Mario said he wanted him gone.  Certainly made your life easier, getting your deal for Brian.”

“Mmmhhhmmm…”  Jamie mumbled distractedly, nibbling at Sid’s earlobe.  “Enough talk about Grummand.  Ya know, there’s something we’ve never done here, in the last ten seasons?”

“Hhhhmmm…. I can’t think of anything.”

“Ever get a blowjob in the penalty box?”  Jamie raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Well, as a matter of fact…”  Sid grinned.

“Oh my god, you are so full of shit, Crosby.”  Jamie laughed.  “There’s no way mister straight-lace had sex in a public place.”

“Ask Tanger.  About celebrating our first cup.”  Sid’s grin widened.  Jamie froze, staring at Sid unbelieving, trying to figure out if Sid was kidding.

“No fucking way.”  Jamie shook his head.  “You’ve never.”

“Wanna be my second?”  Sid nodded to the penalty box.  “It’ll be quick.”

“It’s always quick with you.”  Jamie smirked.  He took Sid’s hand and started toward the box.

“Hey, lover boys.”  Brian’s voice echoed across the empty rink.

“Oh my god.  How does he know?  How?”  Jamie groaned.  “Does he have my phone bugged?  Are there cameras somewhere?  Are they watching us?”

“Somebody’s always watching.  You know that.”  Sid chuckled.

“Hey.”  Brian yelled.  “We’re all heading out.  You guys coming?  Party at Mario’s.”

“Yeah.  We’re coming.”  Sid yelled back as he started for the exit.

He and Jamie stopped at the bench and changed out of their skates.  As he started down the runway, Sid turned around and gave the ice one last look.

A chapter of his life was ending.  He had believed this day would never come.  His hockey career had been all that he could have ever dreamed it would be, and then some.  But, the rest of his life was going to be filled with things he had never dreamed he could have.  Love… and a family.


	42. I'll Be There For You

Jamie had made it through training camp, preseason, and opening night at PPG.  The start of the season, his first season without Sid, hadn’t been as bad as he’d thought it would be.

The Pens won the season opener.  Jamie had two goals and two assists and was named first star of the game.  After that the season had taken an abrupt turn that had Jamie questioning if he should be the captain. 

They lost to the Islanders, 6-1, then the Devils 5-2.  What may have been the most bothersome was an OT loss to the Rangers.  The thought of losing to the Rangers, who had hired Bob Grummand as their GM over the off-season, just grated on Jamie. 

Then came their first road trip.  The longest of the year as they made their trip to western Canada and Minnesota.  Eleven days.  Five games.  First up would be Vancouver, followed by Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg and Minnesota. 

Jamie had been late getting to practice the morning they were set to fly out.  He seemed pre-occupied and nervous as he hurried around the locker room getting ready.  The team noticed.  The coaches noticed.  They all went to Sully.

Sully told them it would be okay.  Nothing to worry about.  Then he watched carefully to make sure he was right about that.

The minute he saw Brian sidle up next to Jamie as they stood by the bench waiting to get started, Sully relaxed.

They were his Thing 1 and Thing 2.  Flower’s grasshoppers.  Two bodies and one brain.  Brian would take care of Jamie.  For all that Brian was Jamie’s security blanket, Jamie was just as much an anchor for Brian.  Best friends.  And as Bob Grummand had learned, inseparable.

Brian stayed close to Jamie all through practice.  Subtle support that only the most trained observers would notice.  Things like Brian standing close to Jamie, letting their shoulders touch.  Kneeling next to Jamie over by the whiteboard as they listened to Sully lay out the drill, his knee bumped up against Jamie’s.  Standing directly behind Jamie in line along the boards, a calming presence.

By the end of practice, Jamie seemed a little better.  He was one of the last out, making Andy and Dillon wait patiently for him.

The boys had spent the off-season together and decided to get their own place when they came back to Pittsburgh, provided they both made the big team.  Jamie assured them there was no worry about that, but until it was a certainty, they’d moved back in with Jamie and Sid.  Last week, they’d finally started looking for their own apartment.

Jamie walked absent-mindedly through the check-in process for their charter flight.  He hauled his bags out to the plane and boarded.  Jamie hesitated a few seconds by the row where Sid would have been sitting.  He turned to the boys.

“Why don’t you take those two seats.”  He nodded towards Sid and Flower’s seats.

“Okay?”  Dillon looked apprehensive.

“Yep.”  Jamie nodded, walking back a few rows to take his normal seat.  Ten minutes later Brian boarded, giving him a strange look as he walked by the kids.

Brian shoved his carry-on into the overhead next to Jamie’s bag.  He climbed over Jamie’s legs and took the window seat.

“You okay?”

“Yep.”  Jamie smiled.  “Why?”

“I thought maybe we’d have new seats.”

“Nah.  These are our seats.  I like it back here.”  Jamie said.  He’d never admit that some of Sid’s superstitions had rubbed off on him.

Brian smiled back, understanding completely.

“It was weird today.”  Jamie said after a few minutes.  “Saying good-bye to Kylie and Sid.”

“You’ve traveled without him before.”

“Not like this.  It really hit me this morning.”  He bumped his shoulder against Brian’s.  “Thanks, by the way.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Brian nudged him back.

“Right.”  Jamie smirked.  “Anyway, Sid told me to tell them to take the seats.  Start a new tradition.  Hopefully they’ll be here long-term.”

“I don’t think anybody will try to bump them out of those seats.  Not without your okay.”

“Why not?”  Jamie turned his head to look at Brian.

“You know why not.”  Brian smacked Jamie’s thigh with the back of his hand.  “Smartass.”

They chatted as they waited for everyone to board the plane.  Jamie watched as several of the veterans eyed Andy and Dillon skeptically.  Jamie scowled at a couple of them, stopping them with just a look before they said something to the kids.  It had been okay last year, actually becoming a team joke, that they bounced the rookies around from seat to seat.  On a long flight, the guys might have found a half dozen excuses to make them move to different seats, only to get bumped again after they’d gotten settled in.  No, these were now their seats.  No one would move them.

“Hey, Cap.”  Hags called over to Jamie across the aisle.  “Dinner on you tonight?”

Several heads popped up, like a colony of meerkats on alert, all turning towards Jamie at the mention of the Captain buying dinner.

“I think I could probably manage that.”  Jamie said loud enough to make sure everyone heard.  There was a cheer and some applause.

“I’ll make the reservation.  Got a preference?”  Hags asks.

“Nah.  How ‘bout you just surprise us.”  Jamie tells him.  “Somewhere that we can maybe get away with nice jeans instead of dress pants, much more comfortable and stress-free.  That okay with everybody?”

He gets another round of cheers as a response.

“Yeah, you learned from the best.  Way to welcome everybody to the season.”  Brian grinned happily.  Then a serious look came over his face.  “Oh shit.”

“What?”

“I just thought of something.  Oh shit.”

“What’d you forget?”

“No.  Nothing.  I just realized that I’m never gonna get a room to myself again.  Am I?”

Jamie laughed.  “Nope.  I already took care of our sleeping arrangements.  You stuck with me, Dumes.”

“Fuck.”  Brian groaned.  “Why me?”

Jamie just smiled and waited.  Brian held up his fist.  Jamie put his fist on top of Brian’s.

Jamie stood up and got his laptop out of his bag in the overhead.  He handed Brian a set of earpods and plugged them into the laptop as he loaded a movie for them to watch.  Halfway through, he was asleep, his head lulled over on Brian’s shoulder.  Brian didn’t mind, he’d gotten accustomed to being Jamie’s pillow.

The bus ride to the hotel was noisy as they all chatted about the restaurant Hags had found for dinner.  They set a time to meet in the hotel lobby to go out.  Brian grabbed their bags once they were at the hotel while Jamie went to check them in and get their room keys.

They took the elevator up to the sixth floor, got out and walked down the hallway.  Jamie stopped outside a room and handed Brian a keycard.

“Your room, sir.”

“My room?”  Brian questioned.  He saw Jamie holding another room key.

“Your room.  I’m, uh, next door.”

“You okay?  Separate rooms?  Wow.  I didn’t expect this.”

“They’re connecting rooms.  It’s… a start.”  Jamie ducked his chin down, looking sheepish.  “Give this a try and see how I do.”

“Works.”  Brian opened his door and watch Jamie go to the next room.  The first thing he did when he got in the room was to open his connecting door.  Jamie did the same.

Brian changed his clothes, hung up his suit and then wandered over to Jamie’s room.  Jamie was sitting on the edge of his bed, his bag open next to him.  He hadn’t changed, hadn’t unpacked anything, except…

Jamie looked up at Brian, his eyes glistening.

“What’s wrong?  What’re those?”  Brian asked, pointing at the stack of colored papers Jamie was holding.  Jamie handed them to Brian then sat there wiping his eyes, trying to hold the tears back.

Brian went through the pile, paper by paper.  The first few were all drawings from Kylie.  There was a picture of stars and the moon with the message, love you to the moon and back, written across the bottom.  Another was of the sun coming up with the words, you are my sunshine.  There was one of Jamie shooting the puck, or at least Brian thought the stick figure was supposed to be Jamie.  It said, you got this.  The last of the ones that looked to be from Kylie had what looked like a box of chocolates drawn on it.  In big black letters is said, I love chocolate the most.  Chocolate was crossed out and in bright red was written, my daddy.

“Ah, Fluff.  These are awesome.”  Brian smiled.  He glanced up at Jamie, who had pulled his phone out.

“Look at the next one.”  Jamie sniffled.

Brian shuffled the top paper to the bottom.  The last picture wasn’t from Kylie.  It was a picture of Jamie shooting a goal.  It was a bit better than a stick figure.  Above it was written, I love hockey the most.  On this one, hockey was crossed out and Jamie was written below it.  Underneath the photo was a short note from Sid.

_You are doing great.  There is always a cup hangover for the first month or so, they’ll get past it.  You just keep doing what you’re doing, Captain Crosby.  Love you more than anything in the world… well… maybe except for a cute little blonde._

“Hey,” Jamie said into his phone.  “So, you love me more than hockey?”

Brian grinned at Jamie.  He handed him back the drawings, patted him affectionately on the head, and went back to his own room.

Jamie was quiet at dinner, which in itself wasn’t a reason for Brian to be concerned.  Jamie was often quiet when in a group of players.  It was when they got back to the hotel and Jamie shut himself in his room alone that Brian was a little worried.

“Just tired.  Jet lag.”  Jamie told him.  “Think I’m gonna just turn in for the night.”

“Don’t wanna hang?  Watch a movie?”

“Nah.  I’m good.”  Jamie said.  But when he closed his connecting door, Brian knew something was up.  He left his door open, just in case.

Brian found a movie to watch and fell asleep before the end.  He rolled over some time later and looked at the clock by the bed, 1:30.  No Jamie yet.  Maybe he was just tired.  Brian closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

The sound of the door opening woke him up.  With three kids, he’d become a light sleeper.  He felt the mattress dip next to him as Jamie climbed in and stretched himself out.  Brian opened his eyes and looked at the clock again, 3:38.  He rolled over.

In the dim light coming in from the window, Brian could make out that Jamie was laying on his side with his back to him.  Brian slipped one arm under Jamie’s pillow and draped the other over Jamie’s waist.  He scooted himself over until his chest was pressed against Jamie’s back.

“I got ya.”  Brian whispered. 

“Always.”  Jamie mumbled into the pillow.  “And forever.  Dume-ass.”

“Always and forever, Fluff.”


	43. Nothing Can Last Forever...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No more rookies, Sid. No more. I can’t take this.” Jamie told him, drawing Sid out of his memories and back to the present. “I mean it.”
> 
> Sid nodded his head. In six years, Jamie had not taken in another rookie. That’s why Sid was shocked a couple of days later when Jamie came home from practice dragging along Jakob Nikolayevich, said generational wonderkid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I like to do, I end this chapter in the boys' lives with a glimpse of the future. I hope you have enjoyed this story and Sid and Jamie's story so far through all the books... There is still so much to tell... More is coming, rest assured! I have so many ideas for A Day In the Life, I may work on them for a bit as I figure out where the main story goes next....
> 
> Speaking of ideas... I need to send a big thanks to my muse HeyHeyHockeytown... Thanks for helping me get this chapter out and for making it flow.... you are the bestest ever!!!
> 
> As always.... love to hear your comments.... thanks for them and for sticking with me. You are all the bestest.

2030   
  
Sid had just laughed at Jamie as he’d given him a kiss and shooed him out the door on physical testing day.  Jamie still had a love-hate relationship with the day marking the start of a new season. After fifteen seasons, the feeling had shifted strongly to the hate side.  Sid kept telling him that retirement was great and he could give it a try. Jamie always said that he didn’t hate the tests that much. 

Sid and Kylie would meet him later at the diner, after Sid picked Kylie up at school.  It was hard to believe that she had started sixth grade this year. She was also now attending a public school instead of the private cyber-school she’d attended at either the training center or PPG depending on where the Penguins were practicing.  Sid and Jamie had had many… discussions… over where she would go to school. In the end, Jamie won out. It had helped that Brian was sending Olivia to the same school this year.   
  
“She needs socialization outside of the hockey world, Sid.”   
  
“You make it sound like we’re raising a puppy.”  Sid had argued. “She’s done just fine so far. And it’s safer for her at a private school.”   
  
“It’s not good for her.  Jesus, she thinks she owns the world already.  She needs some reality.”    
  
“She’s a great child.  I don’t think she’s spoiled.”   
  
“Come on.  Really? She’s a, um, what is it they call her?  Hockey princess.” Jamie said sarcastically. “She thinks she owns the Pens, Sid.  Or should I say, she thinks she runs things.”   
  
“Well, okay.  So maybe she’s a little…”   
  
“Bossy?”   
  
“That’s Mario’s doing.  Not mine.”   
  
“Right?  Pass the buck.  She’s going to public school.  End of story.”   
  
And that had been that.    
  
Jamie knew the real reason Sid wanted her to keep going to private classes.  Sid could sneak in and watch practice while she was in class. His convenient excuse of being there to drop her off or pick her up fooled no one.  Inevitably, Jamie would hear about needing to do this or that to help the team. Jamie made him promise that he wouldn’t do that this year. 

And Sid kept that promise. For three days. 

Jamie was about to step onto the ice when he saw Sid sitting at the end of the top row, in the far corner, trying to remain inconspicuous. He never was good at hiding. He wore a black ball cap pulled low over his face, and a hoodie scrunched up around his neck. But the way he sat was unmistakable. 

Jamie scanned the rest of the seats, looking for Kylie.  He didn’t see her. A second later he heard her.   
  
“Hey, boys.  Looking good so far.”   
  
“What’re you doing down here?”  Jamie turned around. She was standing behind the bench.   
  
“Papa said I could.”   
  
“Papa did, did he?” 

The rest of the team, overhearing the conversation as they stepped onto the ice, scattered to the other end, not wanting to get in the middle of this.  

Sid would complain to Jamie that Kylie was just a miniature version of him, soft green puppy dog eyes and all, and, being the sucker he was Sid could never say ‘no’. So, over the years, the role of disciplinarian had fallen on Jamie’s shoulders, and Jamie was surprisingly okay with that. However, it did no good having a disciplinarian when Sid just overrode everything and gave in to her anyway.

“He said to see if Mickey would stick around and let me take some shots after you guys finish,”     
  
“You’re a d-man.  You don’t need to practice shots.”  Jamie turned and gave Sid the evil eye.     
  
“Mickey!”  Kylie called out. One of the goalies glanced over his shoulder, and smiled large and bright 

“Hey, is favorite Crosby.” He skated back towards the bench and motioned her over. “You bring hockey clothes?  We play later?”

Mikhail Georgi was a big, burly Russian, in some ways reminding Jamie of Ovechkin.  Jamie didn’t refer to him as that fucking Russian, however. No, he was simply Mickey.  Mickey had come to the team in a trade last season. He was there to provide a veteran presence and back-up the newest young goalie prospect.  Jamie wasn’t sure about Danske, the twenty-one year old goalie from Finland. He wasn’t Muzz or Jarry, both of whom had retired. The kid was weird, even by goalie standards.  The hope was Georgi could settle him down. 

“Yep.  I did.”  Kylie looked at Jamie smugly.  “See?”

“I don’t think so.  You need to go sit with your father.  No extra hockey today.” Jamie nodded at Mickey, who dutifully skated away.     


“Poop.”

“Kylie Marie.”  Jamie scolded. “Go.”   
  
Reluctantly she stormed around the end of the rink and climbed the bleacher steps in a huff.  Jamie saw Sid laugh as she sat down and defiantly crossed her arms in front of her chest and did her best pouty Jamie imitation.  Yeah, she was his mini-me.

Over the next hour, Jamie found himself glancing up to the bleachers more often than he would like to have admit. Kylie had moved seats, sitting up next to Sid, and they looked to be in serious discussion, pointing at various skaters on the ice. Sid would pick a player, and Kylie would watch, before turning to her papa and speaking. It was a back and forth discussion. Jamie knew this game,he called it pick-a-player, and everyone who had ever donned the black and gold had been subject to her opinion. Even Mario. It had been one of the ways they had taught her about the finer points of being a good, well rounded hockey player. 

With a smile, Jamie turned his focus back towards his team. 

Near the end of practice, Jamie saw Georgi motion to the stands.  He looked up and saw Kylie scrambling down the steps like she was shot out of a canon, followed by Sid.  He shook his head and rolled his eyes at the goalie.   
  
“Really? Some help you are,”  Jamie said as he shot a puck at Georgi’s head.     
  
Jamie knew that today he’d been set up, though, when not just Kylie, but a whole gaggle of Pens kids hit the ice as soon as the last practice was over.  A few seconds after the kids came out, Brian and Sid came out on skates, too.    
  
“You had this planned.”  He said sternly. “Nice of you to let me in on it.”   
  
Jamie gave in rather quickly.  Skating with the kids was one of his favorite things.   
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------   
“So, how’s it look so far?”  Sid asked as he, Jamie and Brian sat in a booth at the diner.  The kids had their own booth.   
  
“Why don’t you ask Kylie?  I saw that game of pick-a-player… who was the target this time?” Jamie paused, took a bite of his fries, “It’s the third day, Sid… i mean, its kinda too early to tell.”

“The new kid looks good though,”  Brian said. “Hope he was worth the price.”   
  
“He’s a generational player.”  Sid smiled. “The next McJesus.  Here to save the Penguins.”   
  
“The Pens don’t need saved.”  Jamie huffed.   
  
“Easy slugger.  I’m not disparaging your captaincy.  But you have to admit, we need a push after last year.”   
  
“Why not?  Everybody else is saying I’m not you.  Shit. Last year was a disaster, no doubt.  But I’ve won a cup without you.”   
  
The Pens had failed to make the playoffs the previous season.  The first time since Sid’s rookie year that they didn’t go into the postseason. It had been a year full of injuries for the team, with them pushing 400 man games lost. Even Sully had been down for a week after taking a puck to the jaw during a wild bout in Detroit. 

Still, nobody cared that Jamie had led them to another cup the year before. All that mattered was the fact that they had packed away the locker room in April, instead of June. But the first month of summer had been full of its own dramas, only those dramas had been off ice, instead of on. 

It was trade worthy of Jim Rutherford that landed the Pens the number one draft pick. A great trade and the luck of the draw.  But, it had cost them dearly, at least in Jamie’s opinion. A defensive prospect, two draft picks, Dillon, and with him, Andy. 

It felt like his family had been ripped apart.   
  
“They wanted to go.”  Sid told him repeatedly after the trade was announced.  “Toronto is Dils’ home. He always dreamed about playing there.  And they’re going to give them a hell of a contract. You know that.  It was a good move for them.”   
  
It was just another reason for Jamie to reaffirm his ‘no more rookies’ rule, was what it was; a rule that had started way back after Sid’s last season, at the cup parade…   
  
_ “They stole our daughter.”  Jamie lamented. _ _   
_ _   
_ __ “They didn’t steal her.  She wanted to ride with them.”

_ “That’s even worse.  She abandoned us. Left us for the Swiss Cheese and the French Dip.”  Jamie put his hand over his heart dramatically. “I’m deeply wounded, Sid.  Scarred for life.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Jamie’s feelings had been dealt another blow when the boys moved out and into their own apartment at the start of the following season, their second in the league.  The house had seemed too quiet without them. It had had taken months, and the addition of two dogs to the family, for Jamie to shake the empty nest blues. _ _   
_ __   
“No more rookies, Sid.  No more. I can’t take this.”  Jamie told him, drawing Sid out of his memories and back to the present.  “I mean it.”   
  
Sid nodded his head.  In six years, Jamie had not taken in another rookie.  That’s why Sid was shocked a couple of days later when Jamie came home from practice dragging along Jakob Nikolayevich, said generational wonderkid.   
  
“No more rookies?”  Sid had questioned. “And are you sure he’s making the team?”   
  
“I know.  But, well, yeah…  and he’s making the team.  Best center I’ve seen since you and G.”  Jamie smiled, pulling Sid into a hug. “So, we’re adopting him.  He’s gonna need some guidance cause of all the attention he’s gonna get.  I think we’ve got more than just a little experience in that area.”   
  
“Okay then.”  Sid had agreed.   
  
He had no way of knowing that Jamie’s decision would change their lives both on and off the ice...forever. 


End file.
